Chuck put his clubs in the back of my pickup and then said, "Oops, I forgot my wallet" and he hurried back into the house. That gave me my chance. I opened the bag cover, pulled out his putter, closed the bag back up and put the putter behind the seat. He came out f the house with his wallet in his hand and said:
"I probably won't need this since I expect to beat you turkeys and you will have to buy the beer."
"In your dreams" I said as I pulled out and headed for the Singing Hills golf course.
I smiled inwardly as I anticipated the look on his face when he discovered that his favorite putter was missing. He considered that putter his 'lucky club' since he had beaten Sam, Phil and me three out of every five times we had played since he bought it. Taking his putter wasn't about keeping him from beating us; it was all about fucking with his head. I'd been doing a lot of that lately and as I drove toward the golf course I thought back on what I'd done to him over the last several months.
One night I snuck over to his house after dark and loosened the lug nuts on all four wheels of his car. He couldn't figure out why his steering wheel was vibrating until the right front wheel broke the wheel studs and fell off. All four wheel hubs were ruined and had to be replaced at $119.86 per wheel. Also three of his tires had abnormal wear on them and had to be replaced at another $102.67 per tire.
Two weeks later I found a jagged piece of metal on a job site and I again paid him a visit after dark and put the piece under his left rear tire. It tore up the tire bad enough that it couldn't be repaired and he had to buy another one.
Then there was the night we met at the Landing Strip for drinks. I had my usual two beers and was ready to leave, but he wanted to stay a while longer so I left him there and headed for my truck. As I went by his car I took out my keys and gouged his paint from front to rear. I don't know how much the body shop charged him, but he was without his car for three days.
When we got to the course Sam and Phil were already there and were practicing on the putting green and we had about ten minutes till our tee time so Chuck and I joined them.
"What the fuck?" was heard from Chuck when he went into his bag to get his putter.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"My putter isn't here."
"Good" Phil said, "Maybe all your luck is gone too and we can wax your ass today."
There was some more talk about where did you see it last and did you take it out to polish it and leave it in the garage. Sam hit closer to home than he knew when he said:
"Maybe Rob paid someone to sneak into your garage and steal it."
As our tee time approached Chuck hurried into the pro shop and bought another putter. The one he bought definitely wasn't lucky for him. He three putted the first hole and four putted the next two. The day gave me one more chance to fuck with him. On the sixteenth hole he sliced his drive into the trees on the side of the fairway. We went looking for it and I found it. I looked around and no one was looking my way so I stepped on the ball and drove it down into the soft soil and kicked a few leaves over it. After a few minutes Chuck had to take the drop and the penalty so we wouldn't hold up the foursome behind us.
Sam, Phil and I beat Chuck badly that day and he had to buy the beer. I'm normally only a two beer guy, but that day I had five because it made Chuck have to dig into his wallet. As I drank the beer that Chuck was paying for I thought about another shot I'd taken at him. I belonged to the Eagle Rest Country Club and Chuck wanted to join. I made a big thing out of putting him up for membership. Voting was done by secret ballot and the vote had to be unanimous. When his application was voted on there was one "no" vote cast and yes I was the one who cast it.
As I drove him home I thought about the best thing that I had done to fuck with him. It was at a barbecue at his house about two months ago. I'd been there about an hour nursing my first beer when his wife Francine came up to me. I'd known Franny for as long as I had known Chuck. When she was thirteen she was a gawky, gangly plain looking girl. Her dad got a promotion and they moved out of town. They came back five years later and the ugly duckling had turned into one hell of a sexy looking swan. I dated her a couple of times and tried to get into her pants, but never made it. There wasn't any spark between us so all we were was friends.
Franny was one of those sexy looking girls that guys looked at and wanted to fuck at least once just to see if she was as hot as she looked. Anyway, I'd always wanted to fuck her at least once and she knew it. I flirted with her even after she married Chuck knowing that it wouldn't go any where, but what the hell, miracles did happen occasionally. I wasn't thinking affair; just one time to see if she was a hot as she looked.
But back to the barbecue.
Franny came up to me and asked me how I was doing.
"How is the love life going?"
"Haven't got one."
"Oh come on Rob; a hot looking guy like you just has to be fighting the girls off."
"I'm saving myself for you Franny. I just know in my bones you will come to realize that you don't want Chuck and that you want me."
"You are so full of bull hockey. All you want to do is get in my pants and do what I wouldn't let you do when we dated."
"And that makes me all bad?"
"At least you're honest and that's more than I can say about some."
As she said that she was looking over at Chuck who was talking to Sylvia Martin while trying to see down inside her cleavage and to her belly button. The look that came over Franny's face told me that not all was well in the Maxwell household.
"Look at that cow" she said, "If she didn't have those 40DDs no guy would even give her a second look."
She turned to me and said, "You know don't you."
"That the asshole is cheating on me."
I didn't answer, but the look on my face told her that I was indeed aware of it."
"I thought you were my friend Rob. Why didn't you tell me?"
"And cause you to go through the same pain I went through when I found out about Shelly? No way Franny. I wouldn't do that to some one I didn't like let alone to some one I do."
"I forgot about Shelly. You were a bear to be around for quite a while after she was gone."
She looked at me for several seconds and then said, "You have always wanted to fuck me haven't you."
I was stunned at what she said. I'd never heard Franny use a curse word in all the time I'd known her so the "fuck" was a huge surprise. And then there is what she'd said. It wasn't put to me as a question, but as a statement. I recovered quickly and said:
"You know I have Franny."
"Would you? Even though Chuck is your friend?"
"Stupid question Franny. I'd do you right here and now in front of God, all your guests and your husband."
"I don't think I could do that, but I would love to see Chuck's face if you did. Would you do me even knowing it was only me getting some revenge and not because I found you sexually fascinating?"
"Franny I can honestly say I'd do you even if I knew you were only going to lay there, chew gum and stare out the window while waiting for me to finish."
"Wow Rob; I didn't know that you were such a romantic."
She looked over at Chuck and he still had his eyes buried in Sylvia's cleavage. I couldn't say that I blamed him. I'd seen those babies close up and personal and Franny was dead wrong about no guy paying attention to Sylvia if it wasn't for her huge tits. Sylvia was one hell of a hot fuck or at least she had been before she married Max. I hadn't heard that she played around on him so Chuck was probably just engaging in some wishful thinking.
I felt a punch on my arm and turned to see Franny staring at me. "You too? You're like Chuck and like to stare at huge tits?"
Thinking fast I said, "No. I was just trying to figure out what he is seeing in her. She hasn't anything going for her except those huge udders. I'll bet that when she takes her bra off those things hang down to her knees."
Maybe they would in years, but the last time I saw them uncovered they stood out straight and proud.
"Go circulate" Franny said, "and meet me at the downstairs bathroom in ten minutes. If the door is locked knock three times quickly" and then she walked away.
I decided to be mean and I walked over to Chuck and Sylvia. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek and said:
"How you doing sweetie? Ready to leave Max for me?"
She smiled at me and said, "Not just yet honey. Give me just a little more time."
"I'll give you all the time you need as long as you promise me that my name will be at the top of the list when you get ready to bail."
"I promise honey."
"Hey! What about me" Chuck asked.
"Sorry Charlie, but Franny would cut my tits off if I had anything at all to do with you."
She said it in such a manner and tone that Chuck knew right away he was never going to get anywhere with her and he turned and walked away.
"He's such an asshole" Sylvia said, "Always trying to look down my cleavage. Like I would ever have anything to do with him."
"Give him a break sweetie. He's a male and you know damned well that every man who sees you wants you."
"Still, it's his house and his wife is here. He's got to be an asshole to behave like that in front of her."
"I don't know about that. I seem to remember casting lustful glances at you when you were at parties at my house and Shelly was there."
.... There is more of this story ...