The music started and all the guests stood and looked toward the back of the church as the bride on the arm of her father started down the aisle toward my son who stood there watching her walk toward him. Forty-eight hours ago I'd have given odds of ten thousand to one that the wedding would never happen. I still didn't understand why it was taking place, but who in the hell can understand kids these days. Oh well, it was Rob's life to live, not mine, but I would have thought that the night of his bachelor party would have been a wake up call.
"Richard, I'm leaving" my wife hollered up the stairs at me. I walked down the steps and offered her my mouth for a goodbye kiss. She kissed me, slipped me a little tongue and then said:
"Don't wait up for me honey. If this thing goes like most of them I'll be too blitzed to drive and I'll crash at Melanie's."
"I guess there is something to be said for having the bridal shower at your sister's."
"Do you know what you are going to do yet?"
"Rob and I have decided that it will for sure get drunk out at the bachelor party and we are going to cab home when it is over."
"Well sweetie, if it is your typical bachelor party and they bring in a stripper you better keep your hands to yourself old man. I want all you got so don't be going and giving my stuff to some young twat who won't appreciate it as much as I will.
She leaned forward, kissed me again, and then left. As I watched her go I just hoped that Rob would luck out and that Karen would be a wife half as good to him as his mother had been to me.
It was your typical bachelor party. Two tables of poker players puffing on cigars and drinking booze and everybody with one ear listening for the knock on the door that announced that the entertainment had arrived. I felt totally out of place. Everyone was Rob's age and I was the only old fogey in attendance. I had known it would be like that and I had tried to get out of coming, but Rob had insisted.
Financially it was a good move on my part because those young guys didn't know how to play poker and I was cleaning up. They were doing all kinds of stupid stuff like holding a pair of fours with an ace kicker and only drawing two cards or trying to draw to an inside straight. One of them in a hand of seven card stud stayed in until the last card with nothing but an ace, king in the hole against two pair visible on the table. It was like taking candy from a baby. Then they started getting silly with adding wild cards. When Rob's best friend had the deal and called seven card stud with "deuces and jacks and kings with an axe" wild I gave up playing and went over and sat on the couch and watched the porno tape that someone had brought.
By eleven everybody was antsy because the stripper was a no show so Jim said, "Let's take the party to the Kit Kat Klub" which was a topless joint on the other side of town. I was all for going home myself, but I had promised to ride herd on Rob and keep him from getting in too much trouble so I found myself going along with the rest of them.
I have no idea how we managed to get tables right up front that late at night, but we did and it probably wasn't a good thing for Rob. Karen, the bride to be, was drop dead gorgeous, but she had been short changed when it came to the breast department and here he was with a front row seat where he could feast his eyes on some of the biggest, firmest and best ta-ta's in the state. The poor guy had to sit there and drool in his beer. What's more, everybody in our party knew it. Since it was Rob's bachelor party the guys started buying him lap dances. Jim went so far as to tell one of the girls about Rob's status and the size of his intended's chest and the girls teased him unmercifully when they gave him his lap dances.
By the time the first girl had finished her lap dance Rob was a quivering wreck. When she walked away leaving Rob with a tent pole in his pants I knew he was going to end the night with a raging case of blue balls. With the rest of the guys egging the girls on each lap dance got a little more intense. As it got later and the place started clearing out it got even better — or worse — depending on how you looked at it. In our city there are laws regulating what the girls can do and there are people who enforce those laws. Those people go to places like the Kit Kat, pretend to be customers, and try to catch the girls breaking those laws. As the Kit Kat emptied out leaving only customers that the girls knew were not cops they got a little raunchier. Bare tits were rubbed on Rob's face, pressed into his chest as the girl sat down and ground herself down on his hard pants covered cock. One girl even reached down and rubbed it a couple of times with her hand.
Everyone got into the sprit of the thing and Rob and I ended up smashed. Smashed and broke, although we didn't realize how broke until after everyone else had taken off. We were standing in front of the Kit Kat digging through our pockets trying to come up with enough to pay for a cab and not doing it. Cabs in our town were notorious for not taking checks, but I did have a credit card and six blocks down the street was the Shangri-La Motel. We walked (actually, we staggered) the six blocks and got a room for the night. It was the last vacancy they had and we were lucky to get it, but then again maybe were weren't all that lucky. The Shangri-La was an old motel, built on the cheap before building codes came around, and the walls might as well have been tissue paper.
The room to the south of us had someone who snored louder than a buzz saw for twenty minutes or so and then he would wake up. The snore would be replaced by a hacking cough until he fell back asleep and then the snore would be back. The room that backed up to us to the east had a drunken couple who's idea of a good time was to fight with each other and we had to listen as they shouted, screamed and yelled at each other.
But it was the room to the north side of us that was driving me crazy. From what I could tell hearing the voices coming through the wall there were two women and five men and they were having what seemed like an orgy. With all the racket sleep was impossible and we were more or less forced to listen to the sound track of a porn film we couldn't see. They voices were a little distorted by the wall, but what was going on was clear enough:
Woman (1) — "Oh god, oh god, oh god that's good. Push deep, push it in, push it deep. Harder, oh god please give it to me harder."
Man (1) — "Jesus she is tight."
Man (2) — "You think she's tight wait until you try this one's ass. I don't think that it has seen cock in quite a while."
Woman (2) — "Umph, oohg, aahhh."
Man (3) — "Shouldn't try to talk with your mouth full honey."
Woman (2) — "Mupth en blrlhpt."
In the background behind that little exchange woman (1) was constantly moaning out, "Oh god, oh god, oh god yes, harder, fuck me harder."
Man (3) — "Hurry up man, you've been in her ass forever. I want a chance to fuck her."
Man (4) — "I'm tired of waiting. Open your mouth honey."
Woman (1) — "I don't do that for anyone but my husband."
Man (4) — "You do tonight sweetie."
Woman (1) — "I said I don't ... mphglorp umph."
Man (4) — "That's a girl, suck it sweetie, suck it."
Man (5) — "Come on you guys, I've been waiting almost ten minutes now."
Man (1) — "I'm almost ready to blow. Get on over here and get ready; we need to keep this hot bitch going."
Man (4) — "Keep her going? Shit man, the problem with this one is going to be staying with her. Either her hubby doesn't take care of business or she comes out to play to keep from fucking him into an early grave."
Man (5) — "Let's do a three holer on one of them."
Man (4) — "Which one?"
Man (5) — "The young one. She already has a cock in her mouth and in her ass."