46n2: Blog

Some correction on the rant I just posted, which follows the other rant. Cuz I’m ranting.

And plus, I’m not entirely sure why this is but keyboarding the word r-a-n-t, feels fuwn. Try it. Just the four letters, not the dashes.

-One of the things I was trying to achieve with the Renpy thing was… slow the fuck down, people. Check yer groove, slow down. You don’t need to be doing all things all that fucking fast. Just… slow yer roll.

And people did not like that. As expected.

I NEEDED them to obey it however. So I FORCED some slow in the accumulation and digesting of things.

When I say “needed”, I mean that the game works less best if you don’t.

Here’s an example:

In Red Dead Redemption 2, you are FORCED to slow yer roll for maybe 30-60 minutes in that opener. Your horse is in the snow. You can hear and feel the hooves. And yer annoyed, cuz you just want to “get” there. But they do not allow for that. Yer a horse, in the snow. Obey yer surroundings.

And then, they let you out of the cage and you IMMEDIATELY run amuck.

But then, you HEAR a guy. Right? Wait, what was that?

So at that point you either go back there to investigate, or you don’t. It’s up to you.

If you DO go back there? You get rewarded.

And this did not resonate with an argument I had online about that game but I know absolutely from my own experience that I then slowed my roll in Red Dead. And I started hearing all the sounds that were in there. The birds, etc. The plants became more relevant. So did the time of day. Everything around me became a LOT more important, relevant, and REAL.

And I recognized… “my GOODNESS what a brave and courageous choice they took there,” meaning Rockstar. Will this work? This could actually cause all people to rethink everything.

Nope. I’m a dope.

All it got was complaints. Just like what I mostly now ever get - having lost my mind completely at this point.

Slow. Yer. Roll.

bitch

Adding to my prior rant.

What the hell am I talking about?

I’m talking about what’s best for US. As opposed to what might be best for any individual in particular. Cuz I don’t care about individuals. Except for in the muchiness of all of us. You know, how individual Z has that sorta unqualifiable thing that all of us want so we think about it hard and in the end we’re… not one-celled animals anymore?

I’m about that. 46n2.

In between my last story post and this I went ahead and developed a Video Game. You know, a TnA Renpy thing. I spent about a year going into Daz from the ground up. How is this done, exactly? And I enjoyed all that doing.

I was so excited (or possibly even desperate given a year of diligent crushing upon) to release what I had been working on and then… it got eaten by asshats.

I absolutely made it clear at GO that the entire project would perpetually remain entirely free (nope, no Patreon). All I might want in return is some sort of frank discussion on things and some back and forth gobbly gook. Rather than that, I fielded 90% complaints. And not complaints about structure or intent, conceptuals, even visuals - mostly just, “of 100 different options I would most prefer selection 47” “or I would want 26” “or why the hell isn’t it 93?” You suck!! Etc.

So what the hell is that?

Oh, I know what it is.

It’s 10 years of having a phone in yer hand while you cross the street hitting “what I want” buttons.

IS that good for us?

Does anyone really think that’s good for us? Do you think about, at all, what it might be like to get whatever the hell you want without any effort whatsoever. And if that were true for everyone else around you. Would there actually be ANY of anything?!

There wouldn’t.

No one would bother to go down to the water and fish. Or pick the lettuce. Or even think to grow it for christ sakes. We’d all be dead.

And THAT.

Is what we’re going to be.

Hiyaz.

I’ve got a new story (near complete but needs some trimming). And I like it very much.

Confessional booth. Mommie gets all apologetic in there until things become a bit more complete, in a sense. Sacrifice, or honesty, admittance - can often acquire great relief.

I’d clean that up and post it. If only, it wouldn’t bother my own ego more than it might help it (ego’s are often complex that way, eh).

And I’ve got maybe 50 or so other things worth posting as well that need tending to.

I don’t post them because… well, I feel like what the Internet USED to be isn’t that any more. Everyone feels entitled about their consumption of the FreeVerse now. And it’s relatively disgusting. I want this. I want that. Why can’t you gimme me and all completely as I’d like and/or prefer it.

No investment. Consumption only.

Has anyone else noticed that Music has completely gone to shit at this point? How can there not be at least ONE legitimate song that we all love and dropped during Covid? How many Vietnam songs are endlessly rewarding from that period? And not a single Covid song to hang our hat on? How is that possible? Haven’t we all needed that beyond all else?

Instead, music has been vaporized into the easiest and most likely return. Ain’t no room for invention. They literally squeeze the volume of songs into the most predetermined successful output and throw that crap out at you like dog food.

When I was young it was ridiculous to ever want to listen to your parent’s favorite music. Nowadays, the kids all want what I used to be listening to. Coincidenza? Not.

Anyways, that’s what’s happened to freedom of expression on the Internet.

Why create? Why risk anything?

There’s no reward.

For every individual that actually takes the time to say, ‘That was really enjoyable for me, and here’s why’. There are 100 (or more) asshats dropping memes or turds with the onerous intent of simply being noticed themselves. And it’s fucking gross.

Here’s another sideways comparison: Atlas Shrugged.

So, if anyone here has/n’t read that. What happens is, all the creative types who’ve become so completely disgusted with the world (that’s absolutely headed the way we are heading right now for reals), ultimately decide… to disappear.

Poof. They’re out.

Adios.

Becuz… why create for thieves?

Ya know?

Fuck it. Eat rice, bitch.

So… can anyone out there give me a reason that I’m wrong?

Please. I’m begging you.

So that’s a wrap on Mrs. Robinson. Or her direct involvement anyway. I’m gonna miss her.

We’ve got one chapter left to deliver, however. Cuz, you know, Howard’s got a Mom he’s gonna have to handle. Some of us have shitty Moms and some of us enjoy some exceptional ones. Some have ones that try not to matter all that much and some have ones that only interefere. Howard might have one who’s all those things at once, eh. Would you like to have her as your own?

Get on it then.

-I feel I may have done right enough by our favorite next door neighbor. That was a tough task. A big ask. She’s a whole lotta woman and I’m just a dude, so. I kept my ears open and let her lead the way. Maybe I could work to illustrate it more poetically but she asked me not to do that. ‘Give it to them directly. Not too much tin foil’. So that’s what we’ve done. For the most part.

Even still. Would Mrs Robinson really tell me if I sucked at something? Probably not.

-I’m satisfied with the way results play out in Chapter V to completion; thematically. It feels like a reasonably fair landing zone. Perhaps a very light tip of the cap to Hitchcock, eh. And here’s to Tippi Hedren, btw. Cheers.

That should post within a week.

Hope you enjoyed the trip. Please do say so if that’s true.

A little bit more pleased with this one than I was Chapter II (in verbiage, or flow). We’re shifting things to some degree here. That might turn a few of you off. If it does? The ball will come back in the following chapter. For others it might be a welcome inclusion or shift in focus (again though, we’re not at all discarding what’s happened before it).

Chapter IV is gonna be a doozy. I’m not much looking forward to that. It’s gonna need to be real good. Cuz if it isn’t, then I’ve not done right by Mrs Robinson at all. And that will bother me. Plenty.

Chapter V has nearly been completed. I just need to meld in a lead to that conclusion but can’t really do that until I tackle Chapter IV. It’s a thematically exciting finish, if I may say so myself. So we got that workin' for us.

-I’m catching my groove just a little bit here (maybe). There are two other stories I should post to SOL soon. One has been mostly in the can for a couple years now but it’s good enough I need to touch up some spots and meld it together at one point. I really love it. I think it’s some of my best work (under this name or any other). Hope you may as well. The other is an interesting departure or idea I haven’t quite tackled previously and I might find that very exciting. It’ll be a challenge though. Looking forward to it. Cuz some challenges are more fun than others, eh.

And there’s one series idea beyond that I came up with recently, might be a real hoot to write and read and could have legs for a long, loooooong time.

Some other stuff I’ve got laying around that probably ought to see the light of day. Needs some encouragement on a reasonably efforted level. But that part’s up to you all.

-cheers