I could hate my sister-in-law, if she wasn't my best friend. After all, she taught me how to diddle and a few other things when we were growing up. Well, okay. She taught me how to masturbate, and how to appreciate another woman's body. Hey, don't you go thinking there was anything wrong in that! Like I said, we're best friends. Bff's, if you pardon the cliché. If best friends decide to do a little mutual experimentation, where's the harm? Besides, it helped keep our minds off of boys while we went through high school and college together.
The reason I could hate her is very simple. She married my big brother! The little bitch knows I love him dearly. Just because she and I played with each other all through school didn't mean I wasn't interested in guys too! It's just the guy I'm interested in is my big brother Michael! I knew I loved him ever since mom and dad passed away in that mountain climbing expedition. He had just turned eighteen the week before and while putting himself through school, kept a roof over my head, and made sure I was safe and loved.
I long to repay that love in the best way I know how! Colleen knows that, and she let him pop her cherry on her eighteenth birthday. What the hell could I do about it? I couldn't just blurt out "No Mike, you're supposed to get MY cherry!" At least I was Maid of Honor when they finally got hitched three years later. I just can't get one tiny little detail out of my mind. Now that they're married, she gets to fuck him any time she pleases! My best friend in the whole world is riding my brother's cock instead of me! It's just not fair! It's gotten much worse over the last few months. You should see the dreamy look of contentment on her face every time she rubs her big round baby belly! That should be MY belly! I should be sporting my brother's baby bump!
Alright already, you mythical readers! I know full well society frowns upon brothers and sisters having THOSE types of relationships. Well, society can go pound sand! I'm not stupid! After graduation, I managed to land a very good job with a forensics laboratory. If I say so myself, my scientific knowledge and abilities hastened my rise to the top. I have my own laboratory, and have helped close many cases that baffled the local law enforcement agencies.
Running my own forensics lab gave me the means to make certain about a key aspect of my lifelong dream. I managed to get a nice hair sample from Mike, with tag intact. I ran that against a cheek swab I took of myself. Fudging the paperwork, I ran a comparison of the two samples. I was extremely excited to learn that although we share a very close familial DNA pattern, we have no annoying recessives that would reinforce each other. Why, I suspect our children will have even less chance of a genetic problem then if two total strangers came together and brought a baby into this world! As embarrassing as it sounds, I meant it when I said I was extremely excited. I took the DNA results into the ladies room and fingered myself like mad while staring at them!
Like I said, I would hate Colleen, if I didn't love her! Once she became pregnant, I decided regretfully to give up on my childhood fantasy. I've dated a few guys now, as well as some very nice women, but at the ripe old age of twenty-two, I'm still virgin. While I've become quite skillful at playing the ol' skin-flute, even to the point of swallowing, I have yet to find a man worthy of giving me that first penetration! My lady friends all understand. I've strapped on a few dildos, but have never been at the reviving end. I kept on trying though. Someday maybe I'd find a man worthy enough to claim me, and give me a baby too. If not, maybe I'd just stick with women, and go to a sperm bank and fertilize myself!
Things changed last week, in a most unusual way. Several weeks ago, there had been a hit and run accident. A vehicle had hopped the curb and collided with a pedestrian on the sidewalk. Thankfully nobody was killed. As it was, a young collage boy on the run to make a lecture had suffered a fractured hip and femur on his right side. He was going to be just fine, but it was my job to bring the hammer of the law down on the driver, if only I could. I didn't have much to work on. The first responders found no witnesses, and as fate would have it, the victim's glasses had flown clean off of his head. All we knew was the car was "really big and black." That was the some total of his recall.
The vehicle had backed off and returned to the street, paused a moment, and then forged onward and away. I lucked out in that the field agents got me some good tire impressions to work with from it's passage over the grassy strip between sidewalk and street. The wheel base and tire tread pattern let me narrow it down to one make and model. The hit and run had been committed with a 2006 Hummer H1 Alpha. I mentally noted that the color and model year was a match to Colleen's big ol' fuel guzzler. That showed just how difficult my problem was. There were hundreds of cars in this region that fit my rather shaky profile!
I had to dig deeper. The case was growing colder by the day. I had all the unfortunate pedestrian's belongings in my lab. The answer had to be there somewhere! The car had been going rather slowly when it hit, thank goodness. That made all the difference. The victim fell, and the car's excessively high clearance did the rest. He wasn't mangled by the vehicle's undercarriage. It simply passed right over his trim athletic body. I think it was also his messenger bag that saved him from even more injuries. Perhaps it had even saved his life, who knows? The car had in fact never actually touched him. It had simply propelled the bag against him, knocking him down.
I stared at the contents of the torn and tattered bag. They consisted of rumpled smelly sweat clothes, a severely damaged laptop, and several text books. The clothes and the smashing of the laptop had been sufficient to help reduce the energy of the impact, limiting injury to his right hip and leg. The books were also pretty beat up. They had obviously been facing the oncoming vehicle. One text in particular, the American History book, seemed to have taken the brunt of the force. I picked up the book and ran my latex gloved fingers lightly over its damaged surface. I could feel indentations in the glossy hard cover. Could I be that lucky?
Using alternate light sources, and experimenting with various filters, I managed to make out a complete license plate number. My heart almost stopped. I looked around me and took a deep breath. I was alone. Nobody had seen what the laser light had revealed. It was a personal plate. It rather hypocritically stated "Greenpowr". It was Colleen's! She was the only person I knew who wanted to save the planet while driving such a huge automotive monstrosity!
How would I ever be able to mock another episode of CSI ever again? This was just the sort of stupid cosmic coincidence I usually condemned all three versions for! I picked up my phone and started punching in numbers to report my findings to the Powers That Be. I froze. Fate had given me a fantastic gift! I guess I wasn't the force for law and order I always thought I was. I felt my panties grow wet as wicked plans filled my fevered brain! I knew exactly what I was going to do!
On the way home that night, I had to run a few errands. First I made four selected purchases at a thrift shop I had never shopped in before. Then I stopped at a drug store and shoplifted a lipstick. I couldn't risk anyone remembering me buying it! Next, I visited at a used book store near the college campus. I said a quick prayer to all the scientists I held as heroes, and hoped against hope they had what I needed!
I made sure nobody was looking while I applied the rather Goth black coloring to my usually naked lips. I tugged on the gaudy black high heel boots that added inches to my height and put on sunglasses with hugely oversized dark lenses. Pulling my long red hair back, I wound it into a quick pencil secured bun before pulling the hood up on the cheap shiny black pleather jacket to completely hide my distinctive hair. Looking into the rear view mirror, I didn't even recognize myself! I pulled on the crappy leatherette gloves before I hopped out of my Prius and clumped my heavy footed way into the shop.
I nearly peed myself with joy when I found a beat up copy of that same text book! Without a word exchanged, I paid the bored kid behind the counter exact change in cash for the tome. I didn't even really need my disguise. She never even looked up from her iPad as she took the money and placed the book into a large plastic shopping bag before handing it back to me. Nobody would ever know I purchased a duplicate book! Now I was ready to strike my deal with Colleen! If it all worked as planned, I would slip my replacement into the evidence locker, and nobody would be the wiser! Hell, I had already decided to do it anyway, but Colleen didn't need to know that! Clutching the book tightly to my breast, I lit out of there like a bat out of hell!
.... There is more of this story ...