My wife and I had been growing apart for the last several months. No matter what I did, we always seemed to end up arguing. I am retired she is still working-just for something to do she says. Now, I wonder.
No, we are not Mr. And Mrs. America. We are just what you would expect; rather average looking middle aged married folks. I am 51 and my wife Georgia is going to be 50 this weekend. To me she is still the sexy lady I married 30 years ago and I love her dearly. I lust after every extra pound of her (now don't get me wrong, she isn't fat, just carrying a little too much weight as am I). She is about 5'8" and weighs about 145 while I am 6 feet even and weigh an even 200. I still work out three times a week at the YMCA and operate the 180 Acre family farm while Georgia works at a locally owned bank in a town about 38 miles away.
She is like many women and feels she is now fat and ugly. She is terrified of the big 50 coming up. I tell her and tell her this just isn't so, that, to me she is still the only one I desire and that many other men check her out routinely.
As the last year has passed she has been less and less interested in sex, or even in doing things with me as we used to. I have asked her what the problem is and how I can help and she always says that she is tired or it is just the "change of life". She asks me to be patient and I will get used to it. Now that is something I will not do. We used to have sex 5-6 times a week when young and even before she started reducing the frequency last year it was 3-4 times a week.
Over the last year, it seems she is working longer hours and when questioned about it she gets angry, reminding me about all the long hours I put in while I was working. It has gotten to where she stays in town every Friday night for drinks and supper with the girls. Many times she gets home after midnight and then doesn't get up until nearly noon Saturday. I don't know when we have had a night out with just the two of us.
I decided that since Friday was her birthday I was going to take her to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate, and then I was going to have a discussion with her about our marital problems. You would have thought she would be happy about the meal but boy, was I wrong.
I told her I had reservations for 8 p.m. dining on Friday and then we would make a night of it, going dancing and rekindling our love. I told her I wanted to remind her how much I love her and to make her birthday a special night like we used to. WOW, Gigantic mistake!
Georgia turned to face me when I told her about my plans and started screaming at me. I could actually see the spittle fly from her mouth as she laid into me. "What he hell are you doing making reservations for us on a Friday? You know I always go out with the girls after work Friday. This Friday is no different. In fact, they were going to make it special because it was my birthday. NO. You just have to change the reservations to Saturday. I have plans for Friday and they can't be broken."
I just stood there in shock. I really couldn't believe I had just heard what I had heard. In times past she would have been ecstatic about the proposed night as it was one of her all time favorite ways to celebrate special occasions. I looked at her for a moment then I felt my anger come boiling up. I said, "That's just too damn bad. I'm sick and tired of you spending so much time with the damn women from your office. They get most of your non-work free time and I get almost none. You can just cancel the night out with the girls. If you don't there's no reason for you to come home afterward. You can just stay in town forever for all I care. I'm through taking second place to those damn women and a damn job you don't need in any event."
Georgia stood looking at me in shock. I saw tears come into her eyes. She said, "I can't believe you just said that. I thought you loved me. You know how important my job and friends are to me and you want me to give them all up over one night on the town?"
I looked at her and said, "You heard me. It's not just over one night on the town. It's about a lot of very late nights on the town without me. It's about our plans to retire and travel before we get so old we can't. It's time for you to choose. It is either your excessive time in town or me. I'm not putting up with this shit any longer. I want my wife back. I want the lover I married and had up until a year ago. If you are having trouble because of menopause, see the doctor. If it is just a bunch of work companions, get your visiting over with earlier or give them up. I suggest you turn in your resignation too. We don't need the damn money and I want my companion back. I want to begin traveling like we promised we would do when I retired."
Georgia looked at me with tears running down her cheeks, then turned and walked into our bedroom, slamming the door behind her. I was so angry I knew I wouldn't sleep so I began surfing the web and thinking, trying to decide where things went wrong and why they did so. All at once, I had a horrible thought. What if it wasn't the girls? My god, could Georgia be having an affair? Now I knew what fear and anger felt like. This was a totally different fear than I had felt in combat. This was a soul-destroying fear; the fear of losing that one thing that was most dear to me. Now I knew I had to get to the bottom of this.
I began to plan and think. Georgia hadn't been dressing any differently but she had cut back on our sex. I don't remember when she had last come to me asking to make love. In times past, she had been the aggressor about 1/3 of the time. I did know I was being shot down many times when I requested sex. I never got any sex or cuddling on the days she was so late getting home. Was this another indicator of infidelity? I began to think so.
I decided I would begin spending more time in town and I would watch Georgia's office around lunchtime and quitting time to see what was going on. I would follow her to her girl's night out sessions if I could and check things out. I was sure hoping it was menopause instead of another man but after considering all the indicators and researching menopause on line I was worried it wasn't.
The next morning, Wednesday, I didn't get a good-bye kiss and no conversation when Georgia left for work. I realized I hadn't gotten a good morning kiss or a "honey I'm home kiss" for several months unless I was the instigator. When I did get them they were very perfunctory.
That evening Georgia came storming into the house and straight up to me. "Well, since you have been such an asshole about the whole thing, I have told the girls I won't be there Friday night. I told them you insisted I go out with you instead of my friends. I told them I might meet them Saturday night instead."
I was angry with her attitude but decided to let it go, hoping she was going to meet me at least half way and spend more time with me. I did make her angrier though when I reminded her our children were going to be here that weekend and would stay over Saturday night. I reminded her she really needed to be home to visit with them. We only get to see them a couple times a year because they are both in the military. They took leave to be home for her birthday.
I watched her tears well up again, and then she said, "I have to go call the girls then and tell them I can't meet Saturday too. Why do you feel you have to totally ruin my weekend?"
By Friday evening Georgia had calmed down somewhat and was at least pleasant to be with, even if we weren't laughing and enjoying ourselves like we had in the past. I was really feeling optimistic when I left our table for the rest room. We had a very enjoyable meal and a nice bottle of wine and were anticipating the desert.
I was returning to our table when I saw a middle aged man start to walk by Georgia. He saw her and stopped. I was close enough to hear him say, "Georgia. What are you doing here? I thought you told me you were going to spend the weekend with your asshole husband?"
As he said that, he grabbed a chair from the table next to ours and scooted it up beside and facing Georgia. Her face turned red, then white. I heard her say, "Shhhh. Be quiet. He just went to the restroom. You know you shouldn't be here."
I saw her jerk as he leaned toward her and ran his left hand up under her skirt. He then leaned to her and gave her a slow kiss on the lips. "I'll go then but see if you can break away for a while won't you? John and Sally and Sam and Jennifer are here dancing and I feel like the fifth wheel. You know we had so wanted to give you a good birthday celebration. I was just getting ready to leave when I saw you. Oh, yes. I'm glad you wore panties for him. TA, TA."
As he rose from his chair I walked back to the table. Georgia saw me and jumped a little then ignored her friend when I sat down. I leaned part way over the table and asked, "Who was that asshole?"
Georgia frowned at me and then said, "Tom. Watch your language. That was a man I know that comes into the bank. You don't need to use that type of language about him when he was nice enough to stop and say hello to me."
I gritted my teeth, then said, "I'm sorry if that is all it is. When I walked up I could have sworn I saw him pull his hand from under your skirt before he got up. If I had been sure that is what I saw the bastard would be laying out on the floor right now. While we're on the subject, you should realize if something is going on between you and him or anyone else you had better plan on the shit hitting the fan also."
.... There is more of this story ...