When we overcome our assumptions based on indoctrinated hang-ups, we find beauty and love can be discovered within limitless opportunities. With respect, caring and open minds, anything is possible.
The sight of my beautiful Sarah sleeping soundly on our bed rekindled my emotions from last night's sensual encounter. Just 3 months ago, neither of us knew the other existed; yet I couldn't imagine feeling more grateful for our chance meeting. I've never known a person to fit so perfectly into my life. I've heard of soul mates, but never thought it was possible, till now.
Though I would have preferred sleeping in, today, I was needed to show up early for work. At least I've had the pleasure of viewing Sarah's nude body displayed on top of our bed, while I prepared for my workday. The absence of concealing blankets was the only advantage of the heat wave we've been suffering through lately. I viewed the remnants of last night, our intermingled love juices dried on her legs and matting her short, thin, brown hair that delicately flowed inward and downward, pointing the way to a priceless treasure.
I watched her breasts rise and fall with each breath she took. Fully exposed, those soft, firm mounds, topped by highly sensitive pink nipples, reached out and seemed to beg for more attention. A smile remained on her face. I'm not sure if it was stuck there from last night, or if she was dreaming a continuation. Her silky brown hair framed her fair complexion, draping just slightly below her shoulders.
I wanted to savor this sight longer, but knew I had to leave, and it was time for her to wake up. As I leaned down toward her, I inhaled her sweet scent flowing with the currents emanating from her body. Her warmth drew me in, till our lips met in a gentle kiss.
"Mmmmm," I heard from deep within her. "I love waking with my lover's luscious lips caressing mine." She pulled me down on the bed, wrapping her arms and legs around me. Into my ear she whispered, "I don't even need to open my eyes to feel the nurturing glow of Dawn. I love you, my dear Dawn." Fighting my desire to just stay there indefinitely, I peeled her arms and legs off me, as she cried out, "Till tonight, my love."
While driving to work, my mind relived our past wonderful months. I first encountered Sarah while working at my fairly new job. I've been working as a physical therapist, specializing in children who need prosthetics. This has been my field for 12 years, but I just recently started working for this state of the art facility at which I've wanted to work for many years. I heard someone was retiring and an opening was available, so jumped at this rare opportunity. I've loved it here. I couldn't have imagined a greater staff, and the kids have been a joy. I have been welcomed by all and made to feel at home.
One thing I thought was unusual was every day, when kids arrived, they'd ask, "Is Sarah coming today?" I had met all the staff, and acquainted myself with all the patients, and I wasn't aware of a Sarah among any of them. After a week of hearing this, I asked my supervisor who Sarah was. She informed me Sarah was a volunteer who came in and helped with the children. All the kids have loved her playfulness and caring. I was told she started coming by a few years back to get her mind off the divorce she was going through, fell in love with the kids and had been coming back ever since. I began to look forward to meeting this Wonder Woman.
Finally, the day arrived. I was working with a five-year-old boy, when the room broke out in shrieks, giggles and laughter. I looked up and saw Sarah. I'm not sure if it was just the sun shining through the window onto her or if she radiated her own glow, but her smile was contagious and her energy brightened the entire room. I feared she was going to be smothered by the horde of children gravitating toward her, yet she was very adept at protecting herself while making sure none of the kids were hurt or felt left out.
After about 10 minutes, our supervisor announced, "OK, back to work, now." The kids went back to their stations, and Sarah started making her rounds, giving each child special one-on-one attention. After connecting with each of the kids, she came up to me. "Hi, I'm Sarah. You must be Dawn, Mattie's replacement. Mattie will be greatly missed, but I've heard a lot of positive about you already, so I'm sure you'll fit right in at this great place." I was impressed from the start.
Sarah was friendly, playful, caring, respectful, sensitive, outgoing and yet was actually very humble and didn't push anything on anyone. I could tell this was a woman who would bring a lot of joy and happiness to a place that could be seen as a place of sadness and pain. Here was this room filled with children who had lost limbs or were born without them, and yet this same room was filled with joy and laughter.
Sometimes, when I was working with a frightened child, Sarah appeared, and all fear dissolved from the child. She had a way with everyone. How could anyone help but love her? One day, after bringing a smile to Nikki, a scared young girl, she touched my arm as she rose to move on. Her touch was so gentle, yet I felt like a bolt of lightning entered where her hand touched.
I looked up and saw a twinkle in her eye as our eyes connected for a moment, before she looked at Nikki and gave her one last reassurance. She said, "You're a very lucky girl, because Dawn is our most skilled and gentle therapist, and she never gives up. She's going to help you to be able to run around and play and do all the things you've ever dreamt of doing." Following a smile and very interesting eye contact with me, she moved on.
As far back as I could remember I have gravitated towards girls. It's not that I didn't like boys; it's just that the gentleness and sensitivity of girls seemed to melt my heart. I never exposed this side of me to anyone as I was growing, as I realized it wasn't acceptable to be different. I didn't want to be labeled as different and ostracized by others.
I fantasized in my mind, and pictured girls when I masturbated, but kept this as my secret. I went out on a few dates with guys in high school, and though I enjoyed the time we spent together, they just didn't have that softness I yearned for. I felt nothing when they kissed me. Maybe they sensed that, as I was never asked out on a second date.
In college, I discovered the gay and lesbian student group. I realized I now had the opportunity to safely explore who I really was. I made some friends who were willing to show me the ropes and let me grow at my own pace. I even developed some relationships that gave me a taste of the love I yearned for. Nothing seemed to become permanent, but I did feel much stronger regarding my identity by the time I graduated college. Though I wasn't meeting as many lesbians after I graduated, I did end up in a few relationships that lasted up to 2 years. My ideal had still eluded me.
I was never into roles, where one person had to act like a woman and the other like a man. I never questioned my being a woman, and I enjoyed being a woman. I also knew I appreciated an equal partner who also enjoyed being a woman. I dreamt of a woman who appreciated me for who I was, without attempting to mold me into her image of a partner.
Maybe I expected too much, but preferred being alone, feeling good about my life and myself, rather than settling, just to be in a relationship. I could be assertive when I felt I belonged; yet tended to be quiet and waited for others to make the first move, which limited my opportunities. My belief was the right relationship was worth waiting for.
I didn't want to stop cuddling with Dawn's pillow on our bed, savoring the scent that still lingered on her pillow. I can't believe where life has taken me. I never expected to end up here, yet I couldn't imagine a place I'd rather be. I don't think anyone would have guessed I'd have ended up with a woman, yet nothing could have felt more right to me. I knew I had to get up and start my day, yet I just wanted to savor the view of Dawn's face, which was burned into my mind.
It's not that I've never had any experiences with a female before. I shared a lot with my best friend Kate, actually, everything. We met in the 3rd grade. We were both new students at the school, and the established cliques were too tight to be open to new kids, so Kate and I established our own Mutual Admiration Society. We were tight. As long as we had each other, we felt we could conquer the world. Even back in the 3rd grade, we were both quite boy crazy. We would look and giggle and pretend, while sharing our dreams only with each other.
As we entered puberty, Kate and I helped each other to learn about and be comfortable with the changes in our bodies. During our sleepovers, we did a lot of looking, touching and exploring. We felt totally safe with each other. As we got deeper into adolescence, and anticipated we might actually go out with boys, we practiced on each other, so we wouldn't stumble around and look foolish when the time arrived. We taught each other how to kiss and helped each other to discover the pleasures of sex. We shared our first orgasms with each other. It was wonderful, but we knew our goal was to be with boys and never thought of ourselves as lesbian or even bi-sexual.
.... There is more of this story ...