I was at the mall waiting for my friend, Shelly, who was supposed to be meeting me there so we could see a movie. But she was late, as usual, so I was just sitting by the food court. I'd have been in trouble if my parents knew I was there alone, they didn't let me go anyplace by myself since I had just turned 14 a month ago. I didn't know why, since I knew what was going on anyway, it wasn't like I was a little kid anymore. And besides, it wasn't my fault Shelly was late, was it?
There were a lot of people around, especially teenagers, but they were mostly with someone, or in groups of three or four, all laughing and joking. That made me feel even more alone, and sort of dumb, since I was by myself. I noticed guys looking at me too, which always made me feel a little funny about myself. Guys have been looking at me all my life though, it seems like sometimes, so I was sorta used to it though.
Mostly they were older guys, like I don't know, in their twenties or thirties, I guess, maybe even older. Some of them were with their wives and they looked at me sort of sneaky, like they didn't want to get caught. Other guys, who were with their friends, wouldn't be sneaky at all, they'd just look and sometimes give their friend a nudge so he could look too. And the guys who walked around alone were the worst. Some of them tried to look like they were looking for someone, and they'd let their eyes go over me and come back, lingering longer and longer every time. Other guys would sit down and just watch me. That made me a little nervous, and I'd blush and look down, or even turn around if it was really bad.
I finally got tired of waiting for Shelly. She was like half an hour late already and I didn't know what to do, really. I didn't want to go home, especially since it was sort of boring there. But I didn't much feel like walking around the mall alone either. That was pretty boring too, unless you had a lot of money, which I definitely didn't. I decided I'd go watch the movie anyway, even though I wondered how much fun that would really be, sitting there in the dark all by myself.
Mostly I didn't really pay too much attention to what was going on around me. I sort of kept my eyes open for Shelly, but that was about it. We always met at the same place, so I seriously doubted she'd have been waiting for me anyplace else. I got in line and bought my one lonely ticket, trying to look like I was expecting to meet a whole bunch of friends inside. But the old lady selling tickets probably didn't care anyway.
I always like popcorn. It tastes better at the movies for some reason. But it's kind of expensive too. I figured I could get a small one, maybe, and so I got in the line for the concession stand, which was sorta long, like it always is.
"What movie are you seeing?" some guy asked, and it took a couple seconds before I figured out he was talking to me.
I turned around a little, expecting to recognize him, but I didn't. He was older, like in his thirties, I guess, maybe as old as my dad. He wasn't really tall, but bigger than me, and he looked pretty normal with brown eyes and black hair. He had a nice smile, I thought, and it sort of reassured me for some reason. Maybe he knew me or something.
"Bring It On Some More," I told him. I brushed a little bit of blonde hair out of my eyes; it's long and I keep thinking I should cut it, but I never do. I just had it loose that day and it kept blowing all over the place, even when it seemed like there wasn't any wind.
"Me too." He kept smiling at me.
"Oh." I didn't really know what else to say. I took a little step as the line moved, but it was slow.
"I was supposed to meet my friend here, but I guess she couldn't make it," the man explained after a few seconds. "She goes to college."
"Yeah." I nodded sympathetically, he was pretty nice, I thought. "My friend was sposed to be here too. I don't know where she is."
"Really?" He frowned a little, as if it were no big deal that he was alone, but it made him sad to know that I was by myself too. "That's too bad." We shuffled forward a couple feet. "What college do you go to?" he asked me.
"What?" I laughed and he blushed a little, looking confused. "I don't go to college..."
"Oh. I thought you said you..."
"I go to the middle school." I smiled at his embarrassment. "I'm only in the eighth grade."
"Oh wow! Um..." He sort of looked away, probably feeling pretty dumb, I thought.
"That's okay." I stopped giggling and just smiled. "You really thought I was in college?"
"Well, yeah ... I mean, the way you look? Sure." He nodded seriously. "I thought you were 18 or 19 maybe."
That sort of warmed me up all over. I guess I always knew that I'm attractive, without being all stuck on myself or anything. But I didn't think I looked like a full grown woman yet. I was just 5'3" tall and kind of thin, but not like skinny. My boobs were growing, but just still A cups, with bubblegum pink nipples that got kind of sore and puffy sometimes, like I could feel them trying to grow. I had nice legs, everybody said so, and I wasn't sure, but I guess my butt was pretty nice. I'd heard guys talking about it at school and it had made me seriously embarrassed, but kind of happy too.
"I wish I was." I giggled and we moved up a little more.
"You'll get there." He chuckled softly. "My name is Paul." He held out his hand and I shook it without thinking too much about it, really.
"I'm Jennifer." I felt his hand smooth and dry and holding mine gently, he didn't let go right away, but just looked at me for a long count of three. I sort of liked it.
We kind of stood there for a little while, not saying anything and just moving slowly with the line. "So I guess you must have a boyfriend, huh?" he said to me. "I'm surprised he's not taking you to see the movie."
"Oh no." I shook my head with a little self-conscious smile. "I don't have a boyfriend. My folks don't want me to date or anything until I'm older."
"Older?" He looked me up and down, taking in my Skechers, and loose khaki painter pants, and the white cotton halter top I was wearing; it had a green and yellow daisy stitched into the front. "How old are you?"
"Fourteen," I told him. "My dad says I can have a boyfriend when I'm 16, maybe."
"That doesn't seem fair." Paul shook his head. "That's just a number, anybody can see you're not some little girl."
I blushed at that, smiling and looking down at my hands. That was exactly what I thought too. It really made me feel good to hear someone else saying it, especially a nice guy like Paul. He really believed it too, I could see it in his eyes when I glanced up, brushing hair from my bright blue eyes again.
"But, maybe it's a good thing too," Paul told me with a smile and before I could ask him why he was telling me. "I mean, a girl as beautiful as you is going to have a lot of guys asking her out."
"Ah, no..." I giggled, rolling my eyes a little like I knew he was teasing me.
"I'm serious," Paul insisted, smiling and looking into my eyes. "I'd love to have a girlfriend like you."
"You would?" I didn't really believe that. Paul was so nice and he had a girlfriend in college. I bet she was really pretty too, way more pretty than I was. "You're teasing!" I laughed nervously.
"What? Me? No! I wouldn't ever tease you, Jennifer. No way." He grinned and leaned a little closer. "Not unless you wanted me to."
I wasn't sure why anyone would ever want to be teased, but it didn't matter. He was making me smile again and I really started to wish I had a boyfriend like him to take me to the movies. This was way more fun than listening to Shelly's gossip.
We were getting close to the counter now and I suddenly realized that in a minute or two I'd get my popcorn and then I'd be alone again. I can't say I really thought about it, but sometimes that's what happens, you know? You just do stuff for no good reason than it seems like a good idea.
"Hey do, uh..." I was nervous and my heart was beating a little faster, but I didn't know why. This wasn't a big deal, was it? "Do you want to sit with me?" I looked at Paul's face and spoke quickly. "I mean um, you know, just sit by me and we can sort of watch the movie together?"
"Uh, well..." Paul seemed to think about it and he smiled and nodded. "Sure, yeah, I'd like that a lot, Jennifer. But..." he tilted his head a little, looking serious, " ... only if you let me buy your popcorn, okay?"
"Yeah. Sure, okay," I said, smiling with relief. I hadn't known what he was gonna say!
"Good." Paul smiled down at me. "It'll be nice to watch the movie with someone else."
"Yeah," I agreed.
We were sort of late getting into the movie, since that line for popcorn had been so long. Paul had got me a super large popcorn and a giant coke and even some of those sticky candies that get stuck in your teeth. I hardly ever got those cause it was like two dollars for a box of them. Paul didn't care though, he just smiled at me and paid for everything. The previews were on already though, like I said, and so we just ended up sitting close to the back of the theater, instead of up front where me and Shelly usually sat. That was okay though. At least we weren't sitting behind anybody really tall, or close to those people who talk too much during the movie. We had some space around us, and I liked it.
Paul sat to my left and we shared the popcorn, sort of resting it on both of our knees. Our legs were touching a little so it wouldn't fall down, and sometimes our fingers would touch too, when we were both reaching for popcorn at the same time. But I didn't mind. It was nice just being there with someone. We shared the Coke too, but that embarrassed Paul a little, I think.
"I should have got two straws," he whispered, slipping low in his seat so that his mouth was close to my ear.
"That's okay," I giggled. "I don't mind." And I took a long sip right after he did just to prove it. I wasn't a little kid, after all, I didn't worry about cooties or anything stupid like that.
He smiled in the flickering light, with his head turned to look at me.
"What?" I finally whispered, smiling and blushing from his stare, but not really looking away either.
"Nothing." Paul shook his head. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are."
"Right!" I said, just a little louder than a whisper, and I covered my mouth giggling again. I pushed him a little bit too, feeling his chest under my hand. I felt really warm in that theater and my heart was beating a little faster, just like it had before. I looked at Paul, but he was watching the movie again.
It was maybe halfway into the movie when I felt Paul's arm slipping around my shoulder. It surprised me and I jumped, just a little.
"I'm sorry." Paul looked at me, but didn't move his arm at all. "I just thought this would be more comfortable. Is it okay?" He hugged me a little, his hand closing gently on my shoulder and actually pulling me a little so I rested against him with just the arm of the chair between us.
"Yeah." I swallowed hard and felt my lungs getting heavy or something, like it was hard to breathe. I'd never had a man, or even a boy, put his arm around me before. I had little goosebumps on my arms, but I wasn't cold. I was too hot, really. My mouth was dry and I licked my lips.
"Are you okay?" Paul was looking at me, his face just a few inches from mine as I looked back at him.
"Yeah, I ... I think so." I was so scared, just being held like that. I wondered what he was thinking, if Paul was nervous too. But he was older, his girlfriend went to college, I reminded myself. This is probably what all the college girls did, letting someone put his arms around you wasn't a big deal. I tried to breathe, but it was hard, and my breasts were aching a little as my lungs labored beneath them. My nipples itched for no good reason and even felt hot and cold at the same time.
"Can I kiss you, Jennifer?" Paul asked me very quietly, very seriously, like he'd been waiting his whole life to ask me that one question.
"I ... I don't know..." I licked my lips again, staring into his eyes. They were dark, but shining too with the light from the movie projector reflecting off of them.
"If you don't want to, it's okay," he promised me. "I like you a lot and I don't want to do anything you don't want to do too." His voice was calm and tender and so reasonable. I closed my eyes, thinking that it would be so nice to be kissed. And to be kissed for the very first time by a real man, by someone who really liked me, who thought I was beautiful and older. He wouldn't ask if I was just a kid, would he?
"Okay," I breathed, and kept my eyes closed, waiting anxiously without knowing what to expect. My body was tense, like all my muscles were coiled springs and it felt like the hair on my head was standing straight up.
"Relax, sweetie..." Paul's voice was in my ear and then I felt his lips for the first time on mine. They were soft and moist without being wet and they stayed on mine for five seconds maybe before he pulled back slightly.
"Ohhh..." I let out the breath I was holding and swallowed thickly. My body felt like it was on fire on the inside and I was just trying to figure out what else I was feeling when he kissed me again.
This time it was different though, the tip of his tongue slipped between Paul's lips and flicked lightly across and between mine. I felt it all wet and warm, trying to work its way into my mouth and I gradually surrendered to it without even realizing what I was doing. It just happened, really, and the new and wonderful sensation of Paul's tongue sliding over my teeth, wriggling and tickling and exploring my mouth, was incredible.
I felt little explosions behind my eyes and my tummy was doing flip-flops. Paul had brought his other hand up to touch my face while he cradled me in his arm. I didn't know what to do with my hands, I couldn't even think about it, it felt like everything I was feeling was pushing the thoughts right out of my head. I was touching him though, one of my hands finding his leg and squeezing Paul's thigh, while the other was on his shoulder, squeezing him there as well.
His tongue filled my mouth over and over, and soon I was learning from it, trying to do the same things he was doing. I pushed my tongue tentatively into Paul's mouth, and explored the warm softness I found there slowly. I tickled his tongue with mine, and somehow we were playing suddenly, our tongues seeming to wrestle with each other, first in his mouth, then in mine, and than back again.
When we finally had to stop, we were both breathing hard. I felt hot and damp all over and my tongue felt tired and thick. Even my lips were sore from Paul sucking them tenderly on and off between kisses. I felt wonderful inside, like I could do anything. It was the best feeling of my life and I never wanted it to end.
We kissed for the rest of the movie, making out for a good hour I bet, and the experience had me shivering with excitement. I was tingling all over, but especially my nipples, which just seemed tormented and begging for some sort of attention; and down between my legs, between my thighs where my sex was, I could feel myself moist, like I was having my period or something, but it wasn't that. I wasn't even close to the end of my cycle. This was different, a new wetness that I'd heard some of the girls talk about at school, but I'd never felt it before. I felt greasy and there was a little ache, like a tiny cramp, but it didn't hurt, it felt sort of good. And somewhere else, where the butterflies were, it was like I was getting little shocks sometimes, just once in awhile, but enough to make me gasp softly into Paul's mouth.
As the movie ended, Paul slowly let me go. I didn't want him to, and part of me just wished we could have stayed in that movie theater forever. We sat there in the dark, watching the credits and catching our breath as anonymous shadowy people walked up the aisle past us.
"Do you have to go home right away?" Paul asked me, leaning close.
"No," I whispered back immediately, not thinking about it at all.
"Do you want to come to my house with me?" He licked his lips and again I didn't hesitate. I just didn't want to leave this moment, even if it meant going to Paul's house to keep it.
"Yeah," I nodded and Paul stood, reaching down to take my hand and lead me out of the theater and into his car.
I was nervous, yeah, getting into Paul's car with him. But I wasn't scared, not like you probably think. He held my hand gently all the way out of theater and across the parking lot, and we talked about the movie and how good it was, but I couldn't remember very much of it and I felt a little silly. My legs felt like they belonged to somebody else, like I couldn't even feel the ground.
"Are you sure this is okay, Jennifer?" Paul was rubbing my leg softly as he drove and I was smiling.
"Uh-huh," I nodded, but inside my heart was still pounding, like it had been all afternoon it seemed like, and I wondered if I was going to have a heart attack or something.
"You are so beautiful." He was smiling and always saying nice things like that. Asking me about school and my friends, and sometimes I'd say something funny, or silly maybe, and he'd laugh and I'd laugh too. I think we went a long ways, but it went by so fast it just seemed like we were flying instead of driving, you know?
He lived in a normal house, on a normal street, and clicked the little button for his garage and we pulled in with the big heavy door closing behind us. I had a little bit of doubt right then, like maybe this wasn't a good idea. I was only fourteen, I thought, and that suddenly didn't seem so old for some reason.
"It's okay." We were still in the car, just sitting there in the garage, and Paul was looking at me. "I'm nervous too..." He leaned over a little, his hand squeezing my thigh gently, reassuring me.
"Really?" I turned my head a little, looking at him. "Why are you nervous?" I wondered out loud, but it made me feel a little better knowing he was, like it wasn't just me.
"Because I've never met a woman like you before," he said softly and maybe even blushed, just a little. "I really want you to like me."
"I do like you!" I giggled, wondering why he didn't know that. I mean, we'd been kissing and everything! And then I realized that he'd called me a woman as my brain caught up with my ears. I smiled to myself and took a little breath, feeling like I was growing up, right there in the man's car.
I thought maybe Paul was going to kiss me again, because I was a woman and he was a man, and I wouldn't have minded at all, in fact my tummy seemed to tighten up in little knots, getting ready for it. But he didn't.
"Let's go inside, I'll introduce you to Sugar." He gave my leg one last squeeze and then gave me a serious look. "You're not allergic to cats, are you?"
I shook my head. "No. I love cats."
"Good!" He smiled. "Because she thinks it's her house, not mine."
I laughed at that and we got out, and I followed Paul into his kitchen through the side door. Sugar was there waiting for him, a small white cat with long hair that rubbed up against Paul's leg, mewling for attention. She was adorable and Paul picked her up, stroking the cat for a moment and handing her to me.
"Do you want a coke or something?" he asked.
"Um, can I use your bathroom?" I had to pee cause that coke at the theater had been sort of big.
"Oh, sure. It's this way..." He led me out of the kitchen to where the house kind of split, with a big living room to the left and a hallway to the right. There were four doors, a couple on the left, and one to the right, and one at the opposite end. They were all open and the bathroom was the first door on the left.
I closed the door and locked it, feeling a little self-conscious, and silly too, like maybe Paul would forget I was here and just walk in or something. That thought made me giggle and when I was done, I washed my hands and looked in the mirror, frowning a little at my reflection. I was pretty, I thought, but not really beautiful, was I? I hoped so, I wished I were, and Paul had said I was, but ... I tried to see the woman that Paul said I was, and I wasn't sure about that either. I sorta looked like a kid, I thought, and I dug in my little purse for my brush, trying to fix my hair, but it just hung long and straight and boring blonde, like always. I wished I had some lipstick or perfume or something, but my parents wouldn't let me have real makeup. I bit my lip and sighed, a little unsure of who I really was.
Paul was in the living room when I came out. He'd fixed us some sodas and he had a little bowl of chips. He was holding Sugar in one hand, stroking it with the other, and the cat was purring loudly.
"Here, you can sit by me." Paul was on the sofa and he scooted over just a little, making some extra room for me. He put Sugar on the floor while I took a sip of my Coke. "Feel better?" Paul asked and I nodded.
"Yeah." I looked around, wondering what we were going to do. It was a nice house, pretty normal with pictures on the wall, a bookcase and television on a stand, a little stereo, everything you'd expect. "Is, um ... is your girlfriend going to come here?" I asked, just cause I wondered about her.
"Oh, I don't think so." Paul shook his head. "If she couldn't make it to the movie, then she probably had to go into work or something." He shrugged. "She'll probably call me later, making it all my fault." He laughed and so did I. "Do you want to see her picture?"
Paul was already getting up before I could nod, going to the bookcase and getting out a photo album, one of those big kind. He sat down next to me, getting close so we could open it on both our legs. "This is all her." Paul smiled and opened the cover. "I like to take pictures."
"All these pictures are of your girlfriend?" I sort of thumbed through the pages, flipping the edge really quickly, and the thick album looked like it was full.
"Yep." Paul nodded. "This is all Nina. Here we go, this was when I first met her. We were camping up in the mountains." The first pictures were of a girl who looked about 13 maybe, not much older than that, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and little hiking boots, smiling as she sat on a picnic table. She had short black hair and a nice smile.
"I thought you said she was in college." I giggled, feeling confused. There were more pictures, mostly of her on the picnic table, posing in some of them, and in others she was laughing, or talking it looked like, just snap shots.
"She is now." Paul nodded. "But when I met her she was just in the seventh grade." He turned to look at me. "She was like you, Jennifer, a special young woman and not a little kid at all. Nina has been my girlfriend for six years almost."
"Six years?" I thought that was a long time and no wonder he had so many pictures of her. They must really love each other I thought, and that made me a little sad somehow, like maybe I was sort of hoping he'd be mad at her, or something and...
"Uh-huh." He was flipping through the pages and we looked at Nina doing all sorts of things in all sorts of places; riding a horse, hanging out at a swimming pool, playing badminton with some other girl. She was always smiling and cute, even beautiful, I thought, at least in some of the pictures. It made me feel a little jealous and I felt bad about that.
We leaned back on the couch and Paul put his right arm around me, hugging me to him and it felt nice. I'd look at the pictures and he'd tell me about them, where they were, what they were doing, stuff like that. It was fun and I wished someone liked me that much, taking all those pictures, spending all that time with me.
"I bet you really love her, don't you?" I finally had to say, because looking at all those pictures was making me a little sad. I wished Paul were my boyfriend and not Nina's.
"Oh yeah." He nodded, smiling at me as I looked at him. "But..." he shrugged and acted like he wanted to say something, but he was shy or nervous maybe.
"What?" I asked him.
"Well, I don't know ... Six years is a long time and I think she wants to date someone else maybe." He looked kind of sad, I thought, but not like he was going to cry or anything. "It's okay though, that's how much I want her to be happy," Paul said, putting on a brave smile for me and then he gave me a little hug.
"So, she's not your girlfriend anymore?" I asked slowly, trying to understand.
"Mmmm ... She sort of is, but I don't think we'll be together much longer." He chuckled softly. "Besides, she's getting too old for me anyway, right?"
I laughed, since he was pretty old, but he didn't seem like he was old. There were boys at school that I thought I liked a lot, but Paul was way better than they were, I realized. He was sweet and smart and nice and I felt kind of bad for him. But I felt sort of happy too, in a bad way though, because part of me was thinking that maybe if Nina wasn't his girlfriend anymore, then maybe I could be ... But just thinking that made me blush and I looked down quickly, flipping to the next page and seeing Nina smiling happily in a short red skirt and black tank top, posed by a statue of some indian with a peace pipe.
"What?" Paul was smiling at me. He'd caught my face turning red and that just made me even more shy. "What is it, Jennifer?"
But I didn't want to tell him, so I just smiled a little and flipped another page. There was Nina making a face at the camera, pulling her lips apart with her fingers and sticking out her tongue.
"You better tell me," Paul teased me gently and his fingers slipped down to tickle my ribs and I squirmed. "Oh, you're ticklish? You're going to be in real trouble now!" He was laughing and I refused to talk, so pretty soon he was tickling me with both hands, scratching my sides and making me roll around on the big sofa, the album falling to the floor forgotten. I was practically howling with laughter and trying to curl up to protect myself.
I was breathless and red faced and hot by the time Paul stopped. He was half laying on top of me, my legs spread around his thighs as he knelt on the carpet. I could feel his chest against my breasts and his face was close to mine. I stared into his eyes and my stomach churned because I knew he wanted to kiss me, and he did. I wrapped my arms around Paul as his tongue slipped into my mouth and I accepted it eagerly, kissing him back. It felt so good, my body was already hot on the outside, but it felt like I was burning on the inside too.
Paul was moving a little while we kissed, and so was I, squirming beneath him and I felt him against my pelvis, pressing me down there between my legs. The contact felt good and made me move all the more, sort of lifting my hips, just a little so I could feel more of it. My legs seemed to wrap themselves around his hips, without me even realizing they were doing it, and I felt him rubbing himself against me too, like he needed to feel me the same way.
I gasped when I felt one of his hands move to my breasts. He was so gentle though and my boobs felt all achy and tender, my nipples itched and burned under my bra, and he squeezed my left breast, rubbing it and making me moan a little into his mouth. Paul pulled at the straps of my halter top, slipping them off my shoulders and working it down. I didn't stop him, or do anything like that, I was feeling too good kissing him. He massaged my breasts some more, through the soft padding of my bra and then he was slowly sliding a hand behind me, and I was dimly aware of his fingers working at the little hook in the back.
Paul kissed my neck and I sucked cool air into my lungs as my bra suddenly came loose. He kissed my ear and nibbled on my ear lobe so that all I could do was squeeze him to me, it felt so different and wonderful. He had his hand on my bare boob now, and I arched my back a little, as if trying to get more of my smallish tit into his large hand. His thumb played across my nipple, rubbing it and pressing the hard puffy knob of flesh until it felt so good it almost hurt.
When he started kissing my breasts, that was the best though. I could barely breathe anymore as he slid his mouth down a little, shifting his whole body lower so that my legs were around his ribs and his stomach was between my thighs. He took my left breast into his mouth, practically the whole thing it seemed like, and sucked on it. I could feel his tongue moving around and over my tit, bathing me in wet warmth and I just clutched him to me. I'd never felt anything like that before and it was making me almost crazy for more. I found myself pushing him gently, urging him to do the same thing to my other breast, and it was so nice like that.
I couldn't have stopped him, even if I'd wanted to, and I didn't even say anything when I felt his hands sliding along my waist and tummy to find the top of my painter pants. I just moaned softly, digging my fingers in his hair while he sucked my boobs, alternating between them and making me see stars behind my closed eyes. He was unbuttoning my pants, unzipping them and pulling them down, but I didn't care. I felt so hot all over and especially between my legs. It was new and exciting and I couldn't stop him, I couldn't even stop myself.
I lifted my hips, getting my butt off the couch enough for Paul to get my pants down, over my hips and to the tops of my thighs. He brought his lips back to mine, kissing me again and I sucked his tongue lovingly, tickling it with my own tongue. I felt his hands guiding me, pushing my left leg so that it was next to my right and he was pulling my pants down, past my knees, and ankles, and finally off completely.
The thought that I was laying there with my top around my waist, my bra undone completely, and now wearing just my panties, sent a little shock through me. I was suddenly frightened and nervous and I shook my head, pushing Paul away from me. I took a deep breath and then another as his hands slid up and down my bare smooth thighs. He was watching my face as he moved my legs back the way they were, spread apart around him as he knelt in front of me.
"I don't know if I should do this," I whispered, feeling very small.
"It's okay, Jennifer." He kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes. He brought his hands to my shoulders, squeezing me gently. "I just want you to feel good..."
"But I ... I shouldn't..." My heart was pounding and I'd never felt so frightened in my life. What was he doing to me, I wondered. How had I ended up here, like this?
"I love you, Jennifer," he whispered and kissed my lips softly. "Don't you love me?"
I didn't know. I thought I did. I wanted to, I thought, and his words sent a secret thrill through my veins. I wanted him to love me and do the things with me that he'd done with Nina. I wanted to hear him say all those nice things, again and again and again. I was beautiful, he'd said. I was a woman and special and ... and he loved me. I felt drunk somehow, but entirely clear too, which was a different sort of confusion for me.
"Yes..." I said softly, looking at him and swallowing hard. "I love you."
Paul kissed me gently again, a slow kiss, but deep and meaningful and I felt like I was melting into it. His tongue moved inside my mouth slowly, working across mine, and his hands rubbed my breasts and down to my waist and tummy and thighs. It felt like he was touching me all over and I had my eyes closed, hearing him tell me he loved me, over and over.
As Paul's hand slipped between my thighs it was all I could do to keep from trying to run away. I didn't want to run. I wanted to stay there and feel him holding me. We were still kissing and I had my arms around his neck. My whole body was flushed and sweaty and tingling all over. But still, it was the first time anyone had touched me there, in my private place. My secret place that mom had said nobody was supposed to touch. I felt the urge to get up, to get away, like I was in trouble. But I fought it. I wanted to be a woman, I wanted to have a boyfriend and be loved and in love.
My body tensed as I felt his fingers brushing across my panties. I was wet down there, I knew, moist and super hot and I wanted to feel ... something. I wanted to push myself against something, the way we'd done it before, just rubbing our bodies together. When Paul touched me there, on my sex, my hips thrust against him like he'd pushed a button or something and turned me on. I pressed my crotch to his hand, groaning and kissing Paul's cheeks and lips. My sex was aching, like I had a cramp or something, but much different from anything I'd ever experienced before. This was coming from someplace else, some part of me that I'd never dreamt of before.
Paul rubbed my vagina slowly, playing with me it seemed, or maybe teasing me, and it was like torture almost. There was a spot down there that was begging for more, and I was squirming against him, trying to find it. Paul sucked my nipples again, distracting me with a little rush of pleasure as he pulled my panties aside. His fingers touched my bare flesh, exploring the humid folds of my vagina, my ... pussy, I thought wickedly, although I'd never said that word in my life. I knew what it was, I wasn't a kid. Paul was touching my pussy, rubbing it with his fingers, squeezing and pinching and probing me carefully.
All I could do was hug his neck and rock my hips, with my head tilted back and gasping for air. Every part of me was alive and most especially my sex, more than anything else, the feeling of Paul's hand rubbing my pussy was pushing me headlong over a cliff and into a place I'd never imagined. When he touched the part of me that burned the most, that little spot on the top of my slit, it was like something burst inside of me. There was a sensation of my vagina curling up into itself, getting tighter somehow and throbbing way down inside. I felt a rush of wetness seeming to pour out of me, running down to my butt. Paul was rubbing my clitoris, barely mature and inexperienced, and something of which I'd barely been aware existed until that moment. I could feel his fingers on it, caressing and teasing me, bringing that knot of tender flesh to life.
I couldn't breath and I had tears at the corner of my eyes. Sparklers were dancing in the darkness and I was telling Paul how much I loved him. My whole body shook and my thighs squeezed against his body until I felt the muscles in my legs burning from the effort. It lasted minutes or hours, or just seconds, I had no way of knowing. It just seemed like time had stopped just so I could live the first orgasm of my young life forever.
I felt exhausted and I lay there, barely aware that Paul was no longer kissing my breasts, or touching my sex. I sensed, rather than saw him undressing and I didn't care, or didn't understand, or didn't realize what we were doing. I just knew I was in love and that I'd never felt so good about anything ever before.
"Did that feel good?" Paul was whispering, his body back on mine. He was between my legs, kneeling like before, and he stroked my thighs with his hands slowly.
"Yeah..." I nodded, smiling at him.
"You're such a special girl, Jennifer." He kissed me. "My special girl ... My sexy little girl..."
"Uh-huh..." I moaned softly and felt something between my legs, hard and blunt, working slowly up and down the slippery folds of my vagina. It made me gasp and I blinked as I realized what it must be, looking down my body and seeing Paul's hand around the shaft of his hard penis, rubbing the head of it against me.
"I'll be careful..." Paul was saying, " ... Very slow, okay?"
I nodded, feeling terrified and thrilled all at the same time. "Are we going to do it?" I asked dumbly, as if I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"We're going to make love, Jennifer." Paul leaned down, pressing his lips to mine and I accepted his kiss as his swollen penis found purchase at the entrance to my virgin womb. He held it there, unmoving, barely penetrating me at all, and brought a hand to my face, and then lower, so he held the back of my head in his hand.
Paul's tongue filled my mouth and at the same instant I felt the pressure of his manhood forcing its way inside me. I gasped with surprise, and then with pain as it seemed to split my body in half, tearing inside my flesh and hurting me. I pushed my palms against his chest and tried to turn my head away from his kiss. I wanted to scream and tell him to stop! He had to stop, it was too big! I wasn't a woman at all, I was just a little girl and it was too big!
But he didn't stop, or even let me go, he just held my mouth trapped against his and his much larger body against mine. I felt a sharp stab of pain and Paul stopped for a moment, pulling his penis back slightly, and I realized he must have reached the bottom of me. That was all he could get inside, because he was so big and I was so small. I thought maybe it wasn't so bad after all ... I was wrong though. He'd just gotten just the head inside me, not even all of it before he found my hymen. The man wasn't in me hardly at all and Paul held me even tighter and lunged forward with his hips, spearing his penis into and through the tiny barrier that guarded my womb. I felt my flesh tearing inside me, ripping with a heart-stopping explosion of pain. It felt like I'd been burned, or cut, or stabbed between my legs and I was screaming then, but only into Paul's open mouth and he seemed to breathe in all of my pain.
After that he really was inside me, all the way inside, so that there was no part of his penis ... his cock, that wasn't touching me. I felt a deep aching pain in my guts, worse than any cramp, but it was dull, not sharp like before. My vagina seemed to clasp itself to Paul's penis, and I felt little contractions and spasms of muscles that I had no control over. He held me like that for awhile, kissing me until finally the pain had faded to something I could bear and I was kissing him back.
"I'm sorry," Paul whispered, his cock inside me and his mouth close to my ear.
"It hurt," I told him.
"I know." He kissed my cheek and I realized I'd been crying. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "It'll be better now, I promise, Jennifer."