A Bad Spell of Whether

by IDAsmith

Tags: Fiction,

Desc: : Abraham needs a bodyguard, but there are a few conditions.

From: Abraham Stuffy <amandaandabrahamstuffy@email.emc> Subject: Inordinate Pabulum With Sail Due to Masseuse Cues. To: Professor Standing <oldpal@email.emc>, Brandy Occult <getsitdone@email.emc>, Tops Corporation <bigbusiness@email.emc>

I will be unapologetic to communicant by retail for a smile. A soreness naked Emily Gudtri has impassibility then a canal iterate in me, and rebated to my fancifulness to my dating Amanda by pacing a cruse on our spelunking audibility. We have magnified the paper authoritative and hype that this polemic will be rewired softly. I analogize for the convergence.

From: Brandy Occult <getsitdone@email.emc> Subject: Unfortunate Problems With Email Due to Malicious Curse. To: Abraham Stuffy <amandaandabrahamstuffy@email.emc>

Thank you for the notice. The translation spell I cast on your email worked fine, so we can continue to communicate by email while you are cursed. The translated version should appear below so that you can check to see that this is actually what you meant to say.

Please let me know if there is any way I might be able to help.

P.S.: Say 'Hi' to Amanda for me.

-- Abraham Stuffy <amandaandabrahamstuffy@email.emc> wrote:

(TRANSLATION) I will be unable to communicate by email for a while. A sorceress named Emily Gudtri has implausibly taken a carnal interest in me, and reacted to my faithfulness to my darling Amanda by placing a curse on our spelling ability. We have notified the proper authorities and hope that this problem will be repaired shortly. I apologize for the inconvenience.

From: Abraham Stuffy <amandaandabrahamstuffy@email.emc> Subject: Unfortunate Problems With Email Due to Malicious Curse. To: <getsitdone@email.emc>

As it ruts to, tear is a otter you mist asset me wig. The Ulcerous Rimes Nit has undermined that the reverently comprehended Ms. Gudtri had an uterine movie for her austerest in me. I have enveloped a maniacal cognition that gently penances the surgical pore of alone in a seal respiration with me. I will dereference be attaining inertness from a neat satiety of logical involvedly, deluding many with donation absurdities.

I thievery need avoidable macabre prospection. The Soreness Cries Unify will pride suitcase predilection for a whir, but daises that I empty a suable boycotter as soon as foible. I understate that you softies perfume those cerises. Are you avoidable for duh?

(TRANSLATION) As it turns to, there is a matter you might assist me with. The Sorcerous Crimes Unit has determined that the recently apprehended Ms. Gudtri had an ulterior motive for her interest in me. I have developed a magical condition that greatly enhances the magical power of anyone in a sexual relationship with me. I will therefore be attracting interest from a great variety of magical individuals, including many with domination abilities.

I therefore need formidable magical protection. The Sorcerous Crimes Unit will provide suitable protection for a while, but advises that I employ a suitable bodyguard as soon as possible. I understand that you sometimes perform those services. Are you available for such?

From: Brandy Occult <getsitdone@email.emc> Subject: Unfortunate Problems With Email Due to Malicious Curse. To: Abraham Stuffy <amandaandabrahamstuffy@email.emc>

I might be able to act as your bodyguard. Just what power-level of beings are we talking about?

Talk to the Sorcerous Crimes Unit. I have worked with them before, and they know what I can do.

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Story tagged with:
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