Chapter 1: Introduction

My name is Lisa and I am a 28 year old woman with a nice (or so I've been told) body. I'm 5'2", 34b-25-34 with long black hair that hangs to my butt and hazel eyes. Over the past fourteen years I have been raped at least fifteen times. Even though it hurts, it's the only way I can get any satisfaction from sex so I continually put myself in situations where rape is almost inevitable.

I love the feeling of having my clothes ripped from my body and being taken brutally by a man who cares nothing about my feelings. I can't help it – I just love it. I'm going to tell you about how I got this way.

It started when I had just turned fourteen. Unfortunately, I didn't look it. Must have been hormonal or something. My body was just beginning to develop. I had little walnut size breasts and just a light down was beginning to grow between my little legs. Even at that time, I thought my hair was my best feature. It was long and shiny and I mostly wore it in a pony tail. I was just at that stage between girl and woman where I loved to pretend to be older than I was, but at the same time I liked to play with dolls.

Then came the day Ken asked me to go to the school dance. Ken was seventeen and a junior in high school. I was thrilled that such a "man" would ask me out. I asked my parents if I could go and their answer was an emphatic NO! I was too young to be able to even think about dating. I could start maybe when I was sixteen or seventeen. But I was a strong-willed child and I kept pestering them until they finally agreed that I could go, but my dad had to drive us both to the dance and pick us up right after it was over. I argued and argued that it was only a few blocks and we could walk home but there was no budge in them. It was their way or not at all.

I wondered what I should wear. I cajoled my mother into letting me buy a new dress for the dance. At the store I wanted to get an off-the-shoulder very short party dress but my mother wouldn't hear of it. We finally settled on a pretty pink dress with a v-neck that came just above my knees. I wanted to get a padded bra, but again my mother said no. (I had been wearing training bras up until this point.) We finally found a double A cup that would fit and she relented and let me get it. My only real victory however was the pair of high healed shoes and the pink frilly panties that would complete my outfit.

On the night of the dance, I started to get ready at 5:00 o'clock and was really ready by 6:00. My mother put on a little rouge and some eye shadow and some really light lip stick. When Ken arrived I was sitting in a chair in the living room waiting for him. I saw his eyes go wide when he saw me. I think he wanted to say something nasty (he was always teasing me about having "big tits" which, of course, wasn't true but it did make me feel good) but I saw him sort of bite his lip and all he said was "Hi Lisa. You really look nice tonight."

"So do you," I told him. He was dressed in a white shirt with a long black tie and black slacks and he really did look good to me. He timidly held out a corsage for me. I looked at my mother for guidance.

"That's really nice Ken," she said. "Why don't you pin it on her?" I saw my father looking daggers at her, but she knew that I was growing up and tried to give me a little more leeway than my dad. Ken hands were shaking as he lifted the neck of the dress off of my left shoulder and pinned on the corsage.

After my dad took pictures of the two of us together, we piled into the back seat of his beat up old Chevy and were off. When my dad pulled up in front of the school there were a lot of kids milling around outside, but he insisted that we go straight into the gym which had been set up for the dance. As we got out of the car I felt butterflies in my stomach. I really wasn't as sure of myself as I pretended to be.

Inside, I was sort of in awe of how the gymnasium had changed. There were red and blue streamers hung everywhere. There was a table at one side where they were serving punch and the lights were turned down low. At one end there was a small stage with a microphone on it. I say Mr. Smith, the principle, talking with two of the teachers who had agreed to be chaperons near the microphone. "Welcome to the annual spring dance," he said. "We are all here to have a good time so if you're thinking of causing trouble ... don't. Anyone caught drinking or rough housing will be expelled from the dance and you're parents will be called to pick you up. Now, with that said, it's time for FUN. Let the dance begin."

With that the band began playing a currently popular song. I watched as Mr. Smith turn off the microphone and leave the stage. I felt a hand on my arm and turned to look at Ken. "Do you want to get some punch?" he asked loudly trying to rise above the noise of the band. I nodded and we headed for the table where they were serving it.

We stood drinking punch and watching the couples gyrating on the floor in front of us. We had just finished our drinks when the band went into a slow number and Ken asked me to dance. I held him stiffly at arms length as my dad had taught me, but he pulled me close to him and I decided to go with the flow. It felt kind of good to have my little breasts pushing into his chest.

When the song ended, we were in the darkest corner of the dance floor. We walked to an even darker spot and he turned to me and gave me my very first kiss. I mean like my very first real kiss, not like you get from your aunt or something. I felt his tongue at my lips and I opened my mouth to permit it access. I mean, I thought it was kind of gross, but I'd heard some of the older girls at school talking about French kissing. After a while though, it felt sort of good and I pushed my tongue back wanting to see what it was all about. That felt kind of good too.

Then his hand went to my right breast and I didn't know what to do so I just stood there and let him do it. I could feel my little nipples growing hard as he squeezed. He released my breast and put both arms around me with one hand going down to grip my little ass. He whispered in my ear, "let's sneak out of here and go someplace where we can fuck."

That shook me out of my lethargy and I pushed both hands against his chest pulling away from him. Before I thought, I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. "You little bitch," he snarled. "I do you the honor of taking you out and you don't even want to give me a little."

I wheeled and walked across the dance floor, not caring that I was bumping into people that were dancing. I couldn't think of anything but that I wanted to get out of there. Tears were streaming down my face. I had thought he really liked me.

I spotted the front door and raced out past the two seniors who were standing there as monitors. I heard one of them yelling as I went through, but I ignored them and started to run. I ran for about a block and finally stopped, panting heavily. I waited until my breath returned to normal and stood there thinking. What should I do now? Maybe I should have listened to my parents. Maybe I was too young to date. Well, there was nothing for it, I'd just have swallow my pride and walk home. It was only seven or eight blocks.

I'd barely started to walk when a car full of young black teenagers drove slowly by. "Hey honky," yelled one of them. "Want a little of my black meat?" I tensed.

I heard the driver say, "Leave her alone Kurt. She's not even old enough to bleed." Then the car roared away into the night. I was starting to get really scared now. I forced myself to go forward, walking a little faster now.

An old pickup truck pulled up beside me. "Hey Lisa," the driver yelled. "Are you okay?" It was Mr. Phillips. He was sort a handy man that everybody hired to do odd jobs around the neighborhood. I remembered he had installed some windows for my dad. I walked over to the open truck window and peered in. "You shouldn't be out this late at night," he said. "Particularly not in this neighborhood."

He was right. It was sort of a run down area that went for about four blocks before it turned into nice houses again. "I'm okay," I said. "I'm just on my way home from a dance."

"Your parents should know better than to let you walk after dark on a night like this," he said disapprovingly. "Hop in and I'll give you a ride."

I hesitated. I couldn't tell him what had really happened. Well, he'd always been very nice to me when he was working around the house last summer. I opened the door and climbed into the truck.