Boom!!! Boom!!! Boom!!!
"Under attack" flashed through my mind. Where am I? What's happening? My awareness is hazy, yet my body flows with adrenaline. Slowly, I realize I'm not experiencing the war movie we watched last night, but the most intense thunderstorm of my life. I am shaking like a leaf and can't stop.
"Tommy ... I need my Tommy" is all I can think about, as I'm drawn from my deep sleep. I run, as fast as my little feet can carry me, into his room.
"Tommy ... Please" is all I need to say.
"Hop in LT" he calmly says.
"Hold me tight," I beg, needing his help to stop my shaking.
I nuzzle my back into him. His arm closes in around my waist, as he draws me closer. This is the safety belt I need. Though lightening and thunder seem almost simultaneous, triggering gasps and contractions in me, my shaking slowly subsides.
Let me take some time, here, to tell you about Tommy and me. Our parents are very loving, caring people. They both work long hours, yet Tommy has always been there for me. He has been my guide, my protector, my source of comfort. He turned 16 a few months back, while I just had my 14th birthday.
Though everyone calls him Tom, I've always called him Tommy. Originally, he thought I used that name just because that's the way little kids talk, but I informed him the truth was I felt so close to him I couldn't separate him from me, so I would always say Tom-Me. He's called me LT as far back as I can remember. Once I asked him the reason he doesn't call me Lynn, like everyone else, as my name is Lynn Turner. He whispered in my ear, "Because you've always been my Little Treasure." I didn't think I could ever feel closer to him, but I did, from that moment on.
I always thought of Tommy as big and strong, though, compared to other boys his age, he is probably on the slender side. Everyone in our family is on the slender side, though I've always viewed myself as skinny. I always thought Tommy could do things I couldn't, due to his being big and strong. He taught me this wasn't true. He taught me strength comes from our head, not from our muscles. He taught me how to be observant and discover the most effective and efficient solutions to any challenge. He opened my eyes, allowing me to discover so many wonderful things all around me. This is the reason I see him as my guide.
He has also helped me to see myself more realistically. Yes, I've attended the sex education classes offered at school, but I've always just seen myself as this skinny, shapeless being. I knew I was a girl, but I never associated that with sex. As girls started getting attention when they developed breasts, I asked him if I would ever have breasts. He reassured me all women in our family have small breasts, so rather than be weighted down by big boobs that will eventually sag to my waist and cause me back pain, I'd have beautiful, small mounds proudly displayed on my chest. He told me, in his eyes, no one would ever be prettier than me. Though I felt as feminine as a rag doll, he gave me hope. He's never lied to me, so how could I not trust him?
I see him as my protector, as he has always been there to open my eyes to potential obstacles. Though I can't say he has kept me from having any bumps or bruises, he has protected me from any significant damage. At school, he has discouraged bullies from picking on me. At home, he stands up and accepts responsibility when our parents get upset and accuse me of doing something he did. He has also helped me to stand up and accept responsibility for my actions, teaching me I'll be stronger by accepting responsibility than by denying it.
I can't even begin to list all the times he has been my comfort, from kissing my booboos to giving me a shoulder to cry on. Whenever I need a hug, he is there for me. He gently touches me when I need to be soothed. He educates me when I am afraid, causing my fears to melt away. He is my lightening rod that dissipates all stress and anxiety from my being.
Lying in Tommy's arms is so familiar and comforting. I can't say how many times I've found myself there. His strength and warmth reassure me all will be fine. I have no doubts when I am with him.
I become aware something is different, this time. As my final little shudders fade away, I become aware of something growing larger and harder between my butt cheeks.
Nudity has never been an issue in our family. It's not that anyone parades around in the nude, but no one has ever overreacted when they were accidentally walked in on, while in a state of undress. I remember my sex education teacher explaining how the man's penis gets erect when he is aroused, but I've never seen an erect penis and never thought of Tommy getting aroused. I've known it was normal, but just never thought about it. I move my butt, a little, to explore the new experience. Tommy nuzzles my neck and gives me a little kiss. He is so gentle and loving.
A new sensation starts flowing through me. I'm not really sure how to describe it. Just by being unknown, there is a scary aspect to it, yet I don't feel scared. I feel energy growing inside of me. I sense a tingling emanating from my skin, primarily between my legs and at my breasts. I savor the sensation, lost in the moment. A door has opened; do I dare explore? With no one other than Tommy would I feel safe to explore what is happening to me.
Slowly, I turn over to face Tommy. I look deep into his eyes. I become aware of a change in our breathing, deeper and more urgent. I raise my hand and touch his cheek. It is so hot, yet I know he isn't sick. I silently and gently explore his face with my hand and fingers. Though his face is engraved in my memory, I realize I've never actually seen him, before. Can my hands truly see more clearly than my eyes? Time seems to be standing still, as I see my beloved brother for the first time.
I become aware of the fact I am wearing a cotton nightgown, while Tommy is just wearing his boxers. How unfair it seems to me. I raise my nightgown over my head and toss it on the floor. I lie facing him in just my panties. We share a knowing smile. I put my arms around him and draw our bodies close together. I've seen him in swim trunks when we've gone swimming together, but never before have I experienced this electrical charge flowing between us. This feels so right, yet so intense. I run my hands up and down his back, as if I'm seeing him for the first time. He gives me a tender little kiss on my nose, then upon my forehead, and then I sense his lips barely touching my lips. His touch is like a feather, yet I feel a connection like never before.
"Please let me see you," I ask. Tommy rolls onto his back, and I lower the blanket to his waist. We are both exposed from the waist up. I know I'm not a woman, yet, and can't say I'm much to look at, but my budding breasts have recently stopped being tender to the touch, and I know Tommy thinks I'm pretty. I raise myself up on one arm, and my hair flows over my protruding nipples, leading me to experience a new, yet nice, sensation.
I start at his hair, and patiently discover Tommy for the first time. Just as he taught me to discover and appreciate nature, using all of my senses, I am discovering and appreciating all aspects of Tommy. I feel his hair on my face and hands. I smell its clean scent and experience its silky smoothness. I become aware of how it feels to my cheeks, my chin, my lips and my tongue. I view my surroundings through the veil of his hair and feel safe in my nest.
His face is next, as I discover all the endless ways of experiencing my Tommy. I can't believe how I see a new dimension just by exploring with the back of my hand rather than my palm. I put my cheek on his and feel our warm softness blend together, molding into each other and becoming one. I find I enjoy exploring with my lips more than anything else. They are so sensitive and pick up subtle differences. I truly see his eyes, as I've never seen them before. His ears have so many interesting paths, like the slides at the waterslide park. I explore where his hair meets his face, experiencing all the variations along the entire border. I slide my nose up one side of his and then down the other. I sense I'm skiing down a powdery slope. Never before have I even thought of kissing anyone, yet it seems so natural for our lips to caress each other. I place his lower lip between mine and then glide from one side to the other. I taste his lips and explore the changes in texture from the dry, smooth peach fuzz on his chin to the light crinkly texture of his lips to the moist silky smoothness as they transition into his mouth. How could I have been so unaware of so much for so long? I feel like someone who was born blind and was just given sight.
I take my time exploring more. I am absorbing the knowledge of my discoveries as I experience his skin, muscles, bones and reactions. I love when he jumps reflexively when I locate a particular sensitive spot, learning how I touch him, or with what part I touch him, determines his reaction. It's like reading a book with endless options, allowing you to take it in any direction you choose. I love discovering my impact on him. I had always viewed him as the one who had impact on me. This discovery is empowering, yet humbling, at the same time. I love the variety of scents, tastes and textures. None are distasteful. I feel drawn in and desirous. His neck and shoulders have more muscle definition than I had anticipated. It is interesting how everything fits together so beautifully. He is an even more amazing piece of art than the greatest sculptures of the world, and I can't believe how much I am enjoying this exploration and discovery. I play with the few hairs on his chest and then watch his nipples stand tall and reach out to me when my tongue strokes them. His responsiveness is exciting. I straddle him and paint his chest with my auburn hair. I see his reactions preceding the flow of my mane, like a surfer riding a large wave. I discover some more hairs on his belly and play with his navel. I love the warm feeling that flows through me, and I am aware of the moist spot that seems to be growing on my panties.
I lean back and say, "Not that I have much to offer, but would you like to touch me?"
"There's nothing I would love more," he responds.
I lean over and plant a tender kiss on his lips then whisper into his ear, "then I am yours, my love, to enjoy."
I lie back, feeling totally exposed and vulnerable, yet totally desirous of whatever is to come. I am his, body and soul.
Tommy runs his fingers through my flowing hair and then buries his face deep within it. I hear subtle whimpering and draw his face close to mine. I see tears in his eyes, though his smile leads me to understand they aren't tears of pain or sadness.
"I love you so much, LT," whispers Tommy.
"And there's no way you can doubt my love for you, Tommy," I respond.
"I know; that's what makes me so happy," he replies.
I give him a big hug, and then whisper kiddingly in his ear, "Have you become bored and lost interest in your exploration, already?"
Bringing his hand down and giving me a light tap on the side of my butt cheek, he said, "Don't give up on me so easily, you sexy woman."
Sexy woman? Never had I imagined myself being seen by anyone as a sexy woman. I thought I was just a scrawny girl. As he moves his body on me, I have no doubt he speaks the truth. I can feel his engorged manhood and desire and know they are meant only for me.
Returning to his exploration, he explores me as I explored him. Though I always enjoyed how his gentle touch soothed me when I was stressed or upset, I had no idea how wonderful it would feel to be pampered in this way.
Upon returning to exploring my face, he shares a new experience. With his lips on mine, I find his tongue entering my mouth. I had heard about French kissing, but had no idea how to do it, so fear I might do something wrong and disappoint him. Taking it slowly, we both get used to the sensation, and it becomes natural. Breaking away from our kiss, Tommy says, "You know neither of us have had any experience being intimate with anyone, so we will learn together what works for us. There is nothing you could do that will disappoint me or lead me to reject you. You are amazing, and I want to do everything in my power to convince you of that."
"You are. You are, Tommy. I never dreamed I would ever truly feel like an adored woman, but I do feel it now. You are the amazing one and I'll never be able to thank you enough for loving me the way you do."
Tommy continues to explore. As he approaches my breasts, I say, "There's not much there."
Tommy looks at me, with a shocked look on his face, and says, "How can you say that? You are perfect. The proof is in how they feel, not how big they are." Caressing me, he asks, "Can you honestly tell me these don't work amazingly well?"
Gasps come out of my mouth, like a woman preparing for childbirth. Finally, I am able to squeeze a word out, and in jagged gasps proclaim, "I was wrong." Nothing else can come from my mouth, so I just attempt to smile.
"Let's say there are a million nerve endings on each breast. Which would you prefer, having those million nerve endings diluted out over a basketball sized breast or over these luscious mounds of responsive pleasure?"
I can say nothing. My head just rolls around as if I am unable to determine yes from no or up from down. I just grab onto Tommy and hold on tight. If I'm going to be on this ride, I'll not be bucked off.
Lowering his head to my breast, he kisses sensitivity I never knew could exist. When his lips finally close onto my nipple, and he starts suckling, I am amazed to learn how the sensation shoots straight to my crotch. I can feel my juices flow out between my legs. Time ceases; I am lost and never want to be found.
When he finally takes a break, and my breathing settles down, I ask, "What just happened?"
"Did I hear something from that person who claims she isn't a woman?" he jokingly says.
I push him playfully and say, "Calling me a liar, again?"
"You betcha," he gloats.
I grab him and hold him closely, passionately kissing the one I love. "I may be a fool," I say, "but you've done a good job of teaching me I can learn to see reality." I quietly look at him for a while, and then say softly, "Thank you, Tommy."
Tommy continues to explore, and I continue to learn things about myself I never knew existed. I am experiencing dimensions I can't imagine existing before. I love learning about myself, and I love learning about Tommy. I love we are learning together and sharing the joy of our discoveries.
When he gets down to my panties, Tommy states, "We'd better get these wet panties off, or you'll catch your death of cold."
"I didn't pee," I protest.
"I know," he confirms, "but we can't deny there is a real woman, here."
I feel myself blush, but raise my hips to make it easier for him to remove my soaked panties. After he removes them, he raises them to his nose and breathes in deeply.
"Don't do that," I exclaim. "They probably smell."