Chapter 3

Morning and I awoke with a headache, and a mouth that felt as I imagined the bottom of our garbage can would feel. It didn't matter. I had slept well, no dreams, no lying awake thinking back over the fun Scott and I had. Just the blissful nothingness.

It was mid-morning; Paul and dad would be at work. Mum would be pottering around doing the housework. Sue, who was between jobs, would be out either looking for work or helping with the house. What to do? I could lie in my cosy bed and let them do what needed doing, or I could get up and face my new life.

Facing the world won out. Moping around wouldn't change anything. The loo was the first thing on my agenda, followed by a shower, then dress. With that out of the way, I was ready for something to eat.

"When do you think you will go back to school," Mum asked while I ate.

That was something I hadn't thought about. "Next week I suppose." The thought of facing my school friends filled me with dread. More silly questions, 'how are you feeling Sheryl', or worse still, 'you'll get over it'. The most insidious of all will be the avoidance from those who didn't know what to say. To those, I may just as well have contracted leprosy.

One day dragged into the next, until by Friday, I was looking forward to returning to school, if only to have something to fill my day. Sue had fallen into a routine, off first thing in the morning job hunting, usually returning around midday, and then helping with the household chores.

I woke late, I knew mum was in town for the day, and Sue would be out. I had the house to myself. Turning up my stereo, I got out of bed, reached for my gown, then changed my mind. What the hell, being naked felt good. Moving seductively in time to the music, I sauntered to the bathroom, my mind on the music. It was not until I was ready to get in, that the shower door opened, and Sue's inquisitive face appeared, scaring the hell out of me. Here I was, caught naked, giving her a full frontal.

"Would you mind washing my back?" She asked nonchalantly, as though this was an everyday occurrence.

My stammering reply was lost in the loud music, but she took my response as yes. With that, she turned her back to me, opening the door fully as she did.

No bloody wonder Paul had his balls in a twist, she was beautiful, even from behind. I could only imagine how she would look from the front. She handed me the soap, moved her hair out of the way then waited.

Without thinking, I soaped both hands and began washing her. Unbidden, a thrill swept over me, one that until now only Scott had produced. I had washed him repeatedly over the days we'd spent together, but that was always a prelude to making love. I questioned the feeling this simple act caused now I was doing it to Sue. From the first touch, I noticed the differences. Gone were the firm muscles, replaced by a more sensual feel, soft, but with an underlying firmness. I became engrossed with what I was doing, analysing the differences between the male and the female bodies. Surprised with Sue's blatant request, yet thrilled by it. I became lost in what I was doing, no longer washing, but massaging her, fingers and thumbs probing deep into her flesh. Her firm, rounded buttocks receiving particular attention, as did between her shoulder blades.

"Would you like me to wash your back?" she asked as she turned to face me.

I did, but that was not going to be my answer. We stood looking at each other, our eyes wandering over each other's body. I was scared, the feelings I had from washing her were about to overwhelm me. If I let her touched me, I would want something more.

"Not now, but soon," the best I could stammer. I backed away, but did nothing to hide my nakedness from her.

Sue stepped out of the shower and began drying herself and I stepped in. I was about to shut the shower door, but hesitated. Sue saw my indecision. "You can leave it open if you'd like."

I did like. I liked her eyes on me; it made me feel good, like when Scott use to ogle me. I liked being the object of another's desire. I knew what she wanted, and by leaving the door open she knew I was thinking about it.

"I hope I haven't been too forward," she said as she dressed.

My reply was a shock, even to me. "I'm pleased you were."

With my shower finished, my sanctuary beckoned. Laying on my bed, still naked, I began thinking of what had come over me. Surely, after Scott, I was not becoming interested in girls. That was not the reason. Ever since puberty, I had been touched, not sexually, but touched, held, made to feel wanted. To perhaps make up for the lack of physical contact I had from my parents. Later, when Scott's true feelings became evident, the touching took on more meaning, until we took it to the ultimate.

Mum was home when I ventured from my room, taking away any awkwardness there might have been between Sue and me. We fell into our house cleaning routine, and the episode was soon out of mind.

The weekend was quiet; Paul and Sue invited me to join them for a night in town and to take in a movie. I thanked them and was about to decline their offer, then changed my mind. A night out would be good.

The night was great fun, we saw a movie, sat and had coffee, then walked through town. We girls stopping at each dress shop we came to. Paul walked on until he found something that took his interest. It was at these times the tomcats hung around us. Their crude comments made us smile. They were about as subtle as a hit in the head with a brick. Paul always came to our rescue, taking each of us by the hand, then walk away, leaving the idiots to wonder if we were both his.

We were still in happy mode on the drive home, and I for one didn't want the night to end. "Can we call into a pub and get a couple of cans?"

"I don't see why not," Paul said as he caught Sue's eye.

Oh dear, now I'd started something. A couple of cans each, and those two would be at each other for most of the night, and probably not bother to be too quiet about it. To date, they had been discrete about what they did between the sheets, but tonight, I suspected the beast would be released.

Paul picked up a six-pack of a vodka mix for us girls, and a couple of beers for him, then drove to a secluded parking bay that over looked the city. Drinks in hand we sat at a picnic table, silently taking in the panoramic view. The twinkling lights mesmerising. After his first beer, he began talking about Scott. For the first time I listened to his side of the story. Up until now, all I had thought about was how much I missed him, giving little thought to how he felt. Now he let it out, giving vent to his feelings, and for the first time I saw him cry. In his own way, he loved Scott as much as I did, and missed him. Now he had me crying, letting go of the emotions that I had tried to keep hidden. Sue, who was between us, cradled our heads, letting our emotions run their course. My mind flicked back to the previous day. Thinking of how she had felt to my touch. Now she was touching me, and I felt her warmth.

"We're being silly," I said after a very un-ladylike sniff. "Scott would be mad at both of us if he were here."

Paul dried his eyes on his shirtsleeve. "I guess you're right, he didn't have a lot of time for self pity."

I looked at him and Sue. "And we're spoiling what has been a wonderful night. Drink up, I want to get plastered."

Sue and I did just that, Paul more sedately. By the time Sue and I had finished our cans, we wanted more and began eyeing the little Paul had left. "Oh no you don't," he said as he moved it out of our reach.

We sat for a while longer, all the time Sue becoming more amorous.

"Time you two went to bed," I said wishing I had someone to go to bed with.

By the time we arrived home, the alcohol had begun to work its magic on me, I was light headed and ready for sleep. I watched the giggly Sue drag my poor brother into their room. Obviously to do unspeakable things to him for the next hour or so. I smiled at the thought. I listened to them for a while, and then blissfully, sleep claimed me.

After a very quiet Sunday, Monday dawned. School again. I dressed in my spinster type uniform and left the house. If I had thought going back would be terrible, I was wrong. It was worse. My school friends treated me as though I had the plague. Worse still were the teachers, it was as though I wasn't there.

I braved it through the first week, then the second. Nothing changed. I began to daydream through the classes. Ignoring class directives. Became disruptive when it suited me. Escaping to the library during lunch, just so I couldn't be ignored by my one time good friends. How quickly my once perfect world had changed. With my dark mood, things at home began to change. Mum and dad taking the brunt of it. For some reason I couldn't take my frustrations out on Paul or Sue. Of all the people I knew, they alone understood.

I knew the reason I was as I was. I was frustrated. I felt no one loved me, and as a response, made myself unlovable. Paul brought his male friends around, hoping I would be pleasant to them. I wasn't. I was rude to them if I deemed it appropriate to mix. If not I ignored them, or stayed in my room.

With school a disaster, I began taking days off, faking illnesses; trouble with my periods, headaches, anything that got mums sympathy. Now I was wallowing in so much self-pity, I didn't think to explain to mum and dad what the problem was. It was probably lucky this was my senior year and we did have days where we weren't expected to attend.

Lying in bed, having yet another lazy day, I heard mum shut the front door as she left for the day. Surprisingly, my headache disappeared the moment I heard it close. I stretched lazily then pushed back the quilt and sat on the side of my bed, wondering how to fill in the day. First a trip to the loo, then a shower. That should get rid of at least half an hour. The shower was great, while I was in there I washed my hair, something I had been neglecting of late. Rinsing out the last of the conditioner, I felt the door open. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Time for me to wash your back I think."

I turned to face her, surprised to see she was still fully clothed. "You will get your clothes wet if you do."

"What do you think I should do?"

Bless her; she wasn't being pushy, just giving me the option of deciding where this was going. "Best you take them off." I blushed when I said that, but already my heart was beating faster, and I felt the first flush of my desire rise.

She didn't hurry. As she took off each piece of clothing, she stopped to fold it, placing it elegantly on the chair, until she was as naked as I was. She reached in and took the soap, working a good lather in her hands. I turned my back to her, and waited. The first touch set my body tingling, and then as she began to massage me, I relaxed, letting her do whatever she liked. She soaped her hands again, and then got in with me. With her arms around me, she began washing my breasts, hers press firmly into my back. I closed my eyes, imagining Scott doing it to me. I was so lost in my dream world I didn't notice one of Sue's hands between my legs, gently washing away the frustrations of the past weeks.

I turned to face her. "Your turn now."

She turned her back to me, and I began the sensual massage. As before, I spent time on her buttocks, remembering how much she'd liked it. Then decided to take things further. My hands went to her breasts, but unlike what she did to me, I began exciting her nipples. "Oh that's nice," she whispered, pushing them firmer onto my hands. With one hand still playing with her, I took the soap and ran it down her back, not stopping, pushing it between her cheeks, then on further between her legs. She parted them a little, making things easier. I dropped the soap, my fingers now washing that part of her that Paul found so fascinating. From here on Sue would have no doubt of what I wanted.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she turned to face me.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Your room or mine?"

"Mine." the word coming out as a squeak.

She picked up her neatly folded clothes, and followed me into my bedroom. Once her hands were free, she turned to face me, taking in each other's obvious charms. My eyes lingered on her breasts, her nipples still showing her excitement; slightly larger than my 34C I thought, other than that we were of identical build. Her shoulder length hair more sandy than my golden blonde. Mine perhaps a tad longer. We still stood silently looking at each other, whatever happened from here; Sue would have to take the lead. She did, sitting on the side of my bed she held out her arms to me. I obliged, moving to accept her embrace.

For the next hour, we explored all the possibilities two girls could. Each taking it in turn to give and to receive the pleasure. Our ever-searching mouths and fingers leaving nothing untouched.

With both of us exhausted, we lay in a mutual embrace, now was the time to talk.

"Have you ever done this before." I asked.

"Never."

"Then why me?"

"Because you needed someone, and I noticed boys weren't on your agenda for the moment, and I was here."

My fingers and lips began exploring her body again. "I'm glad you were."

"One for the road?" Sue asked as she turned on the bed.

"I'm sure there's one more," I said as my head nestled between her legs.

I was wrong; there were two more. When we were finished we didn't move, and almost went to sleep. We had to get up; I didn't want anyone to catch us together. It might take some explaining.

Out of devilment, I probed her willing body with my fingers. "We had better get dressed, no point getting caught like this."

Somewhat reluctantly, she agreed with me.

With us presentable again, we made a coffee and sat at the table. "If you feel the need again, will you let me know?" Sue said in all seriousness.

"I will, and the same goes for you." I began thinking. "This doesn't make us lesbians does it?"

Sue looked at me and smiled. "I think we like boys too much to have to worry about that. If you're bothered about it, we won't do it again."

"No, that's not what I meant. I liked it. So much of what we did was what Scott and I did together. Except for one thing of course."

Mum arriving home stopped any more of that kind of talk.

She dropped her packages on the table. "Feeling better I see."

"Much better." I was right, I did feel better, but not in a way I could tell her about. My time with Sue had removed the last of the ominous feelings I'd had.

School became more agreeable. I was still invisible to most, but it no longer worried me. I stopped being disruptive in class, which, while it did not earn me any brownie points; at least the teachers stopped ignoring me.

I began arranging my days off when I knew the house would be free. These were the days Sue and I could realise our wildest fantasies. We began with honey and a can of whipped cream, then progressed to eating a banana from each other. Whatever one of us didn't think of, the other did. Many a night I saw either Paul or Sue go into their room with a banana. Their antics keeping me awake, which gave my now experienced fingers a job to do.

My change of attitude now had me noticing Paul's male friends, and I even found myself flirting with a couple of the more forward ones. None of them would ever replace Scott, but as everyone had told me. Life must go on. Scott had lit my fire, and then turned it into a raging inferno. With his passing, it had almost been extinguished. Sue had rekindled it and kept it burning, but I knew there was more. I began looking at the forward ones, wondering if either of them would be worthy of my charms. Only time would give me the answers.

With the end of the school year approaching, and along with it, my nineteenth birthday, mum and dad decided a party was in order. A meal at home with them and some of our close friends for my birthday. Then they would leave us to party long into the night with the rest of our friends. They were going to stay at a near-by motel, in the unlikely event there was trouble. That was for the future, I still had exams to get through.

With Sue's help, and my new attitude, my exams went well, and with them over with, so was my schooling. Supposedly, I was now ready to face the big wide world. Get a job, save some money, look to my future. How boring.

My birthday was now only a week away, and the pace in the house stepped up. Mum out more than she was home. Sue and I took full advantage of the time alone. The moment mum was out of the door our clothes were off. Sometimes to shower together. At others on our own, but always with the door open, an open invitation for a chat, or whatever else we felt like. The days of the honey and whipped cream had passed, as had the fruit and vegetables, although we still ate many bananas. I guess you could say we were becoming like any married couple, knowing what pleased the other, all the other stuff forgotten.

Saturday arrived, and with it all the last minute preparations. By lunchtime, everything was ready. I had been wondering where my presents were, apart from four heartfelt wishes for a happy birthday, there was nothing. Lunchtime things were different. One by one boxes of all shapes and sizes appeared on the table. A new mobile phone that did everything, from mum and dad. Paul had bought me a new surround sound system for my room. Sue was saving hers until last, the size and shape meant it could only be one thing, a new dress. We looked at each other. "Bedroom I think?" I said.