I brought the car to a standstill, dowsed the lights and waited. I checked the timetable. Sure enough on Monday night the express should be here at 10:10pm. I checked my watch. In less than five minutes the final stage of my plan would come to fruition. Five minutes to wait. Five minutes to go over everything. This was the culmination of a week of planning but the story started over a year before.
The first time I thought little of it. When you've been married for twenty two years you don't expect every time to be a marathon. Now and again a time will come when performance is not up to scratch. When my cock started to go soft before either of us had an orgasm all I could do was apologise. When the same thing happened again a week later, I started to get worried. It was bad enough thinking that maybe I was losing the ability to satisfy my wife but to lose it, even temporarily at that point, was an absolute disaster.
When the first of our children was born, our sex life went down the toilet. Erica always seemed to be too tired, or at least that was the excuse. I'd be surprised if we managed once a month. It seemed like the baby took all the love she had and there wasn't enough left over for me. I admit, I was jealous of my son and at the same time I was ashamed. I must have managed it somewhere along the line because eighteen months later along came son number two.
As the boys got older and less demanding, I expected things to get better, I was wrong. I found the rejection really hard to deal with so I avoided it by giving her time to get to sleep before turning in myself. Knowing she didn't want me as much as I wanted her, hurt me deeply, but there's more to a marriage than sex, isn't there? I could get by on once every couple of weeks. What mattered was that we loved each other. At least I thought we did.
Things started to change when my youngest son, James went off to university. We spent more time together and Erica started to get more amorous. Once a fortnight was no longer enough, we were soon up to two or three times a week. Sex wasn't restricted to bed time; occasionally she would jump on me as soon as I got home from work. When her libido went into overdrive we started having sex every day, twice on Sundays. It was like being newlyweds again. I loved it, not just the sex, we seemed to have reconnected. The kissing and touching increased. For the first time in years I felt loved.
I started to worry when she told me that she still needed more. She worked as a kindergarten manager and frequently found the need to go to the toilets to get herself off manually. At my suggestion she went to see a doctor. She seemed a bit down when I got home that night. The doctor had told she was experiencing the start of the menopause. According to our doctor it was her body's way of dealing with the fact that she would soon become infertile. Her body was giving her the best chance to conceive before the eggs stopped coming. He told her it would only last a year to 18 months and advised her to ride it out. Being a man I couldn't see the problem.
"I'm going to be infertile," she whined. "It's like the end of something special."
"I had a vasectomy fifteen years ago. I did it because you didn't like the pill or any of the other contraceptives we tried. Producing children ended for me then. I don't remember getting all morose."
"Well you wouldn't would you? You're a man. It's not as important to you."
"Hold on now. I'll have you know that being able to sire children is very important to a man. It's part of his reason for being. That's why I was so reluctant to have the vasectomy. We decided, no you decided you didn't want any more children. Now your complaining because soon you won't be able to have anymore. To me it sound like whining because someone is taking away something you didn't want."
"Huh I might have known you wouldn't understand."
I tried a different tack. "I'm sorry Ric I really am, but I can see a positive side. No more period pains, no more premenstrual tension, That must be something to look forward to? He said you'll only be like this for another year. Surely that's a comfort?"
"I suppose there is that, I hadn't really given it much thought, but at the time it seemed like such a blow."
I sat down beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. "In a year from now you'll be back to normal, doesn't that make you feel better."
"No! Not really I enjoy feeling like this. I'm having three orgasms a day and it makes me feel great."
"Three? I'm only giving you one, who's giving you the other two?"
"I am, with my rampant rabbit. I told you I needed more than you can give. It's not your fault you can't be with me all day. I have to do it. I get the tingle then the throbbing that can only be sated by an orgasm."
"Sounds like you're barely in control, and you say you don't want it to stop?"
"It's like having the afterglow of sex all day long. It's exhilarating and I love the feeling. It's not a problem, is it?"
"No, there's no problem, our sex life hasn't been this good in years. I must admit I'm a bit worried about you having to get yourself off at work. I doubt the parents would understand if you got caught."
"Don't worry, I always lock myself in the toilet. Nobody knows."
I did my best to comfort her that night. In fact I comforted her twice. The more I thought about it the more I understood. She wasn't just concerned about the end of child bearing, she worried about getting old.
I heard an owl hooting and it brought me back to the present. I looked at my watch. 10.15 PM. Where the hell was that train? The express is never late. I looked down the track but there was still no sign. The night around me was black without a sign of another human being. I started to get cold. My left arm felt particularly cold. I could start the engine and warm the car up again but I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I decided to just wait. The train may have been a little late but it would come. My worries would soon be over.
My own personal disaster struck while I was trying to cope with Erica's out of control libido. The first time I lost my erection Erica understood. It was her fault she said for being so demanding. However, as it became a regular occurrence she got more annoyed. I'd planned to see my doctor but before I got an appointment Erica presented me with a pack of Viagra.
"Erica, I need to talk to the doctor. These may not be the answer."
"Yes but they may be and where's the harm in trying? If they don't work, go to the doctor."
I didn't know enough about my problem to argue with her and I saw logic in what she said. Our lovemaking already lacked spontaneity, and having to take a pill half an hour in advance made it worse. The good news was that they worked. I could even put up with the side effects. Every morning my face was on fire, my nose blocked up and I woke up with a hangover, but they worked, for a while. As the weeks went by the problem returned and I increased the dose. I reached the maximum dose and still the problem returned.
My work colleagues knew something was wrong. You can't go to work with a hangover everyday without people noticing a loss of performance. I shared an office with the most gorgeous Cypriot woman by the name of Eugenia Vanesis. Eugenia was a beautiful woman, five feet tall slim with a lovely round arse. I don't know if her face could launch a thousand ships but it certainly entranced every male student she encountered. The only area where she didn't come up trumps was in the boob department. She was always conscious of this short coming, but she was the only one who found it important. We had been friends since I started at the college and more than once she had expressed a willingness to take it further. On one occasion, she walked in and looked at me.
"Kevin Johnson, when are you and I going to start our affair?"
"Don't even joke about such things."
"Who says I'm joking?"
"I love Erica; I'd never cheat on her. Besides, I can hardly afford one woman, let alone two."
I laughed it off but there was definitely sexual chemistry between us.
At 32, Eugenia already had her own share of problems. An abusive ex-husband, Neville, had driven her away then tried to control her with threats of suicide. He stood six foot six inches and was a prop forward on the local Rugby team, and headmaster at a junior school. I'd supported her through all of that. Now she saw an opportunity to return the favour.
"Problems at home, Kev?" she asked.
"No, what makes you think that?"
"Come off it. Normally you hardly drink at all, but now you come in here hung over every day. Something must be very wrong for you to hit the bottle."
"Look Gen. I am not hitting the bottle, it's the side effects of the drugs."
"What drugs are you on then?"
I had to tell her the whole story. She was horrified.
"She put you on Viagra? Have you seen a doctor? You may have a heart condition Kevin she could be killing you. You have to stop taking them until you've seen a doctor."
"I might as well stop, they're not working anymore."
Eugenia hugged me tightly and made me promise to get checked out.
At home things went from bad to worse, without the little blue pills I didn't even get an erection, let alone maintain one. I did my best to satisfy Erica with my mouth, fingers and her vibrators. She soon let me know it wasn't enough.
"I need a man Kevin. I need a man's weight on me while I'm cumming. I need to feel your arms around me when you cum inside me. Anything else is a poor substitute."
The next day I made an appointment to see a doctor but being a Friday the earliest I could get was the following Tuesday. Erica wouldn't wait that long. That night I waited for her to go to bed and followed shortly after. I was surprised to see a light on in my son's room. I was even more surprised when I walked past the door and saw Erica climbing into the empty bed.
"What's going on? Why are you sleeping in here?"
"You can't do anything for me that I can't do myself. To be honest, you only get in the way. At least this way I won't have to put up with your snoring."
I went to bed on my own feeling as low as a man can. I was a failure, unable to fulfil the most basic function of a man. I couldn't satisfy my wife. Lying alone in the bed, listening to her groans and grunts made me sink even lower. I tried to sleep without success. Around 3:00am, with her words still running through my head, I saw things as they were. She'd told me she needed to be held by a man and now she was pulling away from me. Was it possible that someone else was doing the holding, maybe even supplying everything else that I couldn't?
Erica kept out of my way for most of the weekend. Saturday she went shopping all day but didn't seem to buy much. On Sunday she went to church and didn't come back until the evening. I should have confronted her but I wasn't sure I wanted to know where she'd been, and I was so tired.
I became convinced she had found a replacement and if I needed any further confirmation it came on Monday evening when I found Erica packing her case.
"Where are you going, Ric?"
"I'm sorry Kevin but it's just not working for us anymore. I need more than you can give— which is really not saying much."
"Don't do this Erica. The problem is probably temporary. Things will soon be back to normal."
"I know it's only temporary, but even when it's over I'll still need sex occasionally."
"I was talking about my problem not yours. Many men suffer erectile dysfunction at some time or another. It's often a temporary thing."
She stopped packing for a moment and put her arms around me. "I hope so Kevin I really do. I know you love me and I hate to do this to you, but he's younger and so hard. He takes me to places you never could. It's not your fault. I just need him right now. It will be over soon, my libido will calm down, or he'll tire of me and we can get back to normal. We don't love each other or anything like that. It's just sex."
She let go of me and went back to her packing. I left her there and went downstairs. It took her a little over half an hour to appear at the top of the stairs with two large suitcases, an overnight bag and a large holdall. She started to come down with the smallest bag and saw me watching her.
"It wouldn't do you any harm to give me a hand."
"Erica I am going to do nothing to assist you to leave this house. If you go it's going to be entirely through your own efforts."
She thumped down the stairs and took the small bag out to her car. When she came back she stared at me hoping I would weaken, I didn't. She made a big show of how heavy the bags were and how difficult it was to get them out to her car. When she got the last one to the front door she stopped and looked back at me.
"It doesn't have to be like this you know. It's not as if it's forever. Can't you just be happy that I've found someone to take the load off you?"
"Please don't do this Erica. We can get past this. We both know it's not me you're doing this for. If you stay there's still a chance for us, but if you leave now you're not coming back. Here, will you do it or shall I?"
I held my phone out to her. She looked at the screen and saw her mobile number highlighted.
"What the hell are you talking about now?"
"Deleting you from my phone—and from my life. Will you do it or shall I?"
"Oh stop being so melodramatic, Kevin." She was starting to shout now. "Of course I'm coming back, it's just that right now I need a real man not a limp dicked excuse..."
She stopped mid sentence realising what she'd said. "I'm sorry Kev; I didn't mean it like that."
"Yes you did, you have finally said what you mean. You had better go, go and bounce on that long, hard cock I hope it makes you happy."
There was a tear in her eye as she turned and left. I pressed the button on the phone, and watched the number disappear. The door closed and I set the deadlock.
That evening I ran through the range of emotions. I started out angry. How could she do this to me? I had given her the twenty best years of my life and at the first sign of trouble she baled on me. Whatever happened to for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, and of course forsaking all others? How could she be so arrogant as to believe I would sit and wait for her to come back?
I tried to think about what I was going to do. I would find her young buck and cut his nuts off. I'd arrange a party for my students and have them fuck her within an inch of her life. When they'd finished with her I'd throw her out. All these things went through my mind and I tried to convince myself that I would do them all but in my heart I knew I wouldn't.
As the evening wore on my anger gave way to guilt. It was my fault, I had failed her. She had needed me to see her through her problem time and I let her down.
Then the self-pity hit. I was less than a man. I couldn't please a woman. I couldn't perform. Of course she didn't want me, what woman would? I could have lost an arm or leg and still felt more complete.
As I tried to sleep I slipped further into depression. Everything I could think of left me further down. I think I must have slept because I think I dreamt. I saw my students standing around laughing about poor old Kev who couldn't get it up. I saw Erica and her lover giggling about how much she'd missed a real man. I saw Erica explaining to my son's how their limp dicked father had let her down in her hour of need.
When morning came I found it difficult to pull myself out of bed. I made coffee but didn't feel like eating. I called the college and told them I was sick then just sat around the house. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. It was afternoon before I could function on any level. What brought me back to the real world was the ringing of a phone, a phone that I couldn't find. After throwing all the cushions off the sofa, I found Erica's phone. It was the first thing that gave me a lift, I picked it up walked to the bathroom and dropped down the toilet.
I knew I had to protect myself and my sons. I thought I could trust Erica, but I didn't even know who her lover was so I had to protect my finances. I obviously needed to go to the bank. The people at the bank were surprisingly helpful. Following their advice I opened a current account (Checking account) in my own name and transferred sufficient funds to cover a month's expenses into that account. With that done I took my name off of the joint current account we'd always used. I emptied our savings account. Erica and her fuck buddy might well have a good time but they wouldn't do it on my money.
When I got home I called the insurance company that handled my life insurance. It surprised me how simple it was to change the beneficiary from Erica to equal shares for my sons. The following day I went back to work. Between lectures I went to Human Resources and arranged for my salary to be paid into my new account. I did the same with the college insurance as I did with my life policy. On Friday I managed to see a solicitor to change my will. That's what led me to Monday night waiting for a train.
I had no idea why I felt so cold, and that damned heartburn was killing me. I'd just checked my watch again when it happened. I heard the bells, red lights flashed and the barrier came down behind me. I turned to look up the track to see the train coming around the bend. Soon it would be over, my misery was almost over.
Something was wrong, the train moved much slower than normal. In fact it seemed to be getting slower. In the distance but coming my way, were two flashing blue lights. The heartburn got significantly worse and I grabbed at my chest. Suddenly there were flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. A police car had stopped on the other side of the barrier. I wanted to start the engine and drive off but I couldn't pull my hand away from my chest. Two policemen walked up to the car. One tapped on the window but I didn't move. The heartburn was getting worse. The officer asked if I was alright but all I could do was look at him. Unable to keep my eyes open I drifted into unconsciousness as the policeman kept talking.
I remember nurses fussing around me, machines beeping, doctors prodding and probing me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Soft lips caressed my forehead and a soft hand held mine but then I was gone again.
The bright sunlight filtered through the blinds, beckoning me back to the land of the living. My eye lids fluttered and I looked out on a blurry world. I started to focus and soon picked out the TV screen above the bed and the magnolia walls of the ward. Someone was there with me and I started looking around. The nurses busied themselves at their station. I turned the other way and there she was.
"Welcome back," she said. "You had us worried for a while."
I looked at her beautiful face. Her big brown eyes showed so much love.
"Eugenia, what are you doing here?"
"Well someone had to be here. James is coming this weekend. Peter asked me to keep him informed and he'll be here as soon as he can. It's a long way from Durham."
"But how did you know?"
"The hospital called me. Mine was the only woman's number in your phone, they thought I was your wife. When they called I thought they were talking about my ex-husband. As soon as I found it was you I had to come.
"How long have I been here?"
"Two days, I've been here between classes and lectures. The college has been very good about it. They can't wait to have you back, and some of your students want to come in when you are fit enough."
"I don't think she even knows. She hasn't called you and she's not at home. I'm not trying to hide it from her but I'm not going looking for her either. In my opinion she is the reason you are in here."
She squeezed my hand and gave me a light kiss on the lips. When she looked at the monitor screen a smile spread across her face.
"You must be getting better. Your pulse went up ten beats a minute when I did that. Now I've got to get back to work for a while. I'll be back this afternoon and we'll find out what the doctors say about you."
Eugenia was back with me when the lead surgeon did his rounds that afternoon and started filling me in about what he'd done.
"You are a very lucky man Mr Johnson. Lucky that someone found you when they did, and lucky that I'd had a particularly heavy day and I was still here when you came in. We did an emergency by-pass operation on you. You are going to be pretty sore for a while but things are looking good. What puzzles me is how it got this bad. Didn't you have any symptoms? You must have been in considerable pain."
"Not really Doc. I've been getting a lot of indigestion lately, you know heartburn, but I thought nothing of it, you sort of expect it at my age. I've been getting a bit breathless and tired all the time but I put that down to my sedentary life style."
The doctor just shook his head. "No problems in the bedroom department at all."
"Well yes, but I was using Viagra for that."
"VIAGRA, are you mad? Who on earth prescribed them for you?"
"No one, my wife got them off the internet."
"Bloody internet pharmacies. I'd close them all down tomorrow if I had my way." He turned to Eugenia. "Well I hope you are satisfied Mrs Johnson. Your husband came very close to death. If he'd only seen a doctor none of this would have happened."
"Now hang on Doc." I yelled back at him. "This lady is not my wife. None of this is her fault. It's my fault and my wife's fault, but Eugenia urged me to go to a doctor. I'm the one who couldn't see the point. I know it's your duty to save me, but to be honest I wish you hadn't bothered."
Eugenia's face immediately showed her anger. "Kevin Johnson, how can you be so selfish. What about your family, don't they matter at all?"
"The boys would be upset for a while but they'd get over it. I've provided for them"
"That's only money Kevin. They don't need money, they need you. What about their children growing up without a grandfather? What about me? We all need you Kevin, don't you dare say he shouldn't have bothered. If you ever say anything like that again it will be the last you ever see of me."
She asked for a private word with the doctor. He looked at me for confirmation.
"Sure doc, go ahead you'll probably get more sense out of her than you will from me right now, and as for my wife, you'd have to find her first."
Eugenia put her hand on his arm and went off down the ward with him. When she came back the look of anger was still in her eyes.
"She's left you, hasn't she? Is that really sufficient reason for wanting to die? I call it a cause for celebration."
"You don't know why she left.--I can't do it any more, not even with Viagra. I can't perform the basic function of a man. I don't blame her for leaving."
"Well I do. She walked out on a sick man. Even if she didn't know about your heart condition she was well aware of the E.D. and what that was doing to you. All she did was pile the pressure on and make it worse. Now she's walked out in order to satisfy her own selfish desires. Don't defend her to me Kevin; I'm not prepared to listen."
"That's as maybe, but the fact remains that I'm not much use to any woman now."
"You can't say that. You might be fine once they've sorted you out. Anyway most women want more than a dick on legs. I like sex as much as the next woman, a lot more than most. I'd go without tomorrow if it meant getting a good man. Besides there are other things you can do without needing an erect penis."
She sat beside the bed and held my hand while telling me about all the things that happened at work. She was still there when the police arrived to talk to me. I made it clear that I wanted her to stay while I talked to them.
They asked why I had stopped on the railway track.
"I didn't know where I stopped officer. Something was drastically wrong so I pulled over before I had an accident."
"I see sir, so can you tell us why you switched off the lights?"
"No I can't really. I suppose it was habit. You know, stop the car, switch of the engine, and switch off the lights."
"You realise of course sir, that we must report this to the licensing authority. You'll need a doctor's certificate before you can drive again."
"I quite understand officer; I guess I am a very lucky man. Please pass my thanks on to the chaps who found me."
"OK sir, we'll do that. Now we'd better let you rest." They turned to leave when I remembered something I needed to know.
"Oh, Officers, can you tell me what happened to my car?"
"It's in the police pound sir. You'll need to pay for the recovery costs and you can have it back. Now if that's all we'll leave you in peace."
I turned to look at Eugenia. Her hands covered her eyes and I could hear her sobbing. She pulled away as I reached out to her.
"You were really going to do it, weren't you? You stupid, stupid man. You were sitting there waiting to be hit by an express train. Why Kevin, why?"
"Because of the boys. If it were an accident, they would get a much bigger insurance payout."
"Don't make it all sound so matter of fact. You were trying to kill yourself. I'm sorry I just can't deal with this."
With tears running down her face she ran from the ward narrowly missing the porters bringing in the supper trolley.
Eugenia never returned that night. In fact she didn't return until the afternoon of the following day. When she did come she gave me a smile that would melt a glacier.
"You needn't think I've forgiven you for getting yourself in that state without talking to me. I thought we were friends."
"I'm sorry Gen, I really wasn't thinking straight at the time. You're the best friend I've got. I should have talked to you."
"Is that all I am Kevin? A friend?"
"Right now Gen, you are the best friend I've got. I can't say more than that, I'm just so confused I am still supposed to be a married man."
"Married? You still consider yourself married to her after she walked out on you? After she made you feel worthless, has she gone to find another cock to ride? I'll tell you this Kevin Johnson, there is a lot more to being a man than having a stiff dick. If she can't see that, she doesn't deserve you."
"How long have you been in here? Four days and she hasn't even called you."
"She probably doesn't even know I'm in here."
"Wake up and smell the coffee Kevin. If she cared about you she'd have called you at home and when there was no reply she'd have called your mobile. If she wasn't a selfish bitch she would know."
"I suppose my flushing her phone down the toilet didn't help."
"I'm afraid I did. It was the day after she left. It kept ringing and when I found it, under the cushions on the sofa. I flushed it down the toilet. I think she must have comeback looking for it. Someone was in the house and tidying up last Wednesday."
Tears had started to form in her eyes, as she started to laugh they ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry Kevin I just find that so funny. If she's anything like me her whole life will be on that phone. Appointments, birthdays, her phone book, everything, all gone down the toilet. You really are a wicked man."
She stood up and prepared to leave.
"I'm going home now. The college won't tolerate lack of preparation, just because you are in hospital. I'll be back tomorrow. You think about what I've said."
I watched her walk away on her high heels. I admired the movement of her beautiful round bum. As she reached the door I called out to her.
"Gen." She stopped and turned back to me."You've still got by far the nicest arse I've ever seen."
She blushed a little, smiled at me, turned and patted the right cheek before going through the door.
The chap in the bed next to mine looked over at me. "If my wife waggled an arse like that me I'd have had a heart attack too mate. No wonder you're in here."
"She's not my wife, just a friend."
"Pull the other leg, it's got bells on. If she's just a friend, I'm a monkey's uncle. I've seen the way she looks at you. Wish she'd look at me that way. Take it from one who's been around a bit. She wants to be more than friends and if you don't do something about it you're a bigger fool than I took you for."
I thought about Eugenia. I definitely found her sexually attractive, most men would. I liked her as a person. She was fun, a bit of a spitfire at times but always fun. Was I in love with her? I didn't know. We only really knew each other from work. There had been the time that I'd helped her deal with her ex-husband but that was two years ago. That was the nearest I'd come to being part of her private life. Now it looked like she wanted to be a big part of mine
The following day my son Peter came in to see me. He seemed more than a little upset.
"What's going on dad? Where's mum? I got no reply when I rang the house and her mobile goes straight to voicemail"
"I don't know where she is, she didn't say where she was going, just walked out."
"You mean she's left you. What did you do?"
I told him almost the whole story, leaving out the bit about waiting on the track for the Exeter express. He seemed shocked as it all came out.
"Hell dad, I knew you and mum were going at it some in the bedroom I heard you some nights during the summer break. I was proud of you, I thought it was great that you were still into each other in that way."
"Peter, things aren't always what they seem. We'd been drifting apart for a long time. I think you boys were what really held us together. I recent months things had been getting better and it brought us back together. I was looking forward to happy life together. It all went wrong when I started to have problems in the bedroom. Apparently linked to the condition that put me in here. That's when I realised, she didn't want me. She wanted any man who could do the job. All the time I filled the bill it was fine, but as soon as I couldn't, she left."
"I don't believe that dad. Have you tried to talk to her? If she knew you were ill, I'm sure she'd be here."
"I can't talk to her, I don't know where she is. She hasn't been in touch with me. Were not allowed to use mobile phones in here because they reckon they interfere with the monitors. I have switched mine on a couple of times and the only missed calls are from you and David"
I gradually moved the conversation away from Erica. I told him as much as I could about my condition and assured him I would be back to normal in no time. Before he left I made him promise not to tell Erica about my illness.
"No dad, she has a right to be told. You can't expect me to keep it from her."
"OK Son, I'll meet you half way, I won't ask you to lie to her. If she asks you about me, you can tell her, but only if she asks you."
"I suppose that's fair. I get the impression you don't think she will ask."
"No I don't. She can't ask without telling you she's not living with me. I think if she was going to do that she would have done it by now."
Peter stayed with me until the afternoon. When Eugenia came in I introduced her as a work colleague. Peter gave me a questioning look but said nothing until she left us alone for a while.
"Be straight with me dad. This woman, Eugenia, does she have anything to do with mum leaving."
"No."I said emphatically. "She is a friend and colleague, and she's been very supportive to me. It was her who called you and James. When I was admitted here, I wasn't in a fit state to tell them anything. Hers was the only woman's number in my phone. The hospital thought she was my wife and called her. She's handled everything for me since then. She's been a great support but if you're thinking she was coming between me and your mother, you couldn't be more wrong. Now try to behave like the gentleman I brought you up to be."
Peter was a little warmer with Eugenia when she returned. Eugenia seemed pleased with the change in his attitude. He thanked her before he left and she gave him a peck on the cheek. She stayed with me until the evening before leaving to prepare for her next day's classes.
Over the next week I had several tests and eventually all the monitoring equipment was removed. When the surgeon came to see me I was a different man. I thanked him for the superb job he'd done keeping me in the land of the living.
"Feeling a bit more positive now Mr Johnson? Well I have some news that may make you feel even better. Our tests have shown that you have a testosterone deficiency. It's not uncommon in men of your age. The good news is we can treat it very easily. I can't promise anything but that combined with your heart condition would explain your problems in the bedroom."
"Well if you fix that for me I'll be even more grateful."
I told Eugenia when she came in that night. She teased me about whether it was working yet. She kept threatening to lift the covers and have a look. When my morning glory returned I kept it to myself. She still spent a couple of hours a day with me and insisted on talking to the doctors and made friends with all of the nurses.
I was a little surprised to find myself having to solve a problem for the ward manager. Eugenia was so popular with the nursing staff that they told her things they should not tell anyone but a relative.
"You see my problem Mr Johnson? All the staff can see that she has your best interest at heart But they shouldn't tell her the things they do, without your consent. Of course, if you were to give your permission it would solve a lot of problems for me."
"First of all sister, call me Kevin, everyone else does. Now do you need me to sign something, or will my verbal consent be enough?"
"Oh no! There's no need for it to be in writing, as long as you are happy for her to know everything."
"Well sister, I would like you to treat Ms Vanesis as you would my wife. Does that solve your problem?"
"It does indeed, thank you."
I'd been there for ten days and the soreness from the operation was starting to subside. The doctor gave me what should have been good news but left me with a problem. I was apparently fit enough to go home as long as there was someone there to care for me. The problem was, that I had no one. I didn't know whether I should lie, and go home, or tell the truth and be kept in hospital.
When Eugenia came to see me that evening, I discussed it with her.
"The doc says I can go home tomorrow, after I've had the stitches out, The problem is I've got to tell them there is someone there to take care of me. I don't like lying."
"Then don't lie."
"But that means..."
She reached out and put her finger on my lips before she asked the question that many men would give their eye teeth to hear.
"Kevin, how would you feel about me moving in with you for a while?"
"Gen, you do know I'm not supposed to exert myself don't you?"
She slapped my arm. "Of course I do, that's why I asked. The doctor say's you can go home, but only if there's someone there to look after you. I'm want to be that someone, if you'll let me. Can you cope with all that healthy Mediterranean food, and me waiting on you?"
I laughed. "Well if it means getting out of here, I'm sure I can put up with it."
"Good because if everything is alright tomorrow when they remove the stitches and I'm taking you home."
I reached out and took her hand. "Gen the other day you asked if you were just a friend as far as I'm concerned. You are a friend, a very good one, but you mean more than that to me. I'm still a bit mixed up right now. The last two weeks have been rather a lot to take in. I've been a husband too long to be thinking about relationships with other women. If you are willing to accept that this old man might fall in love with his nurse, I'd be more than pleased to have you as my nurse."
She gave me an impish grin. "You are just trying to get me in the uniform. You'll be disappointed I've not got much to burst out of the top. I've been considering a boob job."
"A boob job, why? What makes you think there's anything about you that needs enhancing?"
"But you always laughed off my advances."
"That's because I was a married man. Besides what would a beautiful woman like you want with an old fart like me."
"You see, that's what she has done to you. You can't see yourself as being attractive to women, can you? You're not old, you're forty six, that's no age at all. I've got students who think you're cute, why should I be any different? Erica treated you as if you are unattractive and you believed it."
I was taken completely by surprise. It took some believing. I'd never considered myself as anything more than ordinary looking. My hair was turning grey and I'd put on a bit of weight. What was there to find attractive? I looked into her eyes and realised she was deadly serious.
"You really mean it don't you?"
"Of course I mean it. As I said before, it takes more than a stiff dick to make a man. You are witty, charismatic and brave, but you don't see it and that makes it even more powerful. Pack that up in a package that is really quite good to look at and what girl could resist."
"She's a stupid selfish bitch. Mark my words, she'll be back but you'll be more of a fool than I take you for if you take her back."
"No Gen, I am not taking her back."
"Good, then I demand the first chance at taking her place. Give me your house keys. If you're going home tomorrow, I've got preparations to make and a nurse's uniform to buy."
She held out her hand while I rummaged through my locker and eventually produced my house keys. Her fingers closed on my keys and her other hand came up to my face. With one finger she traced down the side of my face and across my lips.
"Now you just stay healthy and I'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon."
She brought her head down to mine and kissed me. I could feel the stirrings while her hand was still on my face. By the time our lips parted I knew exactly what was happening. I looked down at the tent that had appeared in the sheets. Her gaze followed mine. She lifted the sheets and looked again.
"Looks like you're both making a good recovery." She smiled that million dollar smile at me again before leaving. As she reached the door she turned and blew me a kiss.
"She's not the wife then?" The voice came from the bed next to mine.