I'm lying here in my bed wondering about everything that has happened in my life in the past couple month's or so. I'm thirty seven years old and have been happily married for the past thirteen years. At least I was until Dan, my husband, decided to do something stupid while at an out of town sales convention.
Let me explain how I found out. It was either by accident, or it was planted by a competitor in the same line of sales as Dan. It was on Sunday morning after he'd returned from the convention. I was getting his things ready to drop off at the dry cleaners on my way to work Monday morning. I was going through the pockets of his suit coat when I found the black thong and a picture of Dan and a red head who looked young enough to be his daughter, wearing the black thong and matching Brassiere, lip locked together.
My first thought was, that dirty son of a bitch cheated on me, I'll get right to the bottom of this shit, we've always had a pretty liberal marriage as far as flirting, kidding around and having good times among friends, but we do not have an open marriage, nor have we ever discussed having an open marriage. After seeing the picture and the thong, I guessed Dan had changed the rules without letting me in on it. Well, we would see about getting this straightened out.
After I thought about it for awhile the anger subsided and sadness took it's place. I began to wonder if this was the first and only time, or had it been going on for some time. I wondered if somehow I had been letting him down in bed. I'd been working a lot, but had never refused to have sex with him. I enjoyed having sex every bit as much as Dan, maybe even more so, but I never pressured him for more. I know after traveling he's tired when he gets back home, but now I wondered if the reason he wasn't quite up to par sometimes, was because someone else had taken my place. As these thoughts filled my head tears began to fall.
Dan returned in mid afternoon from his Sunday golf game, jubilant about having won and took me in his arms to kiss me when he saw I'd been crying. "Whats wrong? Whats happened Ava? Did something bad happen?"
I choked back more tears and said. "I'm not sure Dan, I'm going to ask you a question and please don't lie to me."
"I've never lied to you Ava, you know that."
"Dan, have you ever cheated on me?"
"What? Of course not, what the hell ever made you ask a question like that?"
The sadness I felt was quickly replaced by the anger I'd first felt. "Are you sure Dan, think real hard, maybe you're forgetting something, because if you're lying to me, I want you to move out of the house until you decide to tell me the truth"
"What the hell are you talking about Ava, I haven't done a damn thing, and I'm not moving anywhere."
"Well Dan, then I'll leave until you decide to tell me the truth. If you decide not to tell me within thirty days, I'll file for a divorce. Which will it be Dan?"
"Ava, my god, I swear I've never cheated on you. I have no idea where you got this idea. If this is something you've heard it's a damn lie. All I know is I'm telling you the truth."
"Dan, if you come clean right now, I'll do my best to get by this, but if you wait and let me stew about it, I may not be able to forgive you."
"I'm not telling you anything, because I've not done anything."
He left the kitchen going towards the living room. "Then I'll get what things I need and leave, that way you'll have plenty of time to think about it."
"Ava don't do this to us, I mean it, don't move out on me."
I'll get a room until you decide what you want to do. If you haven't decided in thirty days, I'll be moving out for good. I left him sitting in the living room and went to our bedroom, gathered up the things I would need and left. I found a room in a motel, that had weekly rates and moved in that evening. Dan tried calling several times, leaving messages for me to come home.
The next day he called me repeatedly at work, but I told my secretary to tell him I wasn't in, or she was to hold all of my calls. It was four days later on Thursday that I finally took his call, He started by telling me to stop this stupidity and come back home.
I countered by asking if he was ready to tell me what happened. Once again he insisted he'd never done anything wrong. I countered with. "I'll give you a hint at what I'm talking about, it happened at the convention you just returned from, does that ring a bell?"
I heard what sounded like a choke or a gasp. Then Dan said, "can you come home and we talk about it? I promise I'll tell you everything I know."
"Okay Dan, I'll come home Saturday morning, I've paid for my room for a week so might as well use it, that will give you plenty of time to remember everything that happened in Chicago.
He mumbled goodbye and hung up, leaving me to think about what I was going to do. I knew what I would do if he lied to me, but I hadn't really given much thought to what I would do if he told me everything. Now I had to consider what and how I would handle hearing my husband of thirteen years, admit he'd been with another woman. I felt I could forgive him If it was only the one time, but if it's been an ongoing thing, there's know way I could get by, having been deceived many times.
Friday after work I stopped with some of the girls from the office, had a couple of drinks danced a few times and went to my room, not wanting to be hung over when I went to talk with Dan. The next morning I called Dan and told him I would be there as soon as I'd had breakfast. I arrived about two hours later. Dan seemed nervous as he hugged me and said he was glad to see me. I sat down at the kitchen table as he brought us both a cup of coffee. As soon as he was seated I said, "you can start anytime Dan, but please do not try to lie to me, I know more than you think and if you do, I'll walk out and file for divorce."
I'll tell you what I can remember Ava. It was the night the convention ended. We were all at the convention room where they put on the party. The people most interested in what I was selling, introduced me to this woman, saying she was a member of the finance board and had a say in what was purchased and from whom, I decided she was someone I should get to know.
We were introduced and were soon having a nice time, a few drinks and then dancing, which soon became very close dancing. We began kissing, I knew it was wrong, but thought as long as nobody knew about it, what harm would there be. But I guess I was wrong someone must have been watching, or she told someone who ultimately told you.
How could you not notice how young she was and wonder how she could hold such an important position in the company? You must have had a lot more to drink than a few, you normally know whats going on even when your pretty well smashed."
I know it sounds like a lie, but I only had a few and don't remember a whole lot, maybe someone slipped something in my drinks while we danced, I'm just not sure.
"Is that all that happened Dan? You danced, held her close and kissed her."
"Yes, that's pretty much it."
"Well Dan, answer me honestly, do you think a man in that shape could have sex and not know it, or even be able to have sex in that condition?"
"Honestly I don't know, probably not."
I dug into my purse and produced the picture of him kissing the woman and laid it on the table in front of him. Looking at it, then smiling he said, this is your proof of me cheating, kissing a woman one time, for gods sake Ava, you threw a fit over seeing this?"
I threw the black lace thong on the table in front of him. "No Dan, this is what I threw the fit over, it was in your suit coat pocket, would you care to explain how you got her thong off and was able to restrain yourself from having sex with her, or were you to drunk to remember? Before you answer Dan, remember what I said about lying to me.
He sat staring at the thong laying on the table, then without looking up at me said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but she was so young and came on to me so strong, I couldn't stop once we started dancing and I'd held her in my arms. It was just so different than holding you all these past years. I let my feelings get out of hand. I didn't think you would ever find out and I want you to know I never meant to hurt you.
I sat looking at him then said. "What are we going to have to do to get by this and try to get back to the way we were, if that's possible. If I was the one who had an affair, what would you suggest we do to try to get by this Dan?"
He finally raised his head to look at me then said." I'm not sure, since I don't feel the pain you're feeling. Maybe you should get a free, one time get even pass, to use anytime you chose."
I sat looking at Dan until he had to look away. "Is that what you're offering me Dan? A free pass to go get laid, if and when I should see someone I'd like to have sex with?"
"I don't want you to Ava, but I guess if it will help you get through this crisis then that"s what I suggest we do.
This offer came as quite a surprise to me, one I hadn't even thought of. I had no intention of having sex with anyone other than my husband, but he didn't have to know that and since I traveled in my job, he would have this hanging over his head, wondering if this is the trip I would meet someone, have sex and when I got home, tell him we are now even.
.... There is more of this story ...