"I got in! I got in!" Melanie screamed as she ran into my room. She waved her course list in my face and dropped it on my lap. I picked it up and scanned her courses. Sure enough, there it was on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 1:30 to 2:30: Melanie was enrolled in BIMBO Math.
The course title wasn't actually BIMBO Math—that's just what we nerds in MCU's math department affectionately called Behavior of Integral Matrices with Balsak Optimization. The comp sci guys all thought they were so smug, running around with their little Master PC programs that they write, but none of them understood the math behind it. None of them could understand the beauty behind the program, the maths that made it tick. That's what Balsak Optimization is.
I smiled and put her schedule down and handed her mine. "Looks like we're in it together."
"Sweet!" Melanie gloated. "Another class I get to kick your ass in."
"You wish! I so would have gotten a better grade than you in Computational Unified Number Theory if you hadn't sucked the professor's cock for a 97 on the final."
Melanie's mouth dropped open and she hit my shoulder. "I didn't not! Who would suck Professor Hebert's dick anyway? Eww, gross." She stuck out her tongue for emphasis.
"So, you want to go get some dinner or something?" I asked her.
"Nah, I've got some stuff to do," she laughed.
"Jenny Halstead flunked out!" There was nothing worse than flunking out of MCU. Not only did it mean you weren't protected from the other students any more, but the administration actively encouraged the other students to have their way. However, rumor had it that anyone, student, faculty, or even an outsider that tried to MC someone still enrolled at MCU would wake up as the main act in a Thai ping-pong strip show, if they woke up at all.
"Phil put in first dibbs and we're going to get together with some of the CS guys and have some fun." In other words, they were going to bend her all out of shape with some poorly written version of the Master PC program and have a fuck-fest. "You should come along."
"Thanks for the invite, but you know it's not my thing."
"Your loss. That girl is going to be such a good pussy licker by the time I'm done with her." Melanie rubbed her hands together and gave me a toothy grin.
"If you wanted us to, we could grow a dick on her for you to suck."
I just glared at her in response.
"I know. I know. You're not gay. Anyway," she said. "I'm off. Catch you later."
I watched Melanie walk out and sighed. I was kind of a misfit in the math department. Most guys in it were into the big-tit small-brain girls that the CS and engineering majors seemed to pump out by the dozen. I never got the attraction. They're breasts. Every other person has them and even if they get inflated to the size of cannonballs, they're still just breasts. I always figured they should use blow-up dolls. The dolls would have just as much personality, too.
Melanie was what I was looking for. I didn't care that she was flatter than most cutting boards. She was smart and my kind of cute. One drunken night I admitted that to her and she laughed at me. I think her exact words were, "Me? Hot? What are you gay? I look more like a boy than most guys!" Unfortunately for me, though, Melanie was gay. The only way I'd have a shot at her would be if she failed out like Jenny, which wasn't going to happen.
Monday morning when I walked into BIMBO Math I pretty much knew everyone there. By the time you get to this level most of the pretenders and other majors have fallen out and you wind up with the same bunch. I said hello to a few of the guys I liked more, then went and sat next to Melanie.
"Afternoon," I told her.
"How's it going?"
"Not bad. How was your first class?"
"Easy. I hate that we have to take all those liberal arts crap classes. I could sleep through philosophy and still get an A."
"I know what you mean," I nodded. "I still needed my gym requirement and the only thing left open was weightlifting."
That sent Melanie in to a titter of laughter. "You! Weightlifting? I've always been surprised that you could manage to lift a pencil." She reached over and easily wrapped her hand around my arm. My pulse quickened with her touch.
"Ha, ha. Aren't you the funny one," I scowled, trying to hide my excitement. Dr. Richardson came in before she could reply. He scanned the class and did a double take when he saw Melanie.
"Ms Tweedy, please see me in my office after class," he said. I gave Melanie an inquisitive look and she shrugged her shoulders.
I'd had Dr. Richardson for Computational Organization of Connelly's Kernel. He was one of the better teachers I'd had, so knew I'd learn my stuff but struggle to keep up. He didn't waste any time getting into the material. The way he explained it, the principle of Balsak Optimization was the interaction of spherical sets on matrices. Using the correct sets would cause the matrix to become rigid and allow for easy manipulation. Dr. Richardson promised us we'd be spending the rest of the semester squeezing spherical sets around matrices until we got the the correct flow.
After the class was finished, I looked over at Melanie. She was still staring at the whiteboard. It looked like there were beads of perspiration on her forehead. "Hey, Melanie," I said.
She shook her head, "Sorry, is this class intense or what?"
Melanie finally started getting her bag together. "Do you wanna go to Dr. Richardson's office with me?"
"Sure," I told her. "I'm done with classes for the day." I picked up my bag and we headed out of the class.
"I wonder what he wants to talk to me about. The least he could have done was to wait for me."
"He's kind of a weird guy. I had him for COCK."
We made idle chitchat the rest of the way to Dr. Richardson's office. When we got there, Melanie lightly rapped on his door.
"Come in," he said. Melanie gave me a parting glance and went in. Since she didn't close the door, I could hear their conversation.
"You wanted to see me?" Melanie asked.
"Yes. I think you should drop out of Balsak Optimization."
"What?" Melanie asked. It took me by surprise, too. "Why should I?"
"We generally don't let girls take it." After he said that, I thought back to the class. Melanie was the only girl I could remember seeing in there. I'd just assumed it was because Melanie was usually the only girl in my math classes.
"Well, in the school's history, not one girl has ever passed the class."
"I'm not just some ordinary girl," Melanie protested. "Of everyone in BIMBO Math, I got the highest grades in CUNT and COCK."
"There's no doubting your abilities. You're brilliant, but you'll fail this class. All girls do."
"Isn't that a bit sexist?"
"Sexism has nothing to do with it," Dr. Richardson responded. "We don't even like for guys who are enrolled in a physical education course to take it concurrently." My heart skipped a beat. Why not? I needed the PE to graduate at the end of the semester and there was no way I was going to drop out of BIMBO Math.
"I'm not dropping it," Melanie said. I could hear the strained anger in her voice.
"Suit yourself. Personally I don't care, but Professor Herbert would give me hell if he found out I let you stay in without telling you to quit."
"Well, it looks like I'll get to be the first girl to pass." Melanie stormed out of his office and pass me. I ran to catch up with her.
"Hey, Melanie," I said.
"Fuck off! Fucking men!" she said. I stopped and watched her walk off.
I'd hoped to spend the rest of the day hanging out with her. So much for that. I thought about going back to my room and playing on the computer or doing some studying, but I found myself worrying about the PE class. If I didn't pass, it meant another year, which meant more tuition and pissed off parents. I didn't want to, but I reluctantly headed off to the gym.
"No, your left sphere isn't large enough," I told Melanie. We were sitting in an empty class room studying for our first bimbo test. "If you massage it like this, and give it a tweak here, there, now the matrix is rigid." I put the marker down and stepped back from the board.
Melanie stared at the calculation. I kept waiting for her to say something, but she just sat there. I looked back at the board. Was she finding something to criticize? There was nothing wrong with it. My spheres that encompassed the matrix might have been a bit on the large side, but it was a big matrix.
While I waited for Melanie to say something, I rubbed my sore biceps. After my first gym class, when I couldn't even bench the bar, Coach Wilkes told me in all likelihood I'd fail. Since I couldn't afford to do that I'd been going every day for the first month of school. I woke up sore every morning, but it was worth it. I could now bench 30 kilos. Even Coach Wilkes was impressed with my improvement.
Sitting there staring at my proof and the wonderful optimization, I got restless. I needed to move. Melanie and I had been studying for two hours and I was finished.
"Hey," we said at the same time.
"You first," I told Melanie.
"I'm kind of hungry and I was thinking of going to the mall to get something, you want to come?"
As much as I wanted to be with Melanie, sitting around the mall wouldn't get me a passing grade in PE. I'd made progress, but it wasn't enough. "Nah, thanks though. I need to hit the gym again."
"Oh," she pouted.
.... There is more of this story ...