This story was inspired by a song by Montgomery Gentry.
My name is Jerry Spencer. I met my wife, Shay, two years after I had gone through a bitter divorce. We met after I finished a four year hitch in the marine corps. My ex had a a way about her that could melt butter and grey eyes that penetrated the core of my being. I'm still trying to forgive myself for trusting and loving the manipulative selfish bitch. When I returned from Afghanistan, my heart was broken when I found out that she had been entertaining several lovers and had been spending my money partying buying sluttish clothes and supporting her worthless fuck buddies.
That experience changed me, for better or worse. Better in the sense that I was no longer naive and an easy target. Worse in the sense that the wound had healed, but it left an ugly scar on my soul. It turned me into a paranoid son of a bitch. Even though I loved my current wife, I was never able to completely trust her. I wanted to but, I noticed that she tended to tell little lies when the absolute truth was inconvenient. Both of us had been married before and I hoped we would grow old together. I had been stupid and trusting before and it damn near killed me. I hoped that one day, I would be able to sleep with both eyes closed.
The more I loved Shay, the more paranoid I became. I knew that the greater the love, the more painful the hurt. She was putting me under pressure to start a family. I kept thinking that if the relationship went to hell, I'd be facing at least eighteen years of child support. Nevertheless, I was just about ready to start a family and bury my past. It bothered me that the ghosts of yesterday had such negative impact on our marriage. It was time that I let it go and get on with my life. I wanted to believe that Shay deserved my trust. She didn't know that I had noticed that she was a little flirtatious. She never did anything outrageous however, it didn't sit well with me. I decided to wait and see how things developed.
I tried hard not to let her see my insecurities and showered her with as much attention and affection as I could. My military experiences had hardened me. I loved her enough to never expose her to the ruthless aspect of my personality. I showered her with affection and took her to plays, movies, dancing and was always happy to make slow passionate love to her and fuck her hard if I felt she wanted it that way. However, I started a secret investment account in the Cayman islands from the beginning of our four year marriage. Every time I received a bonus, I had my boss pay them to me through one of our foreign subsidiaries directly in the Cayman account. The money never entered the US and didn't exist as far the tax dept. was concerned. I was very good at my job and the account steadily grew. I hoped for the best and prepared for the worse.
If things turned out well for us, we could use the funds for a summer home and maybe a cruise around the world. If not, she couldn't steal what she couldn't see and I'd have enough funds to restart my life without the financial suffering I had once experienced. I don't think that Shay ever realized how emotionally damaged I really was. Early in the relationship we had a conversation that went like this;
"Shay, I've had a very hard day." I said flopping into my favorite chair.
"What happened sweetheart?"
"I had a depressing conversation with a friend of mine today at lunch." I stopped talking and starred out the window.
"Well, don't leave me hanging. What was it about?"
"He just found out that his wife was cheating on him and he was asking me what would I do if I was in that situation. Part of him wants to forgive her and reconcile. Part of him wants an immediate divorce.
"What did you tell him?"
"I said that far as I was concerned, once she had intimate contact with another man their marriage was over. She broke the contract and destroyed the trust and respect between them. Some men could stay with her. I could not..." I looked into her eyes as I spoke. I wanted her to know exactly how I felt about betrayal.
"Why did she do it? Maybe, there's still hope for them. Does she love him? Does he love her?" She said as her eyes narrowed while something changed in her expression that disturbed my subconscious mind. "Maybe, she had a good reason. Everyone makes mistakes. If he loves her enough, he could forgive her."
"Who cares why she did it? I'm sure he loves her. That's why he's in so much pain. She says she loves him, but her actions don't look like it. The man is destroyed. You should've seen him. He's a wreck. I couldn't help feeling anger at his wife and sympathy for him. I've been where he is. His life has been forever changed. Even if he could forgive, he'd never forget. I advised him to make an immediate exit strategy. In the military, it's called a strategic withdrawal. Loyalty is very important to me." I forced myself to stop there. I didn't want to warn her of the retribution I was capable of.
"Wow, you don't have to remind me to never cheat on you. I can see that the subject really upsets you. I'm glad you shared that with me. Never forget that my heart belongs to you alone, Jerry. There could never be another man for me. I love you handsome man." She said sitting on my lap giving me a sexy smile and a kiss. We had that talk four years ago.
I wish I could say that I was completely satisfied with her response. I was glad that I had the chance to tell her how I felt about cheating sluts. My first wife's betrayal had caught me completely by surprise. One day, I was "happily" married and the next, my bank accounts were cleaned out, I was barred from entering my own house and I was sitting in a bar trying to figure out what the hell happened. After that experience, I lived by the code of trust but verify.
My wife and I were at a neighbor's birthday party last weekend when I saw my wife sending long loving looks into the eyes of a man across the room. I guessed his age to be about twenty five. I'm thirty one and Shay is twenty eight ... I knew that look, as I had seen that look in her eyes many times. It occurred to me that I had not seen her look at me like that for some time. It's amazing how much information can be gleaned from a casual observation. My heart sank as I realized that they had been or were currently lovers. My friends and family also had noted how much attention she had been paying to this stranger. I was both angry and humiliated by the experience. There was no doubt in my mind that my "happy marriage" was in trouble. My world collapsed. The love that I thought was exclusively mine apparently wasn't.
When we returned home, I was unusually quiet. I was dreading the conversation we were about to have. If she was having an affair the marriage was over. Even if she wasn't, I wasn't sure if I could live with a woman who was carrying passionate feelings toward another man even if she did love me.
"Honey, what's on your mind? You didn't speak to me at all since we left the party. Did I do something to offend or hurt you? Come on Jerry, I know you. I don't think I've ever seen you this upset."
"Who was the guy that you spent a half the night taking to?" Her body tensed for a moment.
"Is that what's bothering you? He's just a guy I used to work with before I met you. We were just catching up. A lot of the discussion was about you and how happy I am to be loved by a man like you. I only have eyes for you, you big jerk. I think he was jealous of you." She looked satisfied with her explanation and expected me to give her a hug and kiss and apologize for my attitude. That didn't happen.
"What? Why did you say that?" she looked worried.
"I've known you a long time. I could see the love shinning in your eyes. It's a look that you can't disguise. You're a good liar, but not that good. It hurt me to see you look at another man like that. I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth before the shit hit's the fan. You've got the floor. She looked defeated. There was no way she could bullshit her way out of the situation.
"Jerry, we used to be lovers a long time ago. He dumped me when he fell in love with a younger woman. I never thought about him again until I saw him tonight. I'm sorry I lied to you. I know how you are. My love for you is stronger than any lingering feelings I may still have for him. You have to believe that, Jerry. You have to..."
"Your love for me may be stronger, but you've loved him a lot longer. I'm not a man who could tolerate sharing his woman physically or emotionally. He looked at you like a lion stalking his prey. He sensed the weakness in you. Your body language told him that there was a chance to make the kill. I love you, Shay. But, I'm not sure this marriage is going to last."
"Please, Jerry ... I haven't done anything wrong. You're my whole world. We're meant to be together. Forget about this evening. I'll never see or speak to him again, I promise. Tears were falling from her eyes. She looked pitiful. I wanted to console her, but my gut instinct wouldn't let me.
"We'll see, Shay. We'll see."
.... There is more of this story ...