Less than two weeks, that's all it was. Less than two weeks since Pete called me from work and told me we were having a guest for dinner. Less than two weeks, since Pete told me that it was the night we might have that threesome we had fantasised about.
I had been watching some daytime TV, one of my breaks from housework when I got the call. Incidentally, I had thought about preparing something special for dinner anyway, for no other reason than I love Pete. It wasn't difficult to stretch what I had already started preparing for one extra, I always cook too much anyway. My mind was reeling from the thought, a threesome, to me it was only a fantasy something we played at, a fantasy to spice up our sex life, I had never really thought Pete would actually make it happen.
When they came in I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. David was big, I mean he was tall, he towered over me. He is definitely good looking, and charismatic to boot. He was not a "butch" man, he did not come across as an overly macho bull, but as a genuinely nice guy. We soon became at ease with each other and established a good rapport between the three of us. I found myself rapidly warming to the idea of a threesome. I soon decided if we were going to do this, then I could think of no other man I would rather Pete and I shared our bed with, with the obvious exceptions of Brad Pit, Johnny Depp and possibly Christian Bale.
After dinner I cleaned things away and set the dishwasher going, a half hour later we were upstairs and I was expanding my sexual repertoire, the pair of them making love to me was mind-blowing. When David went down on me it was so different from Pete, and as for when I went down on him, well it was a whole new experience, need I say more.
I did wonder as I fell to sleep later, entwined in both their arms whether we shouldn't have done this, I knew we should never repeat it. I knew also that a door had been opened. I knew then it was a door that should have remained closed, I knew that, simply because I wanted David again.
I realised I am at the Farmers Inn, I had driven there on autopilot, memories of that fateful Friday night, are inter-spaced with excuses for justifying what I was about to do. Excuses, not reasons I know. Cheating is wrong, I had always been firm on that, but the carrot had been dangled in front of me. That big juicy carrot.
Lust and shame inflamed me as I walked up to the hotel room. I paused outside, my thoughts bouncing around in my head, trying again and again to rationalise, justify and ultimately pass the buck, the responsibility.
It was Pete's fault I was here. If Pete hadn't kept pressurising me to agree to a threesome. If Pete hadn't found someone as good looking as David. If Pete hadn't found such a good lover. If Pete hadn't brought him round to meet me. If Pete hadn't fed me so much wine that night, and mostly if Pete hadn't pushed me into allowing David into our bed.
Again, it was Pete, that pushed me into blowing David, into pushing to get more of him down my throat, I did my best, but didn't come close to all of it. It was Pete that wanted me to swallow as David came in my mouth, something I had never done before. It was however, all me, all my idea to savour it, to experience the flavour, the texture, as I rolled it around in my mouth before I swallowed it.
Pete had been an animal that night, we all had. The next day however was different, once David had left, guilt and remorse replaced the animal lust that had consumed us. Pete felt guilty for pushing me into it, I was feeling guilty, as it was obvious to us both I had spent much of the time favouring David, but we both agreed it was because he was the novelty.
"I'll never put you in that position again." Pete had promised me.
Part of me was disappointed, I had really enjoyed the experience, letting Pete control me like that, had been wonderful, sucking David to completion that first time had just been so fulfilling. I can't remember what my reply was but we set about getting our lives back to normality.
I tried, but not hard enough. I should have tried harder but it was Pete's fault for making me do it, and now Pete was forbidding me to repeat it. I tried again and again to put it out of my mind, I really did, but now there was a hole in me, a hole that needed to be filled.
Okay, fair enough, it wasn't Pete's fault that David and I bumped into each other a week later, perhaps I would have done better if we hadn't. It wasn't Pete's fault we had exchanged phone numbers, that I think is the point where I started to cross the line.
I couldn't blame Pete for choosing David to play with, he is intelligent interesting and charming. It really wasn't in me to blame Pete for David inviting me to an illicit liaison, and I couldn't in all honesty blame Pete when I accepted.
Standing outside the door I raise my hand nervously ready to knock. I furtively look around, worried I might be seen. My heart is pounding, with fear, excitement or anticipation I don't know, all I knew was the sound of the blood pounding in my ears.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked
The door opened and David smiled at me.
I felt myself blushing as I smiled back.
He stepped back.
"Come in Jamie." said David, softly.
Without a word I stepped inside.
I stand silently, I look around the room, at the ceiling, at the floor, anywhere but at David. I know I shouldn't be here.
"Here" his voice causes me to look at him, he holds out a glass of sparkling wine. "I thought this may help you relax."
I take it from him, the thankyou I try to say stalls in my throat. I only manage a choked off grunt.
David reached over and took my hand in his.
"If you have changed your mind." he whispers.
I find myself responding to his touch, he is only holding my hand, but it reassures me, I know I want to be here, I know I want him.
.... There is more of this story ...