How's this for a twist on the old catching your wife screwing around with another man story - My mother made her do it. Honest to God, that's her story and she was sticking to it.
I caught my wife cheating on me in a most unusual way. I was cheating on her when I saw her cheating on me, but she didn't see me so I got to claim the moral high ground, at least for now.
I'm a buyer for a large chain of stores and I spend a lot of time dealing with the sales reps of a lot of different companies. I had a ten o'clock appointment with a Mrs. Cindy Meyers who was a sales rep for a large electronic firm and Mrs. Meyers walked into my office promptly at ten and my jaw dropped a foot. It had been almost fifteen years since I had seen her, but there was no doubt that Mrs. Cindy Meyers was the Cindy Elwell that I had gone steady with for three years in high school. The very same Cindy Elwell who had given me her cherry (in exchange for mine) in the back seat of my father's Pontiac, who had given me my first blowjob, who had asked me to fuck her in the ass, and who had abandoned me for a college student in our senior year.
She recognized me at the same instant and the cheery smile on her face disappeared, "Should I even bother to sit down?"
I got up and pulled out a chair for her and said, "I'd be crushed if you didn't."
She sat down and I sat down at my desk opposite her and gave her a big smile, "All right Mrs. Meyers, tell me what you can do for us."
She looked at me and said, "Am I wasting my time?"
"Not at all" I said, "Put our past history out of your mind. You are not here to beg forgiveness and I have no intention of pleading for a second chance. Go ahead, sell me something."
The rest of our meeting was professional and business like and when it was over she had a sizeable order in her order book and I had gotten a good deal on several items that we sold a lot of. Then the conversation turned to old times, the "do you remembers," and the "whatever happened to" and the "did you hear abouts?" By then it was lunchtime and I offered to take her to the restaurant at the Marriott and she accepted. We had just ordered drinks when Cindy said to me:
"I'm really not all that hungry. Not for food anyway. How about you?"
Her meaning was clear and while I had never cheated on my wife before this was Cindy and I guess I had some unresolved issues, like maybe I was hoping to hear her say, "I'm sorry I left you for that asshole, he couldn't hold a candle to you." You know, stuff like that. Whatever the reason, I found myself saying, "Are you sure?"
Cindy smiled and said; "I've never forgotten that Pontiac, have you?"
I was on my way to the desk to get us a room when I saw my wife coming across the lobby with a man in a suit. She had her head turned and was talking to the man so I didn't think she'd seen me yet. I detoured to the end of the check in counter, turned my back and picked up the house phone. Behind me I heard the man say, "Reservations for Mr. and Mrs. Burns" and then I listened to the rigmarole of signing in and then the man said, Oh, and please have room service send up a bottle of champagne. That all right with you my love?"
My wife's voice said, "What ever you decide darling."
The clerk gave them the key to 746 and they went over and got on the elevator. I hurried back to Cindy and told her that whatever we did it wasn't going to be at the Marriott and then I told her why. She broke out laughing and I swear every eye in the place was on us. We went to the Holiday Inn and had a very enjoyable afternoon and when we parted we vowed to stay in touch and we probably will. She was much, much better in that Holiday Inn bed than I remembered her being before she dumped me.
I was home that night when Janine got home. "Busy day?" I asked.
"A real rat race. The customer that I'd been working with came in and didn't like anything that we had put together for him."
I smiled at her and said, "Would that by chance be the man you went to the Marriott with today?"
I saw her face lose a little color, but she was quick on her feet, "Yes, he took me to lunch there."
I smiled again, "I wish I could get me a customer or two who would buy me champagne."
Now there was alarm on her face, "What do you mean?"
In a very stern voice I said, "You know very well what I mean Mrs. Burns. I mean the champagne that you and Mr. Burns shared, among other things in room 746."
Now all the color had drained from her face, "How did you find out?"
"Well, a very good friend was using the house phone at the end of the check in desk when you and Mr. Burns checked in. You could have knocked him over with a feather when you said, "Whatever you decide darling." Care to tell me about it?"
A touch of defiance crept into her voice, "What's to tell? I spent four hours with him, we had sex several times, I came home."
I know I was being a real shit about it, considering the way I had found out, but I couldn't help myself, I was enjoying it.
"Forgive me if I sound like my ego has been trampled on, but I thought that I was doing an adequate job of seeing to your sexual needs. Please, where have I fallen down on the job?"
She faced me in silence for a few moments and then she said, "You haven't fallen down on the job. I'm perfectly happy with our sex life."
"Then why, pray tell," I wanted to know, "an afternoon spent with Mr. Burns?"
More silence, a deep breath, and then, "Your mother made me do it!"
Two things here to kind of clear the deck. I never had any intention of going ballistic on my wife for what she'd done. My secret fantasy, never mentioned to her, was to see her fucked by someone else. I had never mentioned it to her because I never believed that there was any way in hell she would ever do it. Now, following her afternoon romp with Mr. Burns, my fantasy did not seem like it was hopeless after all. Secondly, whatever she was going to tell me about my mother I was going to believe. My mother has never liked my wife. Of course, she has never liked any of the women in my life. Some of the things she had done to put those women in a bad light convinced me long ago to ignore anything my mother might say or do.
It was supposed to be a bachelorette party for my cousin Renee, but it had turned into a real 'drunk out' for most of the women who attended. They had set up a male stripper to come in and do a strip-o-gram for Renee and by the time he got there the girls were ripped. He was only supposed to strip down to his g string, shake his package in Renee's face while she sat in a chair, but that's not the way it went. The girls were throwing singles, fives and tens at him and screaming for him to "Take it off, take it all off." The guy was there to make money and if the women there wanted to see what he had bad enough to pay for it, so be it.
.... There is more of this story ...