Can we get this over with. Mark is feverish again? I think he has another ear infection."
"I don't know if we can get this over with or not. I need to know what happened between you and your mother."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You two were thick as thieves before the baby, now you are cold to each other. I mean you both love Mark, so it isn't that. It's something else."
"I don't know what you mean, Mom and I are fine."
"You are not fine and I want to know what is going on. You haven't been yourself since the baby was born. Your mom isn't constantly making excuses for you, like she did before. Something is going on, and I want to know what the hell it is."
"Why what difference does it make to you?"
"Because things have changed between us as well. I want to know what it is. Is it that postpartum thing? You don't seem crazy."
"No of course not," I replied.
"Do you need to see a doctor?"
"No, I don't need to see a doctor."
"Do you want a divorce?"
"No, I don't want a divorce." At that moment I realized that it wasn't just a passing comment. Martin was considering a divorce. If I didn't do something, I was going to lose everything. If he found out I might lose it all anyway. My mind raced should I tell him or try to keep the secret.
"Should I just ask your mother?"
A cold fear ran through me. If he asked her, she just might tell it all. Her version wasn't the whole truth, but it would surely be enough to drive a wedge between Martin and me. One that might not be repairable. I couldn't breath suddenly. I wanted to run away, but I knew I didn't have anywhere to go. Running wouldn't change anything at all. I would have to return. Unless I told the truth, it would be even worse when I got back.
"Martin, this is not a good idea."
"Is it that bad?" he asked quietly.
"Yes it is that bad." I admitted.
"Then let me get a drink."
I was torn between clearing my conscience and trying to save whatever was left of our marriage. Of course it seemed that not telling was going to drive us apart as well. I decided on the spur of the moment to just tell it like it happened. I did just that.
Martin had to go on a business trip during my last month of pregnancy with Mark. I hadn't wanted him to go of course, but it was go or be out of work in a shaky economy. Neither of us could see any other way.
Martin didn't want to leave me alone, so I called my mother. Since mom and dad had divorced just after my marriage, I knew that she was lonely. It seemed as though it would be a perfect fit for a couple of weeks. Martin's boss assured him that he would be home before the delivery date.
Martin kissed me goodbye and left me with my mom. That, as they say, is how it all began.
"I have a date tonight Marsha will you be alright home alone for a while?" mom asked.
"Of course, I'll be just fine. You won't be out too late will you? Remember it's a school night." I couldn't help the joke. Mom had said that to me at least a thousand times. I had been a popular girl in school. Probably because I liked to laugh and have fun, but not so much that I got a bad reputation. Since I was a so called good girl, I was even the parents of the boys I dated. As a matter of fact I was still a virgin when I first slept with Martin.
The knock on the door came about an hour later. Mom was still dressing so I answered. "Hello," I said in greeting the man not quite old enough to be my father. Mom it seemed had attracted a younger man. "You must me Simon?"
"Yes I am. You must me Marsha. Your mom told me you would be staying a few days."
"Yes, that's me."
"You are quite beautiful. I find pregnant women to be so sexy."
"Hardly, I waddle when I walk." I laughed.
"Ah feeling fat are we. Let me assure you that being pregnant is beautiful on a woman. Not to mention how exciting they are in bed."
I couldn't believe it. He was flirting with me. He might be just a little less than hitting on me, but I wasn't all that sure. "Well I doubt that you would find me much fun in bed at this stage." I wondered why I was playing along. I decided that it was because no one flirted with me once I started to show.
"Oh you never know." He seemed to laugh at the thought. I joined him, since his laugh was infectious. I was feeling a little heated, when mom came into the room. I actually said a silent thank you. Flirting has a way of being fun and dangerous. The danger is probably why it is fun.
Mom and Simon left for dinner and a movie while I sat in front of the TV and stuffed myself with ice cream. I had a huge craving for ice cream. I had resisted it right up until Marin left on his trip. I knew it was late when I woke but not how late. I checked mom's room to see if she was in before I went to my old bed.
She was in alright and so was Simon. Simon was standing looking right at me through Mom's half closed bedroom door. Mom was faced away from me. She was also on her knees with Simon's penis in her mouth. I gasped, but she didn't notice. However Simon did. He smiled at me, then put his hands behind my mother's head and began to pump her mouth.
I was shocked and wanted to run, but I was frozen in place. I was just as much pinned in place by the sight, as my mom was pinned in place by the strangers hands on her head and his penis in her mouth.
I saw him stiffen, then he gave out a quiet but unmistakable grunt. Mom didn't even move she just seemed to speed up her movements. I was terrified, so I did what I always do. I ran to my room. I sat there listening to them through the wall. Finally I fell asleep, but even then I couldn't get that visual out of my mind.
I awoke with a start. Simon was sitting on the edge of my bed. He was dressed at least. "Marsha I wanted to suggest that you not judge your mom to harshly. She is a lonely middle aged woman doing what she has to do."
"You mean to tell me, she has to do that to have men in her life?"
"Not just do it, she has to do it exceptionally well." He said it unapologetically.
"That is an awful thing to say."
"Maybe, but it is the truth. Anyway I just wanted to try to explain." he paused but he didn't stand to leave. To be honest I should have asked him to leave, but the image was still rattling around in my head. It was most disturbing because I had refused to do that for my husband on more than one occasion. To be honest it was exciting to see it done for the first time. I had seen photos and video of it, but I had never seen anyone do it. Even more exciting was who I saw doing it. It was my mother for God's sake.
"Is your milk flowing yet?" he asked it as though it were no big deal. I have no idea why but I answered him.
"Not yet, the nurse said not to worry the baby would start it, when the time was right."
"Anyone can start it, and the time is right."
"How do you know," I meant for it to sound like rebuke, but it didn\'t come out that way.
"Because I have two children and I started my ex wife each time."
"Oh," was all I could manage.
I was a little surprised when he reached over and lowered the blanket. He could see the outline of my breast through the tee shirt I slept in. "See how they puff up at the nipple. It is past time to start your flow. You will feel better once it starts." Without asking he lifted my tee and took my right breast in his curled fingers. He left the nipple uncovered.
"You like that don't you?" I didn't answer. "It's okay. I know you do." then he bent down and sucked my nipple as he massaged my breast.
I felt as though something was trying to happen but nothing did. He lifted his head smiled a wicked smile at me and said. "Brace yourself this is going to hurt a little." Then he took the nipple in his mouth and squeezed hard. He also sucked very hard. Suddenly I felt something deep inside my breast begin to itch. It was an itch I could never reach to scratch, but he was massaging my breast and it felt glorious.
When he removed his mouth from my breast, he kissed me. I tried to resist but I was too helpless for a real defense. When I opened my mouth to him a warm liquid flowed into it. He had delivered a mouth full of my breast milk. I was so turned on I returned his kiss. He broke the embrace and repeated the same thing with my left breast. It seemed less painful on that one. It did not seem any less erotic. I was gasping when he finished.
"Now what was your mom doing for me?"
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say so I said. "She had your penis in her mouth."
"Cock, call it a cock. What was she doing with my cock?"
"Sucking your cock," I said quietly. I was terrified and exhilarated at the same time.
"Are you as good a cocksucker as your mother?"
"No, I have never done that, ' I said it and immediately felt embarrassed. Not because of what I had said, but because I had never done it.
"Stand up," he quietly demanded.
I knew I should have refused, but I stood up without objection. When I was standing facing him, he pushed down on my shoulders. Again I should have resisted, but I could feel the tingle in my breast as the milk seeped out. I could feel the warm squishy feeling in my stomach as I slipped to my knees.
"Unzip me," he said. I shook my head. He wound my hair around his fingers and said more forcefully, "Unzip me."
I unzipped his trousers and worked his penis out. "Do you like my cock?" I couldn't answer until he pulled my face against it. "Do you like my cock?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"Do you love my cock?"
"Yes," I whispered. At that point I was lost and I knew it.
.... There is more of this story ...