"Yes, yes ... oh God," she screamed.
I smiled as I heard her grab on to the headboard in sheer ecstasy. Her body writhed wildly and I had to be careful not to get kneed in the face as my tongue darted in and out of her slit then slithered up and down the folds of her magnificent pussy. I surrounded her stiff little clitoral button with my lips and ever-so-lightly nipped at it with my teeth, causing her to fill our bedroom with shrill screams of pleasure.
I don't think there was any limit to the number of orgasms I could give her with my talented, oral manipulations. At least I never found one. I had been going strong for almost an hour; she was on her fourth or fifth climax, maybe it was her sixth, I'd lost count. All I knew for sure was my tongue was getting tired and I had yet to get off. It was time to slip inside this passionate creature. I lifted myself and moved into position.
With pure, animalistic lust, Britney released her grip from above her head and reached down to guide my rock hard love tool into the soft, wet confines of her vaginal walls. Every thrust produced sounds of rapture emanating from my loving wife. After a little while, I knew she was on the edge yet again, but this time so was I. With a final push my entire body tightened as we both came together in orgasmic bliss. For a brief moment I'd sworn that the world ceased to exist for anyone but my Britney and me.
As we lay in each other's arms, trying to regain a normal breathing pattern, I thought back to when I was a teenager and how I thought sticking my tongue into a girls snatch was gross. Thank goodness for Stan, my older brother, and the lectured he gave me, decreeing just how stupid that kind of thinking was. Had it not been for him, I doubted I would be lying next to my loving bride.
I met Britney in college when a friend of mine pointed her out to me in the book store. He said he'd never seen anyone who enjoyed being eaten like she did. He was sure she preferred it to intercourse.
You can imagine how my ears perked up. Since that talk with my brother, I practiced every chance I got and considered myself an aficionado in the art of cunnilingus.
It took three dates before I was invited to demonstrate my expertise; it was well worth the wait ... for both of us. My buddy was right; she enjoyed it like no one I'd ever known. From that night on, neither of us dated anyone else. We were perfect for one another, not only in the bedroom but in our everyday likes and dislikes as well. We fell in love and were married the year after graduation.
Four years later here we were, exhausted after enjoying one another with the same intensity we had on that first night. I smiled to myself and pulled her tighter into my body as we slipped into dreamland.
After experiencing the fifth worst winter in its history, the entire Midwest was looking forward to spring. Britney and I were certainly no exceptions. She couldn't wait to starting working on her famous tan and I was anxious to get out to the course and hit that little white ball around. Unfortunately, it was only the first Saturday of April and neither was possible yet. The temperature was still in the forties and half the streets were flooded from the melting snow.
After breakfast, Brit and I decided, since we couldn't do much else, it was a good time to clean the garage. It was late in the afternoon and we were both getting tired when Bruce, my best friend, neighbor, and golf partner popped in with a six-pack.
"Hey you guys, I saw you out here working hard and thought it was time for a break," he said handing Britney and I a bottle.
We both thanked him and agreed. We went into the kitchen and sat at the table for a well-deserved rest and some conversation. Bruce started it.
"You guys aren't the only ones getting a jump on spring cleaning. I saw Dottie doing the same thing over at her place this morning."
"No kidding," Britney remarked, "how's she doing?"
"Okay, I guess. She did say she still missed Bill a lot."
"Oh of course; hell, they spent half a century together. I'm sure she'll miss him until she joins him," said Britney.
"What was she doing at the house?" I asked. "Is she moving back in?"
"No, she was getting it ready for the new tenants. She's got it rented out again."
"Oh no, she doesn't; to who this time?" I asked.
"I don't know. All she said was that they were a young couple."
"God, I hope they're not like that last jackass she rented to," Britney interjected.
"Yeah," responded Bruce, "those fricken dogs of his kept me up half the night, all the time."
"You're not the only one, they kept the whole damn neighborhood up," I said with a slight tinge of anger as I remembered back a few months.
We lived in a nice quiet area of Arlington Hills, about fifteen miles northwest of Chicago. Britney's dad gave us the money for the down payment on our house as a wedding gift. It didn't take long for us to make friends and we've been very happy since the day we moved in.
The one fly in the ointment was the Tolliver house. Bill and Dottie Tolliver had the smallest house around for blocks. It was only a two bedroom with one dinky bathroom, barely what you'd call a starter home, but they were an older couple, their kids were all off on their own, so it was fine for them.
Well, much to everyone's shock, one day Bill fell over in his front yard with a massive heart attack. They were a nice couple and the whole neighborhood was praying he'd make it but it was not to be. Dottie didn't want to live there alone so she moved in with her daughter and son-in-law and put the house up for sale. The problem was nobody wanted a place that small, so after it had been on the market for a year without so much as a nibble, she started to rent it out.
Her first tenant was a young woman, not bad looking but a little stand-off-ish. She was only there a few months when she decided she didn't like our winters and moved back south to somewhere in Tennessee.
Next came the asshole. His name was Bobby, not Bob, Bobby. He had two dogs that he kept in the back yard and they did nothing but bark and howl all night long. He also had two or three girlfriends and a host of drinking buddies that would come and go until the wee hours of the morning. He didn't even try to fit in around here and I don't think anyone in the neighborhood liked him. He finally moved out just before winter and the place had been standing empty since then; until now, apparently.
"Did she say if they were from around here?" asked Brit.
"Nope, she was just finishing up by the time we talked. She looked like she was anxious to get going so I didn't want to hold her up."
"When are they supposed to move in? Did she say?" Britney asked.
"No," Bruce answered, "but the way she talked I'm sure it'll be soon."
Just then we heard a knock at the front door and Bruce's wife, Cathy, poked her head in. "Anybody home?"
"Yeah," Britney yelled, "we're in the kitchen."
With the rotten weather we'd been having we hadn't seen each other for a little while so there was more than enough gossip to catch up on and before we knew it, it was time for dinner. I ordered a pizza and it was well into the night by the time they left.
Two weeks later I was coming home from work on a Friday night and looking forward to the first warm weekend in a long time. I worked as an account rep, for a fastener company. We made specialty screws, nuts, and bolts to the customer's specifications. I had the largest territory in the company and there was always some crisis popping up here or there; it was the nature of the business. There were days I felt like pulling my hair out but the job paid well and it looked like there was a future to be made there so every day I gave it my best.
As I passed by the Tolliver house I saw a U-haul truck in the drive. Well, I thought, I guess we're about to meet our new neighbors.
Britney worked in the office of an insurance company and got off at four so she was already home and greeted me with her usual hug and kiss. We didn't have any particular schedule for making love but Friday nights were always a given. I could tell by the tongue action she gave me that Britney was looking forward to it as much as I was.
I followed her into the kitchen to help with dinner and my eyes instantly fixed on what was sitting in the middle of the table.
"Mmmmm, pineapple upside down cake; what's the occasion?"
"No occasion," she said pulling something out of the fridge. "Business was slow so I got off of work a little early today and thought I'd use the time to do something nice for my man. Besides, you're going to need the sugar rush for tonight."
I looked over and she had this mischievous little grin on her face. I've seen that look many times before and knew I was in for one hell of a night.
"I'll get started on the potatoes if you want to chop up the stuff for the salad," she said.
"Deal," I replied. I figured the faster we ate the faster we could get down to business. "Did you see the U-haul over at Dottie's place?"
"Yes, I did. We should probably go over there tomorrow and welcome them to the neighborhood, maybe bring them a bottle of wine or something."
"I suppose. I didn't see any dogs running around the yard, did you?"
She chuckled. "No, no dogs, all I saw was the truck."
"Yeah, me too; we still have a bottle of that blackberry wine down stairs, we'll take that. I haven't found anyone yet that doesn't like that stuff."
"Yeah, that'll be fine, honey."
"Maybe Bruce and Cathy would like to come along."
"They won't be home, remember; they left for her folks place in Wisconsin. They took off just before you got home. They'll be gone the whole weekend."
Since Britney mentioned it, I did remember them telling us that. Oh well, I thought, Brit and I would just have to do the welcome wagon thing by ourselves.
After dinner we took our cake and a cup of coffee out to the living room to eat while we watched a little TV. It didn't take long before Britney undid the buttons on my shirt and slipped her hand inside to rub my chest. I put my arm around her as she snuggled into my body. After a minute or so I felt her hand leave my chest and travel southward. She unzipped me then unbuckled my pants. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt her sneak under the elastic of my shorts.
My body inadvertently jumped and I leaned my head back against the couch when I felt her fingernails scrape along the tightly stretched skin of my erection.
"Oooh," she cooed softly into my ear, "is my baby enjoying himself?"
"Oh yeah," I sighed.
I felt my lovely wife slide her body down to the floor. She took a hold of my trousers, I lifted my hips and within seconds I could feel the cool leather of the couch under my bare ass and the air hitting my prominently displayed hard-on.
My breathing became more ragged in anticipation. I let out an involuntary groan as I felt her tongue start from the very bottom of my balls and slowly lick her way to the top of my cock. I felt the warmth of her precious mouth as it engulfed me.
Over the next few minutes she teased using her lips, her teeth, and her tongue to drive me to the very brink but not over the top.
I sat consumed by a euphoric fog.
"Don't move," she whispered. "I'll be right back ... and don't open your eyes."
Her short absence gave me just enough time for a thousand questions to run through my mind. What was she up to?
Before I could begin to guess she was back. I felt something wet and cold surrounding my dick. I couldn't take it; I open my eyes to see what she was doing.
There knelt my cherished wife taking slices of pineapple and sliding them down my cock. She looked at me and giggled as she started to nibble away. The sensation was too much. I exploded, spewing cum into the air only to have it fall back down and mix with the sweet juices of the sequestering fruit.
Britney never missed a beat as she savored the erotic cocktail. By the time she was done with her dessert I was hard again. "Sorry," she said looking up at me and wrapping her fingers around my love pole, "but you're all sticky. There's no way you're putting that in me until we get you washed up. Come one," she said pulling my pants completely off so I could walk.
I follower her upstairs where we both hopped into the shower. Britney and I were staunch supporters of water conservation. To us it made no sense to shower alone.
I let my hands glide up and down Britney's luscious body, building her feminine body wash into a slippery, sensual lather. She turned and backed into me, reaching around with her hands and pulling me closer. She laid her head back on my shoulder with a sigh as my hands skated along the silky smooth, slick flesh of the woman I loved. Before running out of hot water, we had slipped, slithered, and slid each other to an earth shattering climax.
Once we dried one another off, we headed for the comfort of our bed. I came two more times, who knows how many times Britney came. I glanced at the clock as we snuggled together in preparation of a good night's sleep; it was past two in the morning.
The next day started much like the night before ended. I couldn't believe the morning woody I had after coming four times just a few hours before, but there it was, standing proudly.
It didn't go unnoticed by the vision of loveliness lying next to me either. Britney cooed into my ear as her left hand felt its way to my tent pole. She obviously awoke as wet as I did hard because within a few seconds she straddled my hips and lowered herself with ease. Brit leaned forward with a big grin, placed her hands on my chest, and started to rock back and forth. Within minutes we reached ecstasy together.
After we showered, dressed, and ate, I think we both felt like we could lick the world. We were a truly happy couple.
"So, what do you think ... you ready to go over and meet our new neighbors?" asked Britney as we finished a late breakfast.
"Yeah, why not," I replied. "Let me get the wine and we'll take off."
Britney took my arm as we strolled along the sidewalk to the end of the block. I was a little surprised when I saw them still moving things in from the trailer. Maybe they need some help, I thought. As we got a little closer I had second thoughts about helping them.
"What the..." I said quietly enough so only Brit could hear me.
She gave me a slight poke in the ribs as if to say, 'don't judge a book by its cover, ' but these two didn't look like anyone I would include into my circle of friends. The guy had long black stringy hair. There were several gold rings that traveled up the outside of his left ear and both earlobes had a hole in them the size of a dime. There was yet another gold ring protruding from his left eyebrow and he seemed to have tattoos everywhere.
The girl standing next to him was almost as bad with rings sticking out of her lip and eyebrow. She also had a small stud through her nostril. She was covered a little more than him but I was sure she had her share of tattoos as well. What a pair, I thought.
I was thinking about turning around and walking back to the house but my friendly wife killed my plan.
"Hi," she greeted them with a cheery voice and an outstretched hand. "My name is Britney, this is my husband, Taylor. We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood."
"Hi, I'm Skip," he said shaking Brit's hand first then extending the courtesy to me. "This is Joy."
In spite of his appearance, he seemed like a friendly enough guy. I did have a problem with summing people up based solely on their looks sometimes. I considered it a character flaw and something I had to work on. No time like the present.
"We brought you a little house warming gift," I said with a smile. I presented him with the bottle of wine.
"Ah, we don't really like wine," he stated. "Why don't you keep it."
Okay ... yeah, sometimes I rush to judgment based on people's looks, but sometimes first instincts are the best. I didn't consider his rebuke of our gift very sociable. Even if they didn't like wine he could have taken it, said thanks, and poured down the drain after we left.
"Oh, okay," I said in a tone that wasn't all that cordial. "Then I guess we'll enjoy it ourselves over dinner tonight."
Britney tried to be gracious and strike up a conversation but they acted like we were bothering them so we said our goodbyes and left after only a few minutes.
"I wonder if Dottie even meets any of these people before she rents out her house to them." Britney said on the way back to our place.
"Good question, I doubt it."
As far as I was concerned, I didn't need any more contact with our new neighbors and I knew Britney felt the same way.
By May first, winter was just a bad memory. The trees were budding, the birds were singing, and golf season was upon us. The street was just starting to glow from the cresting sun as I drove over to Bruce's house. He was all smiles as I popped my trunk so his golf bag could keep mine company on the way to the course.
"Hey Pal, what a beautiful morning for a round a golf," he said.
"Yeah, let's hope you feel the same way when we're done," I joked.
"So, did you meet the new neighbors yet?"
"Oh yeah; Britney and I went over there with a bottle of wine when they first moved in. The guy told us to drink it ourselves."
"He did? Was he joking?"
"No he wasn't joking. The guy's a jackass. Even Britney didn't like them and you know her, she likes everybody."
"Huh, they seemed alright to me. You just don't like all the piercings and tattoos."
"No, it wasn't that, they were rude. I was going to offer to help them carry some of the furniture in but changed my mind when we tried talking to them."
"They were probably just tired, or maybe they'd just had a fight or something."
"Possibly," I responded, "but they sure haven't gone out of their way to be friendly. I haven't seen them since we went over there."
"I don't know, maybe they're embarrassed by the way they acted. Cathy and I ran into them in the store the other day and they seemed friendly enough then. We talked for quite a while."
"Maybe they were tired, like you said. So, Brucy old buddy, same as last year? Loser buys the beer?" I asked, changing the subject.
It was so nice to get out on the course again. The crappy winter made us appreciate the beautiful weather all that much more. There was still a little fog in the air as we approached the first tee so we waited a couple minutes for it to lift. When it did there were three deer crossing the fairway, not thirty yards in front of us. Neither Bruce nor I played very well but we didn't care, it was just great to be out there.
On the way home Bruce asked if I was going to have a Memorial Day party. Britney and I started throwing a back yard Bar-B-Que, slash party about three years ago and it's become kind of a tradition. Between neighbors, friends, and relatives we had over forty people at the last one.
"Yeah," I answered. "We haven't really talked about it but I don't see why not."
"Alright," he said with a big smile, "I'll have Cathy call Brit and see how we can help.
Over the next couple of weeks Britney and I started to make plans. Bruce and Cathy were over as we were going through the list of invitees.
"Are you going to invite our new neighbors?" asked Bruce.
"Who ... you mean the two renting Dottie's place? No," I told him, "they're not on the list."
"Come on, Taylor, the whole neighborhood's going to be here. You're going to hurt their feelings if you don't invite them. Give them another chance."
I looked at Brit. She looked at me and just shrugged her shoulders.
"Okay, honey, put them on the list, what the hell."
As word got out about the party, everyone volunteered to bring a side dish, or in some cases, liquor. In the past we grilled hot dogs and hamburgers but Britney suggested we do it up right this year and get ribs. Since all we had to worry about was the main course, I agreed. Besides, it gave Brit a chance to show off her new recipe for bar-b-que sauce. Damn it was good.
Of course the Memorial Day weekend started Friday night in our bedroom. Britney was insatiable. My tongue was so tired I didn't think I'd be able to talk for days. Saturday we went to the store and picked up the ribs we had ordered for the cook-out. Sunday, Bruce and I played golf. Later that night Britney and I just took it easy knowing we had a big day ahead of us.
Monday morning I slowly opened my eyes to bright rays of sunlight streaming in through the blinds. They filled the entire room with a warm, welcoming glow. I was lying on my side, spooning my lovely wife. My left arm was draped over her shoulder but I had somehow managed to get my right arm under her pillow where it fell asleep. It was passed the tingling sensation and completely, totally dead.
It was still too early to get up so I tried to sneak my arm out from under my wife's head without disturbing her but it didn't work.
"Mmmmm," she sighed as she rolled over toward me with a big smile. "Good morning handsome."
Without trying to show her my discomfort right away, I reached over and kissed her soft lips. Her smile widened and she started to snuggle into me again.
"Ah, honey, I'm sorry but I have to get up. My arm's asleep."
"Oh," she said sitting up so I could pull it free. She laughed while I stomped around, doing my best Quasimodo impersonation while swinging my deadened arm from side to side. Damn what a miserable feeling, it was as if I had a ten pound sack of sand hanging from my shoulder.
Britney told me to come over and sit on the bed then gently massaged it back to life. By this time we were both awake so we showered and had some breakfast before starting preparations for our big soirée.
As the morning progressed, Bruce and Cathy came over with some folding chairs and card tables. Bruce helped me string up some outdoor lights in the back yard before setting up the tables and chairs while I got the grill going. Cathy pitched in, helping Britney in the kitchen. By eleven o'clock some of the early arrivals were helping to get the food laid out and by noon we had a full blown party going on.
I, of course being the head chef, was busy brushing healthy helpings of sauce on slabs of ribs and grilling them to perfection while my lovely bride acted as hostess. Terry, one of our other neighbors, had a warming vat that kept butter melted just right so you could immerse an ear of corn in it then pull it out dripping liquid gold in color. Josh, a friend of mine from work, was manning the kegs and filling everyone's glasses to the top with a frothy, frosty head. Then there was Bill, the Margarita king from down the street. Bill had learned to make Margaritas in Mexico and was now well known for his magic green concoction. I told him he should have business cards made up saying, "Have blender will travel." I had him set up at a table right in the middle of the yard for easy access.
It was about three in the afternoon and the party was going strong when my charming wife joined me for the first time in an hour or so.
"Don't blow your gasket, Taylor."
"Huh, why would I blow my gasket, what happened," I asked confused.
Britney motioned to the side with her head. My eyes followed along the imaginary route she indicated. That's when I saw our two new neighbors walking my way.
"Easy," Britney begged.
Everyone was dressed casually; after all it was the start of summer and the temperature was in the mid-seventies, but these two ... Skip had on a pair of short levis cut-offs that were riding so low on his hips you could see his pubic hair sticking out the top. He was covered with tattoos from the waist up, all of which were on full display along with the ring sticking through his left nipple. As a fashion accessory to complete his ensemble, he wore a pair of flip-flops; that was it, his entire wardrobe.
His girlfriend, Joy, had on the same kind of cut-offs except hers were even shorter. The lower part of her butt cheeks were totally exposed and the only reason you couldn't see her pubic hair was that she didn't have any. On top she wore a white tee-shirt that was tied in a knot just under her breasts. The fabric was so thin and thread-bare that both of her ring laden nipples almost poked right through it. She also had several tattoos, mostly on her shoulders and arms but the one that caught my eye was of a lizard that was partially hidden by her shorts as it appeared to be crawling down her stomach toward her pussy.
"Hey man, how's it going?" Skip asked extending his hand. "Thanks for the heads-up, this looks like a blast."
I shook hands but I just didn't like this guy. Forget all the piercings, tattoos, and lack of wardrobe etiquette; he just had a way about him that seemed snide and arrogant. I was sure I would regret letting Bruce talk me into inviting them before the end of the day.
Joy didn't say anything. She looked around and seemed bored already. Of course neither brought anything, not even a six pack which I always thought was the minimum offering when invited to a party.
"Come on, you two," Britney said taking them both by the arm, "let me introduce you around. Most of the people here live in the neighborhood."
Thankfully she led them away. I kind of kept an eye on them and was amused at some of the looks they were getting. I was sure they would be the topic of local gossip for months to come.
I had been slaving over a hot grill and nursing a couple of beers for hours before deciding it was time for a break. I think the only person who hadn't eaten yet was me anyway. I fixed myself a plate and looked around for my wife. She was sitting with a group of laughing women so I decide to settle for some manly company instead. I tracked down Bruce and pulled up a chair.
"You finally taking a break?" he asked.
"Yeah, my feet are sore from standing around."
"You see our new neighbors?"
"Yeah, I saw them as soon as they got here."
"Damn, that Joy has a sweet little body, doesn't she. I'd sure like to see where that lizard is headed," he said with a devilish tone in his voice.
I chuckled. "Cathy would hit you over the head with a brick it you tried to find out," I joked back.
"That's for sure." It doesn't hurt just to look though. Did you see she has both of those pretty little titties pierced with nipple rings?"
"You'd have to be blind not to see them, Bruce. She's not at all shy about showing them off; in fact neither of them are bashful." I took a bite from my corn-on-the-cob and looked around. "Where are they? Did they go home already?" One could only hope.
"No, they're around here someplace. The last I saw of them they were with Britney. I think she was trying to make them feel welcome."
"Yup, that's my Britney. She's over there with Cathy and some of the other ladies though."
"There they are," said Bruce looking behind us.
I glanced back and saw Skip and Joy sitting at one of the long card tables with a couple of beers in their hand. There were five or six large plastic cups stacked up next to them. I assumed that was for both of them.
After eating it was about time to exchange my chef's hat for my host cap. I joined my wife and her friends.
"Hello dear," slurred Brit.
"Ah, hello gorgeous," I replied flirting with my slightly tipsy significant other. "And just how many of those have you had, my darling?"
She held up what was left of one of Bill's famous margaritas. "Oh, two or three," she muttered with a little grin.
I was hoping she didn't get too drunk. I would never have admitted it, but that little slut, Joy, had me horny as hell. All I could think of was what I was going to do to my own little slut later that night.
For about the next hour Britney and I socialized with our reveling friends. I pretty much stayed away from the gruesome-twosome though. I really didn't want to be too friendly with them for fear they'd start hanging around. Unfortunately my lovely wife didn't share my reluctance. When I saw she was no longer at my side I looked around and saw the three of them standing on the other side of the yard, talking. I watched for a minute as Joy appeared to be showing off her piercings to my wife. Britney seemed enthralled as our young guest exhibited them one by one.
I saw my wife picking up the conversation while pointing to Joy's boobs. I was totally shocked when Brit cautiously reached up and felt her nipple rings. I was sure it was at Joy's invitation but even so...
Next it was Skip's chance. He turned his head and tugged on his earlobe to give Brit a better look. I wasn't sure if she was acting or it was the margaritas, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. She laughed at one point and put her hand to her mouth; that's when I thought I saw her look down at his crotch but I was too far away to be sure. It looked like Joy said something to Skip then he stuck out his tongue. What the hell, I thought. Was he being rude again? Brit didn't seem to be offended ... I had to see what the hell was going on.
"Hi honey," she greeted as I walked up. "Joy and Skip here were showing me all their body jewelry. You should feel her nipple rings, they're really neat."
Joy turned toward me as if offering me a feel. I didn't even look at Skip to see what he thought of the idea.
"No, no, that's perfectly alright, I'm sure they feel great," I said jokingly.
"It's okay if you want to feel them," said Skip.
"I'll pass," I replied.
"Show him you tongue," Britney slurred.
Skip stuck his tongue out, that's when I saw what had my wife so animated. He had a big stud sticking right through it. It almost made my stomach cringe when I thought of how painful it must have been to have that done. He wiggled it around so I could get a better look. It had two balls on either end.
"How do you eat with that thing?" I asked.
"Ask Joy," he replied with a laugh.
Being the oral couple we were, both Britney and I picked up on his little joke immediately.
Joy chimed right in. "Oh God, it's the most incredible thing ever."
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, we were all adults, but their behavior just seemed a little forward for someone we'd only known a little while. At the same time I could only imagine what thoughts were going through the head of my tongue loving wife. Of course it didn't take her long to let me know.
"Oh Taylor," she turned toward me to speak. She was almost gushing. I knew it was mostly from the booze. "Can you get one of those?"
"Not hardly," I joked dismissively. Brit stuck her lower lip out to show me she was pouting.
Skip piped up again, he was obviously very proud of his ability to withstand pain. "I also have a Prince Albert. Do you know what that is?"
"Yes," I said letting my irritation with his crudeness show, "I know what a Prince Albert is. Do me a favor and don't go showing it around, okay?"
"Joy also has her hood pierced, maybe you like to see that for yourself," chanted the obnoxious prick.
"Ah, no, I would appreciate it if you two just kept your hidden piercings hidden."
Thank goodness I heard a couple of the guys calling me over for a game of lawn darts because I was really getting pissed again.
I didn't care if it was rude or not, I leaned over and whispered in my wife's ear telling her not to ignore the other guests. She promised she wouldn't and I excused myself.
My partner and I won the first three games of lawn darts so we had been at it for over an hour before being sent to the showers, figuratively of course. I walked over to the keg and drew myself a tall one; it was only my third for the entire day. After a couple of sips I looked around for Brit but didn't see her.
She must be inside, I thought, and since I had to tap a kidney, I was sure I'd run into her in the house. The first floor washroom was occupied so I went upstairs. On the way it occurred to me that Bill's margaritas had hit her a little harder than she thought they would and she might be in the bedroom lying down. When I was done in the bathroom I checked the bedrooms but Brit was nowhere to be found.
When I returned to the party I scanned the entire back yard, looking for my slightly inebriated wife. At first I didn't see Joy or Skip either and was relieved thinking they'd gone home. Unfortunately that comforting thought didn't last long when I spotted Joy talking to a couple of the other ladies.
I picked up the beer I'd set down earlier and walked around while keeping an eye out for Britney. Bruce and Cathy were sitting under the big Oak tree in the far corner of the yard talking with another couple, so I wandered over that way.
Al and Mildred Higgans was an elderly couple that lived behind Bruce's place. "Hey Taylor, another great party," commented Al. "You and Britney get better at this every year."
"Thanks Al. Speaking of Britney, has anyone seen her later, I seem to have misplaced my wife."
Cathy spoke first. "No, I haven't seen her in a while, Taylor."
"Me neither," offered Mildred. "The time last I saw her, she was talking to that guy with the long hair."
"You mean Skip? That guy's something else, isn't he," remarked Bruce.
That's when it hit me; it was the first time all day that I had seen one without the other. I stood there trying to act casual as I searched around, now looking for Skip. I looked over and saw Joy in the same spot as before but still absent her partner.
From the day I met Britney she had never given me a reason to question her fidelity but I knew how much she'd had to drink and I remembered her reaction to that asshole's stud. I was getting a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I excused myself to start my search in earnest.
There was no way she could get her car out of the garage, there were too many vehicles blocking our drive. If they were together would they take a chance of someone seeing them sneak off to his place? I doubted it. That left only one place, they had to be in the house somewhere; most likely in the basement, although we just used it as storage. There was nothing down there except boxes and things, nowhere to fool around if that's what they were really up to.
I opened the door to the basement and listened ... nothing. Just to be safe I tiptoed down the stairs until I could see, nope, nothing. A sense of relief washed over me. What was I thinking? Britney would never cheat on me, even if she was a little smashed. I closed the door and was about to continue my search when I heard her unmistakable shriek of ecstasy coming from the garage.
No, it can't be, I told myself. I had to force my hand to turn the doorknob. I can't even describe what I felt next. My logical, clear thinking that I had always relied on in a crisis, ceased to function. Any brainwaves had been replaced with emotions, tons and tons of emotions all swirling around inside me like a train wreck, one smashing into another over and over. It was if someone put blinders on me, my peripheral vision was non-existent as my eyes focused like lasers on the two in front of me.
Britney was sitting on the fender of her car, leaning back with both hands on the hood for support. Her body was arched with her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Skip was hunched over between her legs. He had his right arm under her left leg holding it up and out of his way. His left hand pushed against the inner thigh of her right leg to give him more room. Her panties were tangled up inside her shorts and hung from her ankle.
My blood ran cold and I felt clammy as I saw him busily lapping away at what was supposed to be exclusively mine. Britney fought to stifle her cries of gratification; the same cries that used to give me such pleasure were now ripping my heart to pieces.
The two were so wrapped up in their hedonistic paradise they weren't yet aware of their discovery. I could almost feel my adrenal glands going into overdrive as I quickly closed the gap between us. I reached out and grabbed a handful of Skip's long black locks and yanked him backwards as hard as I could. I heard him yell out as his ass hit the hard cement floor. I thought I also heard Britney scream but I wasn't sure. It was as if I was on autopilot and wasn't aware of what was happening around me.
Skip tried to twist out of my grip but I had a good hold of his hair and held his head down as I pulled him into the kitchen, through the patio doors, and back to the party.
Everyone froze at the sound of his screams. They watched in shock as I drug the son-of-a-bitch halfway across the yard. "Get this mother-fucker out of my sight before I kill him," I yelled as I threw him at Joy's feet.
As soon as I released his hair Skip spun around to get back on his feet and lunged at me, throwing a wild punch that missed by a mile. He stumbled forward then turned around for a second try but I was waiting for him. I caught him right above his left eye with the hardest punch I'd ever thrown in my life. He went down like a sack of potatoes.
I turned around when I heard some scuffling in back of me and saw that Joy had attempted to join the fight by attacking me from behind but was being restrained by Cathy and a couple others. I looked at Skip again, who was still on the ground thrashing around in a pool of blood. Evidently my punch caught the ring he had through his eyebrow and ripped the skin wide open. He was bleeding like a stuck pig.
Joy was crying and screaming to be freed so she could help the SOB. When they let her go she ran over and knelt down to help him up. You could hear a pin drop as everyone watched Joy help Skip to his feet then take off down the drive and out to the sidewalk.
"Sorry everybody," I bellowed, "but the party's over. Everyone go home ... please."
I knew everybody was dying to know what happened but respectfully they all dispersed.
I staggered over to the patio and watched as the women grabbed the bowls and dishes of leftover food that they brought. The guys glanced my way from time to time but no one bothered me. Finally the only ones left were Bruce and Cathy.
"What the hell happened?" they asked almost in unison.
"Please guys, not now. I just want to be left alone, really."
"Taylor, your hand..." Cathy exclaimed.
I looked down and saw my right hand was all scratched up and bloody. Skip must have reached up and dug into my skin with his fingernails in an attempt to make me let go, but I didn't even feel it.