Victor Timothy Eiser was three years from early retirement and four hours from a decent night's sleep. At 47, Vic had 20 years on the force, the last 15 with the Vice Squad. But he had already served ten years of what seemed like a life sentence married to 29 year old Beatrice aka the ball-buster bitch from Brooklyn Heights.

Being a New York cop with a Vice detail had its pros and cons; literally, given the number of prostitutes, grafters, drifters and recidivists he busted. But personally, Vic found his job brought him up only to bring him crashing down at the end of his shift. He got to see the steamier and seamier side of the sex trade. Some of those girls were actually pretty under a ton of cheap make-up and 'rape-me rags' meant to lure more than allure. Still, flaunted female flesh had him hooked and hungry for hooker-style 'home cooking'.

But at shift's end Victor left his sexual dreams and nightmares behind and settled into cold, hard reality. It was his cock that started out hard until it confronted the icy cold reality of his wife. Beatrice was more than just frigid, she was mean and vindictive about it. She excelled at laying humiliating guilt trips on her husband whom she blamed for leaving her cold in bed. She had claimed to be a hot-mama when Vic first dated her, but she was cold comfort as so as she had a ring on her finger and a grip on his ball, figuratively speaking.

She demeaned his manly prowess which she called plough-less because his 'meagre meat', as she called it, wasn't strong enough nor large enough to plough her furrows. She also made him have a sperm count when, after three years, they were still childless. The medical report was not conclusive but it did indicate his 'swimmers' were not Olympic qualifiers.

"In fact," said his witty but waspish wife, " your balls have more hair than bounce to the ounce. " Beatrice was not inclined to perform oral sex on Vic even when he shaved all his pubic hair to please her. She just ridiculed his new nude genital look as looking like a ten year old boy, not a real man. Beatrice could hardly look at Vic, much less touch him. And sex? Forget it even existed; her scathing looks at him were castrating as well as castigating.

Ten years of constant denigration wore the old cop down. He assumed it was his service in the Vice Squad that so turned of his young wife. But she insisted he keep his position as it would be the only sexual position he'd see.

Indeed, at work Victor confronted a hot-bed of vice and sexual perversion. At home he was confronted with an icy bed and sexual revulsion. This presented a perverse irony of Vice and versa leaving poor Vic sexually aroused by what he experienced on the job, but sexually dampened once he got home. He shrank into a lesser self, and not just metaphorically speaking. His testosterone levels gradually sank lower and lower until his penis telescoped down until it all but disappeared.

To make matters worse, so many years on the Vice Squad had inured him to all matters sexual. His lower testosterone levels probably added to his boredom and lack of interest too, but his seeing the seamier side of sex just turned him off. What he needed at work, if not at home, was a little excitement and innocent sex-fun like he had in high school. But Vic was resigned to having no such fun ever again.

Tonight he and his partner, cadet Pvt. Ariel Dumblondel, had just finished making the rounds of 'Adult' Video and Marital Supply stores in their district, when Vic noticed something curious going on in a back alley way. With siren and flashers ablaze, their patrol car swung into the alley at an angle blocking any exit or entrance. Whoever was in there was trapped.

This being Dumblondel's first tour away from a desk, she had the wheel while her superior looked for suspicious and probably illegal activity. It was S.O.P. for a superior to deal with these matters and have the junior partner learn on the job. Also, Dumblondel being a female officer, Vic felt protective of her; he didn't want the 20 year old girl exposed to too much on her first night tour. So Vic got out of the car with his weapon drawn and told Ariel to stay close behind.

In his many years on Vice, Vic had seen many weird and wacky things, but tonight he was confronted with something that really made him laugh. Cowering behind a trash bin in the alley was a young girl wearing only a sexy bra and beige panties; both items of clothing were soaking wet and were quite transparent. Vic smiled and thought maybe he could have some fun tonight after all.

-- It's alright, Miss. We're the police. Step out from there and raise you hands in the air where I can see them. That's it ... No, keep your hands up high.

-- Yes Sir, said Megan, a 16 year old college freshman who was beginning to think her sorority had called the cops on her.

-- I'm not in trouble, am I Sir?

-- That depends. How old are you and where are the rest of your clothes?

-- I'm 16 but I'll be 17 in just a few months. I'm pledging for Sigma Theta Chi sorority and my sorority sisters thought my dress was shabby so they cut it to ribbons and they said plebs should always go barefoot and really, Sir ... I didn't wet myself. My undies are wet because they said I was a dirty ho and needed a shower ... but they were just testing me to see if I'd do as I was told and not complain or tell and ( oh, fuck! she whispered) ... er Ahhh.

Vic saw her distress and understood immediately

-- Don't worry, Miss ... umm? I didn't catch your name.

-- Megan, Sir.

-- Well Megan ... you pay attention too, Dumblondel ... you're a raw recruit so this pertains to you as well.

-- Yes, Sir, said his young partner, although she had no idea what he meant. She had advanced through Police Academy in two years by watching the movie of the same name and mimicking their style of operations.

All through elementary and high school, Dumblondel was the target of lewd pranks. Her given name didn't help especially when she explained to fellow students that her mother had been watching Disney's The Little Mermaid when her water broke and under Demerol, she had screamed out ' Ahha, ahhhhh. A R I E L ' when she gave birth.

-- What you both need to know, said Vic, is that nudity is not against the law, but near-nakedness is. Strange as it seems, being half-clothed is deemed by the New York Supreme Court as lewd and sexually provocative. The fewer the clothes, the more illegal ... that is, until one appears butt naked. The highest court in the state says being naked constitutes freedom of expression.