"Mmmmmm. What I'd give for this moment to last forever. Lynn, you'll never know how much I appreciate the way you braid my hair. Talk about pampering!!"
"Hey, Angie, what do you think a best friend is for?" I responded.
"I think this is just an added bonus. I'm lousy at braiding my own hair, and my mom is anything but gentle."
"I hate to admit it, Angie, but I'm actually being selfish, as I love running my fingers through your long silky hair."
"Now, if I could only find a guy to pamper me like this."
"Angie, you're only 18. Have some patience. I know what you have to offer, and some guy is going to be a very lucky fellow"
"Well, you're 18, also, and you have John."
"That may be true, but I went through more than my share of selfish losers before meeting him. Guys like you; it's just a matter of time."
"Yeah, Lynn, guys like me. I'm just one of the guys. That's the problem: I'm too much like one of the guys. For all they care, I'm just a guy with long hair. The most intimate they care to get with me is to show off how much larger their boobs are than mine, and I hate the fact that it is true."
"Angie, I know you have that rare genetic disorder that prevents you from developing breasts or growing pubic hair, but you are still all female. The right guy won't see you as defective."
"But I am defective. Why didn't my mom just abort me when she found out she was carrying a girl? She knew her chance of passing this disorder to me was high. She knew how it pained her all her life to be defective like me. Does she expect me to just marry the first guy that will tolerate me, just like she did? I wish I was never born."
"Well, I've seen your nipples, and they're probably the prettiest nipples I've ever seen."
"That's right, Lynn, order sunny side up and get served an egg yolk."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Angie. I've never grown larger than an A-cup, and John seems to enjoy them. He says large-breasted girls aren't anywhere near as enjoyable as being with someone who clearly shares her enjoyment with him and shows appreciation for his attention and affection. As I've heard, it's not what you have but how you use what you have that will make you special."
"But you have something. They may not be big, but there is something to hold onto. I believe the few guys who actually took me on a date only did so as I was an oddity, and they were curious to see how flat I actually am. I am so tired of the surfboard comments. I don't want a guy who feels sorry for me or has a freak fetish, yet who can see beyond my lack of breasts?"
"Angie, what if I was to fix you up with someone who would appreciate you for the amazing person you are? Would you be willing to date him and take the time to see if the two of you could be compatible?"
"No!! I won't get my hopes up and invest, again. It hurts too much, when I discover this one is just like all the rest. My life has been filled with too many disappointments already. I don't even bother to fantasize about guys any more. Lynn, maybe I'll just live my life as a lesbian."
"There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but I know how much you yearn to feel special in the arms of a guy, so you'd just end up resenting your female partners for not being men. It seems like you're setting yourself up for failure. If you never date, you'll definitely not find someone who sees you as special."
"Lynn, you have to understand. I can't allow myself to care, before I'm sure the guy can truly make love to me without seeing me as a freak. Maybe it would be putting the cart before the horse, but I can't continue to head off down paths that lead nowhere. The problem is though I can probably find guys who are willing to lay the freak, I have no idea how to find the right guy for me?"
"Hmmm. Maybe there is a way. Angie, how do you choose which new restaurant to go to?"
"That's simple; I read the reviews."
"But, how would you know the reviewer's taste is similar to yours?"
"You've got a point there, Lynn. Am I stuck with a roll of the dice?"
"What if you knew the reviewer and that person had a deep understanding of your tastes, would that make a difference?"
"Sure it would, but where would I place the ad to find this reviewer?"
"Well, let's start with a list of those people who know you best."
"That won't take long. There is only one person who knows and understands my deepest thoughts and feelings ... you. But I don't see John comfortable with you bedding a bunch of guys to choose the right one for me."
"Who says I'd need to sleep with them? You always say I'm the most observant person you've ever met, the one who sees things no one else can see. I've been developing my observation skills since I was very young. What if I choose someone for you, and he is willing to accept your requirement of sex first, relationship following? Would you go along with this scenario?"
"Lynn, I'm not sure. I've never bucked the norm before, and I'm petrified he'll laugh at me or reject me. That would be the ultimate in humiliation. Also, I doubt I can freely share with someone, if I don't feel safe. I'd hate to put myself in a vulnerable situation and end up being taken advantage of or hurt."
"What if I am present during your encounter? You know I won't allow anyone to hurt you."
"Would you, Lynn? Would you truly do all this for me?"
"Angie, it would be an honor if you'd let me help you find the happiness you deserve."
"Lynn, you're the best friend ever. Though this scares me to death, I also find it exciting. With all your amazing empathy, caring sensitivity and observation skills, do you believe I have what it takes to follow through and make this work? Do you feel I have enough to offer someone, that my lack of breasts won't get in the way?"
"You know me, Angie. Do you feel I have it in me to put you in danger or set you up for failure?"
"No, Lynn, I know you would never allow something to happen that you didn't feel would be right for me. You're the first person I've ever truly and completely trusted, and I always feel safe in your hands. Let's do it. Just one thing, though; I don't want to know anything about the guy in advance, because I don't want my mind to make assumptions that would lead me to build unrealistic expectations leading to disappointment. Just do your research, and then let me know when the one you have chosen has accepted this challenge."
I held my arms out, and Angie eagerly accepted my embrace. We hugged for a long time, just swaying to and fro. Eventually, I felt moisture dripping down my neck. I quickly realized it was from Angie's tears. I sat her down next to me on my bed, blotted her tears with my favorite stuffed Teddy Bear, and then we were back in each other's arms with tears flowing from her eyes and mine.
"I love you, Angie"
"Not as much as I love you," she blubbered back.
Two weeks later, on our college campus
"Hi Angie. How's your class?"
"It's fascinating, and I'm really enjoying it. It started off good and seems to just get better, almost like our friendship. I love learning both the medicine part and the people skills part, and I look forward to becoming a paramedic."
"I'm glad you are enjoying it. I want you to enjoy all your life's choices. Talking about choices, I think it's time for an update on the challenge you gave me. I have been observing everyone I know or encounter, and I made my final choice."
"What was his reaction? Was he scared away by my proposition? Was I totally weird to him?"
"Angie, you know I wouldn't even consider anyone I believe would react negatively or inappropriately. I told him all about how I see you: your beauty, your intelligence, your quirks, your sensitivity and your humanity. You are exactly the type of woman he has always dreamed of, and he looks forward to both giving you what you seek and then getting to know you as well as I know you, if not better. He did tell me he wants to make sure I inform you he is just a normal guy, so don't build him up in your mind to be bigger than life, and don't fear you'll disappoint him."
"Does he know what I look like? Did you show him a picture of me?"
"Yes, he knows what you look like, and he loves my favorite picture of you, the one where you're wearing that impish grin. He said if he hired a police artist to draw his ideal woman, the picture would look just like you."
"This doesn't sound real. I'm still scared and excited and loaded with mixed feelings; yet trust you with my heart and soul. Let's not delay this too long, so I don't get cold feet."
"Angie, with this being Thanksgiving week, I think Friday night would probably be ideal. You'll have some time to unwind from school and some time to savor the experience before you return to school. Does that work for you?"
"I have no plans for this weekend, other than Thanksgiving meal with my family, so Friday sounds perfect."
"Angie, my parents are both going to spend this weekend with their best friends. I told them I had plans and begged off, so my place would be the ideal location. Let's meet Friday morning, as I want to take you shopping before I prepare you for your evening encounter."
"You are exceeding my expectations. I don't want to put you out."
"I'm probably as excited as you and looking forward to our special day together."
Angie grabbed my hands, looked into my eyes and said, "Lynn, you are the best friend anyone could ever want. What have I done to deserve someone so special?"
.... There is more of this story ...