"I've already received ten phone calls from the morning and I am being laughed at." It was my ex-wife expressing her feelings to me. Funny she was doing it to me now. In all our days as husband and wife, (and there were 3150 of them) she did everything but share her feelings with me.
"Why? Were you caught wearing a see through bikini on a camera?" I asked her as she stormed into the living room.
"This book of yours talks about our marriage in great detail and also accounts the affair that I had with Mark." She said as turned to face me after entering the house. Her eyes were red, maybe she has been crying or maybe she is just pure mad at me.
"This is a work of fiction. How can it account for our marriage?" I said as sat down on my Lazyboy.
"You have talked about how I isolated you from all your friends when we moved to the larger house in a better neighborhood." She was talking about hoe our old friends were suddenly not good enough to rub shoulders with her new elite friends when we moved to a more upscale neighborhood.
"Did you do that? I thought we just drifted apart from them." I said with a smirk on my face.
She shifted in her seat and looked too darn uncomfortable, "Yes, that is what happened but you made it look like that I did it on purpose in the novel."
"You are reading too much into it. I already told you it was a work of fiction. I know you did nothing of the sort. My heroine did it because she was an evil bitch." I was beginning to enjoy this.
"You also said that I aborted twice because I did not go through childbirth and lose my figure." She did read the book through, I guess.
"Did you?" I asked raising my eyebrow.
"Of course I did not." She countered.
"That is correct. In fact my heroine also had her tubes tied before marrying again. That cannot be true for you, knowing that the two of you have been trying to make a baby for so long. I remember Mark telling me that more than anything else he wanted to be a father back when we were friends. I hope he still feels the same way about children." Mark was a good friend of mine before he stole my wife.
"How can you even say something like that? Of course I did not get my tubes tied. I am devastated that we have not had a child." She said, but the confidence in her voice was gone.
"But, every physical description of Judith, Mike and Andy meets mine, Marks and yours." She protested. Jane is very perceptive and could understand that Judith was actually Jane, Mike was Mark and Andy was me, Andrew.
"No it doesn't. It says that Mike is six foot and his dick is just 4 inches when at full mast. I am sure Mark has more than 4 inches." I knew for sure Mark was 4 inches after having seen him so many times in the shower.
I continued, "See, the heroine of my novel is also carrying on with three affairs after her second marriage, one with her black trainer Judd (Jerome in real life), her friend Harmon at the charity where she works (Herb in real life) and her former husband's boss Daniel (David in real life). I am sure that you are not fucking three people aside from Mark are you?"
"This is ridiculous. Why would I fuck around on such a great guy as Mark?" She was getting agitated.
"I agree that it is ridiculous. So, why would you say that anything in my story is related to us and our marriage?" I asked again.