A big 'Thank You' to WanderingScot for editing this story and making it a much better read...
Where do I start? Two days before Christmas and here I am sitting in a bar wondering where I had gone wrong. My wife Sue and I had a hell of an argument. All because I read adult stories on the computer.
It all started a few years ago when I started reading erotic stories on line. After seven plus years of marriage the sex wasn't happening as often as I liked. So after fifteen thousand arguments with the little woman I just said, "Hell with it." If she didn't want to do it that often, then I would at least read about it.
As I've read in many articles that this shit is as bad as smoking, drinking, or even taking pot. It's addictive and can ruin your life. I'm somewhat inclined to agree with that assumption right now. My mind just doesn't seem to have the answers anymore. Fantasies, realities, truth, lies, I can't seem to get a grip. I often wonder if there are other guys like me? I wondered if other marriages were like mine? What happened to them? Did they succeed? I wish I knew.
That's why I'm here at the bar waiting for some old friends. I wanted to hear their stories. Brad and Mark are both divorced now. Jim is still married to an Asian woman he had met while overseas. They've been married for about four years now.
My marriage seemed pretty normal. We had two kids at home. Both of us work and our schedules are quite busy and not enough time together. I guess we put everything in our lives ahead of ourselves, or maybe the sex just got old and not worth the bother.
Reading these stories are head games with me. I don't even know what I believe anymore. I always thought I knew what kind of person I was. But, after reading so many stories I don't know anymore. Sue gave me an ultimatum to stop reading the stories or she wanted a divorce.
Once I started reading the damn stories. I had to ask myself, "Fantasies or realities," no-one could put up with some of the shit I was reading about. Husbands wanting to swap saying, "Fuck my wife, please," parties that turned into orgies. Men bringing strangers home to fuck their wives. Interesting reading but it was warping my mind.
All I wanted was to liven-up my sex life a little. I didn't want to fuck the whole damn planet. I did wonder how I felt about my marriage, my wife, my sex drive. I wasn't out to have affairs but to just take care of my own wife.
Reading so many stories made me wonder what it would be like to watch Sue with another man. Would I get turned on like they do in so many stories I've read? Could I share her with another man and maybe even join them?
I was finding out the stories I enjoyed most were ones where the husband was in charge and gave his wife to other men when she was drugged or so drunk and not aware what was happening or was at a point she didn't care.
God, I can picture Sue lying on the bed and having old friends or strangers rubbing her tits or fingering her pussy. I picture her on a dance floor and letting men rub her ass as she smiles at me. In my thoughts she never remembers what she did the next day. The main point was I was in control.
The flip side to these stories was Sue cheating on me. When I read those cheating wife stories I always pictured Sue as the cheating wife. The outcome to these stories was me finding out and then taking revenge on Sue and the guy she was fucking.
I beat-up or killed more guys than you can ever imagine in these fantasies. I didn't want to be made a cuckold. As I said, I'm really mixed up.
The guys showed up and we ordered some beers and went and sat in a corner booth, away from the noise.
"So Bob, what's this shit about you wanting to hear about my divorce," said Brad. "Sue isn't fucking around on you, is she? It would be hard for me to believe but shit does happen."
"That's why I'm divorced today," mentioned Mark. "My cunt of a wife said she found someone better. The fucking problem is I introduced them."
"No, Sue hasn't been cheating except in my mind. I've been reading all these stories about wives that cheat and it makes me wonder about Sue. It's all in my fucking head. Sue is so fed up with me reading these stories that she said I can read the stories but it won't be under our roof. She has had enough of my bullshit fantasies. I better either get it out of my system or find another wife."
"Damn, Bob, that's pretty straight to the point. Are you going to let her tell you what you can and can't read? If my old lady tried that shit with me, I'd kick her ass out on the street. I'm the boss at my house. Maybe you guys should have married an Asian woman," replied Jim.
"So Brad, do you want to tell us a little about your past and why you are now divorced?"
Not much to tell you except I blew it. We got married young and the sex was good. I had a sales job traveling and was gone a couple of days a week. I spent too many nights alone in a motel room and decided to spend more time in the lounges. Needless to say after a few drinks and seeing some women alone in the lounge I started getting acquainted.
The first couple of times I felt bad about it, you know, cheating on Amy. I always told myself I would stop but the truth was, I liked the strange pussy. After awhile it was just a matter of hiding it hoping Amy never found out. Since I went to different towns I rarely saw the same women over again.
It actually became part of my life. I still tried to treat Amy right when I was home. I convinced myself that it strengthened my marriage. I wasn't as mad at Amy when she didn't want sex. I really made myself believe that it was okay.
I thought I was hiding it pretty good until I was at the office and received the divorce papers. It was two years after I began cheating on Amy. She had hired a private investigator, who I ended up having to pay. He followed me on and off over a two month period.
I didn't see it coming. Apparently, she had received a call from a woman asking for me. The woman, Sheila had found my cell phone which I left in the room. She called my house to let me know she found it. On my cell phone she looked up my contacts and just called home.
She told Amy that she was the maid for the motel I stayed at. Amy gave her our address and the phone was mailed to us. Unfortunately Amy must have been suspicious because she called the motel back and asked to speak to Sheila.
The desk manager told her that no one by that name worked there. Amy told me at the divorce hearing that I looked nervous when I told her that Sheila had called and said she found my phone. I guess I didn't react right when she mentioned Sheila. So that's when she called the motel back.
I regret what I did to Amy. She deserved much better. I miss my kids only seeing them every other weekend and now that Amy is back dating, I find myself jealous.
I don't know if we will ever get back together. It's been over a year since the divorce. The strange sex isn't as enjoyable as it once was. I guess not getting away with it has lost its luster. Besides, now I miss what I don't have, that's Amy. We have done a few things with the kids but she won't let me touch her.
I'm paying alimony and child support for a lot of years, all because I thought I was smart enough to get away with cheating. Now I'm paying the price.
"Damn Brad it seems you still care for Amy," I replied.
"That's the problem; I do. It just took a divorce to recognize it. Don't screw it up with Sue. If you really love her, put your macho attitude aside and think of her and the kids," said Brad.
"What about you Mark? You seemed to give the impression that Marie cheated on you or that you knew about it. Do you want to get it off your chest and tell us?"
"Look, I'll tell you what happened but if any of you ever tell anyone, I promise to come back and kick your ass."
I'm older than you guys and was married longer. After about seven years our sex life got stagnant. Marie was a wild child before we met but we fell in love, so I thought, and got married. Marie was unable to have kids so we never had any children to interrupt our sex life. Don't get me wrong here, it just didn't make any difference to me if we had rug rats. I wouldn't have made the best father anyway.
After a few years of marriage we started talking about swinging, swapping and such. Just talking about it made our sex life better. When we went to parties we started to let ourselves go. I started touching other men's wives in front of them. Just a little touching at first to see how they would react.
When they saw me they then started touching Marie. It actually made me hard. We were entering a whole new lifestyle. Going to a room and watching another man fuck your wife while you fucked his was a real turn on.
I didn't feel like a wimp; I felt great. We started attending swingers parties. I got to fuck women of just about every race or nationality. Marie and I weren't cheating on one another. We both knew what our partners were doing.
This went on for a couple of years. We attended parties about once every couple of months. In between we swapped with other married couples. From the beginning we made a rule that we both had to be happy with the swapping couple. I sure didn't want anyone hurting Marie. Another rule that we had is that we wouldn't go out and have sex on our own.
I had anal sex with a number of women. It was something I liked but Marie wasn't fond of it. I watched Marie taking on two men at once, sucking one and fucking the other. It was quite the turn on.
.... There is more of this story ...