I brought the car to a standstill, dowsed the lights and waited. I checked the timetable. Sure enough on Monday night the express should be here at 10:10pm. I checked my watch. In less than five minutes the final stage of my plan would come to fruition. Five minutes to wait. Five minutes to go over everything. This was the culmination of a week of planning but the story started over a year before.
The first time I thought little of it. When you've been married for twenty two years you don't expect every time to be a marathon. Now and again a time will come when performance is not up to scratch. When my cock started to go soft before either of us had an orgasm all I could do was apologise. When the same thing happened again a week later, I started to get worried. It was bad enough thinking that maybe I was losing the ability to satisfy my wife but to lose it, even temporarily at that point, was an absolute disaster.
When the first of our children was born, our sex life went down the toilet. Erica always seemed to be too tired, or at least that was the excuse. I'd be surprised if we managed once a month. It seemed like the baby took all the love she had and there wasn't enough left over for me. I admit, I was jealous of my son and at the same time I was ashamed. I must have managed it somewhere along the line because eighteen months later along came son number two.
As the boys got older and less demanding, I expected things to get better, I was wrong. I found the rejection really hard to deal with so I avoided it by giving her time to get to sleep before turning in myself. Knowing she didn't want me as much as I wanted her, hurt me deeply, but there's more to a marriage than sex, isn't there? I could get by on once every couple of weeks. What mattered was that we loved each other. At least I thought we did.
Things started to change when my youngest son, James went off to university. We spent more time together and Erica started to get more amorous. Once a fortnight was no longer enough, we were soon up to two or three times a week. Sex wasn't restricted to bed time; occasionally she would jump on me as soon as I got home from work. When her libido went into overdrive we started having sex every day, twice on Sundays. It was like being newlyweds again. I loved it, not just the sex, we seemed to have reconnected. The kissing and touching increased. For the first time in years I felt loved.
I started to worry when she told me that she still needed more. She worked as a kindergarten manager and frequently found the need to go to the toilets to get herself off manually. At my suggestion she went to see a doctor. She seemed a bit down when I got home that night. The doctor had told she was experiencing the start of the menopause. According to our doctor it was her body's way of dealing with the fact that she would soon become infertile. Her body was giving her the best chance to conceive before the eggs stopped coming. He told her it would only last a year to 18 months and advised her to ride it out. Being a man I couldn't see the problem.
"I'm going to be infertile," she whined. "It's like the end of something special."
"I had a vasectomy fifteen years ago. I did it because you didn't like the pill or any of the other contraceptives we tried. Producing children ended for me then. I don't remember getting all morose."
"Well you wouldn't would you? You're a man. It's not as important to you."
"Hold on now. I'll have you know that being able to sire children is very important to a man. It's part of his reason for being. That's why I was so reluctant to have the vasectomy. We decided, no you decided you didn't want any more children. Now your complaining because soon you won't be able to have anymore. To me it sound like whining because someone is taking away something you didn't want."
"Huh I might have known you wouldn't understand."
I tried a different tack. "I'm sorry Ric I really am, but I can see a positive side. No more period pains, no more premenstrual tension, That must be something to look forward to? He said you'll only be like this for another year. Surely that's a comfort?"
"I suppose there is that, I hadn't really given it much thought, but at the time it seemed like such a blow."
I sat down beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. "In a year from now you'll be back to normal, doesn't that make you feel better."
"No! Not really I enjoy feeling like this. I'm having three orgasms a day and it makes me feel great."
"Three? I'm only giving you one, who's giving you the other two?"
"I am, with my rampant rabbit. I told you I needed more than you can give. It's not your fault you can't be with me all day. I have to do it. I get the tingle then the throbbing that can only be sated by an orgasm."
"Sounds like you're barely in control, and you say you don't want it to stop?"
"It's like having the afterglow of sex all day long. It's exhilarating and I love the feeling. It's not a problem, is it?"
"No, there's no problem, our sex life hasn't been this good in years. I must admit I'm a bit worried about you having to get yourself off at work. I doubt the parents would understand if you got caught."
"Don't worry, I always lock myself in the toilet. Nobody knows."
I did my best to comfort her that night. In fact I comforted her twice. The more I thought about it the more I understood. She wasn't just concerned about the end of child bearing, she worried about getting old.
I heard an owl hooting and it brought me back to the present. I looked at my watch. 10.15 PM. Where the hell was that train? The express is never late. I looked down the track but there was still no sign. The night around me was black without a sign of another human being. I started to get cold. My left arm felt particularly cold. I could start the engine and warm the car up again but I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I decided to just wait. The train may have been a little late but it would come. My worries would soon be over.
My own personal disaster struck while I was trying to cope with Erica's out of control libido. The first time I lost my erection Erica understood. It was her fault she said for being so demanding. However, as it became a regular occurrence she got more annoyed. I'd planned to see my doctor but before I got an appointment Erica presented me with a pack of Viagra.
"Erica, I need to talk to the doctor. These may not be the answer."
"Yes but they may be and where's the harm in trying? If they don't work, go to the doctor."
I didn't know enough about my problem to argue with her and I saw logic in what she said. Our lovemaking already lacked spontaneity, and having to take a pill half an hour in advance made it worse. The good news was that they worked. I could even put up with the side effects. Every morning my face was on fire, my nose blocked up and I woke up with a hangover, but they worked, for a while. As the weeks went by the problem returned and I increased the dose. I reached the maximum dose and still the problem returned.
My work colleagues knew something was wrong. You can't go to work with a hangover everyday without people noticing a loss of performance. I shared an office with the most gorgeous Cypriot woman by the name of Eugenia Vanesis. Eugenia was a beautiful woman, five feet tall slim with a lovely round arse. I don't know if her face could launch a thousand ships but it certainly entranced every male student she encountered. The only area where she didn't come up trumps was in the boob department. She was always conscious of this short coming, but she was the only one who found it important. We had been friends since I started at the college and more than once she had expressed a willingness to take it further. On one occasion, she walked in and looked at me.
"Kevin Johnson, when are you and I going to start our affair?"
"Don't even joke about such things."
"Who says I'm joking?"
"I love Erica; I'd never cheat on her. Besides, I can hardly afford one woman, let alone two."
I laughed it off but there was definitely sexual chemistry between us.
At 32, Eugenia already had her own share of problems. An abusive ex-husband, Neville, had driven her away then tried to control her with threats of suicide. He stood six foot six inches and was a prop forward on the local Rugby team, and headmaster at a junior school. I'd supported her through all of that. Now she saw an opportunity to return the favour.
"Problems at home, Kev?" she asked.
"No, what makes you think that?"
"Come off it. Normally you hardly drink at all, but now you come in here hung over every day. Something must be very wrong for you to hit the bottle."
"Look Gen. I am not hitting the bottle, it's the side effects of the drugs."
"What drugs are you on then?"
I had to tell her the whole story. She was horrified.
"She put you on Viagra? Have you seen a doctor? You may have a heart condition Kevin she could be killing you. You have to stop taking them until you've seen a doctor."
"I might as well stop, they're not working anymore."
Eugenia hugged me tightly and made me promise to get checked out.
At home things went from bad to worse, without the little blue pills I didn't even get an erection, let alone maintain one. I did my best to satisfy Erica with my mouth, fingers and her vibrators. She soon let me know it wasn't enough.
"I need a man Kevin. I need a man's weight on me while I'm cumming. I need to feel your arms around me when you cum inside me. Anything else is a poor substitute."
.... There is more of this story ...