Is there any woman who doesn't remember the astounding day she woke up with her very first erection? My personal memory of what should have been a thrilling experience is forever marred by the reaction of Mark, my husband. I, like most of the newly created futanari, had slept through the process of my new penis erupting through the final layer of my epidermis. I had gone to bed feeling quite bloated and ill, and had taken a sleep aide to try and get some much needed rest.
Mark, missing our usual Saturday night scheduled weekly lovemaking, had stayed up late reading. Or so he claimed. I suspect he was partaking of his usual hobby. Whenever I "Had a Headache", which frankly was most Saturdays, he would wait until I was sound asleep and pull the covers off of my naked body. He never did anything TOO inappropriate, but he sure did like to rub one off while watching the rise and fall of my breasts.
I couldn't really blame him for his infantile interest in my rather over-abundant 55F wonders. My toned athletic six foot six Amazonian stature let me pull off the look without looking ridiculous. My being a bit broad in my shoulders, ribcage and hips made my overly developed bust look quite proportional to me. It gave me a bit of an exaggerated hourglass figure when combined with my flat firm tummy, but there was no doubt the men (and quite a few ladies!) appreciated my charms. Quite often I'd wake up with a wee little bit of crusted semen caked on one or the other of my breasts, never both. Mark never could produce much in the way of ejaculate. I guess that's why he thought I'd never notice his little hobby.
It was no big deal. I got my beauty sleep, and he had a bit of fun fantasizing and squirting on an overgrown blonde Valkyrie! (I should never have let him talk me into wearing a horned helmet last Halloween!) Since our lovemaking always ended up with me having to masturbate after Mark dozed off anyway, it hardly seemed worth mentioning. Pleasing my own body while in the shower sure beat being frustrated by Mark's sixty second, single shot technique. It was win-win all around!
Anyway, I digress. Mark woke me up that fateful night by screaming like a little girl being murdered. After scaring the living hell out of me, he actually fainted from the shock of witnessing a big thick cock burst from my body, and rapidly expand to a wrist thick full eighteen inches! Thankfully, by wrist thick I meant his. Frankly, Mark is rather skinny. Last Christmas he had bought us his and her Rolex watches. It embarrassed the hell out of him when we ended up trading off because mine was too small, while his was too large. He was going to have a jeweler resize both bands, but I said why bother and just took his. I never told him that I later went to the jeweler and had mine sized up just a smidgen. Even the men's model was a touch too snug.
I bet I'm the only futanari who didn't masturbate herself senseless right off the bat, so to speak. My glorious first erection wilted fast as my husband's terrified screams woke our three month old daughter Michelle. Instead of exploring this exciting new aspect of my sexuality, I was kept busy trying to calm the babies in my life. Honestly, Michelle was easier. She had been fussy all night, but now she seemed her normal sweet self.
Once I picked her up so she could suckle, my darling angel was quite happy as her little tummy filled with milk. When she gave me a cute little contented burp after her feeding, I decided to change her. Removing her old diaper revealed it to be spotted with just a tiny bit of blood. I was alarmed at first. When I saw that my beautiful baby girl had only grown a penis just as her mother had, for some reason I calmed right down. I guess the change had entailed some subtle alteration of my mind to let me accept such a thing. Of course hers was nothing like mine in size! I would later learn that she too would grow to be quite impressive, due to the genetic re-write we had both received.
Soon Mark started screaming all over again. The ass had followed me into the nursery just in time to get a peek at Michelle's cute little addition before I finished diapering her. I couldn't help it. "Control yourself!" I hissed as I, for the first time in our married, life struck my husband. While I'm not bulked out with hulking muscles, I am rather strong. I hadn't meant to, but accidentally sent the hysterically screaming man reeling and staggering across the room with my backhand across his whimpering mouth.
Mark sat on the floor in the corner of the nursery, whimpering softly as I held Michelle in my arms and gently rocked her to sleep. He wouldn't even come near me until Michelle was tucked away back in her crib, and I threw on some clothes to hide my new addition. I knew it had to be a massive shock to him, but Hell, I was a bit upset and confused myself! He didn't have to act like Michelle and I had turned into a couple of monsters though!
Having a cock was startling, but somehow I seemed to accept it quite readily. I couldn't see how it could be any danger to me or my precious daughter. Millions of men enjoyed having them, so why wouldn't I? After I flatly refused to listen to any nonsense about him taking us to the hospital, Mark took himself to the guest room and went back to bed a shaken man. I guess I don't blame him. I felt ashamed by the little trickle of blood from where I had split his now swollen and puffy upper lip. He looked like a bar room brawler as he closed the door. When I heard the lock click, it sounded loud as thunder.
I had no real interest in sex with my hair trigger pop and wilt husband before my change, but that stunning metamorphosis seemed to have jump started my libido! The next morning I tried to patch things up with him with the offer of a nice Sunday morning lovemaking session! I was only to learn that he had lost all interest in me because of my new cock. He didn't come out and say it, but it was plain to see that he was downright terrified of my new sensuality. Frankly, I was hornier then I had ever been since he popped my cherry on our wedding night and I learned that he couldn't last long enough to get me off too. No matter how I tried seducing him, he couldn't bring himself to even kiss me. I think he was scared I'd attempt to use my penis and sodomize him. He needn't have worried. I couldn't think of anything we had in to safely use as a lubricant.
I even went to the extreme and ruined my favorite button fly jeans. I carefully cut out part of the crotch so he could have easy access to my vagina, without seeing my cock. I picked the lock of his bedroom door, and slipped in. That didn't work! Even though I had timed it just right and caught him masturbating to some porn he was playing on his laptop, his slender five inches grew flaccid seconds after I stepped into the room. He could see the outline of my arousal as a very large package that extended up under my clingy sweater to nestle comfortably between my breasts.
The wimp wouldn't even let me try to suck him into another erection, when he used to regularly beg me for the one thing I always flat out refused to do for him! I made a slight miscalculation, and sort of hinted that it was only fair to go sixty-nine. That would let us both try performing fellatio for the first time together. The look of horrified disgust on his face cooled me right off. What was his problem? He had bugged me for almost four years to take his cock in my mouth! What would be so wrong with him now being able to return the favor?
Two days after my cock sprouted, Mark didn't come home from his law office. Instead, a Process Server showed up and floored me with the Petition of Uncontested Divorce Mark drew up, acting as his own attorney! What could I do? He was offering me very generous alimony and child support terms, a huge lump sum payment, plus the Condominium and car. He even waived certain rights, and locked in an ironclad clause to bind him into paying alimony as well as child support, even if I was to remarry. I'm sure that was just to rub my nose in how wealthy he is. He was just declaring that such a pittance was nothing to him. Whatever the reason, the document saw to it that I was financially set for life!
I should have been happy to see the last of him, and I was. Still, I could hardly see the papers through my angry tears as I signed. I was truly glad of it, but the ass put it right down in the papers that he wanted no custody or visitation rights with sweet little Michelle! How could he blame such a darling child for what fate had her become? I was just happy that he used her proper name. The jerk had taken to calling my angel Michael, and insisted that the lovely girl was his son!
His son, indeed! Well, at least that charade was over! I always had the nagging fear that Mark would someday realize that my darling angel was born nine months after I had been away for a few weeks helping a childhood friend prepare for her wedding day. I worried that he would divorce me over my little indiscretion, never dreaming what the future actually held in store!
That Bachelorette party sure had been a rousing success! I fondly remembered the handsome redheaded bartender. (Well, all except for remembering his name!) He was just my height, and built like a Greek God! He had a beautiful cock nearly as large as the one I had ended up growing! Thank goodness nobody managed to get any video of me panting and moaning in sheer ecstasy while he had me bent over the bar like some raving nymphomaniac whore! I was forced through one orgasm after another as he pounded into me like an animal in heat! It was marvelous! I had no need to sneak off and diddle myself to release that night! He kept us both going for so long, that I could hardly stand up when we had finally finished!
Here's a tip. Never do jello shots on the day you're ovulating! Especially if you had been "Having Headaches" with your husband for weeks before actually leaving town! I was drunk enough that I hadn't insisted on using the condoms I always carried on my not infrequent extramarital adventures. To be honest, I forgot all about them once my attentive bartender showed me his magnificent shaft!
Groggy, weak legged, and quite hung over, yet pleasantly sore by the time my friend Mary managed to get me back to her guestroom, I realized my little error. I noticed I still had quite a bit of semen oozing from my vagina. Shit! I had committed the cardinal sin of leaving myself unable to reconcile the timing while going bareback with a total stranger on my most fertile day! I was never that careless with any other rendezvous! The bartender's was the only load to enter my body since my last period!
Even though scared, I couldn't help smiling. Skipping the condom had granted me my very first creamy-pie! That beautiful Bartender was only the second man to ever enter me truly naked, and deposit his load directly inside of my body with no condom to contain his issue. What a load it had been! After my husband spends in me, I never noticed anything but my own lubrication afterward! The bartender's seed was still flowing from me a couple hours later!
Thankfully Mark thought he finally managed to knock me up because I covered my ass by letting him take me right then and there in the airport! I'm regular as a clock, and by that time it was a solid week past my optimum fertile period. Mark didn't need to know that! I made noises about "Oh no, not today! You don't have a condom!" and let him do his super-speedy titty-squeezy best. Approximately two minutes of risking discovery in an empty lounge was well worth the price of assurance! Annoying as it was, it made an invaluable insurance policy against discovery of my little slip up.
If Mark ever questioned things, I could always point to the memorable time we, or more precisely, he had at the airport and just hope he wouldn't ask for a DNA test! I myself had no doubts on the score just seconds after Michelle was born and gently placed on my tummy. My beloved little angel had the same blazing red hair as her handsome nameless father. As the months passed, her eyes began taking on the same lovely shade of green her daddy possessed, and she had the same heavenly smile!
I seriously lucked out when the world went a little crazy the day after I signed the papers. Apparently Michelle and I had been among the very first to transform. That made sense after what I had later learned. I had been one of the very first to suffer through an annoying two week bout of the Dryden Sniffles while pregnant. Michelle's tiny body had been fully formed and distinctly female within my womb when she had received the virus through my bloodstream. I'm no expert like Doctor Mary Ellen Dryden, but I guess Michelle too had to gradually change as the virus slowly altered our DNA.
When I saw the news reports of what was happening around the world as other women joined us by suddenly growing rather large organs. It terrified me! I wasn't scared of the massive genetic restructuring that only struck tall busty women, and girls like my lovely Michelle who were genetically programmed to grow up tall and busty. It was the reaction of the authorities that filled me with dread!
Larder fully stocked, and with a good supply of diapers, I holed up at home with Michelle for a few days and managed to avoid being picked up in that horrid "Futanari Round-up"! I just thank God that the president managed to get things under control, and sign a sweeping pardon and release for anyone who may have gotten into a little trouble when women and sexually mature girls from all walks of life basically threw themselves at the feet of the new futanari!
The rest of the world soon followed suit. In some places, a heavy price was paid. Quite a few nations with poor histories of civil rights toward women underwent remarkably swift and bloody revolutions as women rose up in arms against their male oppressors. The younger men saw the writing on the wall, and joined the women in overthrowing whole governments. After centuries of male rule, several countries had ended up being led by beautiful shapely statuesque women after the upheaval.
Newsweek even ran a remarkable series of photographs taken in the Middle East that depicted massive bon fires consisting of nothing but discarded burning burqas. It's rumored that they held back a few pictures showing fantastic street orgy scenes, as the newly emancipated women "thanked" the futanari that had lead the fight for freedom!
I'm just glad that the upheaval the United States went through was of a less violent and bloody nature thanks to the leadership of President Greenfield! Quite a few embarrassingly unavoidable pheromone triggered incestuous trysts had resulted in some mighty twisted family trees in those crazy times! So many mothers, daughters, grandmothers, grand-daughters, aunts and nieces had found new ways to define "Close knit family", in every possible combination! It would have been an exercise in futility to try and arrest them all on charges of incest and statutory rape! The courts had little choice in the matter. Incest was made legal, as long as at least one participant was a futanari!
My other lucky break was my best friend. Lisa Redford had undergone the change too, so our friendship wasn't thrust into the twilight zone by my pheromones pushing us into something we weren't ready for.
Six months after signing the papers, my divorce was final. Lisa came over to keep me company, and I suspect to keep me from drinking too many toasts to my new freedom. Just as obsessive/compulsive as ever, she showed up dressed from head to toe in vivid pink. Being used to it, I made no comment. What I did comment on was her lovely little wife. "Oh Pandora, you're so adorable!" I couldn't help squealing as I gave the gravid redhead a big hug. "You're prettier every time I see you!"
She sighed. "I'm a whale, but thanks for being nice about it."
Lisa giggled. "Patty, would you tell her that pregnant women are beautiful? I don't think she believes me!"
I gave Pan a little kiss on the forehead. It was safe. Her immunity to the pheromones would last until she weaned her yet to be born baby from her breast milk. It seemed to be yet another protective feature of the Dryden genetic re-write. "Pandora, if you didn't belong to Lisa, I'd steal you for myself! You're gorgeous!"
Lisa laughed. "Hey Patty, wanna see something cool?"
Pam clapped her hands to her ears. "Don't do it!" she cried.
"Do what?" I asked, more then a little curious.
"This!" Lisa held up her iPhone, and triggered an MP3 file.
A loud recording of a baby crying filled the air. "Shit!" I joined Pan and clapped my hands to my ears, but it was too late!
"Patty, what's wrong?" The pink clad dork cried.
"Lisa you dope, Michelle is just nine months! I'm nowhere near drying up yet! I'm still seriously lactating here! I'm a cow! I donate my excess milk to the hospital maternity ward! You just triggered my damn "Let Down" reflex!" Pan and I now both had rather embarrassing wet spots growing from firmly erect nipples.
"Lisa, you're a big pink idiot!" Pan sighed. "She keeps doing that to me, ever since she found out that women impregnated by futanari start lactating very early during pregnancy! Lisa, did you at least pack me a damn clean shirt?" Pandora demanded as she held her hands over her modest, but quite lovely breasts. "I don't want to spend the rest of the day smelling like sour milk!"
"Oh, sorry guys!" she giggled. "I usually just drink Pan's overflow!" She licked her lips. "I don't use a bottle; I get it fresh from the tap!"
"Well, you aren't drinking hers!" Pandora snapped. "No offense, Patty, but I have to keep an eye on Miss hot pants here! The bitch will pork anything in a skirt!"
"Hey, I do not!" Lisa blushed. "I only fuck the ones that beg me if you aren't there threatening to shoot them!"
I was startled when Pandora pulled the small Smith and Wesson 642 Airweight from the special pocket she had skillfully added to all her maternity pants. The enclosed hammer construction made it perfect for conceal/carry. There was nothing to snag onto clothes or holster if needed in a hurry. The stainless steel barrel gleamed in the sunlight streaming through the window as she pointed it at the floor. "When those horny bitches see I'm packing some non-biological heat, it sure makes them think twice!"
"Yikes! Put that away! Don't worry Pan; I ain't dropping my panties for the likes of her! I have my own cock. I don't need to play with another one!" I couldn't help a snide smirk. "Besides, mine is bigger!"
The gun vanished beneath the waistband at the small of her back, just as quickly as it had appeared. "I didn't mean to frighten you! You know I'd never risk my investigator's license by pulling on civilians! I was just kidding! Didn't you notice that the safety was on, and my finger was outside the trigger guard?"
I fidgeted and tried to hide it, but I wasn't scared in the least. Some weird little cross circuit in my brain made seeing a sexy woman with a six month baby belly holding a gun had triggered me into popping a serious boner! "Pardon me, but, um, I wasn't exactly scared!"
"Patty, you should see her with a Remington Pump Shotgun! I thought I'd pop my load when she slipped it up between her legs and stroked it like a cock!"
"Shut the fuck up, Pinkie Pie!" Pandora turned red as a beet. "What is that, a futa thing? Lisa makes me pose naked with my artillery almost every night! No offense Patty, but I'm sure glad I can say no to you right now!"
I giggled. "That's okay. Show it to me again after the baby is born, okay?"
My heart skipped a beat when Pan glanced at Lisa, who gave her a smile and a little nod. "Um, sure Patty, uh, maybe we can do that some time. I, I would like to "Show you" again." She giggled. "After the baby is born, come over some night Pinkie is out, and I'll give you a real show!"
I did some quick arithmetic in my head. Three months until Pan had her baby. Give her a month to recover. No, make it two, just to be sure! Five months! In less than half a year, I would lose my male type virginity! "It's a date!" I said a bit louder than I should have.
That idea seemed to please Lisa. She was staring at Pan now with a very hungry look in her eyes. Pandora glared right back. "No, I'm not nursing you again today! You know where that always leads! Jeeze, you already fucked me in the cab on the way over! You should be sated for at least a couple hours! Gimmie that damn breast-pump or I'll only give you hand-jobs until the baby is born!"
"Oh my God, that's a fate worse than death!" Lisa cried in mock dismay while shrugging off her ridiculous pink backpack to rummage through it. "Here you go, Pan!" She winked at me. "Since she got herself all knocked up, I can only get about half my dick into her. That half is heavenly though! She gets tighter up there as her belly gets bigger! It's amazing!"
"Pinkie, would you shut up? Can't you see you're embarrassing Patty?"
I was embarrassed, but that wasn't all. I had to extend my right leg straight out in front of me as I sat on the sofa. My boner had crept down the pant leg to extend past my knee as it throbbed into full turgid erect hardness. I was pretty much trapped where I was, unless I wanted to resort to pulling down my jeans to "arrange" myself in front of company! I know its personal preference, but I rather have my boners point up and nestled between my tits. Walking is much more comfortable that way! "Lisa, you're such a big pervert! Go to the kitchen and get my pump too!"
"Alright already, I'm going!" Lisa hurried off and returned with my Ameda Elite hospital grade electric breast pump.
Pandora's eyes lit up when she saw the unit. "That's the one!" she shouted as she assembled collection bottle and flange to the small manual hand pump Lisa had given her. "Pinkie, that's the one I wanted you to get me! It's like the ones they use at the hospital!"
Lisa giggled. "Who was the one that told me using the hand pump was a great way to strengthen her grip for when she finally gets the Pfeifer-Zeliska .600 Nitro Express Magnum she just ordered?" She gave me a wink. "Someone I know got a 20K bonus after solving a kidnapping and returning the child alive and unharmed. She's dropping most of it on a new toy!"
"Pinkie, do shut up!" Pan blushed, turning very pink herself. "The Zeliska is the most powerful handgun in the world!" Pan said somewhat dreamily. She shook herself. "The Ameda Elite is nothing to sneeze at either! I just appreciate fine engineering!"
I smiled. "I'd let you get in on this, Pan, but" I held up one of the custom made flanges. "It may be just a touch too big for your itty bitty nipples to fit"
She giggled. "I don't think my big toe is big enough to fit that!"
I calmed down quite a bit, and Pan and I just chatted away as we expressed our milk. Pan was using the standard bottles, while I had to use the extra large collection bags needed by most lactating futanari. We both kept an eye on Lisa. The poor horny thing had retreated to the corner, and was pretending great interest in my book case.
"I don't have any murder mysteries, but help yourself to any science fiction you may want to borrow." I called, hardly keeping the laughter out of my voice.
Pan tapped me on the shoulder. "At home I chase her out of the apartment when I'm pumping. She gets so horny she practically rapes me when I'm done!"
"Practically?" I asked with a grin.
"Well, it isn't rape if I want her to do it." She sighed happily. "It's very reassuring that she's still turned on, even if I'm as big as a whale!" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Sometimes I get the feeling that she can't wait for me to drop the weight after I give birth. I look like I swallowed a damn beach ball!"
"You look great, Pan!" I shouted just a little too enthusiastically. I felt my face get warm "Sorry, you don't have anything to worry about from me."
Lisa turned and gulped at seeing us sitting topless, side by side, while each filling our receptacles with fresh milk. Her eyes were riveted to the python down my pant leg. "Whoa!" she gasped. "Um, I mean, Patty, are you still a virgin?"
"Uh, I have a daughter. Who do you take me for, the Virgin Mary?"
"No, I mean, uh, haven't you used your dick yet?"
"I'm a single mother, Lisa! Who has the time?" I grinned sheepishly. "Besides, I always have my onahole!"
"That's not the same! Why don't you get out there and find yourself some nice mono-sex woman to score with?"
"There's nothing wrong with me fucking my onahole! It's a very good simulation! I wedge it between my mattress and box spring to hold it in place, and then I kneel on the floor and go all doggie style wild on my bed!" I felt myself blushing. I hadn't meant to give quite that much information!
"You, you fuck your bed?" She giggled. "Miss Posturepedic, may I call you Sealy? Your coils are so hot! I'm gonna knock you up, and make you have a little baby futon!" Lisa began laughing so hard I thought she was in danger of swallowing her tongue and choking to death!
"Hey, it isn't funny! I missed out on the fun during the first days, because my damn husband was such a little pussy about it! I spent all my time trying to coddle him, while taking care of Michelle!" I sighed. "Now all the available women are wearing respirator masks in public! I can't just score a quickie and move on, and I don't have time to try and hook up with a curious mono at a futa bar!" I shook my head. "Besides, you other futanari bitches used up all the virgins!"
"Not ALL the virgins!" Pan said with a wicked grin.
"Pan, shut up!" Lisa yelled, laughter forgotten. "I said not to mention that!"
I reached over past the pump at her right breast and gave her unoccupied left nipple a firm pinch. "Spill it, pee-wee!"
"Hey, cut that out!" she gasped as her milk squirted warmly against my hand. "I was already going to tell you!" She let out a deep breath when I released the delectable little nub. "I did some deep background on Miss Virginia Arlington. First, I can report that her name is real. Apparently her parents couldn't resist making a joke out of naming her."
"Do you mean Ginny the mouse? Ginny, the fucking bitch, um, I mean the nice young daughter of my ex-husband's only client? The woman he is marrying tomorrow, before the ink is even dry on our final divorce papers?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Pan, why the hell were you investigating her?"
"Pandora, you can't tell her!" Lisa said with a worried look on her face, sitting tensely on the very edge of the easy-chair she had perched on. "I hired you! I paid you a dollar on retainer!"
"Pinkie, I told you right from the start. I'm not a lawyer! There's a reasonable expectation of confidentiality when you hire a PI, but this is different." Her eyes flashed emerald fire. "I love you, and I understand the futanari need to play the field." Her voice dropped to a tightly controlled whisper. "But I'll be damned if I'll help you score while I sit home with swollen ankles and a bladder the size of a chickpea!"
Lisa opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "Oh God, Pan, I, I never meant it like that!" She practically shoved me off of the sofa when she rushed over to wrap her arms around the still pumping redhead. "Oh Pan, you misunderstood! I, um, I didn't set this up for me, honest! It, it's for a gift! Yeah, that's right! It's for Patty's birthday!"
"My birthday isn't until next month." I said with a laugh. "What the hell is going on? Is Lisa on the prowl for some hot tail again?"
Lisa looked at me over Pan's head and made frantic slashing motions with her hand across her throat, like a director cutting a scene. "The timing is a bit off!" she finally yelled at near the top of her voice in an attempt to drown me out. "But, but I finally thought of the perfect birthday gift for my best friend!"
Pandora sighed. "It wasn't for you?" she said softly. "I, I thought you were getting tired of me being too big, and having to go pee every fifteen minutes!" She sniffed, sounding only seconds away from bursting into tears. It suddenly felt like a very bad idea to make an armed pregnant woman cry, so I kept my mouth tightly shut as Lisa continued her dissembling.
"What kind of a bitch would run around just when her wife needed her most?" Lisa gently rubbed Pandora's tummy. "Are you kidding me? It's so cute when you blush and hurry off to the bathroom! Do I ever complain if you accidentally wet the bed a little? I know I just slipped you the juice. You're the one doing all the hard work! Honey, I think it's adorable how our baby is making you grow!"
"I'm not just growing; I'm as big as a house!" Pandora wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know I'm not too sexy right now, and I lost a lot of my elasticity so the baby is protected while I'm pregnant, but that will return once the baby is safely born! My figure will bounce right back! You'll see! Our altered DNA takes care of that. I swear I'll be able to take all of you again!"
"Pan, you're my sexy little MILF!" Lisa assured, giving her a sweet little kiss, before turning to give me a look that just begged for help. "I get so turned on knowing that pretty tummy of yours is growing bigger because our baby is in there! Honest, I'm not going after any more strange pussy until you feel comfortable enough to be right at my side again! Isn't it your job to wipe my precum on their faces, or slip it in their drinks? Don't I always fuck you first, while they beg and plead for their turn? Don't you then torment them with your tongue, while they cry for something bigger and harder up inside them? Who then goes to town, cleaning up those yummy creamy-pies? Pan, we're a team! I, um, I'd never want to play "Pop the Cherry" without you!"
Lisa looked frantic. Whatever the two had cooked up between them had nearly devastated the hormonally charged Pandora. The horny futa bitch only figured that out just before it was too late! I didn't know just what the hell was going on, but I knew I needed to help somehow! Poor Pan looked so dejected and sad. "Um, yeah, Lisa, spill it! What's this, uh, surprise birthday plan you've been teasing me about for the last week, ah, I mean month? It's about time you told me all about this secret project you talked Pandora into doing solely for my benefit and nobody else!"
"Oh Pinkie, I love you!" Pan cried, while burying her face in Lisa's abundant cleavage. "Can you forgive me for ever doubting you?"
Stroking Pan's vivid red hair, Lisa paused with both hands cupped gently over the happily sobbing woman's ears. "I owe you big time!" she mouthed nearly silently to me while looking totally embarrassed. "I almost did something really stupid!"
I waited a moment while they sort of forgot me and necked on my sofa. "Would somebody please tell me exactly what is going on?" I finally asked when they came up for air. "I, um, I mean, what is my birthday present?"
Blushing, but happy again, Pandora composed herself. She detached the collection bottle from her pump, attached a silicone nipple, and handed it to Lisa. "Patty, Pinkie here came up with an interesting theory about Virginia. I did a little digging, and from what I can determine, the subject's state of, uh, grace, matches her name."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Lisa looked at me coyly, and then nervously took a sip from the bottle she held. Pandora's warm milk seemed to steady her. "Virginia is a virgin. I figured anyone with such a total self righteous bitch of a mother just had to be one!"
"Mrs. Arlington." I said with a bitter laugh. "It's a wonder that woman even let her dearly departed bankroll, oh, pardon me, husband, touch her long enough to produce a child!"
The elegant ice queen Hester Prynne Arlington (The media loved making the first letter of her last name a vivid red any time it appeared in text) was the bane of every futanari's existence! She turned a large portion of her late husband's wealth over to trying by any means possible to reinstate the round-up for what she calls "The Abominations". She lectures often on how the newly announced Portal Technology from that exciting new start-up company "Cake is a Lie" should be utilized to transport and imprison all futanari in an escape proof penal colony on the moon.
She saw conspiracies around every corner, claiming futanari were aliens trying to make men extinct. The crazy bitch even went as far as insisting that President Cynthia Francis Greenfield herself pushed the button! Hester insisted that the nuclear tragedy that removed all hope of what she called a "Cure" for the "Affliction" was not a computer malfunction, but deliberate murder! She actually filed suit against the federal government, citing the laughable charge of the president's alleged "Crimes against Humanity"!
The woman was an obvious nut-job! Who would be insane enough to use a nuclear warhead to kill just ten doctors? If what Hester claimed was true, those doctors would have all just died of sudden car crashes and the like. Everyone knows that the CIA does that kind of stuff all the time! Using a thermonuclear warhead would give all new meaning to the phrase Over-kill! Hester's wild claims only serve to mar the wonderful work that the president is doing towards global disarmament in honor of those poor men! I'm just glad that the Supreme Court rejected her ridiculous lawsuit!
"Her old coot of a husband never did touch her!" Pan laughed. "If you'd like to see it later, I have a sworn affidavit from a technician who used to work for a very exclusive fertility clinic. The Scarlet Letter was inseminated artificially with her husband's sperm out of a cryo-bank. The old boy couldn't get it up for his precious little viper! At eighty-five, he was damn lucky he could still chew his own food!"
Lisa took another soothing suck of her bottle. "Ain't that a kick in the head? Hester-poo even had a C Section. Technically speaking, the bitch may be a mommy, but she's still a virgin too!"
"That's kinda hot, but what does it mean to me?" I sighed. "Mark may be a spineless jerk, but I don't have the heart to stand in the way of him marrying into such a high tax bracket!"
Lisa finished the last of her drink, just in time to accept a second bottle, fresh from Pandora's lovely breasts. "Why would you want Mark the loser to pop little Ginny's cherry when you can do it for him? What's an ex-wife for, if she can't warm up the next model for her hubby? Hunting season opens tonight, Elmer, and it ain't any Wascally Wabbit you'll be after!"
Pan laughed. "What that cartoon loving big pink overgrown infant means is that I know when and where the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are taking place."
Lisa took the nipple from her lips and blushed. "Who are you calling an infant?" she stammered, while clutching a baby bottle in her hand.
Pan giggled. "Drink your milk, baby!"
"I'm not a freakin' baby!" Lisa muttered before taking another pull at the milk filled bottle.
"Patty, what if I was to tell you I have a friend who has guaranteed that the high volume air scrubber filtration/suppression system will fail just as a certain wedding party was being seated for dinner tonight?" She took an elastic holder off of her wrist, and showed me a single glittering key. "What if I also just happened to have personally cut a key that would unlock the emergency exit right across the hall from the ladies room? What if I had already planted certain needed accessories earlier today while posing as a city health inspector?"
I must have looked as confused as I really was. Lisa's eyes sparkled as she lowered her bottle. "Come on Patty, get with it! Small rooms like the ladies lounge in a restaurant, with no active air filtration system running, could get quite stuffy! What if a horny futanari was hiding out in such a place, positively reeking of pheromones? Said futanari would be able to bang any mono-sex that walks through the door! If that mono-sex is a virgin, you might not be able to beat her off with a stick!"
"That would be rape." I gasped.
Pan smiled. "I read up on all the altered laws. Said futanari would be blameless if a public building's pheromone suppression system failed, and unaware of that fact, mono-sex women were walking around without their personal respirators on. Liability would lie solely with the restaurant. You would have no cause for legal worries. The restaurant could face civil suit though, but that's why public facilities always carry insurance for child support cases now."
I sat for a minute, ignoring the renewed tension in my pants. "It's a certainty that Hester wouldn't permit any futanari on the guest list. I, um, that hypothetical futanari would be totally unexpected! Nobody would be wearing her mask!" I felt my face growing warm and smiled weakly. "Pan, Lisa, thank you for the best birthday present anyone ever gave me! Can you guys stay and mind Michelle for me?"
Lisa punched the air, and jumped up to run into the kitchen. "Yes, I love baby sitting! I'm checking out what's in the fridge!"
That's how quite a few hours later; I had my feet on a toilet seat, and was squatting down low so nobody would notice someone was in the stall labeled "Out Of Order". To save time, I was totally naked, with my clothes and shoes stuffed in my bag. I was sure glad I always kept myself in good shape before my change, and the adaptability and rejuvenating ability of my restructured body prevented me from suffering too much discomfort while I settled in for a long wait.
I had arrived early enough to slip in unnoticed before the shock troops arrived. Mrs. Arlington's security people were ever on the lookout for futanari. Hester refused to permit any of my kind within the same building with her, if at all possible. Three times I heard one of the male guards enter the ladies room, and three times I thought the beating of my heart would give me away.
It was downright scary how far Pandora had planned this before putting her foot down and refusing to let Lisa benefit from her wicked scheme. As I squatted on the pot, I was also completely camouflaged. I had found the large poster size photographic print and roll of duct tape left by the emergency exit. Having taped it edgewise to the side walls, I hardly had room to move. As Pandora instructed, I had it right up against the toilet. I couched behind completely undetectable. It's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic!