Stultus: Blog

I'd uploaded it for the contest about three weeks ago but it has only just now gone public. I have to say that I'm extremely disappointed with the voting score it received. I thought it was one of my better efforts of the last few years and it had the usual 'classic' Stultus elements of humor + slightly weird. The story ended up in 5th place... and I have to admit that this is very discouraging to me.

Maybe I've pissed off Laz (again)... who knows.

The next chapter of Baad is sort-of done, but it needs another looking over first. Same with the next (done) chapter of Now Is. I've had a few 'good' days lately, but I've still got 6+ months of stuff around the house that needs to be done, so motivation is slightly lacking.

The first 11 chapters of Baad were posted right before my heart attack... and very clearly I wasn't feeling particularly well. I do remember having lots of brain-fog and a constant inability to concentrate. Frankly, this story was something of a mess, with more typos even than usual for me. I don't remember seeing any email lists from readers with stuff to fix, at the time... so I've done what I can now.

I've had a few pretty decent days in a row, this past week, and I've tried to use them. Baad chapters 1 to 5 were tweaked the other day, and just now I've uploaded the revised chapters 6 through 10. Might get to the last, chapter 11 later this evening.

I suck at editing, but I've cleaned up up a lot of the worst errors that I'm frankly quite ashamed got posted (and remained posted) for the last six months. It's certainly better, if not perhaps perfect. If anyone wants to send me a list of remaining typos, I can get them done asap.

I noted that Laz has posted a Valentine's Day contest, and in a fit of unusual efficiency, I went through my archive of 200+ story ideas and partial outlines and found something that I thought would do. It's been at least a year since I've been able sit down and type an entire new story in one sitting (17 MS Word pages) - but I did it!

Writing is much harder for me than it used to be, and there seems to be a slight disconnect now between what my mind wants... and what get typed. Entirely different words, in nearly every sentence! I suppose I can blame poor blood flow, or else I had a very small stroke during the widow-maker. Anyway, It's done and has been uploaded, and I suppose it will appear for reading Feb 12th, if I remember the rules right.

Work has started on Baad Chapter 12. I think I now remember what do with it next. Two new pages or so done... but I stopped to do the Valentine's story instead. I'm still tweaking the 3rd chapter of Now is All We Have. It's done... but I'm never 100% satisfied. Probably will be posted in the next day or three.

Post-heart attack, I still have more bad days than good ones, mostly due to having hyper-low blood pressure due to have only minimal heart function left still. But I'm trying to persevere. On good days (1-2 per week) I'm trying to get caught up on everything here at home that I couldn't manage these last six months or so. Bad days, about the same frequency, it's all I can do to camp out on the sofa. I often just can't take in enough air, it feels like, so maybe I'm going to need home oxygen :/

On middling days in-between, I've been able to spend some time (quietly) on the computer without too much breathing stress or incurring the wrath of 'She Who Must be Obeyed'. This has given me a little bit of time to try and figure out what stories are in progress and what needs to be done about them. My health is not good... but I have things here I want to do still.

'Baad' is in a slight problem area for me currently because unlike most stories, I had a very poor written outline for this tale (which is about 3/4 told already) and unfortunately my memories (before the widow-maker) of the events of the last few chapters is very fuzzy in my head, I'll need to probably rework this a bit. I think I know what happens next, so I hope to start working again on this in the next month or so.

Almost forgotten, I found that I had finished 100+ MS Word pages of a brand new story last spring that was scheduled to be my next story after Baad was completed (again, not much left to do). Since life is very uncertain, I decided that I might as well edit these a bit and post them up, a chapter or two a week for awhile. There are also 20+ pages of another story, plus bit and pieces I'd assembled for existing 'in progress' stories too, but nothing in that stack yet 'ready'.

I have always been vaguely unhappy at the way an older story of mine "In a Secret Garden" turned out. I'd re-write that tale completely differently these days and lose about 80%+ of the sexual content, but there are pieces of this story I'm still moderately proud of... and I wanted (eventually) to do a 'better' end of the world story the next time around. I had not felt 'well' all last spring and early summer before the heart attack, and I think some of that sort of uneasiness about life and love and second chances appears in this new story. Sex will be minimal. A bit is necessary for the plot, later on, but I don't intend on anything graphic or weird.

Now IS all that we have... I wrote than phrase down in my notes a year or so ago, while pondering the madness that the world had become in recent years. I think it's still very apt.

(Edit Update)
I needed to re-read Born Under a Baad Sign so that I could perhaps refresh my memory about where the tale was going next (it did) but I also noticed that since this was originally posted just before my heart attack, that I hadn't had the chance to do a bit of typo cleanup. Feeling alright-ish today, I decided to do just that. Chapters 1-5 have been re-edited and gently tweaked in a few minor places. Hoping to do chapters 6-11 later this week. Also just (barely) have started the next new chapter :)

As of my latest visit with my cardiac doc, I have about 30% +/- remaining heart function, but since I have not had a repeat cardiac incident since, they let me stop wearing a LifeVest (portable defibrulator machine that weighed about 15 pounds) day and night. I'm down from about 13 daily medications to just 8, so, my life is very slowly returning to normal-ish.

Blood sugar has been 'normal' every day for over a month now and my diet (and later blood tests) have been good. Down 40 pounds and close enough now to my goal weight that I'm enjoying a 'cheat' weekend. Did you know that pumpkin (pie) is an excellent food for reducing blood sugar?

My main issue now is ultra-low blood pressure. I'm 80/60 now at best (on a good day) and have many more often bad days where I'm 60/50-ish. This gives me constant dizzy spells and most days I can't (or shouldn't) drive. I can only walk (or talk) for short periods of time before I begin gasping for breath. Not to mention the near constant brain fog... this is pretty much keeping me unable to write once more.

I thought I would sit down a few days ago and try to finish up Born Under a Baad Sign... but I couldn't even remember clearly in my head what had already taken place, or what needed to occur next. My written outline for this was skimpy and my usual ability to write 98% of a story in my head first, then type it, is currently toast. Sorry...

Too many days being spent being quiet on the sofa watching old History channel programs, Great British Baking, and endless Bigfoot documentaries... lol. I did fix some minor PC problems a day last week when I was feeling almost 'myself' (another bad power supply) and cruised the Amazon Black Friday sales for a few small upgrades :)

eBay got extremely unhappy with me being in the hospital (and away from a computer) for nearly a month and crippled my selling account I've had since 1998. I've made 4 phone calls to customer service who always say my account will be fixed... but it still isn't. Etsy had no problems, fortunately, and I'm moving more and more things there. This is my 'play money' and thank God I don't rely on this for mortgage and groceries! I think I need to file for SS Disability, but I've been procrastinating.

Really, really, really need to do a chapter of my Christmas serial (When the Hunter) but I need a good day when my BP is up and my head is sharp... and I only get about one of those a week, currently, and then have to take care of the wife, errands, and everything else that didn't get done that week.

Anyway... I wanted to give everyone a brief update. I'd like to think that I'm improving and getting better, but the progress has been glacially slow.

I've been home from the hospital for a few weeks and trying to get back into a life-routine again. I'm losing weight and heavily watching carbs in my diet (doing something between Atkins and Keto diet). Being on 10+ different medications probably helps too. For extra fun, I'm wearing a 10+ pound portable defibrillator 24/7. Absolutely hate that thing!

FYI, for the curious. A major heart attack with 17 days in hospital cardiac ICU runs to about $380k, according the pile of bills coming in. No insurance, so this could get entertaining.

Had a follow-up visit today with my chief cardiologist and the results were mixed. I have something like 40-50% heart damage but there is hope that more weight loss + exercise + medication will decrease this to @ 35% in a few months. Not really happy news, but it beats the alternative... I was reminded that few of the surgical cardio staff thought I was going to live (my heart stopped three times on the operating table), so I've already defied the odds.

I have things I wanted to do before I die... and it looks like I need to get a bit off of my ass and get to them. Finishing more stories here on SOL is certainly on the list.