Hi Folks, Last year's Christmas story was full of evil pooping reindeer and a foul mouthed Santa. That's almost normal compared to this one. Those of you who are looking for a lot of sex might want to pass this one by. Those of you who want a traditional Christmas divorce story might want to follow suit. But for those of you who want to take a walk on the weird side ... Enjoy. Merry Christmas All. And thanks to Sir Charles5150 for editing this one and to Mikothebaby for continuing to inspire. SS06
It all started out the way everything did. It was a typical day in late December. I was very concerned with my last ditch effort at trying to meet my sales goals for the year. So much so, that the fact that it was only three days before Christmas had completely escaped me.
I looked around the small warehouse that my company currently occupied and settled on several of my employees who weren't busting their asses. I got off of the phone and headed for them. We weren't going to sell any car parts with them lollygagging. At the rate things were going, I'd probably have to call them back to work the day after Christmas.
At the same time that I moved towards them, a slim figure with long red curls that stretched nearly to her ass moved to intercept me. This time though, she was too late. By the time she placed one delicate hand on my shoulder to calm me down I was already in mid rant.
"Exactly how are we supposed to meet our sales goals if all of my salesmen are hanging out in the middle of the floor doing nothing?" I screamed.
"But Ev, we were trying to decide what to..." began Rob, one of my oldest employees. Rob was my older sister's son, so technically he was my nephew. The weird thing about it was that my parents had remained frisky into their later years so my nephew was actually a year older than I am.
"Were you working?" I snapped.
"Well, uh ... no, Uncle Ev," he said. His shoulders slumped and he looked down at his shoes.
"Well uh ... get your asses back to work, or nephew or not I'll fire all of you," I screamed. I was beginning to work myself into a tizzy when that same little red headed ball of fire yanked me away from the guys and back into my office.
"Evan Neezer!" she said sharply. "Exactly what are you trying to accomplish. Yelling at those guys isn't going to do anything other than make them even less likely to meet your sales goals. They're good guys and they work hard. Do you know what they were doing?" she looked at me and pushed me back down into my large comfortable office chair.
"They were trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas. We all took up a collection. Every God damned person out there whether they're in sales or production chipped in. Evan sometimes you have to roll the hard six. Sometimes you just have to back off and let what will be, just be!"
"Iris, don't start singing Doris Day songs," I snapped.
"Que Sera Sera," she sang as if taunting me. "Evan, this year has been hell in the aftermarket parts game. How many of our former competitors went out of business this year?"
Before I could answer, she was talking again. "But you got us through it. We didn't lay off a single employee and we're still holding our own. In a year like this one, I'd call that sound business planning and operation. But maybe we should let your sales goal go. Evan ... it's Christmas."
"Bah ... Humbug," I spat.
"Bah Humbug my ass," she quipped. "Evan Neezer, there's no need to be such a Scrooge."
I glared at her, balling my fists at my sides. She stood there, unflinching, as if she knew something that everyone else, me included, didn't. I let out a huge sigh and went back into my office. Behind me she shooed the salesmen back to their desks.
That little dust up was only the beginning. A short time later, just before lunch, the real storm blew.
The front door opened and a woman who at 4 foot 11 inches made Iris at 5 foot 2, seem tall. She also outweighed Iris by at least a hundred pounds. Her hair was as black as a raven's wing. It was cut short and curled inwards towards her chin. Her eyes contrasted with the dark hair. They were a beautiful pale blue. Those pale Blue eyes coupled with very red lips and a purely angelic expression gave her a type of facial beauty that made men look past the rest of her.
She was wrapped in a very full, very expensive fur coat that did a lot to trick the eye. Because of the bulk of the coat, anyone who saw her thought that she was much thinner than she was.
I knew from experience that beneath that coat she was at least as round as she appeared while wearing it. Though short, she was far from petite. Under that coat were two breasts that were larger than her head by a huge margin. Unlike a lot of bigger girls, she also had a really nice rounded butt too. Her soft and jiggly tummy might have turned some guys off, but I loved to grab it while I fucked her from behind. I also loved the feeling of being nearly crushed between those plump thighs when she was close to an orgasm.
"Ev, you were supposed to stop off and pick up donuts for the kids to take to school," she said angrily. "And my schedule has changed. I'm not going to be able to pick them up this afternoon. So you're going to have to do it. I also need one of your credit cards. Mine is past the limit again." She stood there in front of me as imperiously as if she'd been born a queen or at least elected president.
There were several things that I wanted to say, but I didn't. As usual I just reached into my wallet and gave her my card.
Anger flashed through me. "But..." I stopped almost immediately. I swallowed my words and they didn't taste good.
"Were you about to say something?" she asked. The beauty of her face twisted in her anger. "What were you going to say? I know you aren't going to say anything about me having a life or a few friends. There is no reason why you get to go out almost every day while I have to be cooped up in that house. Even your kids get to go out and go to school with their God damned money grubbing little friends." Her round frame seemed to almost vibrate as her anger grew.
I tried to calm her down but it didn't work. "I didn't say anything," I muttered.
"Fuck you, Evan Neezer," she screamed at the top volume her prodigious lungs could muster. "No I take that back ... the next time I do fuck you, Obama will be president."
"Obama is already president, Carol," I said, trying to salvage a chunk of my self-respect. Our argument had grown in volume until everyone in the office could hear us, or at least hear her.
"I'm talking about Sasha Obama," she sneered. "You treat me like some kind of slave. I'm only there to have your babies and take care of the house. Am I supposed to be your live-in sex slave and maid? I deserve to have a life, Evan. Fuck you, I want a divorce!"
That was her trump card. Whenever we were really angry, she always threatened me with a divorce. The problem was that I loved her fat ass. I loved her so much that I couldn't see life without her. I also couldn't abide being separated from my kids.
"Calm down, Carol," I said. "Go on out and do whatever you were going to do with your friends. I'll pick up the kids."
"And stop off and get them something for dinner, so I don't have to cook," she said, as she turned for the door and placed an expensive pair of designer sunglasses on her nose.
As Carol left the building, I could see some of the sales guys covering their faces or putting their heads down to disguise the fact that they were laughing at me. From the back of the room I even heard a few snickers that some of the braver ones didn't bother to try to cover up. One of them, Greg Jenkins didn't even bother to try to hide the contempt in his voice. "He can't order that fat bitch around at home so he makes up for it by ordering us around here," he said.
I looked across the office as I heard a snapping sound and then the sound of water. I saw Iris. Her face was twisted in anger clutching the pieces of her plastic water glass. She had crushed the glass in her tiny hand and the water had spilled all over her desk.
I've always heard that redheads can have a temper, but in the five years that I've known Iris, this was the first time that I'd ever seen her lose it. She stormed into my office and slammed the door behind her, before she erupted.
"That fat bitch isn't going to divorce you. She's far too smart for that. She knows that no one else on earth would want her. I'm tired of her treating you like..." She paused and looked up at me. "Sorry Evan," she said calmly. "I just lost it for a moment. It won't happen again. Please don't fire me. I love my job."
"Iris, I'd never fire you, for any reason," I said.
"Do you mean that?" she asked, smiling. I just nodded.
"Iris, I need to get out of here for a bit," I said. "I need to calm down. If I'm not back by two thirty could you pick my kids up for me?"
"Me?" She asked smiling again. "Of course, I love your kids." She acted as if picking my kids up was some kind of honor and not just another task.
I gripped her shoulder affectionately, then grabbed my keys and headed for the door. On the way out I avoided eye contact with the men in the office. After leaving the office I wound my way through the shop floor and around several of the manufacturing cells. A few of my long time employees waved at me. I waved back, from force of habit, while trying to keep my anger from showing until I was clear of the building.
.... There is more of this story ...