Abstinence sows sand all over
The ruddy limbs and flaming hair,
But desire gratified
Plants fruits of life and beauty there.
Once upon a time in a land far, far away from where you are probably; when I was really bored and in sort of a good mood, I decided to write down the following account of a girl I once knew, and how she and her brother fell hopelessly in love...
"Do you have homework?" Mom asked us, just like she had a hundred million times before.
"Hi Mom!" I smiled, ignoring her question cause I had different priorities. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and peeked over her shoulder too. "Mmmm ... Cookies!"
"Hey Mom," Troy said and he was right behind me, like always. "What's that smell?"
"Guess," Mom said and she was a good mom. She liked to bake and I guess that sorta made up for her homework fetish.
"Cookies!" Troy grinned and he saw me stealing one, sort of juggling it with my fingertips cause it was hot!
"Bets, how many times have I told you to wash your hands first?" she sighed, but it was too late.
"Too late!" I said, taking a small bite and chewing with my mouth wide open cause that cookie was really hot!
"Now you got germs, Betsy!" Troy laughed and he was stealing a cookie too.
"Alright fine, sit down at the table like normal people," Mom said and she was already going for the refrigerator. Milk and cookies was a pretty good idea though and I wondered who'd thought of it.
Troy and I were both in high school, but we were never really serious about anything and around our parents we still acted like little kids sometimes, but I suppose everyone does that. I did it more than Troy, since he was just about seventeen and kind of on the 'I'm growing into a man' trip. He was gonna be a good looking man too, like our dad was, all kinds of tall and dark and handsome. I loved my brother, in a healthy, sisterly sort of way.
I was fifteen and looking forward to being pretty like my mom was. She was old already, like almost thirty-five, which seemed pretty ancient, but she didn't have any wrinkles or anything. No grey hairs. She was tall and busty and curvy, and all kinds of blonde and blue. You know. A lot of my brother's friends talked about how they wanted to have sex with her and that was so disgusting. I hated my brother's friends when they came over. All they did was stare at me and my mom, I swear. I put on extra clothes when they were around, just cause they made me feel naked.
"That's just the way boys are," Mom shrugged when I asked her about it. "Especially boys that age."
"When are they gonna grow out of it?" I wondered, cause some of those guys had been staring at me for years.
"When?" She giggled and sounded twenty years younger. Everybody loved my mom's giggle. "Never. So you're just going to have to get used to it, Bets."
Everybody called me Bets, cause that's a way better name than Betsy. My brother was the only one who didn't and that was just because he was my brother and determined to be different, so I didn't mind. I think a girl's brother should be different from everyone else and so I sorta liked it, except I mostly pretended I didn't.
The boys had a good reason to stare at me though, now that I'm thinking about it. While my mom was really round and curvy without being fat or anything, I was mostly tall, thin, and kind of angular. That's my word for it, nobody ever called me angular, but you know what I mean. I was waiting to fill out a little more, put it that way. My hips were narrow and my boobs were shaped like rockets, I swear. I kept waiting for them to get like big and round, but they just pointed out with sharp pink nipples that were like an inch long. I had the longest nipples in school, I bet, and I was mostly pretty self-conscious about it.
Being fifteen sucks. I mean, I grew up, but now out, see? My legs were too long for my body. My butt was round, but not very big at all. I bought these jeans, a pair I wasn't supposed to get cause first of all they were like sixty dollars, but also because they're not real denim, but like this stretchy stuff that sorta looks like denim, and they're totally supposed to fit my legs and hips and especially my butt, all skin tight and stuff. Have you seen those? But on me they were baggy in the back. My legs looked great, but my ass? God! I just wanted a real butt and some real tits too. That was gonna be so cool, if it ever happened.
"I look like a tomboy," I frowned one day, but my dad just rolled his hazel eyes.
"You look great, Bets," he said. "Don't worry, you're growing up too fast as it is."
"I wish," I pouted and I had a good face for that.
A pretty face, that's what I had, much like my mom's. Big blue eyes and a lot of blonde hair. Mom liked to keep hers kind of short, in a neat French curl down to her shoulders. I was going for sort of an alt-post-goth-punkodrama look, cause it was way cool. So my hair was long and shaggy and I liked to put like ten ponytails in it, pointing every which way, and then my best friend Shannon's sister would dye the tips blue and red and pink, cause she was going to beautician school and liked to practice, and ... You get the idea.
Tie dyed hair, that's what my daddy called it and he was pretty okay with it. Mom wasn't, but once it was dyed, you know, it sorta stayed that way for awhile. After the third time though, Mom had told me she was going to shave my head the next time I did it and that sounded seriously cool! I couldn't wait ... But she changed her mind at the last minute when she figured out I'd kinda like having a cue cut for awhile. I wanted to get one of those cosmetic tattoos on my skull. Not a real one, but one of the temporary kind that only last like a few weeks. I was gonna get a whole bunch of flowers, like a garden growing on my scalp, and right in the middle and in between and curling around, I wanted a serpent, like a snake, you know? So it was like the Garden of Eden and temptation and all that stuff right there on my noggin.
Maybe it was a good thing I didn't get to shave my head, since I go to a catholic school and all.
"Now," Mom said on the day in question. "Do you guys have any homework?"
"I got some math to do," Troy admitted.
"I sorta have some," I shrugged around a cookie.
"What does sorta mean?" she asked.
"We had this rape prevention thing at school today," I said, "and, oh! Look, I got a rape whistle and..." I was reaching for my purse but Mom stopped me.
"I believe you, Bets," she said. "What's your homework?"
"Rape prevention," Troy smirked, but I don't know why.
"What?" I looked at him. "Anyway, yeah, um, I'm supposed to practice the rape prevention stuff. Like if a guy grabs me and he wants to, you know, rape me or whatever? I'm supposed to like stomp on his foot and, uh, what else? Oh, sorta jab my elbow in his ribs and scratch his eyes out and all that. I'm supposed to blow my whistle too, except I can't remember if I'm supposed to blow it before I beat him up or afterwards, and..."
"Okay, okay," Mom said. "So what's your homework?"
"She's gotta get raped," Troy grinned at me.
"Shut-up! God! You're so ugly!" I rolled my eyes.
"Bets?" Mom was waiting.
"I'm not ugly," Troy frowned. "Who'd want to rape you anyway? Have you seen your hair?"
"What's wrong with my hair?" I asked him. "It's cool!"
"Bets?" Mom was still there.
"It looks like you went through a car wash," Troy said.
"That's the style!" I said and stuck my tongue out at him cause I knew my hair was cool. Shannon's sister said so.
"Betsy! What is your homework?" Mom finally demanded and that was pretty much what I was waiting for.
"Oh, um, I just gotta like practice fighting off a rapist," I shrugged.
"Practice fighting off a rapist?" She blinked at me.
"A girl like you shouldn't fight him off," Troy said. "You should send him a thank you note afterwards."
"Shut-up!" I stared at my brother and he just smirked some more.
"What? I just don't wanna see you die a virgin, that's all," he said and my mom gave him a real dirty look.
"Maybe you should help your sister with her homework," Mom told him and Troy looked at my mom like she was crazy.
"Him?" I giggled. "I think rapists are supposed to be like sorta tough, Mom."
"What's that mean?" he asked, feeling his manhood threatened, I was sure. He was so predictable.
"I mean you couldn't rape your way out of a paper bag," I said, still laughing at him and then I let my eyes go obviously down to his lap. "Besides, it's not like you got anything down there that a girl would be afraid of."
"Bets," Mom warned me. "Be nice."
"Oh yeah?" Troy had turned a little red, but we teased each other all the time anyway. "How would you know? You been sneaking peeks at me in the shower?"
"Get real!" I rolled my eyes sarcastically. "Janey told me all about your little thingy."
"She did?" That made Troy sit back.
"Of course!" I nodded. "She told everybody about it."
"She told everybody what?" Mom asked suspiciously and she didn't know about Troy and Janey.
"Just that when they were doing it she couldn't hardly feel a thing," I said lightly, as if it was the most casual sort of news in the world.
"She felt it!" Troy protested. "She told me she loved it!"
"What?" Mom stared at the boy like he was from Mars. "You've been having ... Sex?"
"She told you she came too, didn't she?" I smirked cause it was my turn. "She just didn't want to hurt your feelings cause you got such a little dick."
"Betsy!" Mom stared at me.
"Like adding insult to injury," I shrugged.
"You're such a liar!" Troy said and then his face broke into a huge grin. "Oh! You almost had me!"
"Heh!" I laughed cause I couldn't help it. "You believed me too! Admit it!"
"Almost," he shrugged. "You always smirk when you lie though."
"I do?" I frowned at that.
"Yep," Troy said apologetically. "You gotta work on that, sis."
"What are you two talking about?" Mom was kind of like in shock or something.
"Don't worry, Mom," I said, pushing my chair back and my brother was getting up too. "Troy's got a really big dick."
"Yeah," Troy said. "Betsy was just teasing me."
"What?" she asked, but we were already halfway out of the kitchen.
"Hurry up!" I said, laying on Troy's bed and playing with my Ken and Barbie dolls.
I had like a hundred of them, but Prince Ken and Wedding Barbie were my favorites. Of course they hadn't always been Prince Ken and Wedding Barbie, but for my ninth grade home economics class I'd made them some new clothes. Now Ken was charming in his royal blue waistcoat and ruffled poet's shirt, it had been sorta hard to do the ruffles, but they looked pretty awesome. The shirt was tucked into his golden breeches and those were tucked into his leather boots. He even had a little sword, a saber in a scabbard at his side. He was sort of a swashbuckling hero in my dreams.
Wedding Barbie still looked like Barbie, except she wore white fishnet stockings and her satin wedding gown had been turned into a satin wedding mini-skirt. It was kinda punky, so I liked it and when I got married I wanted a wedding mini-skirt just like it, with a long, long train like ten feet behind me. Wedding Barbie's train only just barely reached her heels and I'd been sorta disappointed with that. I'd shaved half her head and bleached the other half platinum blonde with peroxide and streaked it with pink before throwing a bunch of glitter in it. She looked sorta like Rave Barbie Getting' Hitched, you know? And Ken was kissing her hand.
Ken loved that romantic stuff and I wished I had a little velvet box, you know, like a ring comes in. Or a red velvet pillow would be awesome! I could grab another doll, cause I got a lot of them, and have a ring bearer.
"Oh no, Ken! It's my wedding day!" I said in a high falsetto voice, although my own voice is pretty high anyway. "I couldn't possibly run away with you!"
"But Barbie! You're the only hot rave chick I've ever been smitten with!" I said in my deep voice. "If I can't have you ... At least have my baby!"
"What?" Troy laughed and shook his head. "You're so sick, Betsy."
"What?" I asked, sorta wrapping Barbie's legs around Ken's waist and looking around for a rubber band or something so I could keep them that way.
"You're gonna help me with my homework right?" I looked at Troy a couple minutes later when he didn't answer me and I'd ended up taking a rubber band out of my hair and then I decided to take all of them out and just shag it.
"Rape prevention?" He snickered and I hated that sound.
"Yeah, I'm serious," I told him. "I really gotta practice it. We gotta like fight off some guy in a rubber suit tomorrow. I don't wanna look like an idiot!"
"You don't?" Troy turned to look at me, making a point of looking at my hair and I frowned at him.
"Okay! I get it! You don't like my hair! Sorry!" I huffed and puffed a little.
"Nah, it's okay," he said. "I just like teasing you."
"I know!" I pouted. "You're so mean to me all the time. I swear! I wish I had a pony instead of you!"
"You wanna ride me?" Troy laughed and he was closing his math book finally.
"Yeah," I giggled. "Put a saddle on your back and ride you to the circus!"
"I hate the circus," he made a face.
"I like the cotton candy," I said.
"Yeah, I'll help you," Troy agreed and I knew he would. He had this big brother thing going and he always had. I was pretty lucky that way. Troy always looked out for me.
"Cool!" I threw Ken and Barbie to aside and bounced my butt off the bed. "You're really gonna try and rape me, right?"
"You want me to?" he asked and he was sorta looking me up and down like a brother shouldn't.
"Well, yeah!" I giggled. "Of course I do! It won't work if you're not trying."
"Okay, that's cool," he agreed and I could see the wheels turning in his sixteen year old boy brain.
"But I gotta really try and fight you too," I said. "Don't forget about that part of it."
"You can try," he said. "But I'm not gonna stop just because you say no or whatever."
"Duh!" I rolled my eyes. "No doesn't mean no when I'm getting raped, silly! Otherwise, why would they give me a whistle?"
"I guess so," Troy said. "Soooo ... You wanna do it now? Here?"
"No way," I shook my head. "It won't work if I know it's coming."
"What do you want to do then?" he wondered and sometimes I thought he was sorta like brain damaged.
"You just gotta surprise me," I said. "Like when I'm not expecting it, you know?"
"Oh," Troy nodded. "You want it to be like a real rape thing, huh?"
"Yeah," I laughed. "What do you think we're talking about?"
"Nah, I get it," he said. "No cheating though, right? Don't go putting on like six pairs of panties and two pairs of pants and..."
"God!" I stared at him like he was crazy. "I wouldn't do that! I won't change clothes all night, okay?"
"Really?" He liked my little catholic school girl uniform, I knew that.
"I swear," I crossed my heart and kissed my fingers.
"Cool," he said, sorta moving behind me and I turned my head slowly. "So I'm gonna rape you when you're least expecting it, huh?"
"Yep," I said. "That's what I need."
"Okay," he shrugged and he nodded, putting his hands on my shoulders.
"What are you doing?" I made a little face as he squeezed my thin shoulders gently.
"What?" he smiled. "You look tense, that's all. I'm not gonna do anything, relax."
"You better not," I told him. "I'm ready for it, if you do."
"Well, I'm not," he rolled his eyes. "You just look like you need to relax a little."
"Heh," I stuck my tongue out at him, trying to ignore how good his hands actually felt. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" Troy asked.
"Massage me like that," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Stop it."
"Why?" He narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong with this?"
"Troy!" I giggled and he had such big hands, strong and gentle and he was rubbing the heel of his palms right against my shoulder blades, you know? It felt really good.
"Betsy!" He laughed softly. "Come on, I give Janey massages all the time. She likes it."
"I know," I smiled and somehow I found myself bending my knees. "She tells everyone at school."
"She does?" Troy pushed me down, slowly and gently, but definitely down so I sat on his bed, sorta half turned so he was still behind me.
"Well, duh!" I stretched my neck a little and looked down. "Ummm, that's nice."
"See?" Troy said and he was rubbing my neck. "I told you that you'd like it."
"Yeah, but if you think you're gonna like surprise me and jump me or something..." I glanced over my shoulder and Troy put an innocent look on his handsome face.
"Me?" he sounded shocked. "I just like giving pretty girls massages."
"Oh, I'm pretty now?" I giggled and looked back down, sorta hunched over and we were moving again.
"Well, yeah," he said. "You'd be hot if it wasn't for your hair."
"Heh!" I scooted over so I was sitting completely on my brother's bed, facing his headboard. "Lots of people like my hair, just for your information."
"Shannon and her sister don't count," Troy teased me, sliding his hands up and down my back now, stroking my body through the thin cotton of my white blouse.
"Other people like it," I said. "Some boys like it, I know that."
"Boys?" Troy sighed. "What like seventh graders? Come on, Betsy, you could do so much better than those guys."
"They're ninth graders, just like me," I said.
"Yeah, but still," my brother's fingers were catching on my bra strap and it was mildly annoying for both of us. "Can you like, take that off?"
"My bra?" I turned my head and Troy shrugged. "I'm not gonna get naked."
"I didn't say get naked," he protested lightly. "Did I say that? Leave your blouse on, just ... Lose the bra."
"You're gonna be nice?" I asked, feeling some little goosebumps growing on my arms.
"Yeah, Betsy," he said with enough sarcasm so I believed him. "I'm gonna be extra nice, okay?"
"Well..." I took a deep breath. "Look over there for a minute."
"What?" Troy gave me a look. "You're getting a free massage here and all you do is complain!"
"It ain't free if I gotta show you my boobs, is it?" I asked him and Troy reluctantly turned his face away.
It wasn't real hard getting my bra off anyway, even leaving my blouse on. All I had to do was sorta pull my left arm in and get the bra off it, push the arm back out and then pull my bra out my right sleeve. Presto! Like magic and Troy wasn't gonna see a thing, but it was pretty fun teasing him that way.
"Okay, you can look again," I told my brother and I held my little training bra up for him to see.
"Cool," he smiled and I probably blushed a little, but not too much. I hated my smallish tits, and I was pretty self-conscious about my big long nipples, but I had to admit it was fun playing with my brother and we did it a lot, actually.
But this was my first massage.
"Okay, see? That's better, right?" Troy asked as his hands went to my back once more.
"Hmmm..." I giggled and nodded as his hands went up and down, sorta moving my blouse along with him, but not too much. It was definitely better without the speed bump of my bra strap in the way.
We didn't say anything for a few minutes, just soft little sighs and maybe an occasional grunt or groan on my part as Troy worked my back with his fingers. I'd heard from Janey that my brother knew how to give a massage, but I had no idea he was so good at it. I was relaxing, like my muscles just wanted to sleep or something. It was getting hard to stay sitting up like I was and I found myself sorta leaning back against him more and more.
"Do you want to lie down?" his soft voice surprised me because it was right in my ear. I could feel his breath, hot and humid and it made me shiver.
"Um, kinda," I said slowly. "Where did you learn how to do this?"
"On the internet." He chuckled and I giggled and gave him a disbelieving look. "Lie down, on your stomach, it'll be good."
"God!" I laughed, hesitating without knowing why, except he was my brother, and this was his bed, and...
"What?" Troy asked, not pushing me, not forcing me at all, but just touching me lightly with his fingertips. Up and down my spine, so sweet, so soft.
"I can't believe you're giving me a massage," I said. "It's kinda weird."
"Why?" he wondered. "You're my sister. I love you, it's just a massage."
"You love me?" I had my head turned so I could see his face and I bit my lip when he nodded.
"Course I do," he said. "Lie down and I'll tell you a secret."
"A secret?" I stuck out my tongue. "What makes you think I'd want to know your secrets?"
"I only got one," Troy said. "It's about you."
"Me?" I narrowed my eyes. "What?"
"I won't tell you until you lie down," he said.
"I don't know," I giggled nervously, feeling my heart beating a little quicker. We fooled around a lot, but this was different. It felt different, like there was static electricity in the air, you know?
"Hey, if I'm going to trust you," Troy said, lifting his hands from my shoulders, "then you have to trust me, right?"
"Can I?" I whispered and then I cleared my throat, hoping he didn't hear me as my face warmed noticeably. "Okay, um, yeah."
I moved slowly, lying down on my brother's bed, on my tummy like he'd told me too. I tugged my plaid skirt down my thighs and laughed, feeling kind of vulnerable, wondering what was going on and why my nipples were all of a sudden so hard and itching. My tummy too, felt tight and knotted up and I took a deep breath while I waited.
"You should take off your blouse," Troy suggested and I laughed out loud.
"No way!" I turned my head and stared at him. "I told you, I'm not gonna get naked!"
"Betsy, that's not naked!" he said. "I won't see anything but your back. Look, just unbutton it, I'll take it off and you can lie there. I can't see anything, right?"
"That's not the point," I said.
"Then what's the point?" he frowned. "Do you want a real massage or not? I could just call Janey and..."
"Alright!" I said and I blinked because I hadn't meant to say that, but somehow the idea of Janey getting my massage made me feel ... Jealous?
"Really?" Troy grinned and he looked surprised that I'd given in so easily.
I almost changed my mind, but it was too late for that, and besides, it would feel pretty much better if Troy was rubbing my bare back, wouldn't it? That really sounded good and my tummy was doing cartwheels, which maybe wasn't so good. I felt a bit confused actually, wondering how this had even started.
"Yeah, just..." I didn't finish my thought as I reached underneath me, being careful to keep my body close to the mattress, and unbuttoned my blouse.
"There we go," he said. "I didn't see anything at all."
He pulled my blouse off my body and now all I was wearing was my plaid skirt and little pink panties underneath it. I didn't even have socks on! I hated socks and they came off two seconds after my shoes did. My bare back was right there for Troy, my bare shoulders and my narrow waist, my kinda boyish hips too. I really wished I'd fill out, even babyfat would be better than being skinny like I was, but Troy didn't say anything at least.
"What are you doing?" I asked without looking, cause I figured he'd start massaging me right away.
"Don't look!" Troy chuckled.
"What?" Of course I looked when he said that and I saw he was taking off his corduroy pants, which was what he wore to school since he couldn't wear jeans.
"Hey!" I almost sat up, but then I remembered I was naked, at least above the waist. "What are you doing?"
"Those pants are seriously uncomfortable," he shrugged. "It's okay, I'm just taking them off."
"But..." I blinked at him as he was now standing there in his Yoda Joe Boxers and a plain white t-shirt.
"You've seen me like this a bazillion times, Betsy," my brother said, and he was right. He was always walking around in his boxers and it wasn't a big deal, except now it was his underwear and I was on his bed topless!
"No, you gotta put something on!" I told him. "What if Mom comes up here and..."
"No problem," Troy grinned at me and I think my mouth woulda hit the floor if the bed hadn't been in the way. click He locked his bedroom door. "See? All fixed."
"Troy!" I did sit up a little too high and I crossed my arms over my long hard pink nipples.
"Shhh... !" he put his finger to his lips. "You're gonna get us caught, now lie back down. I'll give you a special massage."
"A special massage?" I blinked at him and my whole body was hot. I was thinking I should run away or something, grab my clothes and get out of there. Teasing each other like we did was one thing, getting a massage with all our clothes on was another, but this ... I didn't know what this was!
"Yeah, you'll see." He started getting on the bed and his hands found my back, pushing me back down onto my tummy and chest. "Relax now, just take slooooow breaths, okay? In and out, Betsy ... In and out..."
"Oh God," I laughed weakly, crossing my arms under my chin and I felt my brother straddling my thighs. His hairy legs rubbed my smooth skin and it made me tingle all over for some reason.
"There we go," he sighed and his hands were sliding up my back, starting down by the waistband of my skirt with his thumbs meeting along my spine. Oh! That felt so good, you have no idea.
"Ummm..." I sighed too and even my brother's weight on my legs was comfortable. He was sitting on me, like right at the mid-point of my thighs where the hem of my skirt was. I liked his weight, it was comforting somehow and that just made me more confused because I was still frightened by the newness of the situation.
"You're skin is so soft, Betsy," Troy told me. "God, it's like silk or something."
"It is?" I smiled and sucked my lips "Is it better than Janey's?"
"Janey's?" he snorted. "Way better than hers. She's got little moles and stuff, they don't look bad or anything, but you're skin is perfect."
"It's perfect?" I giggled and my heart did a little flip-flop. "You're teasing me."
"No I'm not," he promised. "I could touch you all day and never get tired of it."
"Heh," I took a deep breath. "That wasn't the secret, was it?"
"The secret?" Troy laughed. "What? That you have perfect skin? No."