Hi.I'm Margaret.Or that's my former name when I was a girl before the SURGERY.Now my name is Kevin.
I remember lying in that hospital bed right after the operation, looking up at the ceiling and just thinking. Feeling as though a crocodile had just gone down on me, I was too nervous even to shift my position for fear of intense agony. Dr. Max had been in only once since I had woken up, to explain a few things to me with the help of his beautiful Thai assistant. I might have been shaken, scared, lost in pain, perhaps regret ... but I wasn't. I was at peace, triumphant, having overcome the final obstacle.
The next few months were difficult. Everything was still very tender and getting the stitches out was NOT a very pleasant experience. I still felt like I ought to have hired a monsters hunter to find and hunt down whatever fellatio-crazed, many-toothed monster was visiting me nightly- but this was all to be expected. I took the pain killers, I dilated myself, I kept everything clean, I didn't smoke, I went by the book. This was the new me, who I had been all along inside, and I wanted it to be done right. I was proud.
Time passed and I became more and more comfortable with my new "hardware". My correct hardware, rather. I had nothing more than a birth defect that had to be corrected by some hormone therapy and surgery. Birth defects were corrected all the time, how was I any different? I began to explore a bit more, touching, feeling, experimenting. I was still pretty numb for several months. I would have brief periods of panic where I thought I might not ever get full feeling down there, but as I explored more, continued to touch, to test, feeling came back gradually. I became addicted to trying to nurse more sensation back into my body, frequently touching myself whenever I had a moment or so alone, just to test the feeling.
I remember the first time it happened ... I was on a bus ride from New York City down to Washington, D.C. to visit my old home. Too long, too boring. The damned old bus vibrated something horrible on the highway and my Game Boy and few books had failed me for entertainment so far. I sat with my head resting on the window, bumping against it occasionally as we roared on down I-95. The vibration of my seat had been annoying earlier as I tried to concentrate, but now, with my mind wandering, it became a different kind of distraction.
I found it feeling kind of good, actually. A pleasant humming underneath my seat. I tilted my hips back, spread my legs a little and felt the thrumming against my ass. I almost giggled at myself for being so silly, and straightened back up ... but my brain was already working at a more carnal level. I rolled my hips forward a little, the point of my crotch connecting with the vibrating seat came closer to my balls, and so the vibrations became stronger. Mmmmnn ... that felt good. I casually knocked my book to the floor and bent doubled over down to reach for it, rolling my hips even more. The seat thrummed underneath me, I could feel the pulses of each tiny bump, coursing up through my body like so many ripples on a pond. Leaning back and closing my eyes, I began to fantasize ... my long hard cock pressing against a girl's opening, demanding entrance.
My legs spread subconsciously out over the seat as I did, freeing my cock from the resistance of my thighs closed around it. Blood rushed rapidly between my legs as the vibrations now pulsed through me freely, uninhibited. I let out a tiny little gasp, and feigned sleep as my neighbor turned to see what the noise was. In my mind I was on top, fucking my unseen lover. I felt the head of my cock sliding through her outer lips, pushing through them, glistening with her moisture. The vibrations continued, pulsing. Thrumming. I felt it now pressing against me again ... slipping forward, making me harder. The tip of it popped inside and with a groan of pure lust she pushed back against my delicious, throbbing cock. I myself was throbbing, aching to touch myself, loving the pure sensation coursing through me as the vibrating seat did its work. I couldn't take it anymore.
I "sleepily" grabbed for the cheap blankets they give you on long bus rides, and covered myself up. The second my crotch was out of sight I made quite a fuss of "getting comfortable" wherein I managed to hike my skirt up, raise my hips in the air slightly, and tug my boxers down just enough. I sat back down, the fuzzy fabric of the seat now against my bare ass. I know I couldn't have been able to restrain a grin as I moved my hand closer to my pulsing balls and hungry hard cock. I knew what it was going to feel like, knew what was coming as my hand inched closer- but I just turned my head against the window and smiled, loving the anticipation. I could hear the sound of my cock sinking in my fantasy-lover's cunt, spearing through her creamy hole in slow motion. My fingertips grazed ever so softly against my balls and my hips jumped slightly, but I faked a cough and continued. I could feel her puffy lips, swollen with arousal, soft and wet, rolling underneath my fingertips as my fingers pushed their way through them, running up and down her slit. I began thrusting up my lover's pussy, finding a rhythm ... my fingers teasing, dipping into her hole just a little, then pulling back out. I wanted to feel a cunt around my cock, to feel its heat, the combination of wetness and soft skin contracting around my prick. My head drooped to the side as I begining to feel a powerful tension build up deep within my cock, tingles were shooting through my body and my hips undulated against my probing fingers on their own accord.
I hazarded a quick glance around the bus, most of the passengers were sleeping, and my neighbor was deeply engrossed in a book. I ached to see my fingers moving around my cock, but couldn't risk it. My mind was running wildly as I heard the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, the deep guttural grunts and moans of me and my phantom lover as I pounded into her. A little moan came out of my open mouth, I felt a surge building up- something I had not felt since before the operation. It was different this time, I felt as though every muscle in my abdomen was tightening up for my imminent release.
My hand jacked off my cock rapidly, I could hear the sound of them squishing around my prick, my heart beating fast. My neighbor glanced over at me, curious, and this time my eyes met hers. I stared at her, mouth slightly agape as orgasm washed over me. It felt like a massive wave of pleasure crashing over my whole body and I shuddered, never breaking eye contact with this stranger, ragged breaths escaping my lips. She watched me with a slightly incredulous look, watched climax take me. I watched her, helpless, as wave after crashing wave pulsed through my body, felt my cock erupting my hot semen under my fingers. When finally my orgasm subsided, I looked away sheepishly, murmuring a very quiet "Sorry..." and went back to looking out of the window. The woman didn't say a thing, just went back to her book.
Back in my home town, a few weeks later, I was going to be facing some old friends for the first time since the operation. I was excited, but a little nervous too. Most people reacted predictably- they tried to appear supportive and open-minded, but I could always sense a little awkwardness. One of the most relieving parts of my return was when I met my friend Savannah. Savannah and I had been friends since I was 11 and she was 9. We had played together, weekends of Nintendo and Commadore 64 games. As time went on it became larger social gatherings at times, with beer and pot, but we still had our time together, with video games and sodas, weekends spent just hanging out and having fun. We'd share nearly everything. I remember when I told her about losing my virginity ... my "other" virginity. It was with a guy she introduced me to, and she gleefully chided me about every detail of it. I remember laughing uncontrollably when over AIM she told me a guy had "sucked her twat" and my watching Chinese friend asked "What's she mean by 'twat'?" And finally, hearing about her first time with a boyfriend named Karl. We were the kind of friends who could pick up right where we left of, no matter how much time had passed in between.
We arranged for me to stay at her place for 5 days while her room mate was out of town vacationing with family. I showed up much the same as I had done in the past. I had my laptop, a few changes of clothes- skirts and tank tops this time, instead of the jeans and T-shirts of before. When the door opened, she greeted me with a nonchalant smile and brief hug- still a 'woman hug and kiss' as we would call them. She didn't react negatively to me at all.
"Crotch is bigger now ... guess you got everything sorted out down below?" she said casually.
"Yep. All up and running, I suppose. So ... Smash Brothers?" I asked, unable to restrain a broad smile as I mentioned our favorite game. It was like old times, we easily got into our old patterns, ordered a pizza, playfully expressed our deepest loathing of one another whenever we lost a game. Only the occasional "It's funny hearing your voice higher than mine" or "Don't make me punch you in the crotch" worked its way in, but it was all in good fun. She was cool, casual. She was Savannah, the same friend I had always known, and I was still the same friend she had always known, just in a different body. The right body. Two empty pizza boxes, several cokes, and a joint for her and cigarette for me later, we were vegging out on the couch, all Nintendo'd out.
"So whats it, uh ... how did things turn out down there?" she asked, a little awkwardness there but mostly just friendly curiosity.
"Well, I've pretty much healed up by now and it's all working just fine." I answered, unsure of how far to go with details.
"So have you ... you know, done it yet?" She asked, grinning stupidly at me. I threw a pillow at her.
"Nooooo, not yet. It's not like I just would run off and jump in the sack with the first person I met to give it a test-drive or anything." I said, smartly ducking the retaliatory pillow-throw.
"Alright so, but like- you weren't lesbian before, right? I mean, you never wanted to have sex with a girl as a guy, or at least that's what you told me." She said, obviously struggling a little to wrap her brain around the concept.
"Well, right ... I dunno, it's weird. I guess I sorta knew when a girl was hot, and sometimes I thought about girls- but with me being a guy ... but I didn't want to have sex, no. Now, though, it's like ... I can be me, and I still like guys a lot," (smacked her solidly in the face with the pillow as she raised her eyebrows twice with a "hubba hubba, gays!") " ... buuuut I think I'd like to at least try it with a girl, you know ... I kinda like them more now. Besides, how many people can say they've had sex from both sides?"
"Showoff..." she said, smirking. "So like ... how does, er ... what does it ... does it look normal? Like any regular guy's?" She asked very awkwardly, scratching behind her ear and turning her head to the side.
"Well ... from looking at the outside not even a gynecologist could tell the difference." I said truthfully, focusing a bit more on her at this point, watching her body language and reactions. "Do ... uh ... I mean, I could show you ... if you wanted. You know, purely for scientific reasons." I offered. I had no second agenda, I was being honest, I simply guessed she was very curious. I guessed right.
"Er, okay then. I mean I wasn't gonna ask, but I am pretty curious." She said, sitting up now and crossing the room to sit on the couch with me. We were very quiet and avoided eye contact as I pulled my pants down to my ankles.
"No spazzing out or anything, okay?" I demanded. After getting her "okay" I planted my feet on the floor and lifted my hips, sliding my boxers down slowly, nervously half-covering myself at first. I settled back down, and pulled them to my knees. I nervously glanced up at Savannah, biting my lip with a slightly worried expression. She was looking down with a kind of slight frown.
"Well ... from this angle..." she trailed off, and I followed her eyes. You really couldn't see much, with my legs held together at the knees by my boxers and the shadow cast by my thighs.
"Oh, right..." I said, and kicked my shoes off, then slid my boxers and pants down over one foot so my legs were now free. I lifted them back onto the couch and turned to face Savannah, drawing my feet in close and letting my knees sink down out on either side, spreading my thighs wide open and exposing myself, getting a good angle with the light.
"Ahhh..." she said, leaning in and inspecting me, still maintaining a very casual attitude and relaxed body language. She was determined not to make me uncomfortable, a noble act considering I was sitting here with my legs spread wide showing off my cock rather bluntly. "Not bad ... seriously though, that's a good job. It really does look completely normal."
I felt warm and happy, glad she was so accepting, and casually curious. As she studied me a little closer, I felt a slight tingle running through my body, converging between my legs. It was a rather sexual position to be in, and her face was close. My breathing was a little shallow, and I shifted again, lifting a leg up to rest on the back of the couch, and I slowly reached down and lift my prick, exposing my balls.
"And that there is the um, crowning achievement." I announced, smiling sheepishly.
"Nice, nice." She said, looking at me in my ridiculous pose, but determinedly keeping a straight face and looking closely to study every detail. She finally took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch. "So like, it all works really good then? I mean ... have you cum yet?"
"Yeah ... actually, only for the first time a few days ago, coming down here to visit you girls." I said, thinking briefly back to my experience on the bus. I lowered my leg from the back of the couch and rested it out in front of me, my thighs drawing together again, but my bare legs still exposed. I was too lazy to put everything back on, and Savannah and I were just so ... comfortable with one another it didn't seem to matter.
"Ah, sweet. So was it good?" She was still so cool and casual, just being the same Savannah I knew so well.
"Well duh, it's not like it's gonna feel bad." I responded, chuckling a little.
"Heh, right. So it's working out for you then, cool. Pecs and abs are looking a lot masculine now, I like 'em." she said, her eyes traveling over my body in a very passive, friendly way. "So when do you think you'll finally have sex? You know, with a girl?"
"Well ... I suppose whenever I stop being too chicken to date one. You know how it is, like ... I'm still used to men, and I guess I'm a little afraid a girl will find out and freak out on me." I said, trying to think what on earth it would be like to get intimate with a woman in actuality, not just in my fantasy world.
"Yeah that would totally suck. You should probably wait then, till you're sure you're with a girl who'll understand or be cool about it." She was so earnest, for all her goofy joking around and crude remarks, when it came down to the wire she was an awesome girl.
"But I mean, it sucks you know ... trying to find someone like that. I've only had like... 2 little romantic flings with guys since I had my operation, and they didn't last or get too far. I just haven't worked out how to like, date a girl. I could only imagine dating someone like, exactly like me, so that I'd know how to make it not awkward. Someone who could joke about it, you know?" I kicked my boxers dangling from my foot off to the side and shifted my weight again so my ass wouldn't go numb, inadvertently exposing a little more of my bared prick, but only a little.
"Yeah ... kinda like us. It's almost creepy how alike we are, even now one of us is a guy!" she laughed at her own joke, turning sideways on the couch so that we were now facing each other.
There was a bit of a pause, and really without thinking about it much before I said it, I kind of blurted out an idea right as it popped into my head.
"Well I mean ... we ARE alike ... I don't want to creep you out or anything, but if I was going to have sex with a girl for the first time, I'd totally it rather be with you than some random girl I wasn't sure about." I didn't really think of all the implications of what I was saying, it just came out. Savannah studied me a bit, a thoughtful expression on her face.
"Well, like ... I mean, if you really had a strong need to experiment with it ... I wouldn't want you to end up with some jackass who would make you feel like shit. I ... er, well I guess I'm saying if you need to have sex with a girl, but want to do it with someone you trust, I could er..." her voice trailed off again. The moment was terribly awkward.
"Right." I paused, chewing my bottom lip and considering the situation. "Do ... I mean, we could, er ... If it wouldn't make you uncomfortable, and if you want to..." I struggled, feeling very stupid and sure that I was not doing a very good job of asking this, so I just came right out with it. "Do you wanna have sex?"
"Yeah. Yeah, we can do that. As long as it's what you really want, and you're okay with it." she said earnestly, really meaning everything. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it wouldn't be just because YOU want it, like ... well ... I'm a girl, I mean ... I'm not gonna lie and say I don't want to try it with you."
"Okay..." I said very quietly, and looked Savannah in the eyes. She met my gaze, and we just watched each other for a while, two old best friends, one female, one now male - just having consented to sex. As that thought passed through my mind, I felt blood rushing between my legs, little tingles rippled through me and the hairs on my neck prickled slightly. "Let's go to the bed, I suppose."
Savannah followed, and we didn't share any words as we made it to her bedroom. I sat down on the bed, my shirt covering my upper body, but pants and boxers still left behind in the living room. She sat down next to me and stretched out, trying to seem casual but obviously every bit as trepidatious as me.
"How should we start? I'm uh ... well, I dunno." she asked meekly, at a loss for words apparently. I scooted a bit closer to her, and took her hand in mine. Feeling stupid, I lowered it to my crotch and placed it on my cock, giving an encouraging squeeze.
"Well there's always this approach." I offered. I could tell I found a good way to break the ice- she grinned broadly, and lifted her other hand to my cheeks, giving each a gentle squeeze. She started massaging them softly as she spoke.
"You know I kinda wanted to try this. Your cock feel awesome, too. Glad you decided to keep it natural." she said, grinning. It felt really nice, actually. I had always thought guys just let girls play with their pricks because girls love them so much, but I was discovering there was more to it than that. I felt my cock stiffen under her hand.
"Mmmnn, you know, now I get what the big deal with cock is, from both sides. Here, hang on a sec." I said, lifting my arms up over my head. Following my lead, Savannah lifted my shirt up and off my body, tossing it to the side. She looked at me, now only wearing nothing.I became now completely naked.
"Pasty white as ever." She said, grinning. I punched her on the arm.
"Lean back, noob." she said as she peeled off her shirt and fumbled with the clasp on her bra. I complied, propping some pillows up against the headboard of the bed to lean against. She reached behind her back and undid her bra, letting her breasts swing free. They were large ... a nice, solid C cup. She was rather proud of them. Savannah straddled my waist and sat facing me.
"Here, now try." she said, offering both exposed breasts to my hands again, pulling her hair to the side to get it out of the way. My hands slid slowly up her stomach and lightly across the soft skin of her breasts, caressing gently. I was rather good at this, I thought to myself. My fingers slid on either side of her nipples and gently pinched together, rolling them to hardened little nubs. She let out a gentle moan.
"They really are awesome, I love them." I reiterated, absorbed in feeling her up. She took my arms by the wrists and pulled them away gently, leaning forward and arching her back, so that her boobs were now hanging in front of my face. She cupped my hand underneath one and let her nipple drag across my lips. I responded on instinct, my tongue coming out to encircle her nipple and flick over it a few times. My warm lips wrap around as much of her breast as was possible, and then the most exquisite sensation as I sucked her tit into my mouth, letting the nipple lead the way between my gently grazing teeth. The suction felt divine to me and my friend Savannah, and she let out a contented sigh, tilting her head back and pressing her chest forward to seek more of of this pleasurable contact. My free hand came up and began massaging her lonely breast, and after a while I switched, taking care to flick my tongue over the nipples or pinch them softly, the slick surface of my tongue licking at her puffy araeola, tasting her.
I eventually pulled away and looked down at her. Her pink, hard little nipples jutted out and made her boobs pronounced, I liked the way it looked.
"Well you seem to enjoy that enough." she purred, playfully winking at me. I grinned back. "So I hope it had an effect on you?" she added hopefully, reaching down between my legs and running a hand up my thigh. It felt REALLY weird to be touching my best friend and she touching me like this, but our bodies were on fire, they demanded more. My friend Savannah's body demanded what I now felt between my legs - a semi-hard erection.And my body demanded her hot cunt under her skirt.
She was on top of me and I turned her and became on top of her.