"Okay, he's gone, satisfied?" she said.
"Yeah, sorry for interrupting you two.
"But satisfied? You mean satisfied that he is no longer doing you in our front room in the middle of the day? You mean satisfied because of that?" I said. "I mean how could I not be satisfied. I mean I did stop you from cheating on me—for the moment."
"You're over reacting, Scott. So, Humphrey fucked me. We didn't do it in our bed, yours and mine. And, it's wasn't cheating on you, not to my mind," said Kendra Nelson, nee Fairchild, my wife and love for the past sixteen years.
"Overreacting? How do you figure?" I said, and that not unreasonably. She sighed.
"It's only cheating if the stud of the moment has some hope, however vague, of replacing the husband of the moment. Humphrey Westmoreland has no such hope, not even," she said. He fills a need that you don't. Sorry, Scott, but you're boring! And, I wouldn't be surprised if I bore you! It's nature I guess. We've been married a long time; boring is part of the equation.
"Boring am I? Oh and, I must say that you are more than creative in your definition of cheating. I do believe that if we looked it up in the dictionary that we'd discover that the accepted definition is a helluva lot different than yours, my love," I said.
"And that's exactly it, Scott, I am your love—not his. Not ever his, believe it," she said. "You and I will grow old together as we should. Faithful to a fault in the real definition of the term."
"And, if I take exception to your definition of things? Well, what does that mean for us?" I said. She went pensive on me.
"I guess it means that you will have to leave," she said. She'd surprised me, stunned me, stopped me; but, only for the moment.
"Am I hearing you right? You plan to divorce me if I don't accept Humphrey and you getting it on? Is that really what you're saying," I said.
"No, no, no, no, I'm not saying that at all. Divorce would have to be your choice; I will never opt for a divorce if it's up to me. I'm just saying that unless you are okay with me; well, playing with Humphrey on the side, that you cannot stay here in the house until you 'are' okay with it. I can be very patient with you on this, Scott; but I will not allow you to stay here and be a wet blanket on everything and everyone that comes around," she said, "you'll have to shack up somewhere else until you get your head on straight." I almost laughed, but not quite, not yet.
"Let me get this straight. One: you plan to continue fucking him whether I like it or not because I'm boring? Two: you're kicking me out—if you can—if I do not agree to like it? That about the size of things?" I said.
Yes, more or less," she said, "pretty much. The house was my parents; it belongs to me, not us. So never doubt that I can get your jealous butt booted, at least for the short term. And, I say the short term because I know, that as time wound on, you'd come to your senses and realize that me doing Humphrey would be a good thing for you as well as for him and me."
"Really. Well, let me ask you. What if I decide to get me a little strange on the side? I mean accept your little dalliance and require you to do the same? How about that!" I said.
"Do it!" she said, without hesitation.
"Yeah, you say that because you know I never would. Right?" I said. She snickered.
"You still haven't lost all of your hair, your looks either. Just do it. I can't very well object to you playing if I'm doing it," she said. My turn to snicker. I knew she was the draw not me. I might be able to find me a woman whom I didn't actually turn off, but it would be a lot harder for me than for her, and she knew it would be harder for me. But, even given all of that, I wouldn't do it anyway. It wasn't right.
"Hmm, and what about Marylou?" I said. I was playing my hole card. Marylou was our eighteen year-old daughter, now a senior at Central High. My wife's whoring around was not going to sit well with her. Of that, I was certain to an absolute degree. My wife snickered.
"Marylou already knows. She caught me and Humphrey months ago," said Kendra. My mood darkened.
"What did you say?" I said. My tone now bespoke shock and disbelief.
"Oh, don't get your panties all in a wad about Marylou. Yes, she knows, but she made me promise not to hurt you or rub your nose in what I was doing with him. So you see, she loves you enough to want to protect you. That should make you feel good. Right, I mean about her?" she said.
"Well, even if you're not lying in your teeth, you seem to have broken your agreement with her. I mean I am hurt, and you are rubbing my nose in it even now," I said.
"No I'm not, well, not on purpose. I guess I have to admit to hurting you. You really didn't need this—mess," she said. I ignored her more than flawed logic.
"Marylou will be staying with me. I mean after I talk to her and find out just how big a liar you are?" I said. Her turn to have her mood darken: I'd shaken her.
"I'm not lying, and you are over reacting. And, there won't be any custody issue, because she's a technical adult; and, also because we are not going to be divorcing, unless you are even dumber than I was doing Humphrey here in the house today. First time by the way, and I promise you it's the last time. Dumb-dumb-dumb on my part," said Kendra.
"Not dumb, dear, arrogant and contemptuous of me is all," I said
"No! I never held you in contempt. Surely you can grant me that much, Scott," she said.
"I'm not granting you anything, but it doesn't matter. But anyway, now we at least understand each other, dear soon to be ex-wife. Get this. I am filing for divorce. I will be asking Marylou to stay with me until she heads off to state; unless that is, she opts to live with her whore of a mother instead. If that turns out to be the case neither one of you will ever see me again. I hope I'm not being vague here; I really do not want to be vague or misunderstood," I said.
"Jesus! Scott, did I say you were overreacting! I should have said that you're fucking crazy!" said Kendra.
"No-no-no, dear, you're the one that been fucking—Humphrey that is. And crazy? Maybe I am; I did marry you didn't I.
"I should have suspected it, your cheating on me. That especially given the way you've neglected me over these past weeks. I mean how long has it been for me and you, a month maybe, month and half?" I said. She looked surprised.
"Really? It's been that long. Well, I will remedy that immediately if you will allow. My bad," she said.
"Great, a mercy fuck for me, your husband. Forget it skank. I have no use for you anymore. Too bad too, you were a good wife while it lasted, the marriage that is. Well, that is I had thought you were a good wife. I guess I thought wrong. So fuck you, fuck him, and fuck anyone else who thinks that what you're doing is okay," I said.
My implication was not lost on my wife. If my daughter was actually okay with what my personal whore was doing; she was history. Yes, even my daughter. Yes, I would write off even my daughter if she was so much as tacitly okay with what her mother was doing to me. Because what her mother was doing and demanding, was utterly beyond the pale as far as I was concerned.
"Now wait a minute, Scott! You're not thinking of going off on Marylou are you? She's still a kid in high school. She doesn't have the experience to know how to make judgments or really think logically," said Kendra.
"Go off on her? Heavens no! But, she better not be okay with you cheating on me," I said. "That, I will not accept on any level."
"Jesus I wish Hump and I hadn't decided to do it here today!" she said.
"Yeah, sorry you got caught, but not sorry you did it. Not sorry you've neglected me. Not sorry you've gotten my daughter—if you're not lying—to back you in whoring around on me. You are a trip for damn sure, Kendra," I said.
We both turned when we heard the back door open and close. Marylou Nelson was home.
"Hi mom, hi dad," she said, tossing her backpack onto the couch.
"Hi honey," said her mom. I tendered her a wan smile. She picked up on the wanness.
"Dad? Something wrong?" said Marylou. I guess I was pretty transparent.
"Don't know. We need to talk you and I, but it can wait till after dinner," I said. I needed time to get my thinking straight, hence, the delay.
"Dad?" she said, concern in her tone.
"After dinner. Should be no problem the way I see things. Okay?" I said. She nodded, but it was a tentative nod.
Dinner and dishes done, I headed for the front room. Marylou followed me without my having to ask. Kendra hung back in the kitchen busying herself for the moment with who knew what.
"Dad?" said Marylou. I motioned her to sit though I remained standing.
"Just a few questions, dear heart. Okay?" I said.
"Okay," she said. Kendra had come in but just leaned against the kitchen entranceway jamb to monitor things.
"Did you know that your mother had a lover and kept that knowledge from me deliberately?" I said. She took on a stricken look.
"Kinda," she said.
"Next question: do you approve of her adultery?" I said.
"Not exactly, no, but mom explained that what she was doing was not really adultery, cheating," she said. I nodded.
"Okay, final question. Your mom and I will be getting a divorce. Who would you rather live with, her and her lover, or me?" I said. I was smiling as though I had already won the race, but the truth was I was terrified that I would lose it.
"Huh? I—I—I don't want you to get a divorce!" said Marylou.
.... There is more of this story ...