Patricia51 made the comment to me some time back that all my cheaters and most of the husbands seem to be stupid. She further stated that my cheating wives seemed to have a lack of respect for their husbands. We traded e-mail about these points and I had to agree with her. I told her I would try to write a story where the cheaters were smart and the wife respected the smart husband.I knew this would be hard to do though because of a failing in me. I feel that cheaters DO disrespect the spouse they are cheating on. Also, from personal observation and real life stories I have heard I believe that almost all cheaters are stupid and take horrible risks-especially those that are having affairs or those who cheat in their home area versus those that are away from home and take advantage of an opportunity when it comes up. How many cheaters start down that path though on a night out with the boys or girls? They get liquored up, play and dance a little too long with a non-spouse and let the excitement of the moment lead them astray. Then how many find they enjoy the excitement of sex with the new person or like the person they cheated with enough to begin an affair? Well, let me tell you, this was one of the very most difficult stories to write because of my personal limitations. I hope it meets with your approval because I sweated blood to even get this one long enough to post.
Another Friday evening and though I was late getting home, my wife Victoria was even later. I didn't like her going out after work with her friends but what can a man do? Every couple does need a life apart from their spouse and Vicky was very good about not only letting me know when she was going out but she also told me where they were going and made sure she got home early. She was usually no later than 8 p.m.
This afternoon I had been out on a job inspection and got a text message from Vicky. "Out 4 drink w grls home late luv u." Vicky is usually good about her going out. In fact it usually isn't more than once every three to four weeks so why does it bother me so much? Well, that's another story. To make it short let's just say I have trust issues of females in general-no, that's not true either. I have trust issues with people male or female that spend time in a bar with their friends and without their spouse or that take a lot of business trips. Vicky does both but the trips are the worst for me by far.
You might ask why I have these problems and how they effect my perception of Vicky. I will tell you a short, sad story so you can see for yourself. I grew up in a bar-literally. My parents owned and operated the most popular bar in our small town outside St. Louis MO. They also operated an upscale French Restaurant in the other half of the bar building. People would come from miles around to eat then would go next door to the bar/night club and dance the night away. I saw it all and at an early age my parents beat discretion into my hide.
It was the summer I was 16 and they decided I needed to learn the business. My older brother and sister had both began working in the business when they were 16 also. By the time I began working there my brother was 21, had a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management and managed the Bar. My sister was almost 19 and just beginning college. Of course as young as I was I wasn't allowed to work in the bar. I was started bussing tables in the restaurant. I deeply resented this demand because like most teenagers I wanted to run the streets and do things with my friends. I wanted to work as little as possible for a lot of money at something I chose-preferably in a location where I could flirt with a lot of young beautiful girls.
I had only been working at the restaurant three weeks when I began to change my attitude about things. My GOD I got to see so much TIT I thought I would go blind. I also got to look up many of the proverbial Little Black Dresses. I saw my first bare beaver (well the first one I wasn't related to in any event) looking up the dress of one of the town's society ladies. What made it even more exciting was watching her and her date during the meal and after in the bar.
Several times my Father or Mother had to come to the door separating the bar and restaurant to send me back to my job in the restaurant. My sister was working that night. She came up to me and said, "Donnie you'd better get back to your job and ignore everything you see or you'll get in trouble."
I turned to her and said, "But Sis, that's Mrs. Horton and she's out with a man. She doesn't even have on any underwear either. Do you think Mr. Horton knows? God I can't wait to tell the guys! This is awesome!"
Sarah looked scared and looked over her shoulder then said, "Oh Shit," under her breath.
About that time I felt my Father's big hand on my shoulder. He squeezed it hard and said, "Don, come with me RIGHT NOW." He turned and walked through the dining room past the waiter's station and into his office. I followed him slowly and, in truth, fearfully. I had been sent back to my job enough that night that I knew I was going to have a serious discussion with my Father.
When I got into the office he looked at me and said, "Close the door and sit down."
I thought oh, crap, this is going to be really bad. I was almost sick at my stomach while I sat and watched my father look at me. Finally, he sighed and began talking. "Don I should have had this talk with you before I let you start working here but I just didn't. I had to have this same talk with your brother and sister too and believe me it doesn't get any easier with repetition."
"Mrs. Horton is a beautiful woman isn't she son?" my father asked.
I was so shocked at that I jumped a little and I felt a little dizzy. I wondered where my Father was going with that question and why the change of topic. While I was trying to frame my reply he said once again, "Isn't she?"
I swallowed and nodded my head 'yes' while I whispered, "Unh huh."
Dad leaned his elbows on his desk, laced his fingers together and rested his chin on his thumbs. I remember his sigh and look of sorrow to this day. Finally he leaned back in his chair and began talking again. I can still hear his words even twenty years later. He said, "Son this business is our life and livelihood. It supports the whole family. It provides us our nice house and pool. It sent your brother to college and it will send your sister and you to college also. It will take care of all of us for years to come IF we don't do something to ruin it."
"Don, if someone you know comes in here with their family you smile and greet them by name. You can visit while you do your job IF the customer wants you to but you have to remember one very important thing. When you operate a business like this you have selective hearing and vision. Part of being in the food service and bar business is discretion. You see nothing you shouldn't see. If someone you know comes in here with someone of the opposite sex that is not a member of their family you call them sir or ma'am unless or until they tell you to do otherwise. You don't remember they were here in that case. You especially don't remember anything they did or how they were dressed."
"If our customers do anything off color we ignore it as long as we can and we DO NOT talk about it outside this establishment. The entire staff is held to these same strict rules. If I ever hear of anyone on the staff gossiping about a customer I let him or her go. Over the years I have had to fire some really great employees because they couldn't keep their mouth shut about the customers. We are known for our discretion as well as for the quality of our food and service."
"Son you are young and I know how your hormones are raging. Hell, even at my age I check out women like Mrs. Horton if I get the chance. Your mother knows I do it and that you will but she also knows it is like window-shopping. You look and never, never purchase or try on the merchandise. I don't expect you not to look but I do expect your discretion and that you not make it as obvious as you have been tonight."
"Something else you should know son is that people like Mrs. Horton are always found out. Gossip will start somewhere else and eventually get back to her husband. If he is like most men it will end their marriage. People who cheat on their spouse always get careless and eventually the spouse finds out. We don't want to be the start of something like that. Many of them have small children and a divorce hurts children very badly. Now go back to work and remember what I said."
I returned to my job that day and worked in the restaurant off and on all through high school and college. I never gossiped about the customers but I saw way too much cheating for someone my age. After I got older and began bussing the bar area I watched as groups of men or groups of women came in on a boy's or girl's night out. I watched as the ones I knew were married did things I knew wouldn't pass the spouse test. I learned. Perhaps I learned too much because I also learned to be intolerant of people who went on the boy's or girl's night out and stayed late into the evening.
I learned that many of the people who were in the area on business would play around and try to pick up locals. This is fine, of course, if they are not married but many of them were-or at least they wore rings that said they were. In many cases they would pick up on one of our married customers. I learned to feel disrespect and disgust for them but everyone got treated with the same amount of courtesy and discretion. We did want repeat business after all.
.... There is more of this story ...