I woke up in the strange bed of a white American man. I don't remember why or how I got here. I started out being sent to America to meet my new husband. I was to be bought and paid for but it is all a little fuzzy in my head, but now I was not with a nice Korean man, it was a white American.
I know he did things to me, and I hurt between my legs, so he must have done something to me. But what do I do? I am afraid and I want to go home. I don't speak American so I am really afraid.
I am being held by the man. He is not trying to hurt me but he is holding me. Now he is awake and looking at me, he is smiling, at least I think he is smiling. Now he is holding me closer.
What do I feel? Oh, it is his thing and he is moving against me. Until last night I have never known a man and now I am sure that he had sex with me and he wants to do it again.
He is much bigger than I am. I am only 87 pounds and four foot ten, small even for a Korean girl. At eighteen I look like I am twelve. I have no real breasts, just little bumps, but he is enjoying playing with them. Should I let him continue? How can I stop him even if I wanted to? What do I mean "even if I wanted to?" he is touching my private places, I have to want to stop him, don't I?
The touching feels really nice and even with morning breathe I like his kissing too. I am going to have sex again, I know it! Have I been sold as a sex slave? Am I now a prostitute in America? Why don't I remember anything?
He is touching me still. I feel his manhood pressing against my special place. It is touching that little bump I am not supposed to touch. Why can't I touch there, it feels so good when the man is doing it with his thing.
I feel him pressing to me, now he is touching my leg, moving it over his. Now I can feel his thing pushing into me. It seems to be going in. I think I am a little wet down there maybe that is why it is going in. Now it is deeper inside of me. It does not hurt right now so he must have already taken my innocence. I must be a prostitute to be lying in bed with man who is not my husband and he is having sex with me.
But it is not really bad, it sort of feels good, now I am on my back and he is pushing deeper inside of me. He is sucking on my small breasts just like a baby does. They disappear when I lay on my back but he finds them anyway. It does feel nice, I think I like what he is doing. I must be a whore to like this. He is deep inside of me now, I feel tingling deep inside. He is smiling at me and now he is kissing me, putting his tongue into my mouth. I like this too. I must be a whore to like this.
Oh, this is wonderful, and I really like it a lot. Oh I like it so very much. I am shaking and he is shaking too. I feel him getting bigger for me and now, oh it is so wet there now. He puts my legs up over his shoulders and bends me over and "Oh God, Oh God" his shooting into me is making me cum, and oh this is the best I have ever felt in my life. I scream out very bad things in Korean.
Now he is almost laying on me, he is very heavy. Now he rolls over and I am laying on him, he is still inside of me; but now he is smaller.
My name is Kyung Mi, which means "Honored and beauty." How much honor do I have as a prostitute having sex with a strange man in a room I don't know? And yes I even screamed out bad things when I tingled.
Still the man is not too old, it is impossible to guess the age of white people. But he is probably not more than twenty five or thirty.
He is picking me up, why is he doing this? I can't talk to him, I do not know American. He is carrying me into the bathroom and he is getting into a tub of hot water with me. Why isn't he washing first, this is wrong. You cannot get into a tub of hot water when you are dirty. He puts me in with him. He is still holding me and now he is very nice and washes me. Americans have some very strange things they do. Do they always wash their prostitutes? Do they wash them first too? That seems to be most reasonable, wash first, then sex.
Now he is getting affectionate again. Is that the right word for this? He is back into me again, and he is touching me all over. I sort of like it. Why would I like it? He is still tender with me, so he must not be a bad man.
Oh he is making me scream again. Oh yes I like this very much.
We are finished, and we are tired so we sleep again. When I wake this time he has shaved and brushed his teeth, he smells nice now. He rubs my stomach and makes a motion to his mouth; hungry he is asking me if I am hungry. I move my head up and down to let him know yes. We start to get dressed but it takes a long time. I am embarrassed but he keeps taking my clothes off as I put them on. He is touching me all over again and kissing me all over too.
Now he is kissing me between my legs "Oh this really feels nice, even better than nice." He is doing very naughty things to me licking me and sucking my private place, "Oh I am going to make noise again."
Later I ask him if I can call Korea by showing him the phone and saying the name "Korea" and he shakes his head yes. Then he hands me a cell phone and I make the call.
I speak to my parents in Korean. My parents tell me that they have gotten the money and that I have to stay with the man. I have been found not desirable by the man I was supposed to marry and I have been sold to someone else. I tell them it is a white American, not even a Korean American, and that he has been doing very bad things to me and that I want to come home. They tell me I would shame them if I come home and that I must stay even if I am a prostitute. I want to cry but I am afraid the man will be angry with me. The family is ashamed of me for being such a lowly woman but I have to live with my shame.
I am resigned to my fate. I am sad, but now the man wants to eat so I dress. Even if I am a prostitute I am a proper Korean woman and I dress properly. He smiles at me and we go and eat. We go to a Korean place and I am happy but I am afraid they will know I am a new prostitute. They must know I am a new prostitute, they keep congratulating me. Do they congratulate new whores in America?
Still I must do what I must do. I will make the best of it. I hope my next customer is as nice as this man. I know that I will have to be with many men, we know these things even in Korea.
He points to himself and says "Frank" and pointing to me I say "Kyung Mi." He smiles at me. Stupid name, I should never be called "Kyung" that means honor and I have none; I have been sold as a whore. My sisters will laugh at me and my family will be shamed in the village and the towns.
He takes me around the place called Las Vegas where he first defiled me. There are people drunk and other whores like me, but with big breasts and very tall and blond. He does not appear to care for them but he is American and a small Asian woman will not hold his attention for long.
We visit a place with a lot of water and take pictures; it is called Hoover dam. He has someone tell me in Korean that he has movies of our first night and if I want to see them. I tell him no. Why would I want to see my precious honor being taken like a whore? What kind of man would keep such things? He must be even worse than I thought.
He notices my immigration documents and takes them all and we go to a government office. He is handing them papers and having me sign things. I do not speak American and I am afraid of the government. I do what he indicates. He points and using a pen shows a writing motion, so I do it.
Then we go out to eat and we walk around Las Vegas. He holds my hand so I cannot walk behind him. He smiles at me a lot. Why shouldn't he be happy, I am his personal whore? Then we go back to home but it takes a long time in the car and I get to see America. I have travel guide in Korean and can tell where we are. Every night he does sex things with me. I have to do that, I am a whore now. I even suck his thing and drink his stuff. He likes to kiss me down there and even does it after he does sex with me. He makes me kiss him after he does that too.
Well when he touches and kisses me, and when I do it to him, it is not all that bad, well maybe it is not bad at all. I always have a good time and I wonder if that makes me a whore? I scream at least once a day.
Then we got home. It was a nice home in a clean neighborhood. It was not like our home, Frank and I have lots of room and land. He has a pool and a Jacuzzi and four bedrooms and a big kitchen and, well there was so much to the house. I did not know how to speak American but I finally understood it was just ours and no one else lived with us.
He took me in every room, and he is a very bad man to make me scream in kitchen and other rooms. I should only scream in bedroom with lights off but he makes me scream all the time in many places with lights on. I think he likes to look at me naked, and his thing gets big when I get naked, then I scream and he smiles. I smile too after I scream, I must be a whore.
Then he took me to the Korean center so that I could meet other Korean women. They told me that he said we were married, even though I knew we were not, so he was trying to help me save face; that is a good thing.
He goes to work every day and I called his office once and they had a lady there who spoke some Korean and I asked her if Frank was married and she said he was. I was shocked, how could he be with me and be married. America is a very strange country.
.... There is more of this story ...