--The time has come, Amy and Gary's wedding day is here, join them for the ceremony, reception and honeymoon.

So the big day is finally upon us, well not quite, but it's not far over the horizon, this coming Saturday in fact. As most of our friends live away we've not had a stag or hen do, instead the night before the wedding Gary, his dad and Geoff will be having a meal and drinks in a hotel near the wedding venue, and the twins Jackie & Julie, Pixie, Tina, Jade & I will be having a few drinks at our house.

The wedding itself is taking place in an estate near Cartmel, we were going to get married in Cheshire but the venue was already booked by some footballer, so Geoff spoke to a friend who has leant us their country house for the wedding, reception and hotel for the night.

Jackie and Jade (we'll always know her as Jade, although we have to call her Lady Jasmine in public) then swung into action, using their contacts to arrange the catering, drinks, marquee etc. I'm not sure who is in league with the big guy upstairs, but somebody pulled some strings to arrange fantastic weather, it was warm without being too hot, with a light breeze forecast for the day, as the boys (including Jackie as Best Man) would be in dress suits with a top hat, I didn't want it to be too hot or they'd be sweating like pigs.

Anyway it's Wednesday today, and I've got my final dress fitting. Pixie and a couple of her friends have been making my dress, and as she's been living with us until her new house is habitable, she's been storing and working on the dress in her bedroom, next to ours.

I'm a traditional girl at heart, and I don't want Gary to see the dress until the day, I want to see his reaction as I walk down the aisle (well the garden) and he gets a look at me in the dress for the first time. This has made things a little awkward, but I've managed to keep Gary out of the way when trying the dress on so far. So today, after months of work by the girls, my dress is finished, I've sent Gary to his mum's for the evening so I can try it on properly, walk about for a bit, see it outside in daylight.

Pixie took the mirror off the wall and put it outside, her friends Alice and Emily helped me into the dress, did I tell you it's stunning?

The dress is pearl white, we'd originally decided to avoid white, as I'm a long way from being a virgin, for a while we were going for electric blue, but Emily found some beautiful cream lace, and then mum gave me her dress and insisted that I was to reuse whatever fabric I liked from it, so that's my something old. The bodice and skirt are made from the fabric of my mum's dress, the skirt finishes just below my knee, I wouldn't have it any longer. It only has a single shoulder strap, over my left shoulder, this is to show of the tattoo on my right shoulder. The bodice is decorated in the cream lace, Alice hand-made a dozen little silk roses which are dotted around the bodice. In a nod to tradition Emily made a short train from silk and lace, it doesn't touch the floor, but Pixie can hold it as I walk down the aisle. To finish off the outfit Pixie made me some ballet slippers out of the last of the silk.

Outside, in the sunshine, I have to admit I looked gorgeous. On the day Tina would be doing my make-up and hair, and I'll look even better. Even though I do say so myself, I could be dangerously attractive on Saturday.

Thursday morning ramped the excitement level up a notch or two, I got a call to say my new car was ready whenever I was. Wasting no time at all, Gary, Pixie and I jumped in the car and sped south, towards Bentley heaven.

The car looked better in the flesh than I could have ever imagined, the Light Sapphire was simply the perfect colour for the Continental. It's funny how different colours show off different aspects of a shape, in this shade of blue, when the sun catches the rear third the car looks so much more aggressive, the rear wheel arches more accentuated. I do believe the car is turning me on, oh dear I'm turning into Top Gear.

Anyway, we spent some time at the dealers whilst they showed us how to work the various bits and bobs, like the electronic seat memories, which is ace, select the driver and the seat moves forward and up, the back changes shape and it's heated or cooled, all to suit the driver's preference. This seat alone probably cost more than a Ford Fiesta. The Naim stereo is astonishing, over 1000w of amplification through 15 speakers, and pumped up very loud indeed the sound was as clear as a bell, beautiful.

After a couple of hours and a superb cup of coffee I emptied the loaner of a month's worth of accumulated crud, CDs, toffee wrappers, makeup, receipts and transferred them to our nice shiny new car, then with a wave to Mark the salesman we headed off back home, via the nearest petrol station of course. It's amazing, you spend the best part £200k (the price before trade-in was £189,500) on a car and they still only put a thimble-full of fuel in the tank.

I'd just parked the car at home when my phone rang, it was Geoff reminding me that he'd be in the country Friday afternoon, with Jackie and Julie, who along with Pixie and Tina were sleeping at our house Friday night, Geoff had a room in some hotel in Grange. Gary would be staying with his mum & dad at the wedding venue.

Thursday I started to panic, for no reason at all really, but I suddenly remembered what every married woman I've spoken to recently has said, that planning a wedding is a nightmare, more stressful than a divorce is what one woman said. I've had no stress though, it's gone like a dream, so the little devil in my right ear piped up on Thursday afternoon reminding me that planning a wedding isn't supposed to be this easy, something must be wrong.

Thursday afternoon then was spent phoning everybody involved, checking that everything is running to plan, I got out my notepad and wrote lists, then ticked off the lists, and by the end of the day my phone battery was flat, but every item on the list was accounted for.

That little devil is a bastard, I can just see him now, laughing is little devil arse off for making me panic.

Friday though was stressful, because there was so much to do in so little time. Pixie's friends Emily and Alice had to be collected from Lancaster and brought to our house, they were attending my little hen party, such a small party it was more of a chick party really. I'd booked them a room at a nearby hotel, whilst not a couple they had no problems sharing a bed for the night.

Once they were collected Gary then had to drive the Bentley to Carlisle Airport to collect Geoff and the twins, they'd flown in his jet, which was then being serviced and refuelled ready to fly to our honeymoon destination, which is still a mystery, we've just been told to pack our passports and sunny weather clothes for two weeks, nothing else needed.

Gary dropped the twins off at our house, Geoff gave me a hug and a pat on the bum and Gary took him to his hotel. Geoff would be picked up tomorrow morning by the wedding car.

After Geoff was installed in his hotel Gary's last job of the day was collecting his mum & dad and driving to the wedding venue. Gary's dad would drive our car back on Sunday, I think he was more excited about driving our Bentley than he was about his own son's wedding.

Eventually everybody was where they're supposed to be, I had some suitably girly movies lined up in my Love Film watch list, we had some popcorn, a couple of litres of Chase Gin, loads of tonic to drink with it, and a delivery due from Dominoes at 9. We were all set for a proper girly night in.

Pixie mixed a big jug of gin & tonic, I poured the popcorn in a big bowl and set the first film running. Emily pulled out her make-up bag and she started to paint our nails, toes and fingers to match. When Emily was finished Alice pulled her hairdressing kit out and set to work on everyone's hair.

I'd been wearing my hair short in a bobbed style for a couple of years, but since Christmas I'd let it grow, and now it was shoulder length and wavy. I'd also quit dyeing it, and was back to a natural redhead. Alice didn't need to do much, but she tidied me up and enhanced the body a little, she was going to weave flowers into my hair in the morning.

The first jug of G&T was quickly polished off, so Pixie made a new one. The next film started, but we'd not really taken any notice of the first one, we let this play out as well, Love Actually I think.

I was a little tipsy now, I'm such a lightweight, I couldn't help myself, as Pixie refilled my glass I pulled her towards me and kissed her full on the lips, she responded, wrapping her arms around me, accidentally cracking my head with the jug. She jumped back with a squeak and I fell forward off the sofa.

"Oh my god I've killed the bride the night before her wedding. Oh shit somebody help me."

Luckily though I wasn't dead, but Jesus my head hurt. I got up on my knees, swooning a bit, rubbing the back of my head, I was going to have a bit of a lump there.

"Amy, you're OK", cried Pixie

"Well OK's going a bit far, but I'll live. Pixie love, remind never to hug you when your hands are full. Can someone get me a cup of tea please, ahh there's no milk, sod it I'll drink it black."

Tina put the kettle on while I got to feet, still a bit wobbly, but not feeling sick, which was a relief, Jackie helped me to the sofa and Tina put a mug in my hands.

"It's camomile, I found some in the cupboard."

"I don't remember buying any camomile tea, I hope I'm not concussed" I said

"Oh it's OK, it's mine," answered Pixie.

"That's a relief then, maybe I'm not brain damaged after all," I managed a laugh. "Now girls, this is my party still, so get back to the gin."

Pixie managed to pour a hefty measure in everyone's glass without braining anyone else.

"Let's play a game," Alice said, "spin the bottle, truth or dare. I've got some question cards in my bag."

"Ok," most of us responded, so Alice got the cards out of her bag and the now empty gin bottle. She placed them both on the floor and spun the bottle, it landed on Jackie, she picked a card.

"What's the longest you've gone without sex?" she read from the card. "That's easy, 15 years, the first 15 years. Since then less than a week I'd guess."

Jackie spun the bottle, it landed on Pixie, who picked a card.

"What's the most partners you've had in one night? Ooooh that's a hard one, not during the happiest part of my life, but I remember about 10 men at a party I was booked for, divorce celebration or something, can't swear I shagged them all, but they all left happy. I'm pretty sure the new divorcee was shagging one of his mates at some point during the night though, so he'd have been happy with or without me in the room."

Pixie took her turn to spin the bottle, it landed on me, they offered to spin it again for the poorly bride-to-be but I asked for a card, Pixie passed the top card to me.

"Who was your first true love?" I read, then I thought for a while before I spoke, "My first true love, the person I first realised I truly loved. I think it was Geoff, I dated him for a year, they weren't dates to him I think, I was his escort, his employee, but to me, I was dating him, he wined and dined me no strings attached, but I grew to love him, then at last I slept with him, but if I'm honest, and I always try to be, that bit was a little disappointing, but I could have lived with that. I knew he was well off, he was paying me £500 at least once a fortnight, but I'd no idea he was a like a multi-millionaire. So yes, in all honesty Geoff was my first love, everyone before was either a casual, or more likely reluctant shag."

"Ohh that's lovely Amy," Pixie said, then she took my turn spinning the bottle, it landed on Tina, who refused to answer her question about losing her virginity, Pixie and I understood why and stopped any attempt to press her for an answer, she gamely removed her blouse as a forfeit.

She spun the bottle and it landed on Jackie, who ignored the card and just took off her t-shirt, so that was that, it turned into a game off who lost all their clothes last, I was still a bit headachey, but I managed to stand up long enough to remove my dress, which was actually all I was wearing tonight, so I won, or lost, depending on whether the objective was to strip first or last. Anyway my prize was a kiss off all the girls, which made my headache slowly recede.

Emily has a pierced tongue, and she chose to kiss my down below lips, her tongue stud did amazing things to my clit and I was soon coming with the first of what I hoped were many orgasms.

Alice helped me off the sofa and lay me on the rug, she knelt between my thighs and took over where Emily left off, lapping at my sopping pussy, pushing two fingers inside, pressing them against my g-spot. Alice jerked forwards suddenly, I looked up to see Pixie behind her, I could see a belt round her waist, clearly she'd just rammed her strap-on deep inside Alice.

Pixie started to fuck Alice, and after she'd regained her balance Alice started to work on my pussy with renewed vigour. She pushed two fingers back in my pussy and her thumb in my butt, Emily knelt down beside me and started on my boobs, which are very sensitive and soon I couldn't hold back any longer as a huge orgasm that started in both my pussy and boobs sent me completely wild. I jerked by bottom up and pushed my pussy against Alice's face, grinding my clit against her nose. I've no idea how long my orgasm lasted, but when I collapsed on the floor I was completely exhausted, but still shuddering with aftershocks.

I just lay on the rug for a while until my breathing was steady, once I'd calmed down I got up to pour myself another drink. My headache had gone completely, but when I touched the back of my head it was still tender, with a nice lump. Walking to the kitchen I wove around Pixie and Alice, Emily had taken my place on the floor. Tina was on the sofa between Julie and Jackie, they'd not met before, but that was obviously no barrier to intimacy, Tina was kissing Jackie, Julie had her lips round one of Tina's nipples and her fingers in her pussy.

I wandered on into the kitchen, still in a bit of a haze from the huge orgasm, I poured myself a drink, a long slug of gin and a splash of tonic then took it back to the sitting room, I sat in Gary's chair to survey the scene before me. I happened to glance at the TV, my films were being ignored, which is probably for the best, RomComs have never been my scene, but I honestly don't remember there being any hard-core lesbian scenes in Love Actually.

"Hey, has somebody switched the film?"

Emily lifted her head from the floor, "Yeah, I can't stand that Richard Curtis shit, so I put something a bit more exciting on, do you like the girl on the left?"

I looked back at the screen, wow the girl on the left looked just like me, but her hair was a bit longer.

"It must be like looking in a mirror for you," Emily continued.

"Yeah, she's a bit slimmer than me, but her face and hair, she's beautiful, I don't look that good do I?"

Pixie spoke up, "Yes, you're that beautiful. And Gary is going to faint when he sees you tomorrow. Come and join us?"

"No, sorry I'm bushed, you lot enjoy yourselves though whilst I just watch and drink. Gotta be up early tomorrow remember."

We turned in just after midnight, Alice and Emily didn't bother with the hotel down the road, I phoned and cancelled their room but still lost the money because I cancelled too late.

Seven girls in two beds was a squeeze to say the least, Pixie slept with her friends Alice & Emily, she had a small 4" double in her room, so they were very cosy. My bed, Julie & Jackie's old bed, is a 6" super king size, even so, with Julie, Jackie, Tina and me it was still a squeeze, especially as the three girls who aren't me are all a bit top heavy.

We all slept well though, and I woke at 6:30 clear headed and excited. I climbed out from between Jackie and Tina and put the coffee on, some of the girls may be a bit hungover, because we went through two litres of gin between us last night.

I made two big pots of coffee and started on a big stack of pancakes for breakfast then shouted everybody down, seven naked girls sat round the table eating pancakes and drinking coffee, it was like a scene from an 80's sex comedy.

Breakfast eaten, coffee drunk, pots washed. I went upstairs for a bath. Pixie was waiting, sat on the toilet (seat down, no mucky stuff here), I stepped in the bath and she washed me all over, when I was nice and clean I stepped out and Emily wrapped me in a big fluffy towel, drying me all over.

Alice was in the bedroom, she started on my hair, it was staying mostly as it was, but she added body with some nifty work with a brush and hairdryer. When Alice finished Tina stepped in and applied my make-up, the same as she'd used when we first met in Glasgow. After the make-up Alice came back and wove some flowers into my hair.

My dress was next, Emily and Alice helped me into it, when it was fastened up Alice hung a string of pearls round my neck, they were her mum's, and she's lending them to me for the day.

"Your dress fabric is your 'something old', these pearls are your 'something borrowed', so what are your 'something new' and 'something blue'?" Alice asked.

"The new is this watch, I was very naughty, it's a white gold Omega Constellation and was marked up at £20k, but I got it for a lot less than that when I showed the black Amex. Amazing isn't it, the black card shows you could probably afford to buy the whole shop, so they give you a discount. I'm paying Geoff back for this though."

"Oh that's a fantastic watch, it goes so well with the dress. Now what's the blue?"

"You saw that when you dressed me, it's the little bluebird on my left shoulder, Pixie did it last week, and I've managed to hide it from Gary, or at least he's not mentioned it."

Soon I was fully dressed, I sat there trying not to crease anything whilst I watched the girls dress each other. Just as they finished up the doorbell rang, Pixie ran down to let Dot in, she was a guest of honour, she gasped as she saw me coming down the stairs.

"Oh my, you look so much like my Annie, so beautiful, Gary is so lucky to have you."

"Thank you Dot, I'd kiss you but I don't want to spoil my make-up."

The bell rang again, it was the cars, Geoff had pushed the boat out and hired two Rolls Royce Phantoms with seating for 4 in the back, one for me, Mum, Geoff and Pixie, and one for Tina, Emily, Alice and Julie. Dot was travelling with Jackie in Pixie's Aston Martin, Jackie had to be there well ahead of me, as she is Gary's 'best man'.

It's usually about a 25 minute drive to the wedding venue, but we took our time, the wedding is at 1pm, I want to be there at 1:05 to be "fashionably late". Close to the venue the other car passes us and we waited a few minutes for the bridesmaids to get themselves sorted, then our car moved forwards, the driver hopped out and opened the door, I heard the bridal march start as Pixie stepped out first, then Geoff and Mum exited. Pixie helped me out and held my little train as I walked down the carpet of rose petals that lead round to the rear of the house.

As we rounded the corner and reached the garden I saw the guests, then I saw Jackie, she looked very smart in her suit, she looked quite sexy actually, and finally Gary, he saw me and his eyes lit up.

We slowly walked down the aisle, also carpeted with petals, between the guests, quite a few guests, more than I expected. Slowly we closed the gap between Gary and I, it was a struggle not to run the last few steps.

I had tears in my eyes as we finally stood side by side, Gary pulled out a hankie and wiped my eyes, I saw tears in his so I took the hankie and wiped his.

"You look so beautiful..."

"Don't I always?" I answered with a smile.

"Yes, but..."

"It's OK, I know what you mean."

Thirty minutes later we were man & wife, woman & husband, lover & lover. We kissed, maybe for a little too long, because the registrar gave a polite cough which brought us round.

"whoops, sorry, got carried away." I blushed.

We signed the register to make it all legal, then we skipped down the petal carpet to the sound of my favourite song in the whole world, Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins.

When we'd passed the last of the guests I held my bouquet aloft and tossed it backwards, I heard lots of people running around, some screams and cries then a cheer.

Turning around I saw Jackie looking triumphant, clutching the flowers to her bosom.

I laughed, "I don't think the best man is allowed to catch the bouquet, and pretty certain there's nowhere you can marry your partner."

"Don't be so sure, Geoff can fix anything."

"Not everything, surely?"

"Speak to you later, the photographer's waiting."

The photographer, booked by Jade / Lady Jasmine, is brilliant, she had been all but invisible during the ceremony, but she took lots of photos, she flipped through them on her laptop before the Wedding Breakfast, they were already excellent before she's done her Photoshop magic. We spent half an hour or so posing on our own, and with various groups of family and friends, she handled the groups with ease, assurance and patience, controlling the children without talking down to them, she was a very good choice and I'm sure that none of the guests would guess that her day job is taking photos of topless girls for Page 3 of The Sun.

After the group photos were finished it was time to move to the marquee for the Wedding Breakfast. Geoff had wanted to book the chef proprietor from a Michelin starred restaurant in Cartmel, we ate there once before he scarpered to Texas. The food is stunning there, but it's fussy, 27 tiny courses, each exquisite, but not ideal for a wedding, so I insisted we use the chef from Whitewell instead, proper wholesome food, well-cooked from excellent local ingredients.

We sat at the top table, with Geoff to my right, in the role of Father-of-the-Bride, and Gary on my left, the only two men I have ever truly loved. To Gary's left we have Jackie, then his parents, and to Geoff's right is my mum, then Pixie, my best friend and Chief Bridesmaid. At the end of the table is Dot, in the role of my grand-mother.

On the tables in front of us are the 80 invited guests. On the closest table I can see Julie, Tina, Emily, Alice and Jasmine, the rest of the bridesmaids. Dave, mum's partner, was seated on that table and the poor man just didn't know where to look. Around the other tables are many of Gary's extended family, some I've met before, some are new to me. There's about 20 people from work with their partners. I don't have much family, just mum and Uncle Tony and his wife Auntie Jean. It struck me that we don't have many friends, and it made me a little sad until I realised that all our friends are very good, honest friends who mean the world to us and they all helped plan the wedding in a big way.

The food was everything I'd hoped for, pate or soup to start, then roast beef and all the trimmings, Sea Bass or a mushroom and celeriac cannelloni. We'd also sorted a children's meal of Cumberland or vegetarian sausage, mash and beans. The wines were stunning, Geoff had pushed the boat out here and sorted a couple of wines that were simply sensational, both New World wines, the red Wolf Blass Black Label from Australia, and the white Cloudy Bay from New Zealand. For the kids we served Vimto and Appletise.

After the food was polished off the Champagne was produced to toast the happy couple, at this point the older kids were very excited, because they got a glass of Bollinger just like their parents. Geoff made the toast.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, please raise your glasses in toast to Gary and Amy.

"I first met Amy about 3 years ago, I don't think she'll mind me telling you that this wasn't a terribly happy point in her life, her father had passed away and she'd moved up here with her mum, away from all her friends. I'm not going into any detail, but suffice to say she was at rock bottom, but I saw that deep inside was a beautiful, kind, confident girl just desperate to crawl out. I'd like to think that I had a hand in that process, and young Gary here finished off where I left off when I had to dash away to sunnier climes.

"Amy as you see her here today is the single most beautiful, selfless and honest woman I've had the pleasure of meeting, and today it has been my great pleasure to pretend, just for a little while, to be her father, and to metaphorically hand her over to Gary.

"So just once more – Gary & Amy, the happy couple!"

The marquee was filled with the sound of clinking glasses and cries of "Gary & Amy", my eyes were filled with tears.

Now was the time for the Best Man's speech, Jackie stood, still dressed in her very sexy Hugo Boss suit, she read some of our cards then she started her speech,

"Well, now would normally be the time to tell some embarrassing stories about the groom, but in all honesty I can't do this, partly because Gary is a genuinely nice guy, and partly because I've only known him for about a year, and that time has been pretty free of embarrassment, so instead in a small break from tradition we're going to have a bride's speech instead of a best man's speech."

I stood up, took a long slug from my champagne, gave a small cough and began.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today, so far it's been a blast. I'd also like to give an extra special thanks to my bridesmaids, between them they've done most of the planning for today, and they made this simply stunning dress. Thirdly I'd like to give a massive thank you to my pretend dad, Geoff, he's paid for everything today, and made me the woman I am, he taught me how to behave in polite company and which knives and forks to use.

"I've not forgotten mum, she had a tough time after dad died, we had hardly any money and had to up sticks because we could no longer afford to live in our own house. Luckily Uncle Tony had a spare house, like you do, so we moved into that, the next 12 months is known to only a few, and I'm sure many of my former teachers in the room have a good idea what happened, but today isn't about the bad times, it's about the good. First I met Geoff and he dragged me back to my feet, and helped me out above and beyond the call of duty, then a chance encounter at work brought Gary into my life, he gave me a reason to carry on, and together we have a chemistry that is magical, which is why you're all here today, listening to me droning on.

"Anyway, I've said enough, so enjoy the rest of the afternoon, there's a playground for the kids, with a bouncy castle that you can't use until I've had a try, for the adults there's a bar, not free I'm afraid, but it's a bar, and there's pool and snooker tables, TV's, ohh, there's allsorts to keep you amused for a few hours whilst the tables and chairs are taken away, and a DJ is installed. By the way, I'm sure the dads will enjoy watching the DJ if they don't like the music, she's very pretty.

"So, go and have fun and we'll see you back here at 8, and remember, I'm first on the bouncy castle."

I got a long round of applause then I sat down whilst everyone dispersed, I turned to Gary, "Was that OK?"

"It was more than OK, it was just like you, beautiful."

We kissed for a long time, when I came up for air I saw Jackie leaving the marquee, I called her over, we were the only people left, so I thought she'd talk.

"So, what were you on about before?"

"What do you mean?"

"About Geoff being able to fix everything..."

"Oh that, me & Julie are going to get married, it won't be legal, but he's found a way, we can have a kind of civil partnership in Vegas, it'll give us no rights, but I want to marry the woman I love. Tell no-one about this."

"Your secret is safe with me, now get yourself outside and have some fun."

"I'm joining you on the bouncy castle."

There was quite a queue of kids waiting to go on the bouncy castle, a ribbon had been tied across the entrance stopping them all charging forwards. The lad in charge passed me a pair of scissors so I could ceremonially open the castle, I cut the ribbon and jumped straight aboard, flinging myself around like a 5 year old.

Jackie removed her shoes and jacket and joined me, she was soon followed by about a dozen small kids, all intent on knocking me over. It was great fun, if a little painful at times.

After a couple of minutes I called it quits and rolled off to cries of chicken from the kids, Jackie followed me, stopping to retrieve her jacket and shoes, which we carried back to the house where we found Julie and Gary. We chilled for a while in the bar before we resumed mingling with the guests, just before 8pm I walked over to the marquee to see how it was shaping up for the evening. A stage had been set up in place of the top table, the DJ had arrived, a model friend of Jasmine's called Melissa, she just was finishing setting up. We also had a band that we'd bussed in from the school.