I looked at Barry lying there next to me on the bed and wished I could go to bed with him every night and wake up with him every morning instead of just once in a while. What was hardest on me was knowing that Barry wanted it to, but I just could not do it. I knew what would happen if I did and I just could not do that to him.
I met Bobby in junior high and I was his from the first time he said hi and introduced himself to me. He asked me to go to the movies with him and I said yes and from then on we were an instant couple. As far as the rest of the kids were concerned we were 'The Golden Couple." Bobby was the quarterback and captain of the football team and I was a cheerleader and class president. We were the Homecoming King and Queen and it seemed like all school social activities revolved around us.
My eighteenth birthday and the senior prom were on the same day and following the dance and after two after prom parties I surrendered my virginity to Bobby. From that point on we made love whenever and wherever we could.
Our football team, under Bobby's leadership, went undefeated for two years straight and Bobby was besieged with offers from a dozen universities and colleges and he chose State. I was a straight A student and I had half a dozen scholarships and though I really wanted to go to CU I went to State because that is where Bobby was going.
Bobby and I were so hot for each other that sometimes we did not use good sense and halfway into our freshman year at State I got pregnant. Bobby didn't care. When I told him he just smiled and said:
"What the hell baby, we were going to get married later on anyway. It will just happen sooner is all."
Neither of our families were happy about it, but they offered their support. The plan was for me to stay in school until I had the baby and then the grandparents would take turns babysitting while I went back to school and finished my degree program.
Bobby was on his way to a lucrative career in the NFL and our future looked bright and then it all came crashing down. Bobby went out with some friends one night and got drunk. He and his buddies were watching some guys who were doing some 'extreme' skateboarding and Bobby's friends were commenting on the skill necessary to be able to pull off some of the moves and Bobby, never a shrinking violet, said that anybody with a sense of balance could do what the boarders were doing. "Bullshit" one of his buddies said and Bobby said;
"Bet you ten bucks I can do it. I've never been on a skateboard in my life, but if you want to put up the money I'll show you just how easy it is."
His buddy pulled out a ten dollar bill, Bobby borrowed a skateboard from one of the boarders and promptly broke his leg in three places and his football career was history. He lost his full ride and since he had been a mediocre student at best — just keeping his grades high enough to allow him to stay on the team — he rapidly lost interest in school and dropped out.
Until that point married life had been fine for us, but things started to change. Bobby found work easily, but after finding a job he couldn't keep it. I blame Coach Nichols for that. Coach Nichols was Bobby's high school football coach. When Bobby took over as quarterback the team had never had a winning season and Coach Nichols knew that his time as a coach was running out,
Bobby had a natural ability, a feel for the game, and in the huddle he started changing the plays that Coach Nichols sent in. The team started winning and although Coach Nichols kept calling Bobby into his office, reading him the riot act and threatening to bench him if he didn't follow the coach's instructions Bobby just listened politely and then went out and did what he felt he had to do to win. In the huddle everyone looked to him and did what he said. He was in charge. He was the one in control. Bobby was a natural leader and Coach Nichols bowed to the inevitable and left Bobby alone and Bobby in return gave him his first ever winning season and then went undefeated for the next two years.
Bobby left school with the mindset that he knew better than anyone else. He was the leader, he was in charge and he told people what to do; they didn't tell him. It didn't work that way out in the real world. When the boss told you what to do you didn't argue with him if you wanted to keep your job, but Bobby never seemed to learn that lesson and it cost him job after job after job.
I was in my sixth month and was hurrying through the hall to make it to a class I was late for when someone tripped me and I fell to the floor. I woke up in the hospital and after making sure that I was okay they told me that I had lost my baby. Bobby went out and got drunk and came home calling me a clumsy bitch who had cost him his son. Our marriage went downhill from there.
Because Bobby couldn't hold a job I had to quit school and go to work to help support us. I quickly learned not to leave money where Bobby could get his hands on it because as soon as he had some he went out drinking and when he drank he usually got drunk and when he got drunk he got abusive. The first time he came home drunk and hit me I was so shocked and upset that I ran out of the house crying and drove down to the park. I sat on a bench crying for over an hour and when I finally stopped I went home and found Bobby passed out on the living room floor. I left him there and went to bed.
In the morning Bobby couldn't apologize enough for what he had done, but six days later he came home drunk and did it again. But I'd had those six days to think about it and I vowed that he would never do it again and get away with it so when he did it I left the apartment and waited two hours before going back and found him passed out on the bed. When he woke up in the morning I had him tied hands and feet in an X to the bedposts. I waited until he was wide awake and yelling before I went into the bedroom with an aluminum pot and pounded on his body. I stayed away from knees, ankles, wrists and elbows — and his head of course — but every other inch of his body felt that pot. When I was done I told him the next time he came home drunk and used me for a punching bag I would use a cast iron skillet and I wouldn't take care to miss things like knees and elbows. Then I left him tied up and went and had my hair done. That didn't turn out to be one of my better decisions because Bobby wasn't able to get up to pee.
Bobby was a quick leaner. He stepped up his verbal abuse, but he never raised a hand against me again. But what he couldn't do to me he could and did do to others. Even though our own relationship was in the toilet he was still a very jealous man and if he saw me with another man, no matter how innocent it might have been, Bobby would accuse the other man of trying to get into my pants. Sometimes words would be exchanged and the fight would be on. It had happened a half dozen times over the course of a year and twice Bobby had sent guys to the emergency room at the hospital. His luck held though and he was able to get away with it because witnesses were never clear as to who threw the first punch and Bobby was always able to claim he was just defending himself. That and the fact that none of those he fought ever pressed charges against him.
As I looked down on Barry sleeping peacefully on the bed I knew I could never let Bobby find out about him. If Bobby could send guys to the hospital for just talking with me or having a cup of coffee with me I couldn't even begin to imagine what Bobby would do to a real lover.
Barry was an accident. Regardless of how things were going between me and Bobby I had never even thought about another man. It happened because of Bobby.
One night I got a call from Mack Ellis the owner of Mack's Bar and he asked me to please come down and get Bobby.
"He is way to drunk to drive. I took his keys and had a couple of guy's park so as to block his car in case he has another set of keys. I can't let him drive. The way things are now if he drives and kills somebody I'll be the one who gets sued because I sold him the booze.
"Let him walk. Maybe the exercise and fresh air will do him some good."
"Can't do that either. He steps off the curb in front of a car and I get sued. Do me a favor and come down here and get him I'll repay you by giving you your first two rounds free the next time you come in here with your friends after work."
"Just me or the whole group?"
"The group. Come on honey, come and get him."
I got to Mack's and saw cars bumper to bumper both in front of and in back of Bobby's F-150 and I could see him sitting in the truck. When I walked over and pulled open the door and the interior light came on a shocked Billy Jean Evans pulled her head up off of Bobby exposing his wet cock. Billy Jean had gone to school with us and she had always had the hots for Bobby. Twice she had made a move on him trying to split us up and God knows right then I wished she had been successful.
Billy Jean's face was wet with tears and she cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't tell Gary. Oh God, don't let Gary find out."
Gary was her husband.
"Maybe I won't tell Gary if you tell me how long this has been going on."
"Maybe eight or nine months. Please, I'm begging you not to tell Gary."
"Why would I want to tell Gary? He might do something to put a stop to it. You are welcome to this piece of shit. You keep him busy and he will leave me alone. Fact is he is going to need you because he is never going to touch me again."
.... There is more of this story ...