What Goes On


Tags: Heterosexual, Humor, .

Desc: Humor Story: Husband decides to show his wife how serious he feels her seeming lack of respect really is.

I was just twenty minutes earlier than I usually arrived home from work. Things were slow, it was a Friday, and so I left a little early. When I entered our bedroom, I saw my wife, Julie, in the master bathroom. She had apparently just finished taking a shower. She startled a little when she saw me watching her and quickly wrapped a towel around her torso.

"Jim, you're home early!" observed Julie as she moved to the side of the bed, where I noticed that she had her underwear already laid out. "You do remember that I'm going out with the girls tonight? I'm just getting cleaned up and dressed. I have a stew simmering on the stove for your dinner. I shouldn't be out too awfully late."

"Don't spend a minute worrying about me, Julie," I replied in what I felt was a very calm voice. "I won't be here when you get back anyway."

With that said I turned to the closet and pulled out a large suitcase. I placed it on the bed and began taking clothes from my drawers and placing them in the suitcase.

"Are you going on a trip, Jim?" asked Julie. "You never mentioned anything to me about it. What's going on?"

"What's going on?" I repeated? "You can probably answer that one better than I can. I will, however, tell you that I'm not going on a trip. I'm leaving you, Julie. I've had about enough. My stupid manly pride demands that I get the hell out of here."

"What're you talking about, Jim? You know I go out with the girls now and then. I've never complained about your bowling league, or an occasional poker night. Now you're getting all bent out of shape over me going out once a week with my girlfriends? You need help!"

"I probably do, but that doesn't alter the fact that I'm getting the hell out. There are certain things I expect, no that isn't right. There are certain things that I demand from my wife and you just aren't filling the bill anymore," I responded.

"What're you talking about, Jim?" demanded Julie. "I work, keep a clean house, always make you dinner, and gave you two kids. I'd say I've been a pretty damn good wife and you've got no real complaints coming."

"A few weeks ago I would've agreed with your statement, Julie, but not now. I will not be treated with disrespect, or contempt," I added.

"What in holy hell are you talking about, Jim? I've always shown you respect. I'm not going to kiss your ass or beg to be allowed a night out with my friends if that's where this is leading. I'm an independent woman and have the right to make decisions on my own," she insisted.

"That's exactly right," I quickly retorted. "But so do I. I've decided to get the hell away from here. As I said, I will not be shown such obvious disrespect from my own wife. Have a good time tonight and stay out as late as you like. I no longer give a shit!"

With that, I zipped my case closed, lifted it from the bed and headed back down the stairs.

"You miserable prick!" yelled Julie from the top of the stairs. "You'll be crawling back, begging me to forgive you, but I won't! I don't even know what the hell you're so mad about!"

I drove to a local motel and registered for the weekend. Once I was settled in, I called my cousin Mark.

"Mark, I've moved out on Julie. It was almost exactly like Betty said it would be when I got home. I caught Julie just getting out of the shower. Let's just say that Betty was right."

Wow, Jim. I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping Betty was wrong about it. Is there anything we can do to help?" asked Mark.

"Is Betty going out tonight, Mark?" I asked. "If she is, tell her to not let on that she knows anything about me leaving, and to keep an eye on Julie. I want to know if anything happens, although it probably doesn't make a shitload of difference now."

"Yeah, she's getting ready now. I'll pass this all on to her and tell her to keep an eye open and her mouth shut," promised Mark. "I'm really sorry it worked out this way, but it might not be too late. Julie could still come to her senses."

"Maybe, but this contempt she's shown me lately will be hard to forgive and I'll never forget it. I'm sure of that. I'm going to have a couple beers and go to bed. Ask Betty to call my cell in the morning if she has any information I might find interesting, okay? Thanks for everything, and especially thank Betty for me."

I was having breakfast at an IHOP when my cell rang. I saw from the caller ID that it was Betty, so I took the call.

"Hey, Jim. I'm just checking in. Julie was pretty quiet last night and she left early, and alone. I heard Dottie ask her if something was wrong, but Julie just smiled and said that she had a bad headache. The shithead stayed until quite late. He regaled the group with his amazing adventures and the girls just ate it up. I'm afraid that Julie isn't the only idiot being drawn into his web. He even spent more time than usual working on me. Maybe that's because I'm his greatest challenge. I hardly even listen to his bullshit and it's driving him nuts."

"Thanks for keeping me in the loop, Betty. If it weren't for you, I'd be the typical clueless husband," I lamented. "You've really opened my eyes."

"No offense, Jim, but you still seem pretty damn clueless to me. You've got over twenty years invested in Julie. You love the dumb bitch. You need to fight for her and not just walk away. You know damn well that she'll regret her mistakes soon. You should step to the plate and stop her from making the big one that she can't rectify. That's what I'd expect Mark to do for me," concluded Betty.

"I've given her everything I had for over twenty years. I shouldn't have to fight for her now, or ever, Betty," I insisted. "Either she's my wife and she wants to be my wife, or she doesn't. There's no middle ground on this."

"Well, at least be sure that she understands that much. She may think that she can have a little fling and keep her steady, dependable husband at the same time. You know, the best of both worlds as they say."

"That doesn't sound very good for me. Some other guy gets the heat and passion while I'm dependable and clueless? I won't stand for that scenario, not for even for a second. Julie's fucked up big this time."

"I've been giving all this some thought, Jim, and I have an idea that might help Julie see the light. I wouldn't suggest it if you hadn't already moved out and indicated that you're all but done with Julie. Could you come over for lunch tomorrow and we'll discuss it?" requested Betty.

The next afternoon saw me sitting in the living room at Mark's house. Mark and I were watching the ball game while eating soup and a sandwich. Betty walked into the room followed by a rather voluptuous blonde.

"Jim, this is my sister, Veronica, and yes, my dad had a sense of humor. She'll be staying with us for a couple months while she settles into her new job and looks for a place of her own. I think she may be the answer to your problem," Betty suggested.

"I hope you're referring to the bad case of blue balls I have recently contracted," I replied cleverly.

"Not even close, Big Boy," laughed Betty. "I've already discussed my idea with Veronica and she's game. It's all up to you now."

Later that afternoon, I pulled into my driveway and dragged my suitcase into the house.

"Jim!" cried Julie as she ran to me. "I'm so glad you came back! I was just getting ready to call you, much as I hated to be the first to give in. I still don't know what I did to upset you so much, but I'm sure we can work it out. I really missed you a lot, Darling. I love you so much!"

I mumbled a few trite sounding words of apology and carried my bag to the bedroom and unpacked my clothes. While I was doing that, I heard the phone ring and Julie answer it. A few minutes later Julie stepped into the bedroom.

"Jim, that was Betty, She's having a party Friday night and asked if we'd attend. I know that she's my friend and not yours, but you'll like her husband. He's a good guy and loves sports, just like you. She said there'll be a few other men there, as well as our girl friends from work. I told her that we'd be happy to attend, but if you don't want to go, I'll just tell her that you had already made other plans. If you don't want to go, would you mind if I went anyway? I really do enjoy Betty and the other girls that'll be there," Julie concluded.

"I'd be happy to go, Julie. I want to get to know your pals from work a lot better," I responded immediately.

Julie seemed surprised that I was willing to go to a party where I hardly knew anyone. Did I also detect a hint of disappointment, mixed with the surprise? Before I could be certain, Julie was smiling and unbuttoning her blouse.

"I think it's time for some make-up sex. Jim. I hate when we fight, especially when I don't even know what you were so mad about. Why don't you screw my brains out and then we'll discuss whatever it was that enraged you so. I'm certain that it had to be a simple misunderstanding," assured Julie.

Julie was a beautiful woman, as well as my wife of twenty two years, so I yielded to her suggestion and began to peel my clothes off.

"I shaved my little kitty for you, Jim. I thought you might like a better look at the object of your desire and the source of so much pleasure," purred Julie as she ran a finger up and down her bare slit.

I almost changed my mind about jumping into bed with Julie after her revelation about her pussy, but decided to man up and give it a pounding it wouldn't soon forget. Betty had suggested that I fight for my wife rather than just give up, so what better way than to fuck her into oblivion?

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Story tagged with:
Heterosexual / Humor /