Chapter 3

Mike was lucky to get a full two year lease on the small office on Sunset Blvd. for a low rental rate chiefly because it was not suited to any business other than shoe-shining and shoe repair. He was given the green light to rip out the antiquated fit-up partitions and the owner even paid for the materials to put the property into a conventional office rental unit. The furniture he was able to lease from a used office furniture business providing he picked it up himself and returned it at the end of the lease period or paid the reduced residual price. All in all the cost of setting up the office was minimal and he knew it was a good deal for his type of business.

He got cards with his name and a phone number and the office location and advertised in the phone book and also in the newspaper that covered most of the sprawling urban area. He even visited the studios and left his cards with the public relations people who tried to keep the "dirty linen" under wraps so the studio maintained a wholesome front to the general public.

His first client was a gay male leading actor who was being blackmailed by his ex-live-in boyfriend. He had threatened to reveal all to the tabloids if he didn't get a hefty payoff from either the studio or the actor. It was a typical sort of scam that the stars got into all the time but this one was particularly nasty because the actor was well-known for his conservative religious views.

It was an easy case because the blackmailer was still in love with his ex-boyfriend and was easily convinced to settle for a much lower amount and a ticket to the east coast to reunite with his family. It was a win-win for "Mike Malloy, Confidential Enquiries" and he decided to get a girl full time to answer the phone and organize his cases. Since Toni was fed-up with the waitressing job he hired her immediately after nailing her right in the hallway of his tiny apartment. They were breathless but neither of them was thinking of love or a lasting relationship so it was an ideal decision.

The car was all fixed and ready for the road at the end of the month and he was able to give his landlady not only the next month's rent but also the deposit she had so generously deferred until he got on his feet. The fee he got from the studio was still sitting comfortably in his bank account and he was already started on three new cases involving suspicious spouses.

Mike had invested in a fairly good camera and photographic equipment because one picture of indiscretion was worth a thousand word report with juicy details. He liked to take the cases with the wives as the aggrieved party rather than the husbands checking up on a wife's infidelity. It usually was a better deal because there tended to be some delightful perks from satisfied spouses finally getting the goods on husbands reluctant to pay alimony or split assets. His most recent case was with a famous Hollywood actress whose photo of her bending over and looking over her shoulder was on almost every bus in the Los Angeles region. She was so happy with the results that she granted him his wish of her striking that very same pose as he drained his joyful manhood.

Needless to say, Toni was not too happy with his good fortune and cut him off for almost a full week. He wasn't getting rich but the money kept flowing in pretty steady and life was definitely a lot better than it had been for the past several years.

Then, he took the case from the nasty prick of a Funeral Director who insisted his wife was screwing some guy at the county morgue reputed to have a huge organ and a fetish for females with "junk in the trunk". Mike took one look at Daisy's behind and knew right away that she was prime meat for any guy obsessed with that part of the female anatomy. Even when she was wearing a form-fitting girdle she still jiggled when she walked and drew male eyes wherever she went.

It was relatively easy to get the photos of the Funeral Director's wife with her ankles locked around Joe's neck right in the back of the official county hearse used for transporting stiffs from the scene of demise to the morgue. Only this time, Joe was using it as a mobile brothel to drive home his point of view right between Daisy's nylon-encased legs. The photo came out sharp and clear in black and white and the husband was so angry he slammed down an expensive casket cover so hard it looked like he broke it.

That was the beginning Mike's L.A. problems.

A week later in the newspaper, he read that the wife had "gone missing" and the bereaved husband was seen at a local dive with two blondes on his arms celebrating his new-found freedom. Mike thought long and hard and decided it was not his business to report anything to the police because it would all be pure speculation and he did not want to bring unwanted attention to his own sweet racket of providing "confidential information".

He was surprised when two goons showed up at the office and gave Toni a hard time about needing all the negatives of the wife's indiscretion. He took time to put the negatives into a silver cigarette case and put it in hock at a nearby three-ball emporium. Then he took the ticket stub and put it inside the little slit in the lining of his shoe for important shit like microdots and hock receipts.