Act Naturally

by

Caution: This Humor Story contains strong sexual content, including Consensual, Heterosexual, Humor, .

Desc: Humor Story: Husband switches families in reality television show.

I opened my eyes and stretched my limbs. For some reason, I felt more refreshed than I had in years. A good night's sleep can do wonders for a body.

I heard a noise emanating from the master bathroom and turned my head to the left to learn its source. An attractive woman stepped briefly into my view before entering the shower. I had to admire her lovely, nicely rounded ass and her very ample but relatively firm tits. She was one sexy woman!

A couple questions immediately came to mind. Who the hell was she? Why was she in my bathroom? The strange woman bore a resemblance to my wife, Bonnie, but the differences had been obvious as soon as I laid my eyes on her ass and tits. My wife's ass is broader and her tits are smaller and far less impressive in every way that could possibly matter.

I remained lying in bed as I considered my situation. I was clearly in my own bedroom and my own bed. The photos on the wall and the pine tree with the red birdhouse outside my window were testimony to my location. This had to be my room and I was almost certain that I was me, so who was she?

I thought back to the previous night and found I had no memory of it! I did remember getting up and eating some Cheerios and reading the morning paper. Try as I would, I was unable to recall anything past that point. How could I even be sure it was yesterday? A very uneasy feeling began to form in my gut as I climbed out of bed and threw on a pair of shorts. As lovely as the naked woman in my shower appeared to be, I simply had to find out what day it was, as well as try to determine what the hell was going on.

I hurried to my home office and fired up my computer. It was March 10, just as I had suspected. Only one day, Friday, was missing from my memory. It was just one day, but judging from the fact that a strange woman was in my bathroom taking a shower, some rather important events must have taken place.

Mulling over the situation, I meandered into the kitchen lost in thought. As I reached into the cupboard for the Cheerios, I heard a noise behind me. I spun around and saw a vision my mind refused to accept. Sitting at the kitchen table was a pudgy, green haired teenage girl with several piercings in her face. Just what the hell had happened yesterday?

The kid never even looked up from what appeared to be a Smart-phone in her left hand. Her lack of interest allowed me the opportunity to conceal my surprise and regain my composure. Maybe she was a friend of my daughter's? It just seemed unlikely to me that my daughter, Kate, would ever be friends with such a weirdo. But I could think of no other possible explanation for the kid's presence at my table, unless the circus was in town.

"So, are you a friend of Kate's?" I asked cautiously.

The thumbs stopped pushing keys on the phone and the green hair slowly rose to reveal a pleasant faced girl. She actually bore a slight resemblance to Kate.

"No, Dad. I hate that bitch. What kind of dumb question was that? Are you hung-over, or stoned or something? Even I would never be friends with myself. I lack the social skills to maintain even my own friendship," she added sarcastically.

I turned to pull a bowl from another cupboard as I struggled to conceal the shock I had just experienced. This little freak claimed she was my daughter Kate? How could she think I would believe her? Was it a joke? Or had I entered the Twilight Zone? I looked around for that damn signpost up ahead and found none. No, it wasn't the Twilight Zone or even Outer Limits. Yet, it was freaky as all hell.

The girl had gone back to texting so I didn't feel any need to explain why I had asked what she so obviously felt was a really stupid question. My daughter was a straight A student and quite popular in school. She was strong, athletic and cute as a button. One missing day could never account for her transformation into this female version of Bozo. I made a very good living using my brain and deductive skills. I decided to handle this bizarre situation like one of my business dealings. I would try to say as little as possible and learn as much as I could before walking into some sort of minefield.

Then I heard a loud belch and once again swung around in surprise. Standing in the kitchen doorway was what could only be described as a big fat kid. He was probably a couple inches shorter than I and a couple years older than the green haired clown sitting at the table. He wore a huge t-shirt that came almost to his knees. It was short sleeved, but because it was at least size triple X, the sleeves extended beyond his elbows. His hair was uncut and his man boobs appeared to rival the tits of the woman in my shower. What the fuck was going on?

I watched in amazement as he waddled over to the refrigerator and pulled out half a double layer cake and carried it to the table. He then sat down and began to eat it! He never even cut a slice. He just started eating the damn cake. I must have been staring because he looked at me as he stuffed a forkful of icing into his mouth.

"What're you looking at, Dad? Did you want some of this cake?" asked Jumbo as soon as he managed to swallow the large chunk of icing.

I slowly shook my head and staggered from the kitchen. My son, Jim, was a powerful kid. He was a member of the school weight lifting team and planned on going out for the football team in the fall. The kid in my kitchen was a fat putz. The only resemblance between the two was the color of their hair and eyes.

Then the thought came to me. These two kids claimed to be my progeny. Then where were my real kids? I hurried upstairs to look into their bedrooms. As I had somehow expected, the rooms were empty. At least they were empty of human life, but crammed with electronics. I was amazed at the different lap tops, game boys, I-Pads, Plasma TV's, as well as some stuff I couldn't even identify. Both kids' rooms had more shit in them than Best Buy!

As I wandered out of Jim's room in total confusion, I almost bumped into the formerly naked woman that had been in my bath. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a nice shirt and she looked hot as hell. I stopped in my tracks and waited for the words I was somehow certain that I would hear.

"Good morning, Honey! You slept late today. Usually you're outside mowing the five acre field you call the lawn before this. Are you okay?" she asked as I stood there with my mouth open.

"Yeah, I feel fine. I'll go mow the lawn right now," I promised directly to her tits. I raised my eyes to see a smile on her lips as she went past me and down the stairs.

Mowing the lawn is a great time to think. You can do the entire yard without ever having to concentrate on what you are doing. Hell, most guys can mow their yards in their sleep. As I went around the back yard, I considered my situation. I somehow knew that the missing day and the strange events of the morning were connected, but how?

Sometime later, I was mowing near the garage when I suddenly had a memory from the previous day. I concentrated on it and slowly things began to return. It took the rest of the morning to vaguely recall how I managed to wind up in my current circumstances.

I realized some of the pieces were still missing, but I had remembered enough to put much of the puzzle together. We, my family and I, had agreed to appear in a reality television show. It was similar to the one where wives switch families, but with some key differences. Obviously, one of the biggest differences was that the fathers switched families. As I tried to recall the way the show was done, I wondered how I ever agreed to the whole thing.

There would be no one operating any cameras. Somehow everything would be recorded and then edited later. We would all carry on as if we were truly just living our lives. Every member of the two families underwent some type of hypnosis in conjunction with some new, but supposedly harmless drug. It would cause us all to believe we were actually a real family. Of course that made some interesting possibilities. I would be sleeping with the other guy's wife and he would be sleeping with mine, but it would not feel new or exciting. We were to be programmed to think that we had been married for many years.

I considered how that would limit the amount of sex and the enjoyment we derived from it. I struggled to believe that my wife Bonnie would have ever agreed to this sort of sleazy television, or that I would, for that matter.

Apparently, the treatment hadn't taken with me as completely as it should. I could remember a fair amount, but I still had huge gaps in my memory of the previous day as well as what I was supposed to do in this new reality that was my life. Was it a contest? Was I supposed to try to somehow win? Then I remembered that there was no time limit to how long this might last. They had told us it could be days, or weeks, or even longer. It all depended on the ratings!

Everyone we came into contact with would act as if we really were the family we thought we were in our hypnotized stupor. Other people in our lives would all get to be part of the show, playing themselves. I thought about that and realized that it would only be a matter of time before someone screwed up and said or did something to ruin the gig. It can't be easy, especially for school kids, to maintain a charade like this, even though the producers had tried to match up the two families by appearances as much as possible. I decided to play along and not let anyone know that I had regained at least partial memory. That fact might allow me better insight into the show, what was expected of me, and what I had to do in order to win, if there was a winner.

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Story tagged with:
Consensual / Heterosexual / Humor /