My name is Kelly and something terrible happened to me last week. I feel like I really need to tell somebody but I can't tell my parents because I broke their rules and I can't tell my friends because they would think I'm an idiot. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.

Maybe if I tell you about it, it will help. So, here goes, nothing. As I said, my name is Kelly and I just turned 14 but for some reason the gods must have hated me and didn't allow me to grow up like all my friends. Let's take tits for example (although most of us call them boobs). Most of my friends are at least a B cup with a few who are already in a C. Me? I'm finally an A cup but I just graduated to that last week. Okay, I admit that I added some padding to make it work, but just a little. At least I'm FINALLY out of a training bra. And sex? Most of my friends have boyfriends and a lot of them have gone all the way (although none of them said they really liked it). Me? My parents won't even allow me to double date until I reach 16. God, they are soooo old fashioned.

My best friend, Jill, told me that she had finally let her boyfriend Greg go all the way with her. She told me it hurt a lot at first but afterward while he was finishing it was nothing very spectacular. In fact she told Greg that she didn't even want him near her in that way any time soon. Greg told her if she didn't he would break up with her and, because she really liked him, she just gave in and did it again. She told me that they had done it several times since then and it seemed to keep him happy but still did nothing for her. I didn't tell her but I was sure I knew what the problem was.

Even though I didn't have any experience and had never even kissed a boy or even had a boyfriend I knew what it took to make a girl have a "mind blowing" orgasm. I mean I should, I have read about it on the internet. For the first time the man should be extremely rough. I mean, doesn't it make sense? A girl's first time is going to hurt really bad anyway. There's nothing you can do to keep that from happening. About every time you read about somebody being raped, their body betrays them and they end up enjoying it even if they hate the fact that it's being forced upon them. Since I don't have a boyfriend I think I might like may first time to be that way ... at least it wouldn't be some young boy who doesn't know what he's doing. I guess I needed to get to think about it a while. Actually, as it turned out, I didn't have much time to think about it.

It was the middle of July and mom was up to her armpits in paper work for a case she was working on. She was an attorney who was apparently very good at what she did. She was trying hard to become a partner in her firm. My dad works as a vice president at a manufacturing company. He spends a lot of his time working on the road and this time he was going to be gone until the end of the month. Normally, our neighbor across the street, Mrs. Aberthey, would come over and sit at the house and watch TV until my mom came home. She was a nice enough old lady but I kept telling my parents that now that I was a teenager I was old enough to stay by myself. Mom was upstairs getting ready for work and I was watching cartoons when the telephone rang.

"I got it," I yelled upstairs. "Hello"

"Hi Kelly, it's Jane, Mrs. Aberthey's daughter. Can I talk with your Mother?"

"Hey mom", I yelled, "It's for you."

I heard mom pick up the upstairs extension. Because I have a tendency to be nosy I closed the phone and turned it back on really fast to listen in. "Hi Mrs. Kenny, my mother asked me to let you know she won't be able to watch Kelly today. She fell down the stairs last night. I'm at the hospital now and she's been in the operating room for about two hours. The nurse came and out and told me she has a fractured hip."

"Oh, that's terrible, Jane. Tell her not to worry about Kelly, we'll work out something out. Tell her we'll pray for her and stop by when she's well enough to have visitors."

"Thanks, I'll keep you posted on how she's doing."

I waited until I heard the extension go back into the cradle and put the phone back on the rest.

I went back to my cartoons. I'm not exactly sure why but I really like it when the coyote falls off a cliff and ends up flat at the bottom. In the background I could hear my mother upstairs making several different telephone calls. I finally heard her hang after about the third and say "shit" a pause and then "shit, shit, shit". (I knew something must be bad because my mom almost never cusses.) And finally, "Kelly, can you up here for a minute?"

"Yes, mom." I took the steps two at a time and saw my mother in the bathroom at the end of the hall still playing around with her makeup. She finished what she was doing and turned and looked at me. "Kelly, can I trust you to stay here by yourself today?"

"Sure mom, I've been telling you that for a long time now."

"I wouldn't ask you but I'm up to my waist in alligators at work right now. I'll probably be home between eight and nine tonight but I want you to be back at the house before dark say 6:00 or so. There's enough food in the refrigerator so you won't go hungry." She sighed, "I don't like doing this but I don't see any other way."

I tried to put on a serious face. "It's okay mom. I'll probably go over and pal around with Jill for a while. You can trust me. I won't get in any trouble." (In my mind I was almost jumping for joy.)

"Just be sure you stay away from the park. There are some problems they have been having. One of the cases I'm working on is why they started closing it at five o'clock in the afternoon."

She picked up her purse. "I'm trusting to you to act right today. I'll try to make time to call you during the day but I probably won't be able to do it. If you need anything, call June (her secretary) and leave me a message."

"Its okay mom, it really is." She kissed me on the cheek and went out the door. I waited until she backed out the drive way and was gone around the corner before I just I couldn't hold it in any longer. Now I jumped up and down for real, "YES, YES, YES! I'm FINALLY on my own."

When I calmed down a bit I thought about what I wanted to do for the day. I called Jill but her mother told me she was spending the week with her grandparents. So that was out. I could probably go to the mall but it wasn't something I liked to do by myself. Somehow it took some of the sparkle out of it. I was as free as a bird with nothing to do.

Depressed, I walked to my room and hit the button to turn on my computer. I decided to take a shower instead of playing on the computer. I kind of like our shower. It has a shower head that can be taken down to use any where on your body. I had used it before so I knew exactly what to do to get me out of my sadness.

I set the water exactly the right temperature and the flow so that would hit like so many pin tips. I shed my clothes, took the shower head off the wall and stepped into the tub. I was beginning to feel better just thinking about what I was going to do. I reached up with my left hand and grabbed my right and nipple and pulled it way from my body a bit. It immediate stood nice and hard. I always felt the best part of my upper body was my nipples. I brought the shower head pointed right on my right nipple. Wow did it feel good at the same I grabbed my left nipple and made it nice and hard. I kept moving from one little breast to the other. They may be small but boy are they sensitive. I kept moving that way for a long time teasing myself for what I knew was coming. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and moved the spray between my legs while I grabbed first one nipple and then the other. I felt a small orgasm overtake me and I abandoned the shower head and ran both hands between my wide spread legs and rubbed for all I was worth. I came higher than I had ever had before, orgasmed and collapsed back into the tub.

Eventually I got out and dried myself off. I thought about wrapping a towel around myself but it seemed such a wonderfully dirty thing to do that I just walked back into my bedroom naked and sat down at my computer. I went from one site to another and finally settled one that showed virgins having their innocence taken from them fiercely. They cried and some were screaming when they were penetrated you could even see the blood pouring from their battered holes. But then it changed and they were obviously having fun by ramming up to meet the man using them and their cry changed from screams to moans of ecstasy. I love it. I rubbed myself to orgasm after orgasm. I grabbed my hairbrush and was about to it ram it into myself when I stopped myself. When I lost my cherry I wanted it to be by the real thing. I reach out and turned off the computer. I sat there panting and trying to get myself to come down off of my high.

Once I could again think rationally I planned the rest of my day. I decided it would be fun to go around walking around in the park as slutty as I could make myself without getting arrested for indecent exposure. I knew there were a lot of unsavory characters there and it would be fun to see their eyes when they saw what they couldn't have. How to do it was the question.

I pulled on some clothes and went to the dust cloth bag where mom would often throw things I had grown out of. I found a pair of red shorts that were probably too sizes too small and a pair of panties that were the same way. Those would work for the bottom, now what to do for the top. I thought for a minute and then went to the dressing room for our pool. I found what I was looking for, a bikini top that I had worn two years ago.

I returned to my bedroom and got undressed. I sort of liked what I saw in the mirror on the back of my door. I didn't yet have any hair between my legs but the lips fell out pretty nicely. I placed the bikini top against my chest. Yes, it would cover the nipples but not much more. I put it on and went to get the panties. I had to work hard to get them up over my hips and I heard the elastic rip just a little bit. They bit into my pussy so hard I might as well have not them on. I had a bitch of a time getting the shorts on. I finally managed it by lying on my bed and pulling as hard as I could. I finally got them buttoned and zipped and went to look at myself in the mirror. I was shocked. I looked like some ragamuffin from the wrong side of the tracks instead of the daughter of relatively rich parents. My tits were hardly covered at all though I didn't have much to cover so it didn't matter that much. My shorts were pulled so much into my crotch that the outline of my pussy was there for the whole world to see. I was pretty pleased with the effect though now don't know why.