At some level, the problem was probably brewing from the very beginning. We met in college. It was the summer before my junior year. I was at a house party thrown by a bunch of friends. I was buzzed, not drunk, when this group of girls and guys I didn't recognize showed up. I checked out the girls-all three were pretty, not totally hot or anything, but nice. My friend Jeff, one of the guys living at the house, greeted the group warmly. Turns out, he had gone to high school with a couple of the guys-I guess I had met them before, I just didn't remember. The three girls were friends of theirs from college (a different college than ours, in the same metropolitan area). They were all from the area, as well.
I noticed this one nice-looking brunette cast her gaze at me a few times. Figuring that was enough of a come-on for me to approach her, I did. I introduced myself, she did the same, and I offered to buy her a beer. Since it was a kegger and the beers were free, it was a somewhat lame, yet tried-and-true ice-breaker. It worked predictably, and so the slow dance of party seduction began. She was very cute of face (I've always been a sucker for a cute face), with nice, thick medium-length brown hair. Her body was a little squat for my taste. Not fat, not even chubby. Probably 5'2 and 120-125 lbs. Rather petite, in fact. It's just that her boobs were quite small, and her upper body was petite, so the weight was primarily in legs and ass that, while still acceptably proportional, were showing the thickening of four years or so of college food and beer consumption.
Anyway, we got to talking, and drinking, and I learned enough to know I was clear: she didn't have a boyfriend, wasn't seeing anyone seriously. One of the guys she came with gave me a few irritated glances, but I learned from Julie (that's her name) that while she had known her for a while, and they had dated a few times, it wasn't serious. If he thought they were dates for the party, she sure didn't. He came by a couple of times when I was away from Julie, and kind of lingered around for a while a couple of times, but her attention was fully on me, and he soon got the hint. No major drama.
Before the night was too far along, I was making out with her on the love-seat in the second-floor living room. I got to second base, over her thin shirt and thickly-padded bra, and had a handful of her still-just-firm-enough-to-call-tight ass. She didn't grab my package, but ran her hands all over my shoulders, chest and (at that time still flat) belly. She could really kiss! I got plenty hot. Her actions were totally receptive to what I was doing, but firm in limiting the encounter to that level of intimacy. I'm not a dick, so I didn't push it. Instead, I enjoyed the hell out of what was allowed. Too much, in fact. I had fucking chapped lips for days afterwards.
Before she left with her friends, she gave me her number. I promised I would call her. She told me she was really looking forward to seeing me again; jokingly adding that she hoped that I would shave my goatee before we went out again.
I continued partying, stumbling back to my apartment down the block sometime in the early morning hours to sleep it off. I woke in the afternoon the next day (a Sunday), and had to haul ass back to my parent's house for some family gathering or another. I had a couple of bloody mary's at my folk's house, along with a few aspirin, and that seemed to take the edge off the hangover. I got home that evening in time to watch the Simpson's and then pass out. I made it through work on Monday, and thought to give Julie a call.
I really hadn't been doing much dating that summer. I had broken up with my girlfriend of almost two years, Maria, in February of that year. Well, she dumped me, actually. I hooked up with her mid-way through my freshman year of college. She wasn't my first, but she might have well have been. I had dated several girls in high school, hooked up with even more at parties and whatnot. I had even gotten lucky with two girls (one girl-my first-only once; the other five times over the course of my senior year-a friend with benefits type of thing). I fucked a couple of girls at the beginning of my freshman year, and then met Maria.
Maria was a really pretty girl with an olive complexion and a petite, yet curvy body. She and I met at a holiday party. She was a senior in high school at the time, but had a maturity about her. The spark was instantaneous. However, she was very slow in terms of physical intimacy. I didn't mind. We went out several times with me getting kisses good night, before I finally got into the heavy make-out phase. Before we even got to that point, she made it clear that we had to be exclusive. I agreed readily.
Maria wasn't a virgin when we met. She had a boyfriend during her junior year of high school-a college guy. He made all sorts of promises of love and commitment, and took her out and impressed her with his car and expensive dinners and the like. It took him a couple of months to get her into bed, and then the dinners and expensive dates began to slack off. She didn't mind, she was in love. Then, he started being a little distant, except when he wanted sex, of course. She stuck it out for another several months, making excuses to herself and any of her friends who expressed concern because she had convinced herself that he was 'the one.' He still said all the loving things when he cared to spend time with her and get into her pants, but the flowers, cards, nightly phone calls and dates (other than picking her up to go to his apartment to screw) basically came to an end. It took a toll on Maria emotionally and damaged her self-esteem. He started avoiding her phone calls, breaking dates, and was unaccounted-for several times during weekends. Her friends told her he was running around on her. She wouldn't believe it. He never got physically abusive, but he would manipulate her emotionally, turning every concern she had back on her-bullying her into accepting an increasingly unacceptable situation. Somewhere along the line, a condom failed (she wasn't on the pill-she was too embarrassed to get a prescription), and she would up pregnant. She told her boyfriend, and he basically disappeared. Maria is a Catholic girl-maybe not a strict enough one to avoid pre-marital sex, but enough of one to have serious problems with abortion. She finally broke down and confessed to her mother that she was pregnant. Her mom took her to a doctor. Tests were done and it was discovered that it was an ectopic pregnancy-to carry the baby to term would kill mother and child. So, Maria had a medically-necessary abortion. The whole experience shook Maria. She didn't date for about nine months after that-when she met me.
I would say that I grew to love Maria. She was great-beautiful, fun, kind, loving, great family, smart, tough, and like I said, she had a maturity that exceeded my own-born out of some hard knocks. We were together for two years. I actually took her to her senior prom, and we made love for the first time that night, when we spent the night in a hotel. I used a condom, but she was also on the pill-we weren't taking any chances. The following fall, she moved into student housing at a nearby community college, and we started spending the night at each other's dorms semi-regularly. We were close, but didn't smother each other. We talked, at least briefly, nearly every evening or night. We got together at least one night every weekend; usually staying at one or the other's dorm for the night (thankfully, we both had private bedrooms at our dorms). Sometimes, we would go to a party together (we were too young for the bars-although I had a fake ID (she didn't)), other times we would go out together or just hand in and watch a movie or whatever. Sometimes, we would make a day out of it. More often than not, we would get together at some point during the week-a night at the movies, a lunch date, or just hang out and watch some TV or do homework together. Nothing stifling, but we made sure we spent plenty of time together. The sex was good, and only got better. We didn't do anything too crazy-missionary position was our preferred method-but we got good at getting each other off orally, and we made the most of our times together. So, after two years of increased emotional intimacy with a girl I loved, and two years of an average of two lengthy sex sessions a week, I went ahead and blew it. For fucking nothing.
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