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Chapter 5 The Trap is Sprung has been rewritten and now posted
The next day I started my plan in motion and called my father, the first thing he asked was where had I been and where was I now? He said it had been like I had dropped off the face of the planet.
As always please enjoy, and let me know if I stepped in it.
GD
--- Spoiler alert ---
I recently received the following email
Re: Aw Fuck Me! - Chapter 7 - Storiesonline
Message from Anonymous. DO NOT REPLY:
What a fucking annoying story! Indecisive hero,
zero blood or sex! Interesting science though
That's it no name nothing more.
I had to stop and think about this, because I appreciate comments from my readers both good and bad.
In the story Description it says little sex, so don't expect a lot of it, I didn't say a lot of sex, or that it would be a stroke story or no sex. It says little sex.
About blood, I am a veteran, and I have seen all the blood I wish to, and I don't want to write about a lot of bloodletting. Do people die, yes a lot of them do, it is war. Generals and political leaders such as a country's leader do not sit in the front row and see a lot of blood spatter. But they are aware of the casualties and costs.
An Indecisive hero. Well what do you expect from a young man that suddenly finds himself thrust into a position he had tried to avoid, what's more his choices will not just affect him, but everyone in the compound, and possibly the world. Is it any wonder he questions his options, he is after all not fully trained for the responsibly he now bares? He will grow into it.
And lastly Interesting science though I haven't really said much about that, that will come much later. But he seemed to like it, even though.
Maybe the part I found 'annoying' was that judging from email heading he had read up to chapter 7 and waited till then to send his comment, most likely he will give me a '1' vote.
As I said I like comments, some tell me where I am going wrong, or you would like to see something done different. More tell me about my poor grammar. Have I told you that I was a very poor student back 50 years ago, and so I am struggling hard to learn those lessons I had failed to do so then.
I may write alternate chapters as another book, some writers have, changing their stores just a little to fulfill a request. I haven gotten there yet.
Some of you may not like the changes I have made, I had wanted to summit it as a new story, but the site moderator suggested I don't, and gave me some very valid reasons.
I have a lot more story to write, there will be another jump, in fact a number of them, and sooner or later some of the mysteries I am trying to create will be revealed. I just don't want to do it here or too soon.
As part of my current expansion I will go into more detail of the war's two fronts. Then there will be… well there will be more story to read.
Please enjoy, and as always if you have a comment good or bad please make it.
Lastly while it says the story is Incomplete and Inactive (Last Activity: 5/12/2015 8:58:40 PM ) it's not please use the more info button for the latest dates and additions.
Again Thanks for reading,
GD
Chapter 4 Retribution has been summited for posting.
It has been expanded from 6 pages to 40, so I hope you like what was added.
I can't thank my readers enough, while I might write the story for my own enjoyment, I work extra hard for you to correct the grammar errors, and story flow.
I can't say I have been 100% successful, but from my first starting some four years ago, I think I have made some progress in learning some of the more basic concepts of grammar. I can't say I know when and where to put a comma or a period in, or break to a new paragraph. I'm sure one of you will hopefully let me know so I can correct them.
I have looked at my story stats, something I hadn't realized were there, and have been overwhelmed by the number of reader download and votes.
They have been as I said overwhelming positive, with only a very small handful of 1 votes, I sometimes wonder about them, as they never seem to leave a comment as to why they didn't like the story. As you have to read it all the way through before getting to the place you can vote. It makes me wonder are they gluttons for punishment. Or do they just read the first few lines then go to the end and give a bad vote.
In any case if they didn't like it without giving me feedback why bother to vote at all?
Well anyway the greater majority of you have given me high marks and I thank you. The story I hope will get better. Let me know if it does not, and just where it is weakest.
I have been trying to work on character development. If you have a character you want more development on, let me know I will work on them.
Again thanks
GD
I was looking over the post of chapter 3 and noticed I had failed to give a name to the Agricultural Research Station Director,
His name is "Doctor Stone", Doctor Rollin Stone, my friends call me 'Moss', I didn't make the connection. He went on, "As in 'A rolling stone gathers no moss', someone called me that from my grad days, and it stuck,"
GD
Well after more than a little work on this chapter I think I have it. It started out with about 20 pages and was expanded to 80, so ya I might have over done the rewrite, let me know if I did.
Again as the author any and all mistakes are mine, I didn't have any help making them, however if you want to help fix them, cut and paste the part here and send me what you think I should have said, grammar not being my strong suit.
I want to thank those still reading, and I will be expanding the story and continuing it past chapter 12, just how many more there will be, well that will depend on how well I hold up. lets hope I don't lose interest. So far that not likely to happen any time soon as the damn story is keeping my up at night wanting to written.
GD
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