Shortly after I turned 18, I drove five hours to see my friend who’d moved away the year before. We shared birthdays that month and had always been tight. Her parents were out of town, and she’d stocked up on cherry vodka — perfect for our weekend.

It was snowing when I got there, and on the way, I passed that adult store she’d mentioned. The guy across the street hated it so much he’d put up this giant thirty-foot cross glaring right at the place. Classic.

We hugged, then she dropped the news — a migraine was coming on. Damn. But fuck it, we headed downstairs. I tossed my bag in my room, changed into shorts and a shirt. She handed me a drink right as I stepped out. “You might as well have some fun,” she said.

She took meds, slapped a heat pack on her neck, and fell asleep about an hour later. I kept drinking cherry vodka and 7UP. Early evening, but I wasn’t about to just sit around. I switched into sweatpants, a hoodie, grabbed my shoes, ID, and some cash, then stepped into the cold.

The walk to the store was just a few blocks. Snow was piling, wind was picking up, and the cold bit into me. At the door, a sign: Must be 21 or older. Fuck it. I slipped in anyway. The woman behind the counter asked for ID, I gave it to her — she glanced, handed it back, probably didn’t care or didn’t look.

I roamed the aisles, grabbing a few things, then went to pay. She disappeared through a back door and came back. I found out there was more in the back half — theaters, booths. My curiosity started spinning.

My friend had been vague about what went on there. But this lady? She saw my wheels turning. “You wanna go back there? See what it’s about? Maybe have some fun?”

“Like sex?” I asked, half joking.

“All the time,” she said. “If you wanna try, I’ll let you in free.”

I hesitated, then she pointed me out the front door around the side. “We just shoveled the sidewalk. You can check out the rooms, and if you want, do something.”

I walked around the back. The parking lot was full. Inside, at a different counter, the same woman gave me some advice, then let me through.

A short hall led to two doors. I picked one and stepped inside. The door shut behind me.

The room was dark, L-shaped, with chairs and couches scattered. Two TVs flickered porn. Men lounged and stood, shadows among shadows.