Thanks to the Hip and Knee doctor for editing assistance.
I should have known better. I wanted it so bad that I let it cloud my judgment. A guy like me never gets a girl like Marsha. Maybe in the movies, but not in real life.
Three years ago Marsha started work in the office of SSA, that is; the Safety and Security Affiliates. All of the male employees were aware of her presence, mainly because she was a notch above the other office girls. She wasn't smarter or better educated, but prettier and sexier. She didn't wear a wedding ring.
My infatuation with her quickly waned because I immediately knew that she was totally out of my league. Hell, I wasn't even in any league. The only girls, or woman, that I ever had any relationships with, were the ones that charged by the hour. I wasn't a virgin, but that was only because I worked up the courage on several occasions to approach one of the less ferocious looking ladies of the night. Actually, I found a few of the younger ones attractive, but all that they wanted from me was my money. I couldn't even find a whore that would want to spend any one-on-one time with me, if there was no cash involved.
I was raised by a single mother. I never met my father. I guess that might have had something to do with my lack of social skills with the ladies. My mother noticed the problem and really tried to help me. I spent almost two years going to ballroom dance classes with her, but all I got out of it was the ability to dance. I still lacked the confidence and courage to meet and relate to the opposite sex.
After I finished school, my mother married and moved to Florida. We talk several times a year, but that is the only contact that I have had with her.
I liked working for the SSA because it didn't require me to interface with too many people. My days were spent inspecting fire detection and alarm systems. The company was also active in installing security systems, for which I had no interest or involvement in whatsoever.
After work, I had no social life. In the evenings, I enjoyed working through logic problems and had subscriptions to all of the puzzle magazines. Although I had a home computer, I only used it when I had to. Most of my meals came out of the microwave oven. I was a fussy eater, and I guess that is why I never weighed over 150 pounds; light for my height, but healthy.
I didn't even own a suit, because I never needed one. During the day, I wore my work Dickies that were supplied by the company. I even wore them on the weekends when I wasn't working. There was a landline phone at the house, and I had a company cell phone. The cell phone had unlimited minutes, so I used it whenever I called my mother.
Contacts bothered my eyes, so I always wore glasses. They were not stylish, cool ones, but rather practical; as a nerd would wear. Actually, I think I was a nerd.
My interactions with people were always within careful limits. I didn't piss people off and I didn't excite them either. I had no opinions that were worth sharing, and I was the world's worst joke teller.
Now that you have a pretty good idea of what I had to offer the world, you can fully understand why I was surprised and stunned when Marsha Trent started casually chatting with me, on a daily basis. I was not the only one to notice her interest and after a few short weeks, I was getting teased about it, from the other office girls and some of the guys. I was flattered, but confused.
I remember how it all started.
"Dennis? Could you please do me a small favor?"
I was sitting at one of the tables in the break room having lunch. I assumed that she wanted to borrow a chair or ask me to move to another table. "Sure. Anything."
"Would you sit with me while I eat lunch?"
All I could do was nod. A few minutes later I was still trying to figure out what was going on. Other employees noticed and a few quiet comments were made. As was my nature, I did not speak. There was nothing that I could say that wouldn't make me look like an idiot, so I kept my mouth shut.
"I hope you don't mind, but this is a lot easier for me."
She seemed to be arranging herself before answering, as if she was getting ready to give a prepared speech. At that point, I should have realized what was going on.
"When I come in for a break or to have lunch, some of the other guys always sit with me. It makes me uncomfortable. They are either making crude remarks or undressing me with their eyes. It is better being with you."
Well, I didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult. I felt a little defensive.
"That is understandable. You are an extremely attractive woman and any man that didn't fantasize about you would be brain dead."
"Do you fantasize about me?"
"A little, but I try not to let it show."
"And you do an excellent job of it. That is why I need to sit with you. As long as I am with you, the other guys won't bother me."
That didn't make sense at all. There was nothing intimidating about me. How in the world would my presence discourage a low-life from making a remark or from even leering at her?
I finished eating and sat silently until she was done. Nobody bothered us, but we got a few unusual glances. As I got up to leave, she touched my arm.
"Can you sit with me again tomorrow?"
I smiled, nodded, and walked away confused.
A week later we started having conversations. It was difficult for me, but she made it a lot easier. I discovered that she was a single mother with two girls in grade school. Her working shift corresponded with their school hours. She never mentioned a husband, ex-husband, or father figure. I was too lame to ask.
My spirits were up, and I felt normal for a change. A regular guy was getting to spend time with a gorgeous girl on a routine basis. I didn't care that it was only lunch in a company break room.
Our contacts grew more frequent and I started to feel comfortable with her. At the same time I was feeling uneasy. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. After a few weeks she invited me to her home to meet the girls and have supper.
Brandy and Brenda were cute little things, but a little too well-mannered for my taste. Children under ten are supposed to be rambunctious and noisy. I felt as if I was spending the afternoon with 'Stepford' children. Actually, Marsha was a little like a 'Stepford' wife. They were perfect; too perfect.
Marsha and I started to go on little outings together. Of course, the girls were always with us. We hit all of the parks, zoos, and other similar attractions within a day's drive. The more time that I spent with the girls, the more relaxed they became. Before I knew it, I was looking forward to seeing them every chance that I got.
I don't remember how it happened exactly, but one night after about four months, I found myself in bed with her. When I play the events of the night back in my head, it always comes out the same way. I didn't do a thing to initiate it. She took the lead and seemed to control everything: the place, the time, and what we did. Now, I am not complaining. It was the first time that I got any without having to pay for it. I can't say that it was wild passionate sex, but it was the real thing. After the first night, we started to enjoy ourselves on a regular basis. At least I was enjoying myself. I was never sure about her.
Marsha had small breasts, and even after having two children, they were still fairly perky. Of course, you have to remember that I am not an expert about such things. She didn't shave like the girls in the porno movies. Every time that I got to watch her walk to the bathroom naked, was a thrill. My life had suddenly taken a very different turn, but something wasn't right.
To everyone's amazement, Marsha and I married two months later. It was a small ceremony. My mother flew up from Florida to meet the daughter-in-law that I believe, she never expected to have. I paid for her ticket. Most of the people that attended the wedding were from work. Marsha's mother, in Mount Carmel, was not able to make it. I had never met her or any other members of Marsha's family. She never talked about them.
We found a small house to rent, just until I could get a twenty percent down payment saved up. I was always cautious when it came to financial matters. Marsha no longer had to work, and became a stay-at-home mom. We had sex on a regular basis which I always enjoyed. I had a perfect wife, with two perfect daughters. It was like the 'Twilight zone.'
After the first year, I had figured that things would mellow out for me, but that never happened. Every day was the same, and the longer it went on the more paranoid I became. I would sit quietly some evenings and try and figure out what was wrong. The problem was that nothing was wrong. Marsha was a great wife, a great mother, and a wonderful partner. I started to think that I was going nuts. I was messing with my own mind and I couldn't stop. Why? Why was this happening to me? Why did I insist on ruining my own life.
The best part of the marriage was the time that I got to spend with the girls. I think that they enjoyed it as much as I did.
I am a logical person. I like to analyze things and draw conclusions. It is my nature. There was no reason why I couldn't look at this situation and figure some things out. I had no intention of turning into some type of prying busybody, but I would have to start paying attention and looking into things.
.... There is more of this story ...