Honey can you get me another car — mine isn't as good as Mary Ann's. Dad get me a faster computer — the
one I have is slow and the new games need a faster computer now. Daddy I need a new dress to wear to the
winter formal — the one I have I have worn twice now.
I have had it, no more taking care of other people and their problems. It is all that I have done since I was a
little kid. Well not really, I was big kid for my age (5'5" 175 pounds at 9 years old) and every time I turned
around my parents would tell me to watch out and take care of my little brother and sisters. Then when I was
older I was just the biggest guy around and it was just assumed that I was the protector of the little guy. Now it
did have its nice side a few times when given a little reward for not letting someone get the crap beat out of
When I went off to college, I was just looking for something that would enable me to hide and be left alone so
I majored in business administration. After graduation, I was offered a job for a meat packing company in
Omaha, Nebraska. As the new guy I was given the task of solving all the little problems that came up, like
dealing with suppliers and distributors. And over time I got to where I got things done real fast, sort of a "let's
cut out the crap and settle this and get back to work."
After a couple of years working there I was at a meeting just across the river in Council Bluffs with a trucking
company we used and I was introduced to their new office assistant. Carol was her name and she can best be
described as a pixy. 4' 10" and maybe 90 pounds dripping wet. After the meeting as we were leaving she said
that her car was in the shop and could I give her a ride home. After that we started dating and a year and a half
later we got married. She called me her Bear and she referred to herself as Little Red Riding Hood.
Well now it's three kids and thirty-five years later and I'm still acting like her protector and I guess provider. Oh
she has a job at the trucking company still but it's more like five hours a day, four days a week.
I have been for years getting the feeling that I was more there to keep her in the life style she wanted rather
than her making me feel like I was loved and cared for. She likes to sleep late, I am an early riser, and after
years of her hassling me about waking her when I got up in the morning to go to work, I caved in as usual and
moved into the extra room downstairs.
I cannot put a day or even a time that I came to the understanding that all I ever felt was that my life was just
lived to make it easier for others. The house was not what I wanted, it was over 4,000 square feet of
pretension and I never felt like it was "MY" home but just a place where I was supposed to show up and to pay
the bills as they came in, and oh boy did they come in each month.
So back to why I'm writing this.
To all my co-workers, family, and friends;
I decided a few months ago that all of you can just take charge of your lives and take care of all your own
problems and that I am starting as of today to live just for me. This is not a hasty decision — it has taken me
months to decide just what I wanted to do as well as to plan it all out. I am going alone without anyone coming
First to my co-workers, If you have a problem just "handle it." If by now you can't handle it then go down to
McDonalds and get a job there.
To my friends, the next time you need someone to cover your ass while you are out humping a co worker or
the barmaid, or your house need to be fixed, either do it yourself or call a repairman.
To my family;
Kids, the cost of your schooling is paid in full. After you graduate, get a job. There will no more money from
me. If you want spending money get a job. If you can't maintain a C average and you drop out of school, well
the financial arrangement I made with the school was payment in full and is nonrefundable, so if you leave or
drop out of college the school gets to keep the balance of your tuition.
Carol my wife, you can do whatever you want the rest of your life; if you want to file for divorce on grounds of
desertion that is fine with me.
Just so that you cannot say that I have lost my mind, here is what I have done.
Over the past year I have converted ALL the savings, interest, and dividends to cash.
I used my credit cards to get a few things that I'll need for my new life so there isn't any room left on cards for
your use. The house has been refinanced to the max and the property taxes as well as back loan payments are
now due. Carol, you are responsible for all the taxes and payments since they are in both of our names. I took
the cash value of my life insurance. My retirement and 401K are closed, and savings accounts were closed as
well, there will be a 20% early penalty tax payment due next year so Carol, just "handle it". Carol, your car has
one month left on the lease and then you'll need to find your own transportation.
Last week when my car was in the shop I really did not have a loaner car. What I did was to sell the BMW for
cash and got that little sedan. It's very cheap to operate and gets great mileage and it feels more like me
anyway. If you remember or even noticed, there were no license plates on it and you cannot trace me that
way. I got it from a private party so there is no bill of sale to be recorded.
All my "good clothes" are still there hanging in the closet and I will not be having a need for them anymore, I
will just need a few things that are comfortable and wash easily or as you called them my grubbiest things.
Now as to what I have planned or at least what I am willing to let you in on. Over the next few months I'll be
driving all over the good old United States to see it from ground level and not at 35,000 feet — you could never
understand why I loved to just go for drives and see things as they just came up and not all planned out like on
those tours you took me on. I will not use the interstate highways but I'll take the little state and county roads
to see little towns where their name just might be bigger than the town is. I'll stop at every little city, town,
village that looks like the 21st century has not gotten there yet. Places where the most up to date traffic control
is a flashing red light in the middle of town. Places where most people drive a pickup truck, not some high
priced foreign car.
I plan to find a place to settle in to before winter — the thought of winter driving does not appeal to me, as you
My personal attorney will be contacting you. Yes, dear Carol, I got my very own attorney and not the high
priced skirt chaser you like. He has a way of getting hold of me should my good name need to be protected as
well as representing me in any legal matters. Now, he can contact me but he will never be able to find me nor
will any of you. I have removed all connections to my old self. My new persona has no credit cards, no
passport, no bank records, and no cell phone.
Have a good life and see if you can stand on your own from now on will you!! I feel that, Enough is Enough.
It has now been 3 months since I left my old life and started on the quest for a new and what I know will be a
I wanted to get away as far as possible or at least as far as I could and have as many options as I could. A week
after leaving I ended up in Middle America at a place called Lake of the Ozarks. I got a room at The Point
Randall Resort. I am not a fisherman by any means — I really don't know how I found it but I guess after driving
over 200 miles of back roads and you're getting low on gas you make a decision to just stop running. Now I had
driven over 2000 miles since leaving, I had enough driving, and wanted a place to just hang out and relax and
this place looked like it. There were a lot of small and medium size fishing boats and the place said that they
had boats to rent as well as vacant cabins. I spent three days there listening to all the sounds of the wild. Just
taking a little boat out on the lake and cruising around — I know some might have thought I was a bit odd not
wanting to fish but just to motor about and take life very slow. Some say that fishing is relaxing and I guess for
some it is. But all that I saw was a lot of hurry up and pack the boat, get out there as fast as possible and try to
get your limit as soon as you could so that you could rush back in and sit around bragging — lying to each other,
this not in my way of relaxing.
After three days, I packed up and headed out. I wanted to keep going west since I knew that there was a lot
more open space and as I recalled people were a lot more open to people just passing through.
I ended up the day in Appleton City, MO, population 1,300 the sign said. They had one hotel and it was even a
nice one. From what I could tell it was build in the 1920's and refurbished a couple of times and had all that I
needed that's for sure, hot bath, TV, a firm bed and very roomy. When I checked in the clerk asked how long I
was staying and was I there for business or pleasure. I gave her what I had decided was going to be my "cover
.... There is more of this story ...