Hi folks. I have no idea what happened last week with the double posting. It was supposed to be another roughly four or five pager. This one is even shorter than last week and should be less than five pages, that is for all of you who actually bother to read the story. I'd like to thank as always mikothebaby for her usual editing prowess. SS06
Like most guys, during my lifetime I've looked at some porn ... okay, I've seen a lot of porn. But I've also been on the internet and read some of those divorce and cheating stories. I read them to help me deal with something I was going through at the time and to get a handle on how someone very close to me had to be feeling when he went through it.
I've always had my own opinions over the way the guys in the stories handled their wives and the guys they cheated with. And under no circumstances would anyone ever think that I'd be a cuck or a wimp. It is simply not in my nature. I always had a very strong opinion on exactly what I'd do in that situation, but I never thought I'd actually ever do it.
One reason is that most of us talk a lot of shit when we're not in that situation but when you're the person it happens to, everything you thought about, all of your tough assed bullshit goes out the window. When it's your heart that is being ripped still beating from your chest and not some fictional character's, everything is different.
Most of those stories start out with a guy coming home early to find a strange car in his driveway. In my case, I did come home early, but the car in my driveway was all too familiar to me.
Unlike those guys in the stories, I knew from halfway down the block that something was strange in the neighborhood. I parked my car a Mustang GT, three houses down the block and waved to my retired neighbor, Benson Dubois, whose house I parked in front of.
I walked down the block as quickly and as quietly as I could. I opened my front door as quietly as I could too. I heard the bed springs squeaking as soon as I got inside the house. My blood pressure must have shot up at least fifty points. But my brain was functioning clearly.
I knew that my wife was upstairs and I knew who she was upstairs with. I'd known the bastard since we were toddlers and we'd fought over Kathy until I finally just married her to end the competition.
On one hand, the news that Kathy was fucking the bastard was a shock to me. He and I had become good friends over the past twelve years since I married Kathy. There were a lot of guys who I thought at some time might've stabbed me in the back but he wasn't one of them. I guess I'd just learned the definition of frenemy.
On the other hand, it gave me the chance to do something I'd wanted to do for years. So I didn't go charging upstairs just yet. The man upstairs fucking my soon to be ex-wife was Josh Patterson. We'd grown up "three doors down" from each other and had known each other all our lives. He always thought of himself as some kind of Superman. We disagreed on everything and had always competed since the days of PAL football and little league baseball.
I liked action movies like every other red blooded American man (and all of the coolest women). He preferred French art films. Or at least he did on the surface. He was an asshole from the start. He was always the one on movie day in school who'd suggest some foreign film that none of us had ever heard of. It was only one of his attempts to prove his superiority over the rest of us. When we did see one of the movies he'd suggested, he was usually the one who didn't understand it. He'd also explain this by claiming that the version we'd seen was a remake and the original was far superior.
He loved European sedans and pretended to collect art. I love old school muscle cars and I drive new muscle. I may as well admit it to you now. I have an obsession with Mustangs. So as I crept silently back out my front door, I stopped off in my kitchen and grabbed a screwdriver, a hammer and a cup of sugar. I walked over to the BMW parked behind my Jeep.
With a relish I'd never have imagined, I plunged the screwdriver into the tires one after another. I smiled with glee hearing the air screaming out of the expensive rubber, protesting the invasion of its structural integrity. No one should ever treat a fine specimen of automobilia that way.
I looked around and made sure no one was looking. I thought I saw someone behind a tree but I couldn't be sure. I tried to open his gas tank door and found it was locked; screwdriver to the rescue. I pried the door open and removed the gas cap and pissed into his gas tank. Then I poured all of the sugar in after that.
I dropped the hammer on the ground. I figured I'd come back later for that. I crept back inside the house and quickly, but quietly moved up the stairs. I could hear Josh grunting and Kathy whining as I ascended the carpet covered stairs.
"You're not doing it right," she whined.
"But I'm doing it," he wheezed. "If you're so particular about what you want, just let Brian get you off when he gets home. Satisfying his wife is supposed to be HIS job. This is just for fun."
"Yeah, but so far you're the only one having fun," she snapped. "I think next time I'll pick someone else. I still don't know why you wanted to do this. You're supposed to be his friend."
"Brian and I have always competed for everything," he wheezed. It sounded like he was really out of breath. I knew from experience that it took a lot of stamina to get Kathy off. And it sounded like Josh needed to hit the gym more often.
"That bastard stole you away from me," he wheezed. "You were always my girl. He cheated and snatched you right out from my arms. Maybe we were friends on the surface, but I've been waiting for the right time to get back at that bastard and now I have. It feels really good. I feel really powerful; like a jungle animal. I'm the king of the jungle baby. Get down on your knees and suck my dick. When Brian comes home, I think you should just take a shower but don't clean up down there. Leave my stuff inside of you. Let that asshole have my sloppy seconds."
"Josh, your sperm is so thin and watery that it'll probably run out of me as soon as I stand up. And as for sucking your dick your highness, that won't happen until you get me off at least once. Are you out of practice or something?" asked Kathy. "Don't you and Pearl have sex regularly?"
"Even you can't spoil my mood Kathy," he said. "Nothing you can say affects me. I have stolen and fucked another man's woman. In the language of the jungle that only men understand, I have power over Brian now. Whenever we compete at anything, I'll have the edge, because I'll know deep down inside who is the better more virile man. I feel like a lion that just pounced on his defenseless prey."
"But you look more like a fly that just bounced off of a stinking turd," I said loud enough for them to hear. I'd been hiding behind the door taking video and snap shots with my iPhone. I intended to use the high def video and audio as my evidence in the divorce case. Unfortunately, Kathy didn't say anything incriminating that I could use against her. It wouldn't matter, I had what I needed. I carefully put my phone away and started moving towards the bed.
I immediately knew that there was something funny going on. I heard a mixture of screams and calming voices coming from the bed. Josh was screaming like a girl and Kathy was trying to calm me down. It really should have been the other way.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Please don't hurt me! It was her fault, the evil bitch. She made me do it. She came after me. I'm a weak man Brian. I gave in to the sins of the flesh," screamed Josh, who towered over me and outweighed me by at least fifty pounds at two twenty five.
"Brian, calm down," said Kathy. "Honey this isn't what you think. If I wanted to cheat on you, I'd have picked something better than that."
"I am calm," I said as I punched Josh in the nose as hard as I could. His face turned bloody in an instant and he tried to hide under the covers next to Kathy. He fell off the bed on the other side and started trying to scramble to his feet, backing away from me.
"Josh, use your Karate," yelled Kathy as I advanced on him.
"Really Kath," I said. We'd both been forced to watch as Josh took a Karate class at the local YMCA along with his 6 year old son. Josh jumped into a stance with his fist held out and one leg behind the other like they did in his Karate class. His face took on a serious expression despite the blood flowing from his busted nose.
"Horse stance, now," I yelled just like his instructor did in class and laughably, Josh switched into a horse stance. The horse stance is ridiculous. You have both of your legs very far apart like you were riding a horse. Josh actually helped me. He did a little jump and came down lightly on the balls of his feet in a horse stance.
Imagine if you will, a two hundred twenty five pound man descending earthward propelled downwards by gravity. This man solidly impacts the rapidly rising foot of a man who weighs one hundred and seventy pounds, who's put everything he has into the kick. How many factors do we have here? Mass, Velocity, Gravity, Impact and Force. If you do the math ... well fuck the math, when my foot hit Josh's nuts, he screamed so loud the guys on the international space station must've heard him.
.... There is more of this story ...