Phillip smiled as he handed the young man a cup of steaming hot coffee, the boy returned the smile, sitting the cup on the table.
"Thank you Phillip," Jamie leaned back in his chair and tried to seem at ease. He had been outside doing a few odd jobs in the boat yard when Phillip had stuck his head out the door and called for him to come to the house. "What's up?"
Phillip settled into the chair across the table from the boy's questioning look. His eyes, dark and serious, focused on Jamie.
He was looking at a young man of twenty but he looked more like sixteen. Jamie had a slight build and stood only five feet and seven inches above the ground. He might have weighed one hundred and fifty pounds if he had a pocket full of rocks and was soaking wet. Yet this boyish creature across the table had killed in battle, and jumped from airplanes in the darkness of night. It was hard for Phillip to see this young man floating down from a dark sky with a loaded machine gun and death as his job. Philip shook his head in wonderment that this young man could be a veteran of not one but two wars. Though it had been short Jamie had did a lot so far in his life. Phillip stared at this ex-sergeant of the 82nd airborne division, but all he saw was the boy Jamie. He saw the trust and loyalty, and he also saw the intellect that led the young man to a hard decision.
When you are in the 82nd you are the sharp end on the governments stick. When the government decides to poke somebody into action, the 82nd is the prod.
Jamie had been deployed to the Domican Republic, what he saw and what he had been ordered to do, made him realize that his country was wrong. This fact, while sobering, was not enough to make Jamie consider for a moment leaving his friends. He had served out his tour of duty until the day they were sent home to Ft Bragg, N.C. and everyone had slipped back into their chicken-shit routines.
Then came the call to head for Vietnam where after six months his political education was completed. He found that he was not willing to continue to kill and main for his country. When he was sent to Hawaii for two weeks of R and R he decided that he would go AWOL. He took a plane to Denver where he stayed with a friend for a month. After thirty days he took his friend and her mother to eat out at The Denver Drumstick afterwards they dropped him off at a police station where he turned himself in as a deserter. He had stood before a panel of officers who found him guilty and sentenced him to one year at hard labor and a bad discharge. It was a surprisingly harsh sentence, Jamie had figured that his record would count for something but apparently it hadn't.
"Lord knows, when the cold wind blows, It'll turn your head around."
The words of the song played through Phillips mind as he looked at this man. A man who would serve time in jail, rather than do something that he didn't believe in. Yet when he first met him he was working as a male prostitute in Jackson.
Phillip shook these thoughts from his mind and got back to the business at hand. "I enjoy working with you, Jamie boy; you have impressed me with your work habits. That alone would be enough to make me ask you to work for me." His hand reached across the table and took the boys hand. "The nights have been very good, you are very exciting to me and I love having you in my bed, but, and this is a kind of an important 'but', I want more."
Phillip stopped talking; he looked at the younger man, almost a boy, slight of build but hard muscled, small but tough and wiry. He felt a desire to have him again, it seemed that the boy had some sort of spell on him; he wanted him all the time. This young man with his baby face had occupied his thoughts since that first night he laid eyes on him. He had driven by him twice before deciding to take a chance on him. It was the best gamble that he had ever made. The boy had brought happiness and excitement back into his life. Phillip felt that he loved this boy; he wanted him to be his for a long time. Maybe a lifetime, if he was lucky.
Jamie had jumped to a wrong conclusion. Suddenly he felt that Phillip was looking for a kind way to tell him that his time here was over. The thought hit him like a hammer to the chest.
He had begun to feel like a part of Phillip's household, maybe even like a part of a relationship. He had felt that this was a perfect place to stay until his enlistment in the army would have passed. Jamie could not face the disappointment in his father's face if he ever found out what sort of discharge his son had gotten. Jamie had been lost, with no trade except infantryman, no money and unable to go home or ask for help from family. Jamie had done a lot of hitchhiking while he was in the service and he had found that gay guys really loved his cock. Jamie had always loved blowjobs and when these guys would give him a ride and then let things slip that they would love to suck his dick, he always let them. This time he had started to let them suck on his dick for money, after all you have to work with what you got.
He met Phillip while he was standing outside the park in Jackson, and they had hit it off right away. He had let his emotions run away with him, had let his desires blind him. He had crossed lines with Phillip, he had jacked him off, he had caressed his body, and he had even allowed Phillip to kiss him on the lips. He felt that he had offered his best to this man and it had been accepted and now this. He was good but not good enough. He felt water forming in his eyes. He just wanted to get the fuck out of here, the hurt was too much. He hung his head to hide the tears and waited for the words that would break his heart.
The awkward silence extended itself. Just as he was about to break it, he heard Phillip speak again. "I know that you want to go on the boat with me," he stopped like he was trying to lure the boy into denying the truth of what he had just said. The boy remained silent; his eyes seemed to be boring a hole into the floor.
"I want you to be my crew but even more I want you to be my lover, I want to be your captain in real life, both during the day in the running of the boat and at night in my bed." He eyes locked with Jamie's for an instant. "You know how much you mean to me, you have eyes, I have not hid my feelings for you. I want you to give yourself to me as a bride. I want to have you as a wife, someone that I can always trust to bring pleasure into my life. I will make a fine husband to you, I will be a man who will protect you and love you. I want to make your body burn with the heat of my lust for you. I want to be able to touch you and hold you any time that I need to or want to. I want to feel your touch on me and I want to know that you will please me when I need pleasing. But most of all I want to make you happy. I am only asking you to give this thing a try for a few months. I am sure that this is the best thing that could possibly happen to you. We can work together to make our dreams come true. I can help you, and you can save me. I was pretty much dead before I found you. I was just going through the motions day after day, until that finial day they buried me. I had no hopes or plans for the future. You have changed that for me. Now I think about how to get new contracts. How we can build this little business into something that I will be proud to give to you. I think we can make it into something you would be proud to own. You can save me from a wasted life" Phillip forced himself to stop; he was rambling on and sounded desperate even to himself.
Jamie blinked away tears as he raised his head and looked into this loving face. He could see the truth in his eyes as he heard the words. The young man's heart had swelled and forced a lump into his throat. Jamie watched Phillips's face as he tried to answer his question but the words would not come to him. In their absence he rose and went around the table and bending down hugged the bigger man with all his strength. His own strong arms bringing the hard back edge of the chairs frame painfully into his chest. Phillip's chair was an old dinette chair with a chromed metal pipe running around the back and then going down to become the legs below. On the chair that Phillip had sat in tonight there was a loose screw; this screw would usually be snugged down into a counter-sunk recess so that it would never be noticed, much less felt by anyone. Tonight that little screw was like a spike, pressing like a blunt tipped nail into the flesh of Jamie's chest.
Phillip raised his hands and held Jamie's' close to his chest. Jamie found himself willing away the pain from the screw and finding a warm glow taking its place. He still felt the pain but instead of something to be suffered through, the pain had become a test of desire. He let himself melt into the glow. He loved the test of the pain; he loved standing up to it for the sake of this man who held him. He felt himself flowing into another shape becoming somebody different then the man he had been before. The jabbing pain and the pleasing effect were doing a number on his mind. He held him with his face pressed into the side of his neck for a long time. The boy could feel the strength in the older mans body, but it was not Phillip's arms that held Jamie in his painful position. It was Jamie's love for this man.
.... There is more of this story ...