The kitchen floor was so goddamn gross I decided to mop it. After bashing at it with a broom. A guy living alone, that's when things got cleaned. I reminded myself, yet again, to do it more often, so that it wasn't such a fucking chore when I finally got around to it.
I'd just sat down on the sofa, exhausted by my efforts, when the phone rang. The floor was now spotless, and all the cleaning crap was put away, and I wouldn't have objected to sliding into a little nap. I picked up the phone, and saw it was Mom; I answered anyway. She had this ability, like a superpower, that could somehow bypass voice mail. When Mom called, the phone just fucking rang until you picked it up.
"What's this weekend?" she brayed.
"Um, a Saturday and a Sunday?"
"It's your sister's birthday, silly! So what are you getting her?"
Um, nothing. "Um, nothing."
"Nothing?" she screeched.
It was a kindness Jill and I had settled on when we were in our early teens.
"But don't you remember that horse statue you gave her? She cherished that gift."
Except she hadn't. She'd turned thirteen and was over horses. Horses, after all, weren't boys. A few months later, when I turned fifteen, she'd given me some new cool outfit for my G.I. Joes, which'd spent the last year and a half in a stray cardboard box in the attic markered "War Dolls". That was the year we made our covenant.
"I'll probably take her out to dinner or something," I offered. Then I went on the offensive. "What did you get her?" As if I couldn't guess.
"I got her a lovely sweater, and a nice pair of wool socks, now that it's moving towards winter."
My sister was born the second of September, so usually summer had barely sat back down. Credit due, Jill always kept the sweaters for a few months, wearing them several times in front of Mom, before stuffing them in the bags for DAV. The socks--I'd seen her--she dropped straight in the trash. "Why would anyone wear itchy socks? I'd rather lose a couple toes to frostbite."
I was on the verge of saying stuff to that effect when I decided to shut my stupid mouth and be a kind son.
"Did you hear what Chloe got her?"
No, I hadn't. Jill's birthday fell on Labor Day weekend, and Chloe had secured some sort of cabin retreat for them. Mom ended her tale with a long upbeat sigh. "I just think it's so nice that Jill has such a great friend in Chloe."
I again held my tongue. About how it'd be an extended weekend of pussy licking. Both Jill and Chloe weren't wasted for guys, but they obviously enjoyed a special friendship. I didn't care about any of that. Other than in the guy-abstract. Chloe's DNA gave her a big chest drawing everyone's eyes. Though to be honest, my sister, from what I saw through shirts, though smaller, had way hotter tits.
I felt weird thinking such thoughts, and all the while Mom went on blah-de-fucking-blah. I was tired of the couch. I was thinking of my bed. An afternoon nap was sounding really good to me. Maybe I'd descend into that by first jacking off while thinking about Jill and Chloe in a cabin. I was that depraved.
Mom had apparently tired of me as well. The call came to a quick end. I did in fact get off the couch and go curl up in bed. I lay there thinking about breasts, and got pretty hard, but then I fell asleep.
I dreamt of other terrible horrible things--when I jolted awake, all I wanted was coffee. To cleanse myself with such an elixir.
I was barely on my first mug, when the phone rang again.
This time it was Chloe.
I'd met her and all that, enough to guess at her friendship with my sister. They complemented one another nicely. I frankly didn't care what other people did, being not my business. Chloe was no doubt hot, but I'd never been around her long enough to chug up the old charm machine. There was no reason for her to be calling me. We'd never, even incidentally, been connected by phones.
We were chatting along when she brought up the cabin thing. Thing was ... she invited me to join them. She said it in such a sultry tone--extending the invitation--it was like she'd pulled up her shirt. Of course I said yes! while really expecting nothing in return. Call it the undying optimism of the truly subservient gender. When the hen says, "Dance!" you better motherfuckin' dance.
She was telling me that they'd be bringing the provisions, when her voice went low. "But if you have any manly attributes to contribute, feel free to pack them along. Like an axe, or maybe a posthole digger," she started giggling. Instantly even her breathing was almost completely muted. And then, clear as a bell, like a hand had moved from the mouthpiece, I heard my sister lightly declare, "Who are you teasing now you little slut?"
A question left unanswered as the line went dead. I thought about what I should do. Alert the police? Alienate my sister? I decided to do nothing. I was just this guy who'd answered his phone. My only question was whether it was worth the bother to try to continue the interrupted nap.
I gave up on that when the phone rang again maybe twenty minutes later, just as my eyelids were sealing shut.
It was Jill, who hadn't phoned me since well before she met Chloe. We weren't a telephone family. In her sweetest voice, she basically echoed Chloe's original invitation, without the mention of my posthole digger.
I happily accepted the second invitation. It felt funny talking to and agreeing with Jill about how much fun it would be. The throb in my pants was doing all my voting. I was voting with the throb in my pants. Sisters might be off-limits, but hell--their friends weren't! As if that ever worked out.
They picked me up Friday after work. I was all packed. I even came packing a bow saw and a hatchet. My sister laughed at me when I came back having gone back for that. "We're going to a cabin for the weekend. Not out in the wilderness for the rest of our lives."
I shrugged and finished loading the trunk. "Chloe said there was a real fireplace. You have to come prepared to do mighty battle. I know I want a fire. You can't expect the trees to just shrug and waltz in through the door and lay down on the hearth.
Chloe gave a melodious laugh. "I just adore a man who's thoughtful enough to come packing all his tools." We both blushed, as did my sister. I didn't know what was going on. I clambered into the backseat, and all the tensions evaporated.
It was like I was a rat, having taken the bait, waiting for the effect.
The drive was barely over an hour, though nearly two after we stopped for dinner. I kept poking my head up between the seats to participate in the conversations, though also to catch peeps down Chloe's cleavage. She flirted right back at me. I knew it was all a delusion, an illusion--I'd never get to undress that. Certainly not this particular weekend.
But then Jill would take advantage of any silence to drive the two us into some memory of when we were kids, cutting Chloe out completely.
I began wondering if they'd even be sharing a bed. I was certainly hoping that my little vacation didn't turn into me adjudicating their stupid fucking lesbian squabbles. I didn't know the case law, nor common law regarding such stuff. I wasn't qualified to speak of what two girls choose to do.
I wouldn't deny that all the long ride I didn't sit there with my head leaned against the window, vaguely thinking about Chloe. If she did indeed break from my sister, maybe she'd like to find succor in the arms of her former lover's brother?
That notion seemed just perverse enough. I'd noticed her well before. Who wouldn't want to bang their sister's hot girlfriend? Give a girl the cock she's been missing, while staying close to the DNA.
When we got to the cabin, it was a lot smaller, indeed rustic, than I'd imagined. Or had been led to imagine. It was basically one large room. It did have the big hearth. On one side, a doorway opened into a galley kitchen; a stub of a hallway on the other led to three doors. But there was only one bedroom, bearing a pair of beds. Doors number two and three were the bathroom and a closet. The beds weren't quite twin-sized, though each a bit too comfy to comfortably sleep two. Maybe the girls would let me have one, but I was betting on the broken down sofa facing the fireplace.
That was fine by me. I dropped my bag in a near corner of the main room. I doubted the closet held much in the way of extra blankets, so at least I'd have the fire. Maybe it was the elevation, maybe it was a freak weather front, but for early September it was getting downright chilly as the sun started dipping behind the hills.
There were a few logs stacked by the hearth, but nothing enough to last an hour. Besides, you can't just strike a match and stick it against a log and hope to be happy and warm.
While I had just the one bag, the girls had packed the trunk full. Sure, they had brought all the provisions, but still they each had multiple bags of personal items. I could've been a gentleman and helped their unloading--Jill said as much.
I laughed and paraphrased. "We're at a cabin for the weekend, not in the wilderness for the rest of our lives. I fit all the clothes I'll need in one bag..."
"We're girls," Jill huffed, "we have more stuff!"
I reached into the trunk and retrieved my saw and hatchet. "Well, you girls will finally appreciate that I brought my tools--there's only two logs inside."
Chloe sort of tittered, "I'm sure we'll be needing much more than two logs before this weekend is through!"
.... There is more of this story ...