My wife had these friends who scheduled girls' weekends when the various sports had their play-offs and stuff. I didn't really follow any of that astroturf stuff, but I always encouraged Anna to go along and blow off some steam. Have some innocent fun. They'd travel to a famous old spa, or the gambling boat.
I didn't mind the odd empty weekend to just kick around the house alone. After all, when Anna returned, it was always with the full understanding that I'd drag her into the bedroom and utterly molest her.
The only thing that changed was that my sister moved back into town. She'd finally gotten sick of Seattle's retarded seasons. It was good to have Jade back around, but it was a little weird how quickly she and Anna bonded into best buds.
I mean, over the years I'd figured out my sister was the kind of girl who liked girls--I didn't care about stuff like that. I certainly didn't worry that my lesbian sister was moving in on my wife--nothing like that. It was just that within weeks, Jade had joined the circle of gals at both the casino and the spa.
Probably I was just a little jealous that after such a long physical distance, I was reacquiring my sister as a friend at a much slower pace.
I was just emerging dressed after a shower, a long shower after an afternoon wasted mowing the motherfucking lawn. I heard voices down the hall from the livingroom. Moth-like, I fluttered towards that light. I heard my sister's voice, though I couldn't make out what she was saying.
My wife answered, "That sounds so lovely and relaxing, but I have so much work to pound out this weekend."
I entered the room and Anna began detailing how Jade had won a long weekend cabin up at Lake Romp in a raffle at work. It was a last-minute prize.
"Maybe you should go?" Anna suggested. "What do you have planned for this weekend?"
"Not mowing the lawn," I shrugged. I knew where she was going. "And probably not ruining my sister's prize by making her bunk with her stupid brother."
Jade spilled a little laugh. "You're not stupid." And then she detailed how it would actually be a lot of fun getting to spend a long weekend reconnecting with her stupid brother.
Anna looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "How can you dare to deny that? You should take your pastels, and make me lots of beautiful snapshots."
Of course I couldn't. Nor did I want to. The idea of lazing around nature and just doing some cool drawings was quite appealing. Anna was eager to help me pack, days in advance, chattering on about how much fun Jade and I would have. She made sure I packed not only my box of chalks, but also different pads of different paper.
It was almost like being set up on a blind date. One in which I was set with the task, like a court artist, of documenting the hours. The honors and the horrors and the hors d'oeurves.
Or rather, it was like being set up, but not on a blind date. It was like my sister Anna was setting me up for a date with her best friend Jade, who I would not deny was quite hot. Which seemed weird on my wife's part, since Jade was just my sister, but I was game for a long weekend spent sleeping in and lazing about, spending my afternoons drawing views of Lake Romp before heading up to the lodge for dinner.
I'd hang out with my sister and pump her for info about how much Anna really spent when the gals went to the casino!
I was imagining an after-lunch departure, but when Friday dawned, Anna let me sleep a few more hours before waking me up with her mouth. She had me up, showered, dressed and fed by ten. And practically sitting out on the stoop waiting for my ride, like a little kid.
There was no waiting. Jade pulled into the drive on the hour, to the motherfucking minute. I carried my stuff out to the car. My sister got out of the car, ignoring me on her way up the walk to my wife. They hugged like the secret sisterhood they'd sort of started developing.
Anna and her gal friends had their nights out, their Girls Weekends. Us husbands and boyfriends were quite gracious about it. They'd go up to the historic spa, or the cheaper and closer gambling boat. Jade had become one of the girls before the last time at each place.
Us guys were supposed to like go out among the trees and grasses and marshes, and shoot ducks as a clan, or sit around in our caves watching football. Sure, you could just go out and chase some fresh loincloth, but that always proved such a bother.
I prided myself on my patheticness. When my Anna was away, I'd get an extra six-pack, and live off a delivered pizza. I'd have my fun. But mostly by myself. Maybe I'd go have a few with the usual loser crew at the tavern around the corner. Pretend to look at the ladies, but mostly wind up staring at the stupid sports on the stupid tube. Because, as I may have noted, I prided myself on my pathetic ways.
Which I wound up talking about on the long drive. The subject came up out of nowhere, considering how I'd obviously been thinking about it. I didn't want to talk about it, but I had to keep the banter going. That was Jade's instruction. The player in her car was broken, and where we were driving, the radio thinned out to a bunch of broken hillbillies whimpering about Jesus.
"Brother-sister confidence invoked, how many times have you cheated on Anna?" Something else come up out of nowhere.
My sister was staring at me, when her eyes should've been on the road.
"Not once," I said softly, "not even close."
"Really. I'm not that kind of guy."
We finally managed the conversation over to the crap of current events. Just as things were lulling, we hit a station that was playing this scratchy old raw righteous shit. They sang about Jesus, but it was about going downtown with Jesus and getting in a knife fight with this Judas dude over some whore named Mary. Recorded in Nowheresville in like 1934 by some forgotten black dude named like John Romp. It was an awesome way to spend the hour until we arrived at Lake Romp (no relation).
Jade parked us in the no-parking loop in front of the lodge. We went in and registered for our cabin, my sister obnoxiously flapping her paperwork for the free stay.
I strolled away, inspecting the stately building. There were big fucking log beams everywhere. Stripped of bark and holding up the distant roof. I found the way to the diningroom. The state parks were notorious for hiring culinary school graduates. Even the goddamn steam table buffets were appetizing.
But we'd arrived between meals and I was just looking around anyway. Jade found me and we got back in the car for the short drive to our cabin.
I did the lion's share of carrying our bags from the car to the cabin, even though my own stuff took just the one trip. But I didn't have any bags from the grocery, so of course I was happy to be the pack mule from the car. When I finished, Jade was putting things away in the kitchen, so I took a quick tour of the rooms myself.
Jade kept darting her eyes at me, attempting to engage me in conversation. She'd done some real estate in her time, and it was like she was anxious to be the one to show me around.
Too bad. I found the bathroom--it was decent. There was a large back porch, roofed and screened, with a fantastic view of the lake. The livingroom had a working fireplace. The cabin was worn, well-worn, lovingly worn by the years. It was, in short, quite nice.
But I still had to come into the kitchen with my complaint. "There's only one bedroom. There's only the one bed."
"But it's a queen," she answered quickly, expecting my observation. "There's plenty of room."
"I can always take the couch. It won't be the first couch I've slept on."
"Or we could take the cushions off the couch and use them as barriers down the middle of the bed. It all depends on how retarded you want to be," she quipped. "Sorry I won such a cheap second-rate prize."
I dropped it, because I didn't want to get into how retarded I could be. But then I slapped my own face and laughed. "Yea, I should probably go up to the gift shop and buy myself like a t-shirt or coffee mug that says World's Biggest Ingrate."
I put my bags in the bedroom, and then we went on a little nature walk, a pleasant hour on a path going up and down the rises emptying into the lake. We chatted a little, remarking on the pretty nature we passed through.
Jade stayed always slightly ahead of me. I was fine with letting her lead. The one thing I hadn't anticipated was how stirred I'd be by the sight of my sister's swaying ass.
Of course, I'd always known that I had a really cute sister. Even back when she was just a girl. And then she got all her splendid curves. I was always in objective agreement, as her big brother, that my little sister was way hot. So watch what you say, or I'll punch you in the mouth!
But I'd never tailed my sister's tail on a mile loop, while she was looking way cute in a short pair of khaki shorts with all those extra pockets. The fabric stretched across her fanny.
I ... I was just trying to take this lovely nature walk, but instead I turned into a pervert. I was so glad when we were back inside the cabin, brewing a pot of late afternoon coffee. We wound up with our mugs on the front porch, and I actually started working on a little drawing of the view before me, between sips.
Jade refilled our mugs and then sat back down beside me. Mostly she gazed out at our view, though sometimes she glanced down at how my fingers were recording what she saw.
.... There is more of this story ...