It was that time of year again. Brilliant fall colors, crisp cool air and winds, sunshine and mist and rain, the annual All Hallow's Eve Ball, and every unmarried, unattached witch and warlock above the age of twenty would be subjected to the painful pangs of uncontrolled, lustful urges and the need to wed and breed. The ball was actually just a way for all the newly wed and pregnant to show off the excellent matches they'd made during the sex-crazed month of October, and for everyone else to be aware of who was left for next year.
Phoebe had given up on finding a match. She honestly didn't need or want one. And there were a great many warlocks and witches that felt the same. Matrimony was overrated, and it annoyed her that the compulsion had been bred into them. Mates for life. How boring. Besides, there wasn't a warlock or witch out there that could really offer her any real intellectual or physical stimulation. The best ones were already taken.
Unfortunately, her genetics wouldn't be denied.
Every month there was four days, for everyone, witch and warlock alike, when the need to mate peaked. Phoebe usually got by during that annoying four-day stretch with handy spells and the occasional wax dildo. Others she knew hit magic bars to find someone to help them work off some guiltless desire. She heard of a couple of people that actually started dating because of that, and once the wed bug came around, they already knew who they wanted. October was always the worst. It was an entire month of the incurable lust. She usually had to lock herself in her house or take constant diffuser potions in order to keep her pheromones and hormones in check up until the ball.
The only positive thing to succumbing to instinct was that once you were wed you had a consistent fuck buddy until you died. Once you found a mate, the mate was found. Chemistry never waned, but lust could still hit you for others besides your significant other. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the point of view), cheating never turned out well. For one, the sex was never good. Once mated, your partner was chemically the best sex you were ever going to have again. And two, the stink of another witch or warlock besides your spouse lingered until you had sex with said spouse again. There was no way to hide adultery. Everyone could smell it.
The moment September started, Phoebe began to anxiously dread October. This was her tenth October since becoming sexually aware and active. She hated having to work from home. Hated suffering through the constant, clawing need. But she hated even more the idea that her female parts could chain her to a moron for the rest of her days. After all, like her mother had said a million times: "Just because it's the best sex you'll ever have, doesn't mean it's any good."
But then Charlotte, Phoebe's newest coworker at Worthington Wizards & Associates handed her a pamphlet during their lunch break, after she had cursed October for the hundredth time.
"Wizard Welhung's Pleasurable Horrors?" Phoebe asked Charlotte incredulously. She couldn't look away from the explicit advertisement. "Don't want to get hitched, but still crave deep satisfaction? Orgasms guaranteed for the single warlock and witch? A multitude of spells and services at your disposal?" She stared at Charlotte. "What the hell is this?"
"It's simple, Phoebe. They specialize in giving you an avenue for your lust without the threat of getting locked into matrimony. The company has just started to get popular and info is only spread by word of mouth. Pamphlets, like this one, are given to satisfied customers." She gave Phoebe a black-lipped grin.
"So you're a customer?"
"For three years now. October is my favorite month. I get regular, amazing sex all month long and don't have to worry about that silly marriage business."
"There's a catch, isn't there?" Phoebe muttered suspiciously.
"It isn't cheap. I save up all year. I already put in my order. I'm going to have my usual delivered to my door in a week. And I'll be able to use the spell during that time of the month as well as in October," Charlotte said and crossed her long legs.
Phoebe couldn't help it. She had to ask. Her eyes narrowed. "What did you order?"
Charlotte laughed. "Summoning spell for a three-dick demon. Big, beefy, with plenty of stamina, a little on the wild side. His tail is a penis. It's awesome."
Phoebe felt her jaw grow a little slack. She fitted it back into place before she looked over the pamphlet with much more interest now. Spells offered included summoning spells for incubi, succubi, demons (of varying color, size and ... parts), and imps. Imps? Seriously? Spells were shipped to one's home address and could only be performed by the witch or warlock who purchased it.
It also advertised custom-built humanoids that one could design. A homunculus.
She blinked in surprise. She could even choose a brain! And ... even animal parts if one wanted. Whoa. There were two options for that service. Premade parts that a customer could choose or to send in specific requests and measurements. "Holy Hells." The example the pamphlet gave was for a four-armed, four-breasted, two-dick man woman thing ... with a cat tail. Whatever your fetish, Wd. Welhung can provide!
"Look it over and then put in your order as soon as you can," Charlotte said. "First come first served for certain things. There isn't an endless supply of demons with three penises, you know."
"Right. Of course." Phoebe's brow furrowed. "How does it work? How do you pay for it? This is your third year buying something? Wouldn't you have kept it if you bought it?"
"Well, Summoning is kind of a rental fee. You aren't allowed to own creatures from other planes, you know. So Pleasurable Horrors sends you the spell but it only works during the designated time period of the rental. After that, the spell ceases to work automatically. Even if you memorize it, when you try to use it either it fizzles or you summon something you don't want to summon." Charlotte wrinkled her nose.
Phoebe's dark eyebrows arched. Clearly the redheaded witch had tried it. "What about the homunculi?"
"Those are a lot more expensive, because you get to keep him if you want to. But they also give you the option of returning the product and getting a portion of your money back. Clearly not all of it, because, well, it's been used. They have a really fair return policy too if you're unsatisfied with the purchase." Charlotte smiled. "I'm telling you, Phoebe. You want to stay single and not have to resort to Animate Dildo spells, Pleasurable Horrors is the way to go."
"I'll think about it."
Several hours later, Phoebe cursed quietly at home as she dumped the potion for the Pleasurable Horrors Order spell-line. The back of the pamphlet had the ingredients for the potion that would connect her directly to the Ordering department. She'd mulled over it for hours after work, but finally gave up fighting it, mixed the components and cast the spell. The cauldron bubbled for thirty seconds before the color changed from green to blue.
"Thank you for potioning Wizard Welhung's Pleasurable Horrors," came a watery disembodied voice from the cauldron. "We are currently experiencing a high level of potion access. Please hold and your spell will be answered in the order it was received." The liquid inside the cauldron began to fade from blue to green and back again in a steady rhythm as a low, watery chant started. Phoebe groaned. She hated on-hold music.
Thirty minutes of the obnoxious music later, and partway through chapter eight of Toad Toxins and Remedies, a crisp voice came from the cauldron as the liquid turned bright blue and the vapors formed the head of a middle-aged witch with frizzy hair barely held back in a bun. "Thank you for holding! I apologize for the wait. I'm Bertie and I will be assisting you with your order today. How can I help you?"
Phoebe closed the book and removed her glasses, putting them on top of the volume before standing and approaching the cauldron. "Hello, Bertie. I have a few questions before I place my order, if that's okay."
"Of course, sugar. What can I help you with?"
Phoebe shifted. "So, uh, there's a 'please ask about user agreements and disclaimers when placing orders' note here at the bottom of the pamphlet. What's that about?"
"Oh, that's specifically for summoning spell purchases. Beings from other planes, especially the sexually based ones advertised, can be very volatile, chaotic, and potentially dangerous. We always recommend that those purchasing an incubus or a succubus take potions to prevent soul consumption. Also, the customer has to sign an agreement not to permanently damage or kill whatever creature has been summoned. The Protection of Summoned Entities Act requires that we have that agreement signed in all purchases of summoning spells."
Phoebe nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Bertie."
"Are you interested in an incubus, succubus, demon or a gang of imps?" Bertie's floating head asked sweetly.
Phoebe's red lips flattened and she shook her head. "No. Your answered confirmed my worry about purchasing a summoning spell. Actually, my next question was about what I'm really interested in. How does the custom-built homunculus thing work?"
"Oh, that's easy and oh, so much fun. Right here I take your order and we work together from top to bottom to make you the ideal sex slave, fuck buddy, or dominatrix of your wildest dreams!"
Phoebe felt her face heat up. "Right. So. Yeah. Let's do that."
"All righty! So, male or female?"
"Male, please, thank you."
"Preferred height? Give me a range."
"Between five-ten and six-four... ?"
.... There is more of this story ...