Author's Note: This is the second part of Ashlee's Weakness which is itself part of a larger story arch beginning with my stories Ashlee and Naiya's Sleepover and Macy's Crush. There are more stories involved, but as I listed many of them in the previous installment I won't bother to do so here. All stories (plus many others I've written over the years) can be accessed from my profile, so feel free to go there if you find yourself getting lost or wanting to read more.
Please feel free to send me feedback whether negative or positive in nature. I did edit this myself, so there are most likely plenty of small errors in the text which hopefully won't bother anyone too much. If anyone notices anything big and ultra annoying I'd love to know about it so I can fix it or at least try to avoid making the same mistake in the future. As long as it's well intentioned and polite I am more than happy to read any criticisms you might have on this or any other story I have written.
And in case you were wondering all characters in this story involved in any acts of a sexual nature are at least eighteen years of age.
When Ashlee arrived back at the apartment from her night of passion with Carrie she couldn't help but be darkly happy to see her lover asleep in her bed. Of course, she really had no reason to expect anything else. Macy wasn't, after all, one to worry. A perfect example of this truth was the fact that when Ashlee had finally gathered the courage to turn on her phone after sitting in her car for more than fifteen minutes in the parking lot where she and Carrie had parted ways she only found one text from her lover that had simply said "hope ur having fun. I'm going to bed. Tell me about in the mornin. Xoxo.:)" and that was it. No passive aggressive messages, no half dozen missed calls and no anything else. There was just one little text and nothing more.
As Ashlee stood in the doorway of their bedroom staring at Macy sleeping so peacefully and managing to look so devastatingly cute despite the drool slowly leaking from the corner of her mouth Ashlee couldn't help but feel like the worst person to ever walk the face of the earth. At least a part of her wanted to feel like the worst person in the world. Really though she didn't feel like anything at that moment. She just felt empty, somewhat vaguely sad and tired. She was very, very tired.
Sure, the guilty part of her wanted to wake up Macy right then and there to shake and beg her for forgiveness for the horrible thing she'd done, but it was honestly just a small part of her. The rest of her just wanted to be left alone to sit in the dark of the living room thinking about nothing, doing nothing and, most of all, feeling nothing. She didn't want to contemplate her sin, the effects it might and should have on her relationship with Macy or her friendship with Carrie. She just wanted to disappear into her head and feel nothing for awhile.
So that's what she did more or less. It was a shockingly easy thing to do. She already felt fairly numb and, again, extremely tired. All it took was one lousy Vicodin from her stash, a couple of hits of the good stuff she and Macy had been saving for a rainy day and a healthy dose of Brian Eno's Music for Airports from her iPod. After that she just laid herself down on the dingy couch and stared at the ceiling until the numbness overtook her and she finally managed to fall asleep just as the battery died and the music fell silent.
As she slept she happily achieved her goal of nothingness. She only slept and forgot what a worthless, untrustworthy person she had allowed herself to become. It was almost perfect except for the fact that it was destined to not last long at all. Of course, she wasn't thinking of that because she had tried hard to feel nothing at all and, for what it was worth, she had succeeded. She was asleep and that was what mattered.
At least, she was until no more than two, maybe two and a half hours later when she found herself being softly nudged awake by Macy's warm lips kissing her on the forehead while Macy's fingers gently brushed Ashlee's hair away from her face as she whispered sweetly "Wake up, drunkie. You're supposed to be getting ready for class."
"What?" Ashlee said automatically as she removed the ear buds from her ears even though she'd heard Macy and taken it all in quite easily.
"I said you have class in like an hour. You need to get up," Macy said, smiling before tousling her lover's hair playfully. Ashlee wanted to be grumpy and tell her to stop, but she just couldn't. Instead she just smiled back at her lover and received an even bigger smile in return for her efforts.
How could she not smile? The sight of lovely, kind and beautiful Macy smiling at her with so much warmth and feeling even though Ashlee knew she had to look like death warmed over instantly melted the coldness she'd felt the night before. She couldn't help it even as the small voice of guilt she'd heard the night before crept back into her mind to tell her she didn't deserve the love hidden so poorly behind Macy's beautiful smile.
Ashlee just couldn't help but ignore that voice as she grabbed Macy's hand to kiss her palm gently. Macy, of course, laughed at her. She kept on laughing even as Ashlee pulled her down into a kiss that Macy broke slowly to tease her saying "What's got into you, weirdo? You're usually not this lovey dovey in the morning. You didn't like take a bunch of exstasy last night or something, did you?"
"No, "Ashlee said, smiling weakly as she tried very hard not to remember what she'd done the night before. It was a failed effort, but she managed to hide the guilt that welled up inside of her and maintained her weak smile only flinching a little before she added "No, I just went to a gay bar with Car."
"A gay bar! You bitch! Oh, you suck so much ass! You went to a gay bar without me? I told I've wanted to go to a gay bar for like forever! I fucking hate you!" Macy said crossing right across Ashlee. Her anger was obviously a mixture of both playful front and real disappointment. She slapped Ashlee gently on the shoulder before adding more calmly "Was it fun?"
"It was okay. I mean, it was like totally much more Zen than I expected it to be. Oh, and I totally got drunk there."
"How the fuck did you get drunk?" Macy asked, still obviously jealous, but also genuinely interested.
"Carrie knew the bartender," Ashlee said simply, her smile fading slightly at the mention of Carrie's name.
"Lucky bitch," Macy said simply before adding "So is that it?"
"What do you mean?" Ashlee said, trying hard not to sound defensive despite the fact that the loving glint in Macy's eye told her Macy was just asking the question because she was simply interested in what Ashlee had been doing while she was busy working far longer and sleeping far less than she wanted.
"I mean, is that all you guys did? Did you just go to a bar and get smashed or did you actually do something fun?"
"Getting drunk isn't fun enough for you?"
"Umm, not really, but that's just me."
"Well, then you wouldn't have had fun, because that's pretty much all we did," Ashlee said, lying with an ease that actually hurt her as Macy smiled and said "Well, as long as you had fun. I, on the other hand, just worked, came home, smoked a bowl with Enrique and watched some Futurama before I told Enrique to split and I went to bed."
"Ahh, poor baby," Ashlee said as she sat up and kissed her lover on the tip of her nose. Then she kissed her again on her eyelid causing Macy to giggle in a way that for some reason really made Ashlee want to kiss her in a more serious fashion, so she did and suddenly she found herself pulling her lover onto the couch as they both just kind of started making out until Ashlee's hands reached behind Macy's back and unsnapped her bra through her t-shirt causing Macy to push her away suddenly to catch her breath before speaking.
"What are you doing? You know you only have like half an hour to take a shower, get dressed and head off to class, right?" Macy said, smiling even as she chided her lover's lack of priorities.
"So?" was Ashlee's only answer as she tried to rejoin the kiss only to be blocked by Macy's hand covering her mouth as she sat up straddling Ashlee's legs. Ashlee, in turn, pushed herself up on her elbows.
"Well, because, as you well know, I also have class today and I, unlike you, cannot be late or that old, evil bastard will lock the fucking door. Besides," Macy said, finally uncovering Ashlee's mouth when she saw the defeat in her eyes. "I totally have some free time after class that would be much better suited for this, so.," and here Macy paused to give Ashlee a soft, warm kiss on her lips that quickly threatened to become much, much more before Macy regained her senses and pulled away before repeating in a slightly more adamant tone "So, you horny bitch, just keep it in your pants until then."
"Fucking fine," Ashlee said her disappointment painfully obvious both in her voice and in the frown that was etched so deeply into her tired face until she finally forced herself to find the bright side as she said "Does that mean you have the night off tonight?"
.... There is more of this story ...