When it came down to the nut-cutting, she really didn't give me many choices at all: Accept, adapt, or move on.
"Honey," she asked, "do you see Ted much any more? Any golf?"
That's all it took to make her point. Ted had been my best buddy and golf partner since high school. After divorce he was a broke and broken man. No cash for green fees. Too much pride to allow me to pick up a lunch check. Working all the overtime he could get, he had no time to stop for a beer or barbeque. He spent life in a squalid room that no old friend would ever be allowed to see.
"Bob, do you know how much a divorce would cost our kids?"
Damn straight I knew! Who the Hell doesn't? Who didn't have a friend or neighbor kid who went through the agony of their parents' divorce? How many had ever really healed?
"I know how you feel about our home and our marrage bed. I'll never bring anyone here. We have my parents'cottage on the lake. Unless you want to participate, you'd never need to know."
Yeah, I'd never know. I'd never know what the next man who stopped by my office, or took the barstool next to mine would have to say. Would he tell me how she'd begged him to fill her sucking mouth or tight ass? Tell me what he did for her that I couldn't? Tell me that she needed him so much that he had to take her from me?
"I love you more than ever. You've still got me, anywhere, anytime, anyhow you want. There's nothing wrong with you, or us. I still love to get off on your tongue and fingers and big cock, but I need more. I know you do too. I want to share that more with you, but I'll fill my needs without you, if I must."
Fuck no, I didn't want more! I wanted what we had when we married. I wanted what I thought we'd had for the past ten years. I knew I'd never have it again, maybe never did.
"Honey, it seems like I've been talking for hours, and you haven't said a word."
"Joan..." I tried but I broke down and bawled, like the sad assed wimp and cuckold I'd become. "I'm about to hurl. I need to get shit-faced drunk. I need to convince myself not to drive into a bridge abutment on the way to work tommorrow." Yeah, I'd been thinking about that. I had good insurance. Double indemnity would twice fill the hole where I'd been in our family.
"Come to bed baby. Everything will look better in the morning."
My boss Dan, with his wife Elanore, stopped by my desk at quitting time. "We'd like to invite you to a party this evening," he said. "I've hired entertainment, and I promise fun, good music, and good food and drink. He left to answer a call. Elanore came around the desk, leaned over and showed me her cleavage. She whispered in my ear. My cock still remembered that sensation. "I still remember what we got up to in the backseat of your old Chevy," she purred, and caressed my cheek.
The house was empty when I got home, Joan out, the kids at her parents. I drank some scotch. I rembered Elanore. I remembered how free and cocky I felt when we ditched condoms and went on the pill. I remembered how manly and powerful I felt when I fucked her after her dates with Dan. Her party was as good as anywhere to be. I didn't want to drive. Dan's place was only two blocks away, the cottage another quarter mile.
.... There is more of this story ...