When I met Tammy she had two kids, Cindy, fourteen and Thomas, five. Tammy was married to Thomas' father, John. They'd been together for six years. I have no idea how they made it that long. She despised the guy, hated him from the very start. She got together with him on account of his dick. Apparently, the guy was hung like a regular horse. And he had money. The Roth family lived under a cloud of recriminations, always short of all-out violence. He never laid a hand on her. I think she would've killed him. She was an animal in bed, and out of it, too. Instead, he insulted her. He cussed her out in front of the kids, whenever he spoke to her: bitch, slut, whore, cunt. She was all of these, but he didn't have to get the kids involved.

Tammy was 33 years old, when we met at work. I was 24. After a long night of heavy drinking and smoking pot, she drove me home. I had no problem convincing her to come up to my apartment. We were both drunk. We made out on the couch. By the end of the night, I'd shot a load into her mouth, which she swallowed, and then she gave up her motherly-pussy on the shag, living room carpet. From that night forward, we got together as often as we could. It never bothered me that she had a husband. We shared the same woman. He fucked his wife. So what. My joy in Tammy was in her body and in that tight pussy of hers.

She didn't love John. That was clear. She used him to keep a roof over her kid's heads. Our relationship was less materially complicated. But it got more elaborately twisted. It was sex, sure. But over time, our adultery evolved.

"If I didn't have you," she told me one time, "life would be unbearable. You and me, our time together, that brings me the only joy in my otherwise shitty life."

Leave, I would say.

"I can't divorce him. Why? Are you going to marry me? No? I didn't think so. On my own, I'd have to move into the ghetto, live next to gang-bangers and rapists."

"You can live in a trailer park." I'd say.

"Fuck you," she'd say.

I have a feeling John suspected for a long time. I put myself in his shoes. The pressure must have built up, the fact that his wife was fucking other men. That idea overtook him. And so, one day, when the kids were at school and Tammy was working, he shot himself in the head. Cindy, Tammy's daughter found him after school.

"I feel guilty, Tammy," I told her. "It's my fault." Our fault.

"Stop. Don't. How do you think I should feel, then? He's been on some serious antidepressants for years." she said. "The drugs have side-effects. And he had issues that had nothing to do with you or me. So don't say anything. No one knows why he did it."

Tammy and I didn't see each other outside of work for several days. She buried him and then she told me she was going on a family vacation, a little something to reconnect with the kids. But before she left, she wanted to spend the night with me one more time.

"When you come back, maybe I can come to your home," I said.

She smiled. "That would be nice. I have to be the best mother I can be," she said. "I need to spend more time at home."

On that final night, after work and after several drinks, we went into the bedroom and had sex, an almost ritualized long protracted sex act, slow kisses, full of deliberate movements and meaningful looks. We showered and washed each other, all the while kissing and caressing all over. She sucked my cock in the tub, as the shower rained down her face. We got out and dried ourselves with our towels. I had her bend over the sink, while I got down on my knees and I slowly ate her pussy out, licking her swollen clitoris, bitting her ass cheeks, even tonguing her asshole. She squirmed and giggled. We went back into the bedroom, to our cold sheets and we fucked like animals, biting and scratching each other.

We went out for dinner at a family-Mexican place and then came back to my apartment. We drank shots of tequila, and we fucked again. We built up to the point of cumming and then pulled back. Sweat ran down our hot bodies. After an hour of this, we collapsed. Beyond spent, she lay next to me, stroking my whithered cock. We enjoyed the quiet rest before we fucked some more into the early morning.

She cleared her throat. "Steve," she said. "Can I tell you something? This is me, okay, and I'm not expecting anything from you. Don't freak out." She got up on her elbows, and turned her tired face toward me. Her huge tits hung beautifully down to her stomach. "You've been great to me all these months, especially recently. You keep me sane. I don't know what I'd have done without you. I want to let you know how much you mean to me, and not just for the wonderful sex, which is great. The best. But even beyond that, I want to let you know that I appreciate you and that I love you," she said. She sighed and fell back on my arm. "Don't say anything, now. Just know that whatever happens, I'll always love you."

"I love you, too," I told her. I explained a bit of what I meant by that. "I love you as my friend, as my lover." I went on and on. That made her very happy.

She told me she wanted to give me something she'd never given anyone before.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Get up," she told me, and jumped off the bed. I marveled at her stark, honest nakedness. "Come on, get up. You need to be standing." I lazily slid off the bed and onto the cold wooden floor.

"Do you have any Vaseline?" she asked. I started getting some ideas about what she had in mind.

"No," I told her.

"Any baby oil?"

I looked at her like she was crazy. "What would I do with something like that?"

She tapped her foot and pinched her nipple. "Shampoo, then?"

"What the fuck do you want with my shampoo, Tam?"

She put her hands on my arms, and kissed me, tongue and all. "Will you just bring it to me?"

I left the bedroom and brought back an almost full bottle of VO5.

"That'll do," she said. I didn't ask her any questions. "This'll clean up well, too, so it's perfect. Come over here, behind me. Maybe you'll want to turn on the lights. I wish I could see what it looks like." She put her upper body on the bed. She pulled around her the pillows and the blanket. Her ass hung over the side, so beautiful and round. She spread her long legs wide and adjusted her body. "Pour that into my ass crack and then rub it in. I want you to fuck me up the ass."

I got excited at trying something new. I'd never done this before. In the past, with other women, I'd brought up the subject, but none of my girlfriends would ever consider it. Now it was Tammy asking me. She was telling me she wanted me to fuck her where no man had ever fucked her.